A/N: I want to thank all who clicked follow or favorite. That's means you like it! Yay! And special thanks to those who took time to review. *Virtual hugs for you guys*
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I hope this list will get longer. So, I dedicate this all to you guys!
Chapter Three
As the words spit out of my mouth and rest in the stale, crusty air, I hear the click at the end of the phone. All the hope I silently, secretly withstand whisked away from me. Sighing, I already guessed the outcome. Why be surprised?
Even though I knew it was a long shot, I still feel the twinge in my heart as I realize my own mother has given up on me. It never has changed over the past years.
I blink back ferociously the tears that threaten to spill. I press the end of the phone and bring it down to the cold tile floor. I rub my eyes as if I was waking up from a dream and wiping the sleep away.
A soft knock snaps me back to reality. My hands slip from the phone and I scramble to my feet. I quickly turn the faucet on and let the water gush out. "Katniss?" Peeta calls over the roaring water. He knocks again. The doorknob twists and turns but I had locked it ahead of time.
My pulse quickens. My eyes dart around the bathroom. How much had he heard? If Peeta ever found out, he would never forgive me.
"Stay calm," I scold myself.
I am Katniss Everdeen. I am twenty three years old. I have lost everything except for Peeta and Haymitch. I won the rebellion. I'm happily married to Peeta Mellark, the boy I love. And yet, I made an incredulous mistake. I am now terrified and pregnant. A horrible mix.
"Katniss, what's going on in there?" Peeta demands. His innocent tone shrivels up.
"Um," I croak out. I clear my throat and brush back my hair. "Nothing!" I call out. "I just needed to cool myself down!"
"In the middle of winter?" Peeta questions, suspiciousness lacing in his tone.
I silently curse myself for being so flawed. I kick the phone under the shower curtain and yank the handle attached to the faucet close to my body, shushing the freezing water. I fiddle with my fingers as I slowly pace around in the bathroom.
I hear Peeta sigh.
"Haymitch is here!" he announces. "And he won't leave until you come out." I hear his heavy footsteps tugging back to the kitchen. Suddenly a broader, crude fist pounds on the door.
"Katniss, get your ass out here." Haymitch shouts. I quickly scuffle to the door, unlatch the lock, and drag him in. he staggers in, toppling into the bathtub. He rubs the back of his cranium and growls.
"You didn't tell him, did you?" I hiss, slamming the bathroom door.
"No!" he growls.
"Good," I sigh, relieved.
"But I outta." He retorts bitterly.
"Haymitch," it was my turn to growl at him. My left eye begins to twitch.
Haymitch's breathing is heavy. He thinks about it. Finally he responds. "Fine," he agrees. "I won't tell dearest Peeta. But you will."
I shake my head. "That won't be necessary." I say, helping him up.
"Why not?" He raises a suspicious, thick brow.
I silently unlock the door. I crack it open to hear Peeta bustling in the kitchen, washing pots and pans. A soft, melodic tune drifts in the air. I also hear the rushing water from the faucet in the kitchen. I step out and tiptoe to the bedroom we share. I motion for Haymitch to follow. He saunters behind me with a lazy stride. I haul him in the bedroom quicker. I grab my jacket and zip it up. "It won't be necessary." I remark.
"I get that sweetheart, but you haven't told me why!" Haymitch snaps, annoyed.
I open the bedroom door. Craning my head back, I give him a serious glance. "Because, I'm getting an abortion, right now," I latch onto his wrist. "And you're coming with me."
Haymitch recoils his wrist with a tug. "Oh no, sweetheart." He denies. "I don't want to be in the middle of this." He rudely pushes me out of the way and goes into the kitchen. "Peeta!" he exclaims. I suck in my breath. I hear the scraping of a wooden chair leg going across the floor. "Have any scotch?" I hear Haymitch ask. Peeta laughs and replies. I hear a slight bottle being popped open and a crystal glass being set on the counter.
Exhaling my breath, I casually strode through the kitchen. Haymitch holds the glass in the air and props it down to his lips. Peeta chuckles and wipes the dish he was cleaning. The finished cake was sitting on the table, glistening. I marvel at how beautifully structured it had become.
I didn't notice Peeta circling the counter and coming to me. He drapes his hands around my waist and romantically sways me. Haymitch pretends to gag.
A faint smile blossoms as Peeta's fingers press lightly on my waist. It makes me feel alive and not scared. And that was the reason there wasn't a battle or tinge of reluctance that night I opened up to him, let him see all the faults of me, let him love me.
My eyes inspect the kitchen as he gently hums a classical tune and patently sways me. They land on Haymitch's disapproving glower. The happiness fades away. I slip away from Peeta's grasp and walk to the door. "I need to take care of some business." I say ambiguously, reaching for the doorknob.
"Maybe I could come?" Peeta insists.
I shake my head. "No, it's fine." I leave him silenced and confused when I open the door and prepare to march out. I stop abruptly and lose my breath. My hands fall limply to my side. "Mother?" I gasp incredulously.
There she awkwardly stood with red cheeks, a healthy glow. Her blonde hair was pinned into a neat bun. Her eyes didn't seem dull and morose. She had a small smile. But most of all, she didn't look like she was starving. Her hand, curled into a fist, is slightly raised, ready to knock.
Knocking down the suspicion, I engulf my mother into a hug. She is stunned, as am I. But she relaxes and hugs me back.
"Ms. Everdeen." Peeta says politely. He shows no astonishment. He has a kind, caring smile and welcomes her. "It's great to see you so beautiful and healthy." He compliments nicely.
I pull away from my mother. She opens her mouth to reply to Peeta's comments, but I pull her outside. We walk outside in the snow for a long time in silence. Not one of us has the nerve to speak.
"Does he know?" my mother exhales with a dreadful look in her eyes.
"No." I whisper.
"And will he ever know?"
"No."
"Katniss," my mother halts.
I stop too.
"He really needs to know. It can't just be a lone decision. It could get ugly if he finds out." My mother warns me.
"He won't!" I bark. I try to soften up. "Did you come here to help me or not?" Apparently trying to become softer isn't in me.
"No." My mother replies shortly, curtly.
"Then why are you here?"
"To try to change your mind." My mother grips my hands. She stares into my gray eyes. I avoid hers. I swallow the bulgy lump in the back of my throat.
"Well I won't change my mind." I say icily.
"Katniss,"
I slip my hands free and continue walking.
"If he finds out, it could ruin your marriage!" my mother shouts.
I keep staring ahead of me.
"Katniss Everdeen!"
I whirl around. "Stop!" I screech over her. "This is my decision! If you didn't come here to help me, then go!"
My mother huffs.
"I'm serious." I growl. "Just leave! I'll find another way." I continue to march on, reaching near the district's central area. Few people were walking around. Only two kids skated on the thick ice. The local hospital was around the corner.
I don't hear footsteps following me. But as I reach nearer to the hospital, it dawns on me. My mother could easily still prevent this. She could run back urgently to the house and confide Peeta on my next actions.
I turn around and sprint back. I jump over the few obstacles that stood in my way and catch up to my mother as she climbs up the steps. I shove her out of the way. She collides in the wooden bench. It collapses.
"Katniss," she groans, rubbing her head.
"You can't tell Peeta." I say, panting.
"I can, and I will." She retorts.
I desperately look around at my surroundings. I need to come up with a plan to stop her. I need her to leave again. Suddenly, having to squint, I make out Greasy Sae coming from the Hob. She holds a pot of soup that steams. Smiling, I forcefully bring my mother to her feet and drag her to Greasy Sae.
"Katniss, you can't keep hiding this!" My mother protest as I drag her along.
"Yes, I can." I growl.
"Ms. Everdeen!" Greasy Sae says. A flung of spit flies out. I wipe my cheek. "Katniss,"
"Hi, Greasy Sae." I say quickly. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Okay, what is it?" questions Greasy Sae.
"Show my mother the sick and ill." I instruct.
"Katniss," she hisses.
"Make sure she checks everyone and tries to help as much as she can." I ignore her.
Greasy Sae looks at me then at my mother.
I stare strictly at my mother. "You wouldn't let innocent people die, mother." I say. "Not if you could help it."
"That is true." My mother confirms. "But I have to help you." She hisses in my ear.
"I can show her where they are." Greasy Sae says. She cups my mother's hand. "Please,"
I drop my mother's other hand. I take the bowl of soup from Greasy Sae's hands. "I'll see you later, mother." I say, leaving. I block out my mother's shouts and continue up the stairs. The door creaks open as the wind gets rasher. I nudge it close with my heel and set the soup on the counter. I note is on the table next to the cake.
"Will be back soon, I'm taking Haymitch home. Love you, Peeta." I read directly off the card.
Right now was the only time I'd get before my mother barge in or before Peeta could come in. I stride over to the drawer and grab anything that'd help kill this baby.
XXX
My heart is pounding. My chest rises and falls rapidly. Blood surrounds me. My fingers feel weak, and I sputter for air. I faintly hear Peeta calling my name as the front door slams. The knife is across the bathroom floor. The agonizing pain flushes me. I sharp pang jabs my side. I silently cry in agony.
"Katniss?" Peeta calls. His footsteps grow heavier with each step and finally stop at the bathroom door, where I have been spending too much time in. I pull in my bottom lip and chew on it anxiously.
Please don't come in, I beg silently. Please, you aren't going to like what you see.
"Peeta, stop." I weakly groan. I try sitting up against the cabinet, but the pain is too much to bear. I exhale an inhale jaggedly, trying to catch my breath. My fingers fumble to my stomach and try covering up the blood and cuts.
"Katniss are you—" Peeta pokes his head in. He first studies the blood stains on the tile floor. Then his eyes trail up to me. His mouth is gaping and his eyes are wide.
"What the hell is happening?" he demands as he shoves open the door.
I groan, "Help,"
Peeta crouches down next to me. He removes my hand from the cuts on my stomach. He is stunned. His eyes dart around the pendant room. I groan again. Peeta hoists me up bridal style. I bury my head in the crook of his neck and let the tears drip off. "You'll be okay." He promises as he stumbles out of the bathroom.
XXX
I stir around in a new setting. My eyes flutter open. I check my surroundings. I am comfortably in my bed with the covers draped over me. I lift the covers off my body to see my stomach cleaned and bandaged. I have on Peeta's sweatshirt and some shorts on instead of the bloody garments I previously had on.
I straighten up in the bed, propped up by my elbows. I look around, wondering how long I have been passed out.
Precipitously, the door squeaks open. Peeta and my mother enter. My mother leans in and whispers something in Peeta's ear. He nods tersely. My mother gives me only a warning, threatening glance before patting Peeta on the shoulder and exiting.
Peeta closes the door behind her.
"You're awake." He says curtly.
I nod. "I am." I agree.
Peeta takes only a step forward. His hands are laced together and in front of his waist. He is quiet at first. Then, he glares at me and asks, "Why didn't you tell me?"
I swallow the bulging lump in my throat. "Because, I didn't need too." I reply.
"Why not?" His voice rises.
"Because it would be dead before you could find out!" I respond with the same high voice.
Peeta shakes his head. "I can't believe that." He says with a hushed tone. He stares at the ground, avoiding my gaze.
"Peeta," I sigh.
"No, Katniss! That baby is ours! Not just yours." he interrupts me harshly. He shakes a finger at me. "You lied to me!" his back faces me, and he rakes his hands through his neatly combed back hair.
"Peeta," I try again, but I cut myself off when I notice his fingers twitching. I raise an eyebrow, puzzled. He starts abnormally flexing his arms. I scoot back in the bed. He turns around and his left eye spasms, nostrils flare, and he growls.
"You've been lying to me." He snarls. "It's all been a lie!" he shouts through gritted teeth. I swing my legs over the bed and rush to him to try and calm him down.
"Peeta, calm down." I instruct sternly. His fingers overlap around my throat. I cough and sputter.
"It's all been a fake." He screams irrationally in my ear, squeezing my neck. I gag. "I hate you Katniss,"
"Peeta," my hands slap around his hands, trying to rip them off before I choked to death. "You have to stop." I gag.
"I can't!" he yells, tightening his grip. My feet lift off the ground.
"Peeta!" I holler over him. "This isn't you!"
"I'm going to kill you." He spats, growling.
"Kill me then you'll kill the baby." I reason. I try to swallow but I can't. "I know you won't do that Peeta, you're too good and loyal to hurt a living thing." Peeta, growing distracted, loosens his hands. I pry them off my neck but keep a firm grip on his fingers. His eyes darken.
"You especially wouldn't hurt someone that you helped create." I say, putting his palms on my abdomen. I lap my hands over his. "I know you won't kill me."
Peeta's heavy breathing dies down. His features relax and his hands are so tight. I tried my best to hide my smile of success.
"You love me, real or not real?" he asks uneasily. He slowly exhales.
I lock my eyes with his blue, innocent eyes. "Absolutely real," I reply strictly, cupping his face.
"You want this baby, real or not real?" he strains.
I remain silent for a long period of time. I have to answer truthfully know matter how hard it spirals, hits, and hurts him. I take in a deep breath. "Not real." I whisper.
Peeta's hands rest over mine. He nods firmly. I notice his jaw tightening. "I don't want you to keep this baby if it's only to make me happy." He responds. I wince from the hollowness laced in his voice. "I don't want to make you miserable, Katniss no matter what I believe." He whispers numbly as the tears well up in his eyes.
"Peeta," I murmur, stroking his cheek. Peeta stops me.
"I just can't be here right now, with you." He admits heavily. He drops my hands from his cheeks. With tears slowly cascading down his cheeks, he turns on his heels and heads out the bedroom door. Fresh tears cascade down my cheeks and my chin wobbles from the excruciating ache in my heart.
"Peeta," I call after him. "Don't!" He walks out into the kitchen. I run after him. "Peeta," I exclaim, shakily. "I can't lose you!"
Peeta ignores me. He shrugs on his jacket. "Don't try to follow me." He says. His voice cracks, but he never looks at me.
Then he slams the door in my face, and I stammer back. "Peeta," I choke out, opening the door to only be greeted by a gust of snowflakes. I close the door softly and press my back against the door. Slowly, I slide down and bring my legs up to my chest. Each day just seems to get worse and worse.
*Disclaimer: I own nothing! Only the plot!
A/N: Hey guys! Chapter Three is here!
So, I may or may not update next Saturday or Sunday because I'll be out of town for Christmas. And we'll be on the road all day Saturday, I am not sure.
Tell me what you guys think of this chapter. I, truthfully didn't' think it flowed as well as I would have liked but I needed to update today cause I didn't have time yesterday. But reviews would be awesome, telling me what you guys thought.
Will Peeta return? Will Katniss accept the fact that she needs to stop making choices on her own? (Highly doubt that, lol) These questions will be asnwered, hopefully, in chapter four!
Until next time, Merry Christmas!
