( I own nobody from Arthur, or anything else in this story like Gossip Girl, etc...)
The next day at school everyone was talking about the latest Gossip Girl entry. Binky said the whole ordeal was completely "Shooooooccccccckkkkkiiiiiinnnnggggg," while Fern though it was completely made up like everything else on that website. Buster, while in a different state, thought it was a lot more difficult than that, and Mollie was laughing about it one day, then crying about it the next. Nobody mentioned anything to Arthur, but rumors were flying around everywhere. The most popular one was that Francine was responsible for breaking them up. This wasn't true of course, but try telling that to a bunch of high schoolers.
Everywhere Francine went, people were glaring at her, calling her names, and spreading even more rumors. Anything she did resulted in some sort of terrible lie being spread everywhere. If she took out the garbage, people said she was disposing of Muffy's body. If she went shopping, people said she was trying to take Muffy's place as the most popular girl, and if she even mentioned Arthur's name, she was immediately going out with him. Eventually people started asking Arthur questions, and they were usually about Francine.
Two weeks after Gossip Girl posted that entry, Arthur was sitting at home doing homework. You would think that by then the rumors would have subsided, but they were as out there as possible. Arthur looked at the math problem he was doing, it was some algebraic equation. It wasn't too difficult, but Arthur just couldn't concentrate. His phone rang and he answered. It was Buster.
"Hey Arthur," Buster said
"Hey Buster. Whatcha doing?"
"Um, to be honest I just wanted to ask you something."
"...I didn't pay Francine to murder Muffy if that's what you want to know," Arthur snapped.
"No, I was just wondering, what do you think happened to Muffy? We all know that Minnesota think is total BS."
"I don't know Buster, but I can't help but think that it's all very set up. Maybe Francine did have something to do with it. Or maybe we're all just very paranoid. I don't know, but I intend on finding out."
"How are you going to do that?"
"I'm going to get a professional to do that kind of work."
"Who? Is it Veronica Mars, because she probably has better things to do." (Buster may have grown up a bit, but his IQ was still suffering.)
"No, I'll go to the only person I could trust with this kind of request. I'm going to ask Fern."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It had been four days since Arthur had asked Fern to investigate. She had agreed under the circumstance that DW (who was now 12 years old) would watch her kid. Fern called Arthur and told him to meet her at the arsenic infested water fountain. What she had found was as Binky would say: "Ssssshhhhhooooooccccckkkiiinnnnggggg."
When they met at the water fountain, Fern had been pacing wildly. What she had discovered was so shocking that she could almost throw up due to total shock! She looked at Arthur and breathed a deep breath. She didn't need to say anything for Arthur to know that it was important.
"Well, what is it? What's the news?" Arthur asked confidently.
Fern took out an envelope with different photos and pieces of paper in it. The first thing she pulled out was a photo of a baby. "This little infant is Muffy. Notice how it has a rather masculine face. The next picture is of someone we all know, who moved here about 4 and a half months ago. It is of Randolph, the slightly crazy hippo. The next item is the last item, that will make everything very clear. It is the birth certificate of Donald Muffy Crosswire."
"Oh my gosh! Muffy has a brother!" Arthur said, astounded.
"No Arthur, Muffy IS her 'brother.' She was born a man, and raised to believe that she was a girl. I believe that Randolph is Muffy in her true form. Her man form."
Arthur was shocked. He had been dating a man for 2 years, he had loved a man for two years. Thinking back he couldn't help but realize that this all made sense.
~*~Flashback~*~
Muffy is 12 years old looking through a magazine
"She is totally hot, don't you guys think?"
"I think you met he Muffy."
"No I-oh, never mind."
Muffy is 15 years old playing baseball
"Wow Muffy, you can really hit the ball! Are you on steroids or something?"
"Nope, just plain old testosterone."
(Kids in unison) "What?"
"I said-oh, never mind."
Muffy is 16 years old talking with friends
"I've never noticed this before, but you have a really deep voice Muffy."
"That chick has a nice rack."
"What did you say Muffy???"
"That chick ha-oh, never mind."
~*~End Flashback~*~
"What are you going to do with this news Arthur?" Fern asked questioningly.
"Did she know she was a man?"
"Yes, and living with that secret made her a bit mad."
"She knew she was a dude, and she dated me??? Screw her privacy, we're gonna send this to Gossip Girl!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Epilogue
Randolph was completely humiliated and left school when his secret was relieved.
Francine and Arthur started dating.
Fern became a detective.
Mollie had a sex change operation, and became Ronnie.
George was turned into a hat stand.
Binky is staring in a soap opera.
Sue-Ellen won an award for the grossest voice.
Brain got a bit smarter, then dumbed down even lower than before.
DW possibly became the next Regina George.
And Buster still thinks Veronica Mars is a real person.
The End!
