Disclaimer: I don't own Touhou.


Chapter 4: The start of something? (disaster ver.)

"Sorry for intruding."

Before the two companions of a young doll and its maker stood a gigantic, wood-sculpted double door with beautiful symmetrical patterns. The two were no doubt in front of the Scarlet Devil Library- a library that is said to hold more books than one could own in his entire life.

And as they sometimes said: "Reality is but a sliding door."


"Remi! Put that book back to its place!"

Instead of a tranquil, thick silence that usually welcome Alice Margatroid's routine visits, a different course of reality is happening, quite loud in fact. But the cause is not that one, for she heard an intimate name that came out from Patchouli Knowledge- her fellow magic user.

"What? Is this book something you don't want me to see? Even though I am your best friend?", the winged girl casts a sly smile, hands pulling said book farther from Patchouli's reach.

"Not after you indiscreetly picked it out of all the ones I told not to! It showed that you deliberately- Ah, Alice…"

The purple hair girl clad in a long, one-piece pajama like robe which exposed not a single part of her body in its fabric seemed to have taken Alice's visage into view as she stammered down her argument with the other party.

Alice gave a light nod, and indeed saw another face here who she rarely interact with.

"Good afternoon, Patchouli-san, Remilia-san."

"Hello…"

"Yea, fancy seeing you, puppeteer."

The two greeted the dollmaker back curtly. For awhile, Alice wondered how she should deal with the now-disinterested vampire.

"Well, aren't you in luck, Pache? Thanks to the guest's arrival, your secret is safe, today.", saying, Remilia handed a paperback book which had a strong magic seal in the front to Patchouli, who took it grudgingly as a result of hinted words.

"I haven't seen that book before.", Alice realized, for all the books in this library are all thick-covered, not a single one paperback. Then, she quickly dismisses it, since it might be a private matter.

"Why don't you have a seat, puppeteer? Sakuya will bring tea over to us soon."

"What? Are you going to stay, Remi? Is the sky outside raining now, with thunder to boost since it's not even night yet?"

"How cold. Your best friend decided to visit you in your own lair, and mockery is all I get?

"We see each other everyday in the dining table, Remi."

Both of them snickered without backings down an inch for peace, air of imitate hostile bubbling up.

"You two sure are great friends, aren't you?", Alice intervened, she really thought so about the relationship these two have,

"As if."/ "As if."

Since a simultaneous reply is always the strongest proof for such denial, isn't it?

"Go back to your sleep, Remi. If you're here, I and Alice won't be able to concentrate in research just like with a certain someone."

"A child I am not, mind you."

"But a child I still am, ze!"

*CRASHHHHHH!*

Suddenly the library window was swung open, no, made that "purposely crashed over" by a black and white object straddling in a straw broom.

"Ah…"

"You jinxed us, Pache."

"About time", Alice checked the time in her wristwatch, that one always conveniently and selfishly shows up here in such fashion, doesn't she?

"Marisa! How many times I tell you not to go through ugh, huff... huff…the window!?" midway in her sentence, the short-fused magician came short of breath.

"You really should go out more often, Pache/ Patchouli-san/ Patchouli." the other three, said window-breaker included simultaneously comment on the obvious fact of the librarian's health.

Like a hollow stab to her being (read: pride), Patchouli slumped down in shock. Needless to say, being the "Great Unmoving Library", she always (and only need to) stay in her haven, all necessities ready for her by Sakuya and her assistant devil- Koakuma, a perfect unmoving library fears by all she truly is, probably…

Leaving the poor, negative-faced shut-in aside, the ominous object that has landed in the sacred property of the Scarlet's was no other than Kirisame Marisa- hailed as The Great (lie) Love-coloured Witch, whose clothes are black in complete general, from the pointed witch hat down the laced boots, save for the white sleeves and a detached apron on her chest.

"Shameless and lacking in manner as usual, I see." Remilia disapprovingly shake her head sideways.

"Marisa, I feel sorry for that window. Please just use the front entrance like a normal person." Alice who has been busy comforting Patchouli honestly wants to straighten her friend out.

"Oh, there is a face I didn't expect to see." Marisa gave a quick glance at the devil, "And Alice, if I use the main gate, no doubt will I be able to see your cute face down here, ze!", then launched her flirt straight at the unprepared maiden.

"Wha-?", Alice's porcelain-colored cheeks now become rosy. It worked out just like the witch predicted, alright.

"Heh, that's pleasing to hear, but out of my ears your mellow excuse goes, brat. However, I do wonder how you think you're really safe here? I may let loose your notorious antics since you play a decent role in Flandre's life, yet even if I am so, sadly speaking, I can no longer ignore the number of books you've taken away from our precious library." Her expression turned serious.

To the eternally young scarlet moon, the existence known as Kirisame Marisa was nothing but a slovenly human, an average magician, a brazen thief yet above all, an important playmate for her little sister, Flandre. She noted to herself that this person can get quite atrocious with sheer destructive power alone, though it's still under one's control. What most frightening is the braided blonds' charm. Remilia glances at both Pache and Alice to gauge their expressions. Pache, in full recovery, her eyes speak of certain happiness, however dubious it seems now that she gets to converse with Marisa, while Alice still stiff and awkward, nevertheless look on the brat.

"I totally understand your concern, Remilia! Even so, if something happen to me, Flan will be sad..."

"For once, Remi is right. Return all the books you stole, you stupid rascal!"

"Hey hey, it's not steal. I told you guys before right, it's a permanent loan till the day I die, da-ze!"

"Enough! Alice, help me knock some sense into this idiot's head, will you?"

"If I were an idiot, I wouldn't be able to think up this brilliant plan, hehe~", Marisa wickedly thought.

"So the brat dare say, but how about some internal fracture? At most, if I render your legs useless within my mansion, then Flan won't have to wait for your 'visiting marriage' like some kinds of hopeless romantic everyday.", the ancient vampire put on a sinister grin at Marisa, who quietly stepped back a few inches, but then met with Patchouli's shoulders instead.

"I'm more tempting to say where she learnt that old 'visiting marriage' phrase, but" gulp, Marisa's self-defense mechanism shrunk back from letting those words out of her throat in this dreadful situation.

"Um, I think you guys should cut Marisa some lacks this time, not like intimidation will work on someone like her."

"Sigh, I knew it, you're this brat's ally of justice, aren't you, puppeteer? Must be nice since you have all the due books back last week, right?"

"Huh? H-How did you"

"What? Alice, you got your books back already?", Patchouli was about to enter her second greatest state of shock today.

The dollmaker both frozen and stuttered on the spot, for this was something she wanted to keep to herself.

"I-It's not what you think! I didn't expect Marisa to just return them all back either, but Remilia-san,"

"I have my own sources, of course. Be at ease, I'm not pushing anything on you, it just means that our dear Marisa-chan here is looking down on Pache, going behind her back like some hmm~ what's the word?"

FIRE SIGN: AGNI SHINE!

The flames quickly erupt from within the purple princess body, circling around and growing larger in radius. It threatens to engulf only one target, and that target being the young witch who

"Very well! I'll take you on, Patchouli!" decided to play with the fire, regardless of the consequences.

STAR SIGN: STARDUST REVERIE!

"And that's our cue, puppeteer. Let's move to the living room and enjoy our tea there. Sakuya will be waiting."

Saying, the mischievous lady of the Scarlet household dragged Alice out of the battlefield-to-be library, looking satisfied like she has just accomplished some grand goals.


-Outside the library door-

"You… Was it ok setting them up like that?"

"Who knows? Nobody walks in on my mansion with such a cheeky attitude. Plus, I think I have done Pache a favor. It's a lesson called 'all sweetness and light", puppeteer, which I hope you understand best. Now, hurry up and let's get away from here."

Alice takes a final peek in the door's crack, her face paled in comparison to that of a doll's complexion. She can only pray for Marisa's safety at this point, while amazed at the same time by the manipulative yet no longer in sight Remilia.


Author's note:

"visiting marriage": a marriage when partners don't live together, but the husband "visits" his wife once in a while.

"purple princess": I couldn't help putting it in since I was reading volume 1 "Aoi" of the book "Hikaru ga Chikyuu ni Itakoro" at the time.

I had a fun time with the dialogues, though it took longer than expected. Sorry about that. Next update might be put on-hold for certain weeks (but less than 1 month, I promise!) since I will have to construct the battle scene between those two lunatics (joke), and I suck at writing battle scene...

Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated!