Evanescence
Chapter 4. Something Just Like This.
"I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman's control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don't see myself upon that list
But she said, where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?"
~Something Just Like This by Coldplay & The Chainsmokers
I've been restless that night, but there's nothing much I can do. Part of me wanted to give up; I'd been so miserable but I would be even more miserable if it doesn't work out. I knew that I've always wanted to be with her, but if I'm not the best for her then I just shouldn't force it. I just want her to be happy.
The thing is, being who I am and what I am, I know that things are not as simple as it seems. There is a reason why the letter got to me in the end, why Annabeth had set this up and Hermes had agreed to deliver this letter to me, why she wrote what she wrote and what happened to her for that memory loss. It is the Fates, and somehow, they want me to find out what happened and they wanted me to find her.
I wonder when she forgot all of this. And there really isn't anything I can do right now aside from finding out the truth. I can't concentrate or think of literally anything else unless I get a closure on this. Thinking that I'm all kinds of stupid, I made a call to Lee, the President of Columbia University and coincidentally a son of Athena, so that he can forge a path for me to be an undergrad studying marine biology there the right way. I didn't want to use the Mist that sparingly and I wanted to experience the university as Annabeth does.
Maybe I was really naive, but I wanted to mirror what happened with us back in Goode and to have something just like that.
I stopped by that Starbucks Annabeth and I would stop across Goode, the very one a version of Apollo used to occasionally worked in to keep an eye on Will (though he would never admit it, and this is also something that Will doesn't need to know). He's been long gone from that place, as Will's graduated two and some years ago, but I had a feeling that my cousin and friend is there waiting for me.
I popped in around the corner and strolled in. Apollo was there, as expected, flashing me a 100-watt smile.
"What can I get for you today, Perce? Haven't seen you in a while."
I nodded. "Just a doppio, please."
Apollo quickly made the drink and walked from the back of the counter, folding his green apron and putting it away in the process. So he was here just for me.
"So, what's up." I sighed, sinking into the seat. It's a nice summer day, and another version of myself, the one that wants to just forget about all of this and be carefree for once this year, is out there surfing on the beautiful San Diego beaches.
"You tell me what's up, man." Apollo gazed at me intently as I finished my double espresso shot in one go. "By all accounts, you went into a state of depression a couple of years ago. Which as you know, doesn't happen to us gods all that often unless something is really, really wrong. Like what Athena suffered a while back. I thought you got better, though you really disappeared on me - and I thought I'm your best friend. I've been giving you a lot of time to recover, but then there's all that unease in the tides throughout the last day, so something must have happened."
Apollo is not the overly verbal kind of friend, so I was surprised that he divulged all of that in one go. I'm honestly pretty flattered that he showed this kind of concern, and I also felt bad that I didn't at least let him know I've been doing alright.
"First of all, quit going to Australia that often. Poor folks at getting so much sun over there these few years," I started, distracting him so that he can stop worrying about me.
"Don't you distract me-"
"Apollo, I'm fine, okay? It's just been a tough break up. I loved her, and you know." Apollo nodded sympathetically but I know that he had no idea what that kind of love feels like. He's not the type to settle; he knocks up as many girls as he can.
"And are you over her yet?"
"Actually, I just found her not that long ago-" I started, and Apollo groaned. I understand where he's coming from, to some extent, but of course, I disagree.
"Perce, you are obsessed. It's not healthy. She's just a mortal, and I know you love her, but you should let go."
I shook my head. "She asked me to find her. And she's lost all her memory."
"What do you mean?"
I explained the happenings in the last few days to Apollo, including my plan to head to Columbia.
"That is a horrible idea," Apollo concluded. I was about to argue, but he continued. "But if that's what you want to do, I'll support you however I can. I just want you to find happiness again, Percy, and I don't want this to break your heart even further. Things change quickly for mortals - I thought I really liked Will's mother, maybe I even loved her. But five years was a blink and when I had gone back to visit when Will was four, she's already found someone else. Someone else she is happy in love with. And it's not my place to tamper with that."
"But Annabeth asked me to find her. And I never knew what happiness was before her." I said, but even my words suddenly sounded immature to my ears.
"The Annabeth three years ago. But Perce, I'm not here to argue with you what you should or shouldn't do. I'm just here to let you know that there are substantial risks to going back and reopening this. Some memories are better left alone. Some things are just not meant to be."
I sighed, taking his words in, but also tossing them aside. Doubts are starting to creep in and I couldn't let that happen. I could never give up on my Wise Girl. She meant the world to me, and we were so happy together.
Apollo didn't press on, so the two of us sat in a corner by the window, looking at the bustling city right outside and thinking of our pasts.
The first day and I'm heading to The True and the Good, a philosophy class that can help fulfill my Global Core Requirement. It sounded absolutely miserable for me (as I do not have any aptitude nor desire to learn about philosophy) but I knew that Annabeth was in that class. And I wanted to approach her, somehow.
That was my goal - I was curious to some extent to see how higher education works nowadays (the last time I sat in a college must have been 500 years ago, sometime in the 1500s at Oxford), but more than that, I wanted to find her, whatever that really means.
I arranged it so that I was in Intermediate Swimming, something Annabeth's taking to fulfill one of her PhysEd requirements. At least it's not Beginning Swimming, which I probably could not fit in even if I tried. The other thing is that I'll get to see Annabeth in her bathing suit (and whilst I try to not subject her to a typical male gaze, I can't help but think about her in a lustful way; we've never gone that far, but she is of age now, and we were together). I'm in another bigger biological science lecture class and one more focused on marine biology, neither of which Annabeth is in. These are classes I truly enjoy and want to take anyway, and this way she wouldn't think of me as the stalker that I am.
College is much more freeform - there's no Katie bounding down the hall to me welcoming me to the school, or anyone like Annabeth to act as my guide. I've been settled in my dorm (Wallach, in the Living Learning Center), and purchased my textbooks the day prior. Taking my backpack, I headed towards the aptly named Philosophy Hall, with a statue of The Thinker set in front of the hall.
I walked into the classroom and quickly spotted Annabeth sitting in the third row - I wanted to sit in the seat next to hers and join her, but decided that it would probably be strange. Instead, I opted to sit in the seat in the row behind her, next to a blond-haired boy who was rummaging through his backpack.
"Annabeth," he said, "I can't find my pencil. Can I borrow one of yours?" He looked up, and I locked eyes with Will Solace.
"Percy?" Will said, incredulous.
"What's that?" Annabeth said, turning around, seeing me. "Will," she said worriedly, "that's the guy I told you about. That's the guy who called me by a weird name a few days ago."
Will gave me a look that I've known all too well. A look of disapproval, surprise, and something else.
Told you guys I'd update faster. Hopefully, I'll be able to update every week for the next 14 weeks or so until senior year hits. School's been an absolute L. All my continuous hard work the past year had been dismantled by a professor who dislikes me, so idk. I don't ever know if anything ever matters anymore, though. I've been so burnt out.
Meanwhile, friends, I would appreciate an encouragement or two. And tell me what you want to see in this story!
