Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Lee and Gaara sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Gaara's POV.

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STIGMA

Quattro

It wasn't difficult to figure why Baki had shown up at Lee's door. I had no reason to believe that Ebizo betrayed our understanding. Baki was an alert man and he had been suspicious of my whereabouts lately. He excused us from Lee and we went downstairs. His car was pulled to the curb. He opened the door to the backseat and ushered me in. I was reluctant to leave without at least giving Lee a proper good-bye. When I protested and refused to get inside the car, Baki simply shoved me in and slammed the door. I could've gotten out if I wanted to, but I understood why he was so concerned. We were in enemy's territory and with the absence of a Hokage, Konoha was in high alert. My visit, however innocent it was, was a threat. Baki stepped hard on the gas pedal and the car sped off back to Suna. I took out my phone to call Lee. Baki braked to reach over and yank the phone out from my hand. He threw it out the window before speeding away again.

I kept my eyes at the direction of Lee's apartment. I wouldn't see him for a long while.

My brief absence went unnoticed in Suna. When we arrived at home, Kankuro was talking vulgarly with his associate about a prostitute he hired last night. The only thing that caught my attention in their conversation was that she was a blonde girl from Konoha. It seemed we shared a similar taste. Konoha people were a different breed than us. There was a hint of grace and elegance about them. Our differences were obvious in the landscape of our cities. Konoha was luscious and bustling while Suna was barren and gloomy. If Konoha was Heaven, then Suna was surely Hell.

Baki and I went to my office. He sat on the lounge chair and lit a cigarette. He was calm and aloof, which made him more frightening. He gestured for me to take my seat, as if he was the boss and I was the mischievous underling. I sat on the executive leather chair that smelled faintly like my father. Baki smothered the smoke in the ashtray and cleared his throat.

"I'm not going tell you what you already know."

Good. I wasn't in the mood for another lengthy lecture about the dangers surrounding me. Baki went to the bar cabinet and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He didn't bother offering me a glass since he knew I didn't drink. He sat back down and placed the glass on the desk. He heaved a sigh and looked at me with disappointment.

"I don't know why you keep seeing that person." There was a hint of speculation in his tone. "But I hope for both of your sake that you realize if your enemies find out about him, what they will do."

I didn't. I didn't realize that I was putting Lee's life in danger by seeing him in Konoha. Now I understood what Kankuro meant when he said, "You can fuck all the Konoha women you want, so long you marry a Suna one." We could protect the ones we love as long as we were in our territory. The problem came when borders were crossed. All is, after all, fair in love and war.

"You are strong, you can survive a broken leg or arm, but can you survive a broken heart?" He leaned over the desk and patted me on the shoulder. "Don't put yourself through that kind of shit." He gulped down the whiskey and left me to think.

I couldn't tell if it was better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all. All I knew, at that moment, was that asking me not to see Lee anymore was impossible. I could survive broken bones, but my already shattered heart could not bear more damage. Despite my devotion, I knew I couldn't abandon my family and elope with Lee. I had more sense that to betray them.

The solution I needed came quickly. If I couldn't go to Lee, then I would bring him to me.

--

That night, Temari had the chef prepared a lavish meal. She had invited a guest over for dinner and wanted the family to look the best. Her guest was a young lady named Matsuri, whom I apparently went to college with. She was petite with a soft face that wasn't too pretty or too plain. She wore a nicely-fit grey dress that flattered her frame. She wasn't particularly a shy girl but didn't talk out of turn. Kankuro tried to hit on her a few times; the man was a hound dog. Temari barked at him to behave. Matsuri only smiled politely and complimented on the food and our house.

Temari was a woman that spoke her mind and liked others knowing what she was thinking. Throughout dinner, she praised Matsuri and asked her to talk about her achievement in college and her goal for the future. Matsuri's dream was to start her own fashion line and Temari was interested in working with her. What my dear sister was more interested in, and that she made no attempt to hide it, was what I thought of her guest. It wasn't long before we all caught onto what she was getting at. The women in the house had an obsession with continuing the family line.

After dinner, I was obliged to entertain Masturi under the instruction of Temari. We had a cup of coffee in the lounge room. I found her to be a good companion: bright, confident, and refined. We talked about our college days and the strange spectrum of professors the university had. The conversation soon led to her past relationships with troubled boyfriends. I had little to offer in that field. The only person I had been with was Lee, and I was certain he was my soulmate.

"I just…I just wish there was someone out there who understands what I'm about. You know what I mean? I want to be appreciated; I don't want to be babied like I'm a five year old."

"I'm sure you will find him. You are a wonderful person and you deserve the best."

Matsuri pushed her hair behind her ear and looked away coyly with a bashful smile on her face. I hadn't intended to flirt with her, but that was how she took it.

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you."

When our coffees were cold and our conversation dwindled down, Temari returned to take Matsuri home. She thanked me for a wonderful time and hoped to see me again in the future. Knowing what Temari was up to, I was sure we would meet again. I went to my room and prepared for the night. I had wanted to call Lee, but I only saved his number in my phone, which was lying broken on a street in Konoha. But since he volunteered at the hospital, I knew I would be able to get his contact information from them. I just had to be patient and waited until Baki lowered his guard. He struck me as the kind of men who would do whatever necessary to protect the good of Suna.

I was reading the newspapers to catch up on the day's events when Temari knocked on my door. Her presence in my room brought back fond memories. When I was a child, Temari would periodically visit me at night to tug me in bed. Sometimes, she would recite a bedtime story that our mother told her from her memory. Her stories were usually jumbled with little plot structure, but I loved listening to them just the same. In her stories, the children rarely had both parents and relied heavily on their siblings support. I used to believe that hers were the real version, but later I realized that she had altered them to comfort me. And because of that, Temari was the only woman I had ever loved.

She walked toward my bed and took a seat on the edge, like the way she used to when she snuck in at night. She didn't go around in circles and went straight to the point. "Matsuri will make a good wife, don't you think?"

My only answer was silence.

"I know you think you're too young to get married, but Gaara, you know how it is. The earlier you settle down the better. There is no telling what'll happen in the future."

"You're afraid I will die."

"I know you'll die, but I hope it'll only be after you've lived a fulfilling life with your wife and children."

I hadn't prepared myself to break the news to Temari. I figured from my lack of interest in relationships and women that she would get the hint. But very often, we choose to believe only those that please us. Temari was in a delusion and it was my duty to wake her from it. There was no point in embellishing the ugly truth; it would only further the damage. I took her hand in mine. Her skin was soft, the result of not having to work a day in her life and expensive lotion.

"Temari, I'm already in love with someone."

"Really? Who? Why haven't you told me about her?" The thrill in her face was almost unbearable to look at. I prepared to stab the knife through her heart.

"I'm in love with a man. His name is Rock Lee. I met him at the hospital four months ago."

If someone had recorded the moment, I could pinpoint the second Temari's world got blown apart. Her jaw dropped. The previous excitement in her eyes vanished, like ice dipped in scolding water. A word lodged in her throat. Her fingers tensed.

"Oh." She pulled her hand away. "That's nice. Good for you, Gaara." She stood up from the bed and backed away.

Out of Temari, Kankuro, and my father, I had expected Temari to welcome my lifestyle choice the most. I had expected her to take the softest blow if she rejected it. But I knew now I was wrong to expect her to understand. She looked as if she had just discovered a bloody corpse in the house: speechless, unfocused, and utterly disgusted.

"I-I… Good. Good night." She headed for the door and disappeared from my sight. The door slammed hard behind her.

I could only hope that she would learn to accept me. I had no intention of coming out to Kankuro; I could imagine his reaction and didn't ever want it to materialize. The men didn't need to know it either. If people were to find out my sexuality, Suna and I would be the laughing stock of the underworld. I had already embarrassed my family enough by not pursuing after Orochimaru; they didn't need to know that I planned to spend my life with another man. I turned off the light and tried to sleep. I wondered what Lee was doing. I wondered if my mother would mind that I loved an man. I already knew that my father would be sorely disappointed and furious if he was still alive. Or perhaps, he was rolling in his grave.

Amidst the chaos of the day, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't called Ebizo. I hoped he wasn't still waiting around the block to pick me up.

--

Boyue's Note: Since Gaara's world is full of bloodshed and violence, I decide to illustrate his relationship with Lee in a more positive light to show that Lee is pretty much the only beautiful thing in his life. So, please, excuse the fluff.

Reviews are much loved.

11.16.08

2.16 AM