Chapter 4

I was lying on my bed looking up at the ceiling when I got a text. It was from Jake. It read:

"Miley we had a good thing. I'm not about to give up on us. I meant what I said. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I love you."

I sighed then responded:

"I'm sorry Jake. But what I did is unforgivable and you deserve better than that."

He responded but I couldn't talk to him anymore. So I ignored it. He even called a couple times. I just couldn't talk to him. Yes I felt horrible inside, I just didn't want to hurt him more. After Jake finally gave up I got another text. This time it was from Joe. It read:

"I heard you and Jake broke up. I'm sorry. I know that must have been hard."

"It was. But I just need to think about things." I responded.

"Do you love him?"

"In a way I always will. But I just don't think I love him in the boyfriend way."

"What about me?"

"I fell in love with you a while ago." I admitted.

"Really?"

"I had it bad."

"Had?"

"Have."

He responded with a smiley face and wrote:

"Tell me when you know if you want to give us a try."

I put a smiley back and wrote:

"I will."

I was up all night thinking. I wanted to be with Joe so much. But there was still part of me holding back. If I gave Joe a chance then it would tell me if I really wanted to be with him or not. I've never had to make this hard of a choice.

The next morning as I walked down the hall I felt tired, heartless, nervous, sad and a little anxious.

"Hey Miley." said Lily when she found me.

"Hi" I said with a small smile.

"You look awful. Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked looking at me.

My eyes had huge circles underneath them and were red, and puffy.

"Not really. I was up all night crying and thinking about what to do." I said opening my locker. "And did you come up with anything?"

"I think I'm going to give Joe a chance, I'm still torn." I said putting things in my backpack. "I just want you to know I'll support you with whatever choice you make. I just want you to be happy."

"I know you do." I said closing my locker.

"Ready to see him?" she asked as we walked down the hall to her classroom.

"I'm a little nervous." I said placing my hand on my stomach.

She linked arms with me as we walked into the classroom. My heart stopped when I saw Joe. As we walked in he turned around and when he caught my eye he smiled. I smiled back and kept walking with Lily to her desk. When she put her backpack down we walked over to some empty desks and sat down. It wasn't long after that when Joe walked over.

"Hi." he said.

"Hey." said Lily.

I smiled and looked at the desk. Joe was about to say something when I got a text. At first I didn't recognize the number. But when I read it, I knew exactly who it was.

"Uh I have to go. I'll see you guys later." I said getting and then running to the door.

"What's up with her?" asked Joe when I was gone.

"I don't know. She got a text then she ran off."

"Maybe it was the text." suggested Joe.

"But what could it have said to make her run off like that?" asked Lily.

"I don't know. But I'm going to find out." said Joe going toward the door.

When I reached the end of the hallway I saw him.

"What do you want?" I asked when I reached him.

"Nice to see you to Miley." he said smiling.

"Why did you text me Lucas? You know you're not supposed to talk to me. Remember?" I said crossing my arms.

"You broke up with Jake?"

"Yeah I did. What does it matter to you?"

"Oh nothing. You just broke his heart that's all."

"That's the last thing I wanted to do."

"You did this to get back at me didn't you?"

I wanted to kill him.

"You really think that's what this is about?"

"It is."

"Wow. You're more self centered than I thought. I didn't even know he was your friend until a week after I actually talked to him. And after that I tried to stay clear from him. He's the one who started our relationship. I wanted to be with him, for him. Not because I wanted to get back at you. You never even came up. God you just make me so mad."

"You make me mad because you broke his heart."

"You don't know anything Lucas!"

Then he slapped me. I held my cheek where he slapped me.

"You never change do you? Always accusing me of things. Then hurting me."

"It's not my fault you do stupid things that make me mad." he said pushing me against the wall. "Stop it! I never meant to hurt him I swear!" I said scared.

He was going to smack me again when someone yelled.

"Hey! Leave her alone."

It was Joe.

"She's not worth it." Lucas said before walking away.

I stayed silent and looking at the ground.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked walking over to me.

"I'm fine." I said hiding the cheek that Lucas hit.

"Let me see your cheek."

"Why?" I asked.

"I know he hit you. Now let me see." he said moving my hand.

He ran his fingers across the red spot. His touch was cold against my cheek. Then he stopped moving his hand and rested it in one spot. I looked up into his eyes. They were beautiful. I wanted to look away but I couldn't break away from his gaze.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

I nodded my head no.

"Was he the one who you got the text from?"

I nodded.

"Was he bugging you about the Jake thing?"

I nodded again.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"I just don't know what to say." I managed to say.

"There's your voice." he said smiling.

"I thought about it all last night." I said looking down.

"And you don't want to be with me." he said moving his hand off my cheek and stepping back,

"I want to be with you." I said looking back up at him.

He looked shocked but happy.

"Really?" he said grinning.

"Yes." I said smiling back.

He pulled me to him and hugged me. It felt nice being in his arms. I needed to enjoy it while it lasted, because he could hurt me and anytime. Is it right to always have your guard up? To never just let life take you where your supposed to go? With him I can never let him completely in. It's not going to be easy. When I'm with him, my guard seems to shut down and I tell him anything. But this can't happen. I'm afraid.

"I can't believe it." he said smiling and looking at me.

"What?" I asked smiling to.

"I never thought this would ever happen."

"Trust me I didn't either."

"I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize that I want to be yours." he said placing his hand back on my cheek.

"I was, well still am shocked that you want me. You always said you never liked me as more than a friend."

"I think I always knew I did, I just didn't want it to be true."

"I know what you mean. I really didn't want to have feelings for you but I just couldn't help it." "I'm glad." he said leaning in.

But the bell rang and I moved away from him.

"I'll see you later." I said smiling and walking away.

"So did you find Miley?" asked Lily when Joe walked back into the classroom.

"Yes I did." he said still smiling.

"So what happened? Why did she run off?" asked Lily.

"It was Lucas."

"Oh my gosh. What did he want? Did he hurt her?" asked Lily worried.

"He slapped her, and yelled at her."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. I got there before he could really hurt her."

"Well that's good. I guess that sort of makes you her hero."

"I guess it does." he said smiling even bigger.

"Did anything else happen?"

"Maybe." he said sitting down at his seat.

Before Lily could ask more the teacher had started class.

"Are you okay? I heard Lucas got to you. Why was he talking to you? He knows he's not supposed to talk to you." Lily asked me when she saw me at lunch at my locker.

"Oh yeah I'm okay. It was only a slap." I said.

"Your cheek is still red." she said looking at it.

"I'm just glad Joe got to me before he could do any real damage."

"Do you know why Lucas was talking to you? What made him mad enough to want to hurt you?"

"I guess he found out that I broke up with Jake. And he thought I broke his heart to get back at him."

"Do you know who he found out from? And wow Lucas. He really thinks you still care?"

"No I don't. And I know I told him that I wasn't trying to do anything to him."

"He's so full of it. To think that you would really do that."

"I know really!" I said closing my locker and walking with her.

Then I bumped into Jake. He smiled at me but I saw sadness in his eyes.

"Hi Miley." he said.

"Oh hi Jake."

"Do you mind if I still eat lunch with you guys?"

I looked at Lily. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Uh I'm not so sure that's such a good idea right now."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry. I guess I'll see you later then."

"Wait Jake." said Lily.

"Yeah?" asked Jake turning around.

"Did you tell Lucas you and Miley broke up?"

"What?" he asked.

"Did you tell Lucas that Miley broke up with you?"

"No. Why?"

He was lying. I could see it in his eyes.

"Then how did he find out?" I asked.

"I don't know." he said.

"You're lying." I said.

Lily looked at me shocked.

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"His eyes are screaming it."

I was still looking at his eyes.

"Okay. I did tell him. But how did you know that?"

"He talked to me this morning."

"Talked to you? Don't you mean yelled and hit you?"

"He talked to you? Wait he hit you?" he asked shocked and worried.

"Yeah he did. He left a red mark on her cheek." said Lily.

"He did?" he asked looking pale.

I turned my face so that he could see it.

"Miley, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he would do that."

"I'm sure you didn't. Listen. I'm sorry I hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I'm sure you didn't. But it did. That's what he does. He gets mad and then smacks me around." "I had no idea."

I could tell he felt horrible about it.

"I should have known it was coming."

"How would you have known?" asked Lily confused.

"This isn't the first time he's hurt me."

"I know he hurt you last year but-"

I stopped her.

"That's not what I meant. That was just the beginning." I said looking down.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't."

"Why not? We could have helped you."

"No. He told me that if I told anyone he would really hurt me and deny the whole thing, I mean if I had told you he was hurting me would you have believed me?"

"Well I mean I'd be surprised. I thought you weren't talking to him anymore."

"Well that's what I told you. He and I still stayed in contact." I said ashamed.

"Why did you do that Miley?" asked Lily.

"I didn't want to give up my best guy friend. I thought that I could get him back but I was wrong."

"Miley I'm really sorry." said Jake.

"I'm not mad. I just need space." I said walking past him.

Lily gave him and look then followed after me.

"I can't believe you let him hurt you." said Lily as we walked.

"I know. I just didn't know what else to do."

"You know you can always come to me."

"I know." I said with a small smile.

When we got to our normal spot we sat down and did what we would do on any other normal day. As usual Joe came over to us to but this time he sat next to me and put his arm around me the way Jake used to do. It was weird having Joe next to me. I hadn't looked at him. I was thinking about everything that had been happening.