Disclaimer: I don't own Saint Seiya characters!
Author's Note: Chapter made with a big help of my dear friend, Nica-Angel. Thank you, dear!
His World of the Forgiveness
When Kanon, the younger Gemini Saint of Athena opened his dark eyes, his body was in an enormous pain. His head was hurt, his neck was hurt and his limbs were hurt. He had no idea what happened to him in the last hours, but it had to be really awful. And moreover his mind was suffering too. He knew that something bad happened a few hours ago but he couldn't remember it too well.
However, Kanon was sure everything was connected to his lover, Milo.
He sat down on the bed, looking carefully around, trying to figure out where he was. The painful spasm gasped his whole body, causing him to moan loudly. It was so tremendous feeling, that for a while he wasn't able to move, breathe and see. Even his ears were causing him pain, for a moment they were full of a high sound that was piercing through his brain.
When everything turned to normal, Kanon looked carefully over his whole body. He saw a few holes on his clothes, holes stained by his blood. He… he remembered this kind of wounds…
"Already back to your senses? I thought I hit you hard enough to being unconsciousness for more hours…" the former Sea Dragon heard the voice of his brother.
Saga, the Gold Saint of the Third Temple, was standing in the entrance to the bedroom, looking at his twin with worry on his face.
"Hit me…?" murmured Kanon, grabbing his head and trying to get rid of the pain by massaging his temples. It didn't work.
"You seem to not remember anything that happened a few hours ago…" sighed Saga. "And I'm not sure if you should remember it now, in your state…"
The second twin looked at him angrily.
"Tell me. Now. I know it's concerning Milo. I'm recognizing these wounds. They are from his Scarlet Needle."
Saga sighed deeply.
"As you wish," he murmured, still looking at his twin and feeling guilt. "After you went the second time to the Scorpio Temple yesterday, to talk with Milo, you returned from there, and not telling anything you disappeared for a whole night."
Kanon nodded. He was slowly remembering what happened yesterday. Yes, he went to see his lover again, but Milo wasn't in his own Temple. The Gemini found him inside Camus' domain, doing with his friend something Kanon desired to forget now, when he just remembered it.
"And I supposed you went to the city to drink as much alcohol as you were able to absorb."
The former Sea Dragon remembered it as well. When he was affected by the liquor he returned to the training fields to smash a few boulders. He looked at his hands. They were bandaged already but he could feel the pulsing pain in them too. He sighed deeply. Suddenly, all memories came back to him.
"Shit!" He coursed under his nose. Saga looked at him with surprise. "Shit!" Kanon repeated, grabbing his hair and almost pulling them out of his skin. "Shit!"
"What's wrong?"
"I remember it now… I said it was his fault… I wished him to die…" murmured Kanon, lowering his hands, now fisted.
"Yes, you did. But then he almost killed you," said Saga, trying to make his voice harsh. But in fact now he felt guiltier than before. The state of his brother was hurting him a little. Maybe it was the time to…
Kanon sighed.
"Yes, I know. But don't you think that I deserved it a little? After all if we didn't do that to him, then maybe it wouldn't end like this?"
The elder Gemini Saint snorted.
"Just because we did it to him it doesn't excuse all of his actions, Kanon. He shouldn't attack you with his Scarlett Needle, he didn't acted like a Gold Saint. I'm sure if I wouldn't be here you would be dead."
Kanon nodded weakly, looking at his brother with sorrowful eyes. Saga couldn't stand that look; it was telling him that he would happily die from Milo's hands.
"But… You were right," he announced to the younger twin. "The most of it was my fault."
Saga sighed and looked into the now surprised eyes of Kanon.
"This… I…" How he should tell everything to his brother? "I joined your game yesterday with other purpose that having fun with the two of you."
"What do you mean?"
"I wanted to achieve something else. I wanted you two to break up once and for all."
"Huh?! What the fuck are you saying right now, Saga?" If his body wasn't in that pitiful state he would be standing right now in the front of his brother, trying to rip out the answers of his body. "Why?"
"I'm not sure… You know, Kanon… He," Saga pointed at his head, "he is still here somewhere. My other self. I can feel him."
"So what?"
"That moment, when I saw you two starting your games… it was like he thought it would be really good to mess finally with your relationship."
Kanon snorted.
"So, you are telling me, that your evil self, that should be dead right now, forced you to create this situation between me and Milo?" Right now Kanon wanted to punch him really hard.
"I never said that he is dead. And he didn't force me to do anything. He just sent me that thought, and I used it an instant. I thought it would help me with something."
"Why? What for, Saga? You know that I love Milo, right?"
The elder Saint nodded his blue-haired head.
"Then? Tell me!"
"Because I wanted you to be only mine…"
The former Sea Dragon gasped with the surprise. He couldn't believe his own ears.
"Ugh, Saga, you are disgusting! We are brothers!"
Now it was Saga who gasped, surprised. Now, when he analyzed his words and actions… Yeah, it seemed like that…
"No! I mean, not in that way, Kanon. I'm not interested with your body. Just mind…"
"Even so! Saga! You are bastard! I'm not your toy, or something! Milo is not your toy also! How could you…!?"
"I know…"
"Shut up! I have not finished yet! You did it just because you wanted me to be more concerned about you? You selfish bastard! Then, maybe you will tell me that you just used your Genrō Maō Ken to manipulate Milo, so he landed in the Aquarius' bed!?"
Saga closed his eyes, avoiding the look of his younger brother. Then, he nodded.
"I affected him with it when we were… taking his body… And I affected you too. That you ignored him, when he was telling you to stop… It wasn't too hard to use it against you; I just influenced your mind a little bit… I had to make sure you wouldn't stop our fun until we finish. I had to prevent you from this, because I knew you would stop if he would ask." Finally, he said it. The guilt was killing him. Kanon was suffering because of the guilt he felt right now, Milo was suffering more because of being raped by his lover. Nothing was as he planned.
Kanon growled like a wild animal. Despite the whole pain he was feeling, he jumped out of the bed and grabbed Saga's throat.
"You…!" Kanon wasn't sure, what he should say now. His brother, his twin, just admitted he controlled Milo's and his own minds just because he felt ignored by his brother. It was such a crazy situation, that the former Sea Dragon didn't know what to do. "I hate you, Saga. I really hate you! You are always standing in my way, always doing painful things to me. I hate you!" Kanon whispered, trying to make himself to tighten his fingers more around Saga's throat.
"I bet you do, Kanon…" answered the elder twin, looking into the angry eyes, seeing this hatred inside them. Shit, he messed everything again. Now even if he would explain to Kanon everything, his brother still would try to kill him. "But don't think the entire fault is mine. I never planned this to turn into a rape. I wanted you to break up, so I used the opportunity. All I was expecting was the disgust that Milo should feel after having sex with the two of us. And feel angry towards you, because you allowed that. Then he should have to end up in Camus' bed. That's all. I never suspected that you would come up with the idea of taking him at the same time as me. It wasn't planned. But when I realized that Milo was suffering, it was too late already. I couldn't stop myself mostly because he was pushing me forward…"
"You excuses are pathetic, Saga! You are blaming me for your own evilness…"
"No, my evil soul is only mine, even if it was you, who woke it up inside me in the first place. Like I said, it was your idea to take Milo's body at the same time when I was doing it. If you wouldn't do that, then maybe he wouldn't think about it as a rape. Well, it is my fault for bringing us to that state, when we couldn't stop, but don't think you are so innocent, Kanon."
"Shut up, Saga! I know it! I know I hurt him also, but I don't want to hear it from you!"
Kanon snorted under his nose, loosening his grip, and then completely letting Saga go. He tried to pass him.
"Where are you going, Kanon?"
"Not your business, bastard. I have to see Milo."
"Don't be stupid. In that condition you will never make it to the destination."
"Fuck you, Saga."
"Besides he is out of his Temple right now," added the elder Gemini, looking at Kanon's effort to walk away from the chamber.
The former Sea Dragon took a look at him with the distrust.
"Out? What do you mean by that?"
"Exactly that. He is out. Milo left a few hours ago."
"Then where he is now?"
"I have no idea."
Kanon snorted under his nose and returned to the bed, assuming that it would be the best he could do for now, when he didn't know where his lover was. Saga sighed, remembering that moment, when Milo appeared inside the Gemini Temple again. The blue-haired man had an empty expression on his face and his Scorpio Gold Cloth covering his muscular body.
"So…" started Saga back then, staring carefully at the young man in the front of him. "You returned to fight…"
Milo took an emotionless look at his face.
"No," he answered. "I just want to pass. Only that."
And not waiting for the approval of the Temple's guardian, he passed through the Gemini's domain. Now Saga really didn't have the knowledge about where he was.
"Get out." Saga heard the harsh voice of his brother.
The elder Saint sighed quietly, turned away and left the lying man, wondering how he could turn everything back.
Kanon, hearing the receding steps of his brother, was wondering just about the same. Everything was so messed now, his lover, Milo, left him particularly because of the selfishness of Saga. His stupid brother caused so many problems, controlling the mind of the Scorpio just like a toy! He couldn't believe it, and he couldn't forgive Saga! Now there is no certainty that Milo would come back to him after all explanations! Now Milo would hate him for all eternity. And probably he would accept the relationship with the Aquarius Gold Saint!
What now? What should he do? For many years, he was alone, firstly as a shadow of his powerful brother, then locked up by Saga in the Sunion Prison to die and at last as a man who tried to deceive Poseidon. Lady Athena forgave him his own stupidity and after the Holy War, the Scorpio was the first person who offered him a hand. Thanks to Milo he finally felt like he wasn't alone, he filled his long days with talk and with his bright presence, and after a few weeks, he filled even his nights with this warmth. It was making Kanon really happy; he felt that finally he could live.
But now… everything just disappeared… because of Saga.
Kanon bit his lower lip, hoping that it is not too late for turning everything back. He whished Milo wouldn't hate him, because if he turned away from him, he would be truly alone again…
Milo wasn't sure, why he put his Gold Cloth in the first place. Actually he was wearing it rarely, usually while the regular meetings with the Pope and Lady Athena or performing his missions. But during the common day in the Sanctuary, walking around the Temples or observing the trainees he just was using some ordinary clothes. And besides, in the Sanctuary, the weather was almost always really hot, and the layer of the Gold armor worked as an oven whet it was worn for too long.
But after he returned from the Gemini Temple, feeling like his world came to its end finally, he thought it would be better to put his Cloth on his body. He just felt safer with it, he felt like everything was gonna by fine just by wearing it in the full glare of the sun. He just wanted to believe that everything was just an awful dream; all these few past days were just a nightmare that never happened in the real life. And he, Milo, wasn't raped by his lover and Saga, that Camus was still in the Sanctuary, not in the cold Siberia, and he just didn't put Kanon's life in danger a while ago. His Gold Cloth helped him, with convincing a little his own mind.
In an almost self-destructing act, he entered Camus' domain again, only hopping that his friend would still be there, waiting for him with his cold but thoughtful smile. He almost could feel the familiar, icing cosmo, waiting in the depths of the Temple, inviting him. However, the first moment, his foot stepped into the shadows of the Aquarius Temple, Milo felt that no one was there. The Eleventh Sacred Building of the Sanctuary was empty, but not in the way "when the Guardian just took a walk around the Holy Land". It was empty in the way "when the Guardian left this place for a long time". The Scorpio sighed painfully at this first proof that everything wasn't a nightmare. He clenched his fists a few times, still standing at the front of Camus' Temple, feeling like his mind was starting to hurt. He couldn't believe his best friend, Camus, was really far away from the sunny Sanctuary.
After a long while, he turned away. He had nothing to do here, when Camus wasn't around. But he didn't want to sit inside his own Temple, so empty and quiet without Kanon. So he passed through his own domain, heading to the first Temple on these sacred hills.
The meeting with Saga dispelled his hopes definitely. The look of the Third Guardian told him that yes, a few minutes ago he, Scorpio Milo, heard the terrible words of Kanon and almost ended his life with his own Needle. Trying to not cry with the desperation, he quickly passed the Temple and as fast as he was able, he just left the hills behind his back, heading to no one knew where.
Only his Gold Cloth was giving him some comfort. It was good to walk around the Sanctuary with his Golden Armor of the Scorpio, when the sunbeams were deflected off of the metal. It wasn't erasing his sad thoughts, but it filled him with the confidence to walk and to live, at last apparently.
"Master Milo!" he heard in the middle of his thinking. He looked around carefully and saw that while being engrossed by the vision of the tragic future, his legs led him to the training area. Milo saw the four youngsters running and waving to him with the smiles on their faces. His own protégés he took care over a year ago. "Master Milo!"
He walked over them, smiling as well. They were really cheerful kids that came here by their own from Poland, after their parents were killed during the Holy War. He really liked these kids, so determined with claiming a Cloth, full of the spirit and reminding him his own childhood. Then, seeing their exhausted faces after the long and dangerous trip, how could he not take them under his care?
Finally the kids reached him, and Milo saw inside their eyes the admiration.
"Master Milo, it is really wonderful to see you in your Gold Cloth!" said the oldest boy from the four. He was good trainee and actually Milo was wondering if he should already test him.
Milo chuckled under his nose. He rarely was wearing his Gold Cloth on the training areas, so he wasn't surprised about their admiration over the Armor. They weren't seeing it too often.
"Are you going for a mission again, Master Milo?" asked the only girl in this group that beside her young age was already as powerful as the oldest boy.
The others groaned with disappointment.
"We though you would watch over our training today…" murmured the girl. "It's been a while since you did it…"
Milo frowned. It was true; lately he had not much time to watch over their training. A few months ago he was with them every day, what was happening to him?
"I have a few businesses to take care of now. But I promise, next week I will watch over you every day, right?"
All the four of them smiled.
"Then go back to your field, brats!"
They saluted vigorously, turned around and run away, with wide smiles.
The Scorpio sighed deeply, sadly. He was an awful teacher, leaving them on their own again. But at this moment he had no choice but to refuse. His head was full of shadows so he wouldn't have the proper attention. Today they will have to train by their own again…
When the big orange sun reached the horizon Milo could be found only in one place. It was a hill, almost at the boundary of the Sanctuary, ending with the stony cliff falling down really deeply, surrounded by many other cliffs. The hill he was standing had an apple tree and a perfect view at the sunset. It was a place known only by a few Saints, but it was just him who liked to come here and watch the approaching night, since his early childhood. And it was the place where he and Kanon had their first kiss, after Milo showed to the former Sea Dragon such a beautiful hill.
Now the Scorpio Saint was sitting there, resting against the big apple tree, still with his Armor covering his body and looking at the blue sky above his head. He was thinking over a few hours already, supporting his thoughts with the bottle of the wine he bought in the nearest village just before coming to that wonderful place. Actually he shouldn't drink while wearing his armor, for him it was the similarity to betray of his proud name as the Scorpio Gold Saint, but when he reached his beloved hill, with the bottles of the wine, he was mentally too tired to take it off. For him, taking off his armor was like leaving the safer place of the world.
So he just sat down, only taking off his helmet, opening the first bottle of the wine and after a few first sips he started to think.
Actually, now he knew very well why Camus left the Sanctuary at this morning. At the beginning Milo wasn't paying attention to the reason that he had at his hands. Kanon said it many moths ago, that Camus had really strong emotions towards him. Of course, when Milo heard it for the first time he laughed. It was obvious Camus had strong feelings for him; after all they were friends since their childhood.
But now… His thinking was different. He realized that for some time Camus was looking at him more warmly every time Milo was visiting him alone. But when he was seeing Milo with Kanon, talking or kissing, his expression changed. It seemed like he was hurt. The Scorpio Saint understood it just now, when he analyzed everything.
And this night… Camus approved Milo's game; he had fun with him in a really intimate way. If Camus was feeling for Milo only these feelings of a friend then he should stop Milo at the beginning, before everything became so pleasurable and sensitive.
Shit, these hurt eyes, when Milo told him that he still loved Kanon… The Scorpio Saint still could see them inside his mind. It was really painful. It shouldn't end like that.
Well, he should not allow this to happen. He should realize everything sooner, before Camus deepened his emotions. Yes, of course, he, Milo of the Scorpio felt towards Camus something more too; after all he always desired to kiss the Aquarius. But… but…
He was so confused. He didn't know what to do. Now, Camus was in Siberia, far, far away from him, probably still in the mental pain of being rejected by Milo and still loving him; Kanon by his own hand was facing the terror of being hit by the Scarlet Needle. And he, Milo, was suffering of being ignored by his lover, raped by him, and the guilt for destroying whatever beautiful relation he had with his best friend.
He always thought that being with Kanon was making them happy. He knew that the former Sea Dragon had many sins, but also he had the past filled with the loneliness. When they were given the second life as the Saints of Athena, Milo thought it would be good to show Kanon the other way of living. The life on the company of friends. And they ended as lovers. It was fine for Milo, he felt happy of giving this happiness to the second Gemini. But was it just a mirage? Was Kanon still the same person who wanted to end Athena's life? Was he just a deceitful man who always was ready to hurt? Now he wasn't sure if he did the right thing to trust Kanon. Maybe he should be with Camus…?
He really didn't know what he should do.
His world just came to the end.
The second bottle of the wine was almost empty, when Milo heard the uncertain steps behind the big tree. He looked away meeting the blue eyes of his lover.
"Milo…" the Gemini whispered with the face of a person who was sentenced to the death, full of shame and regret. "May I?" he pointed at the place beside the Scorpio.
Milo's heart twitched. The hate mixed with the guilt when he was looking at him. He could see all the holes from his Scarlet Needle, but he also still remembered what Kanon had done to him. He still could remember the pain accompanying of being betrayed. It was something he wouldn't forget so easily. He took a long sip of wine and nodded, expecting nothing good. He knew that if Kanon would say something bad, even Athena wouldn't stop him from killing the younger Gemini.
The former Sea Dragon sat down with a painful sigh, caught one of the remaining bottles, opened it and drank.
"I know that you don't want to hear what I need to say right now, Milo," Kanon started, observing a lonely cloud on the darkening night. "Any words can't turn everything back to what it supposed to be… But I want you to listen a little."
Milo looked at him feeling the twitch of the anger inside his mind. He decided right now, that he didn't trust his ability to speak, only nodding.
"Saga told me, that everything he did was on purpose. I mean, when he joined us. I'm not excusing myself, I just ignored you back then, but if Saga didn't want to have sex with us, it wouldn't happen."
"So?" murmured Milo. His voice was cold and harsh like never before. So what if Kanon ignored him back then? Even if Saga wouldn't do such a thing it would happen anyway. Someday.
"He also did something else," continued Kanon, taking a few sips of the wine. "He used his Genrō Maō Ken against you and me."
The bottle form Milo's hand just fell to the ground, spilling the liquor.
"What are you talking about?!"
"He used it against me, so I ignored your begging, he make me to not hear your plea of stopping. He used it against you, so you did with Camus what you did. Everything was because of Saga."
Milo gasped. So, if Saga wouldn't join their fun, Milo wouldn't hurt his best friend? Shit!
"But why? Why he did that?"
Kanon chuckled.
"Because he is just a freakin' bastard, Milo. I'm not sure myself why. He just said, he wanted us to break up"
"That's all? It is not enough to rape someone!"
"Yes, but it is all what I know. He didn't explain every detail about his actions. If you want, just ask yourself, maybe he would be more honest with you than me. But I can say one thing: The idea of the two of us entering at the same time… it was only mine. Saga only manipulated my conscience for to not stop when you begged me to. And this morning… When I said you should die… I have no excuse for that. Yes, I was drunk, but even so I shouldn't say it. It is always like that, maybe because for too long time I was an evil being. But when I'm thinking I'm the hurt one, I always wish the worst for someone who caused me that pain. In some corner of my mind I considered myself as a hurt one, because I couldn't forget that image of you being in Camus' bed. But it is still no excuse for saying such cruel words."
For a while they were just drinking the wine, looking at the disappearing sun. And then Kanon put away the bottle, kneeled down in the front of Milo and bowed his head.
"Milo, I'm begging you for your forgiveness," he whispered with the trembling voice. "It doesn't matter what Saga did, I was just too weak if he was able to affect me. I'm weak…" he added. "I know I hurt you, Milo, and I know you can't stand to look at my face. I'm ashamed of myself. But I'm begging you, Milo. Please, forgive me…" he cried loudly.
Milo never expected to see Kanon begging for the forgiveness. He never thought Kanon would cry in front of him, kneeling down, and admitting his own weakness.
"Please, don't hate me," Kanon added, crying. But he knew that Milo would hate him for the rest of the life; after all, Kanon's crime was too big to be forgiven. It really didn't matter, that Saga affected his mind. Who knows, maybe someday he would hurt Milo as much as yesterday, but in a different way? "But if you don't want to forgive me, then please, kill me now, with your Antares, because I don't want to be alone again for the rest of my life…"
Milo gasped in surprise. Finally Kanon faced the truth. He understood how much pain he caused the Scorpio. And Milo knew he was begging for the forgiveness from the bottom of his heart. He was able to feel the truth in Kanon's cosmo, so he believed his words. But could everything be back to normal after all these things that happened?
"Kanon…" the Scorpio started. The former Sea Dragon twitched, hearing the harsh voice of his companion. He clenched his fists knowing, yes knowing that he lost. Milo never would forgive him for what he did to him. He knew that the wound was too deep, so he would die right now. But he didn't mind. He agreed to be killed by his love. "Kanon, don't think that I would forget about everything so easily. I understand that most of it was caused by Saga, but I can't forget. I can't hate you Kanon, because I still love you. But for forgiveness it is still too early. These memories, this pain, are still too fresh."
Kanon raised his head, not believing in these words. The hope wasn't lost.
"But I don't want to see you for a while. I don't want to talk with you. I feel disgusted while looking at you, Kanon. It is too strong for now, so just get out of my sight. When I will be ready to talk with you, maybe then you could beg for my forgiveness. Now just be glad, that I can't hate you… that now, I don't want to kill you."
The Gemini nodded quietly, feeling relief and hope. If Milo said he didn't hate him, then maybe someday he would forgive Kanon about this miserable situation. He stood up, taking one last look inside the bright and sharp blue eyes, turned away and left the pretty hill, bathed with the orange, soft sunbeams.
Milo sighed deeply with relief. When Kanon sat down beside him, he was expecting something really bad, something that would bury everything definitely. He wasn't expecting Kanon to beg for his forgiveness. This sight surprised him the most: usually the Gemini Saint was to prideful for begging for anything, but now… It seemed that Kanon felt desperate guilt, if he bowed before the Scorpio. It seemed that finally, Milo wasn't just a toy for Kanon to play with, when he wanted to.
But… Kanon's explanations didn't fix one problem.
Camus.
Now, that Milo knew that almost everything was Saga's fault he felt a little better. After all, he wouldn't do with Camus what they had done without the Gemini's suggestion. He wouldn't hurt him so badly, just from the start of it!
But now, Milo knew what he should do. He had to go to Camus and explain everything. Explain and apologize. And he should get the Aquarius back to the Sanctuary. That rape, even if forced by all the circumstances, was still hurting him and he wanted to forget about it. But to do it, he needed his friend. He needed Camus, his soul needed Camus, and his mind needed Camus.
And he knew that Camus needed him too right now.
He had to get him back.
The Aquarius never thought that someone would visit him the first night after he returned to his small, familiar hut in the middle of the cold Siberia. The nearest village was many kilometers away and he didn't think that someone accidentally saw him here at the morning. Of course it could be someone lost, who just knocked the door of the first hut he saw for help. But Camus didn't know how he could help. This hut was deserted by many months; there was no food, and not enough wood to warm anyone.
But of course, when he just heard the knocking, at the middle of the night, he just opened the door.
For a while he though he was still dreaming.
"Milo?"
The trembling Scorpio smiled to him widely waiting for the invitation to the small hut.
"May I come in, Camus?"
"Of course you can."
The blue-haired man entered quickly into Camus' domain, hoping that there will be warmer. How Camus could love this place with its darn cold climate was beyond his imagination.
"What are you doing here, Milo? I though you don't like be here since there is so cold," murmured Camus. After the first surprise his voice became cold again. Milo heard that change as well.
With the long sigh Milo sat down the couch and looked inside the dark, blue eyes that were as cold and emotionless like yesterday.
"I wanna tell you something, if you have the willing to listen to me, Camus."
The Aquarius stopped near the window, looking at the white snow outside. He nodded.
"Firstly I have to apologize to you, Camus. For my stupidity. Because I never saw how warmly you were looking at me for all these years. I know that you have much stronger emotions towards me than a friend should have."
Camus snorted loudly.
"You are here just to tell me something like that? You are wasting your time, Milo."
The Scorpio smiled painfully. He hoped that it would be easier.
"I'm here to explain everything. I want to explain why everything happened."
Camus looked at him coldly. Milo sighed and started the story.
"Yesterday, when you left the Sanctuary, I hid myself on the hill with that apple tree. This day was the biggest failure for me; I just wanted to forget about everything. And it was almost sunset when Kanon showed himself," Milo saw the twitch of Camus' body when he mentioned the Gemini. "I know what you would say right now, Camus, but I had to listen to him. He came to explain everything. And to beg for my forgiveness."
Camus turned away his sight from Milo. He didn't expect this to happen so soon.
"I didn't forgive him yet, if you are worrying about that. You know very well, that I'm not a man who could forgive a rape so easily. But it is not the main part of this story. He said something that made me froze. The reason why Kanon didn't stop, when I begged for it, was Saga."
"What do you mean?" Camus looked at him with the surprise.
"Saga used his Genrō Maō Ken to manipulate his mind, so Kanon didn't hear my pleas. What's more, he used it against me, so the first thing I did after the rape was to making love with you. It was Saga; he set everything to make me and Kanon to break up."
Camus sighed quietly.
"And how do you know that Kanon didn't create this story so you would forgive him instantly? I wouldn't be surprised if he used a lie to convince you, Milo."
"I thought about it too. But when Kanon was telling me that, he was allowing me to touch his cosmo. There was no lie inside his soul; he really regrets what he had done. Of course, I'm still mad at Kanon, but now I'm not sure if I do not hate Saga more than anyone else. He used so low trick to separate us, to cause this pain to me and to you. I just want to kill him right now! Well… I would kill them both, like I said, I'm still angry at Kanon, he first had to atone his sin."
Camus sighed deeply. If Kanon was telling the truth, then the mastermind of this situation was Saga. But why the most reliable Saint in the Sanctuary, one of the most powerful and the one who now was valuing his friends so much, did such a horrible thing? He spent with the elder Gemini many hours with talking and he knew that Saga was a good man, then why he committed such a crime against his fellow?
"So… It was Saga…" murmured Camus, wondering what was in the elder twin's mind.
"You understand it right? That if Saga wouldn't interfere anything would happen. I wouldn't leave Kanon, I would never do this to you at that night."
"So?" Camus clenched his fingers on his own arm, almost digging his nails into his body. It hurt him. All these words of Milo.
"So'? Camus, it changed everything. You can come back to Sanctuary…"
"No, Milo," Camus interrupted. "It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make us forget."
Camus turned to him and looked inside Milo's bright, blue eyes.
"Yes, I'm feeling something more for you, Milo. Like you said, you know it now. But after the hope you gave me two days ago and then after your retreat… How could you think everything is back to normal, Milo? You said you still love Kanon, even if you won't forgive him so easily. That means your heart still belongs to him. I can't turn back, because I couldn't stand to look at you and Kanon, with you forgiving him and leaving me behind. If you still love him, then there is no place for me. Like I said, I'm staying here for the rest of my life."
He didn't add that it was also painful.
"He raped you and still, you are ready to forgive him…" Camus added after a while.
"He already begged me for the forgiveness for this rape, Camus. But no, I'm not ready to do it. I won't forgive him so easily and quickly. Someday I probably would do that, but now he had to wait. Maybe, forever. And Camus… I need you. I need my cold friend now…"
"Milo. Stop. I know you need me right now. And I'm ashamed of myself for leaving you alone. But I won't turn back. I would feel used by you this time. Because now you are aware what I feel towards you, and you are ready to take more from me. Well, that's what the friends are for, but it is painful. I would help you with dealing with your own pain, but when you finally forgive Kanon, I would be left. No, Milo, I won't agree to that. It is enough for me."
Milo sighed deeply.
"Sorry Camus, I again turned to be an ignorant," he murmured, standing up and approaching his friend. "I'm really sorry, I was ready to use you shamelessly. But I hope someday you will go back to the sun, Camus" Milo added, stretching his hand and touching Camus hair. "We can't be lovers for now. Like you said, my heart belongs to Kanon even now." Camus twitched, hearing these words. "I'm not sure if I'm able to forgive him, but if I don't, then we could try..."
The sudden drop of the temperature told him, that something was wrong. Camus' eyes turned to ice, his cosmo enraged in the matter of seconds. The Aquarius lost his usual temper.
"Milo, don't you dare to treat me as a replacement. Ever," he whispered with the hurt voice.
The Scorpio gasped, surprised. He never saw his friend in that state. He even didn't know what he should do.
"Camus, I…" what he should say now? He bit his lip and did one thing he though that could calm Camus.
Milo hugged his best friend, praying to Athena for luck.
"Forgive me, Camus…" he whispered into Camus' ear. "I'm such an ignorant…"
For a while the Aquarius didn't answered.
"Just get out, Milo. I don't want to see your face."
The Scorpio sighed and nodded. Then he placed the last warm kiss on the cold lips of Camus, turned away and left the small hut with its owner.
