Title: Dysphoria

Summery: Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

Notes: This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes.

Small note: To my knowledge, Sakumo committed suicide when Kakashi was eight. D!Kakashi has three more years until then, so currently, Sakumo is not going to commit suicide anytime soon.

I have other concerns, but they will be at the bottom.


I wasn't surprised that Minato ended up being my sensei. He had been assigned the Kakashi from the manga after all, but I had always thought that Kakashi had been assigned to him singularly. Instead, I had been assigned to him alongside two others. A civilian girl named Haruhi and a Inuzuka named Hikaru, who's dog was named Koinu. I held back a chuckle at the name, as it wasn't the most original of names.

They weren't warm or anything to me, but they weren't hostile. I suppose that's why they were put with me. Or perhaps it was the other way around, placing me with the people who wouldn't try and kill me for what Sakumo did.

We were the last ones to be picked up, and it was awkward. I sat beside Haruhi, watching her read a book, as Hikaru and Koinu horsed around. It was a book I had read, on lightning jutsu, so I was curious about it.

"How far are you in the book?" I asked, finally. Haruhi jumped, giving me this wide eyed look at my talking to her. I blinked, waiting for the response.

"Chapter three." she finally said. "I'm not sure whether or not I'm Lightning Natured, but I wanted to see what kind of jutsu I could do if I was." Her voice had this babyish quality to it, which I ignored, as I instantly began to speak,

"I read it, it's a good book. Chapter four has some interesting-" I began, feeling excited about talking about books. Haruhi had been the top kunoichi after all. She could keep up with me when I rambled on about books.

"Why bother?" asked Hikaru, as he played tug-a-war with his dog. "Female ninja are medics, not front line fighters. Or they're infiltrators." I frowned, as Haruhi launched into a tirade against the traditional roles a female would play in the forces, her voice loosing it's babyishness.

"Kunoichi are just as strong as men! Tsunade-sama is even stronger then anyone in this village!"

"She's a medic!"

"You just can't admit a woman is better then a man."

"Women can be whatever they want." I remarked, a little confused about the entire debate. There was a bit of a social stigma against women being front line ninja, mostly because of the fact women were seen as the weaker sex, even in this world most women were expected to have kids and give up being a ninja if needed. But, Tsunade had changed that view, so it was jarring to meet someone like Hikaru who was sexist. Then again, it was only recently that it had been changed, so it was probable that he still held those views.

Man, I couldn't wait to see his reaction to Tsume becoming the clan leader of the Inuzukas. I bet it was going to be hilarious.

"See, Kakashi agrees with me." Haruhi said, throwing an arm over my shoulder and pulling me into her side. Her voice had gone babyish and soft once more, making me frown. I was five physically, but she did not have to treat me like a baby with her words. Hikaru scowled at us, as I detached myself from Haruhi. Minato came in a few minutes later, with a happy wave. He led us to the roof, the traditional meeting place of the team with the Rookie of the Year.

"Now, lets start with introductions." Minato said, cheerfully once we were all settled. "Likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the the future, that sort of thing." He really did look like his son, I mused, as we sat on the roof of the school. Except, no orange.

Thank Kami for that.

"I'm Haruhi!" said the girl, grinning happily. "I like sushi, my little brother, and the color blue! I dislike spiders, the color red, and tofu." I wrinkled my nose, as did she. Tofu was disgusting, in any life of mine. "I also dislike sexist idiots." She sneered at Hikaru, who glared back. Well, this would be fun with both of them on my team. "My hobbies are reading and training, and my dream is to be an amazing front line ninja!"

"I'm sure you'll be a great one Haruhi-chan." Minato said, ruffling her black hair. "How about you go next." he nodded to Hikaru, who grinned toothily.

"I'm Inuzuka Hikaru. I like my dog, Koinu, training and barbecue. I hate cats, baths and fleas." he ruffled his brown hair, his pup in his lap. "My hobbies are training, and playing fetch with Koinu, and I want to become the best tracker ninja in the village!" He was mature in some ways, not getting back with some comment at Haruhi.

"Now, your turn." Minato said, after ruffling the hair of Hikaru. I didn't smile, but I did bow my head.

"I'm Hatake Kakashi. I like sushi, reading, learning and Nao-san." Nao was a great uncle of sorts, even if it was odd to consider a dog my uncle, but when in Rome, do as the Romans do, so I just went with it. "I dislike bugs, rats and cats." Ninken did not get along with cats. Nao had a few choice things to say about felines, most words were unrepeatable in polite company. "My hobbies are calligraphy, and training, and I don't really have a dream. Maybe become a great ninja."

"Well, I'll make sure you all achieve your dreams." Minato said, grinning.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself, sensei?" asked Haruhi, titling her head to the side.

"Sure. I'm Namikaze Minato. I like my girlfriend's cooking, my girlfriend and training. I dislike people who abandon their teammates, traitors and kidnappers. My hobbies are creating new jutsu and seals, and my dream is to become Hokage." Minato said, grinning.

"So, what now sensei?" Hikaru asked, his dog yipping his agreement.

"Now, it is time for your test!" said Minato, grinning at the shocked looks on Haruhi's and Hikaru's face. I wasn't surprised, but I did widen my eyes like I was, jerking back as well. Easy acting.

"TEST!?" Hikaru shouted, jumping up in anger. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Language, there is a child here!" Haruhi said. I gave her a dirty look. I may have been physically five, but I wasn't a child. I was a shinobi and that made a whole lot of difference.

Shinobi are bred to kill. And I mean bred. Shinobi do sometimes marry for love, but most of the time, the marriage of two shinobi is more or less an agreement to have a kid because they both find the other shinobi's skills strong, and they want their child to have the same traits. Clans do it all the time, to make their bloodline strong. After a child is born, the couple often sleeps with others. There are exceptions, Sakumo and Yuki, Shikaku and Yoshino, and a few more, but most of the time, marriage was just business between shinobi. Civilians believed in marriage and love, in fidelity. It was a large reason why most shinobi who married civilians often ended up divorced.

There was also the way the shinobi and the civilian kids were raised. Civilian kids almost never become ninja, because their parents could never have raised them to be the right stuff to become a ninja. Civilians raised their kids with soft words and hands. They were read stories about ninja saving the world courageously, where the hero always won, and everyone was happy in the end, and no one died. The bedtimes stories shinobi kids were told were not like that. They were gruesome, and had casualties, both good and bad. Civilians were given fluffy toys and plushy shinobi weapons. Shinobi kids were given anatomically correct dolls and wooden weapons, upgraded to dull and then live when they had advanced in skill enough.

Ninja are meant to be stone cold killers. At any time, a ninja could be ordered to kill an innocent baby, and they would have to do it, despite personal beliefs against it. Kunoichi were actually required to loose their virginity before age fourteen, because of the fact that fourteen was the age when they were trained for seduction missions.

It takes a certain kind of person to be a shinobi. Most civilians just didn't cut it. I wasn't fully sure if I cut it, but I was going to try my hardest anyway.

"The test you just took was simply weeding out the ones who were unfit to be considered for this test." Minato said, leaning backwards against the railing on the roof. "This one is made to separate the ninja from the pretenders."

"What kind of test is it?" I asked. I was fairly certain I knew exactly what it was, but I wanted to make sure I knew.

"A survival exam."

-0-

"So, Minato is teaching you?" Sakumo asked, as we ate dinner. It was ramen, homemade as well. Sakumo was an amazing cook, top of the line. Unlike me, as I actually could burn water.

Long story, and trust me, you don't want to know.

"Yeah. He's a nice guy." I said, as I swirled my chopsticks in the broth, scooping them into my mouth with ease. "My teammates are annoying though."

"A civilian and a clan member, correct?" Sakumo questioned, as he ate. I nodded, displeased still with my teammates. "You'll probably only have a year with them because your to smart not to become a chunin soon." Sakumo chuckled. I gave a small laugh at it, grinning at him.

"Thanks." I said, as we continued our meal in silence. After we washed up, I packed for the next day, sharpening my kunai, making sure I had ninja wire and a first aid kit. I also did a quick run through of my clothes, a loose vest made to stop most projectile weaponry, a plain black shirt and a pair of brown pants. Simple and sturdy. I also went through a run through in my head of what I remembered about Minato's fighting style. That odd seal thing that made him teleport, the rasengan... those were his two big moves, but I couldn't remember if he had made them around that time. I knew he had made them by the time Obito and Rin-

Oh, hell.

A kunai I had been inspecting slipped out of my hand. It was only the reflexes I had recently gained that prevented me from spearing my own foot, as I twitched out of the way.

Uchiha Obito. Tobi. Obitobi.

He was going to be my teammate in a few years.

The most insane traitor in Konoha would be on my team.

The man who will unleash a demon would be on my team.

I sat down, feeling the world spin, the little world I had created full of hate and anger, where everything was someone else fault, it all came crashing down around my shoulders. It didn't matter. It really didn't matter in the larger scheme of things.

I was Hatake Kakashi, the Copy-Nin. Sharingan no Kakashi. Or at least I would be. The fact I was a woman stuck in a five-year-old males body seemed less of an issue now, that I finally woke up, and realized what lay ahead of me. It was still an issue, it just seemed to pale, when faced with what would happen.

The bridge... Rin's death... Minato becoming the Hokage... the Kyubbi being ripped from Kushina's body... the Akatsuki...

I put my head between my legs, feeling myself start to hyperventilate.

I wasn't ready. Damn it. I wasn't a bad person, what the did I do to deserve this? Being reborn into the wrong sex, being faced with the future of a world, knowing it but unable to see where to begin, where to start changing things. I could stop it! I could. I could stop Obito from becoming Tobi. I could, I could, I could.

But how? How could I do anything? What could I do to stop the future from becoming the hell I knew it would?

I didn't sleep that night, my mind whirling with my thoughts, unable to stop thinking, unable to breath, I was so terrified.

It was the first time the true reality of my situation crashed down on me, and it wouldn't be the last.

I knew it wouldn't.

-0-

From the anime or the manga, we gathered that teamwork was important in Konoha. That wasn't strictly true, as Sakumo's situation proved. However, people like the Third, Jiraiya and Minato all believed in teamwork. They all believed that the most important thing a ninja could have was teammates backing them.

On my team, that was next to impossible.

"There's only two bells, brat. Why do you think there's hidden meaning?" snarled Hikaru, glaring at me, as I hung upside down from a branch with my chakra.

"How many genin teams do you see with only two members?" I asked, feeling exhausted. 'Inuzukas are team players' was a down right lie. Hiakru worked well with Koinu, but it was like pulling teeth to get him to freaking listen to me. Coupled with my sleepless night, I was about ready to say screw it and fail. I really wanted to sleep.

"Only the ones that..."

"Lost a member. Now, do you want to be a genin or not?" I snapped, my patience worn thin.

The beginning of the test went as I expected, though he didn't make us wait for hours. He showed up on time, and simply told us what the test objective was. When time was called, we blended into the trees, and I tracked down Hikaru. Haruhi would simply baby me if I tried to talk to her directly, so I went for the Inuzuka. However, I had wasted ten minutes trying to convince the idiot I was right. Haruhi would have at least followed me, if only to 'protect' me.

"What's the plan then?" Hikaru asked, Koinu yipping at his heels.

"We need to find Haruhi. If I remember correctly, she has skill with genjutsu, right?" I asked, dropping down from where I was hanging. "I'm good with ninjutsu and taijutsu, but I haven't got the right knack with genjutsu. You have Koinu, so you can track, and you have your own taijutsu. We'll figure something out."

"Don't you have a pack? I thought Hatakes got a huge one." Hikaru asked, as his pup began to track down Haruhi.

"I have to wait till I'm ten until they're born." I answered, shrugging. "It takes four years to train after that, so it's going to be a while." Hikaru snorted, as we followed his black dog through the woods. Haruhi was hiding in a tree, and was annoyed by us tracking her down.

Her acceptance of the idea of us teaming up was quicker then Hikaru's but she was obviously disbelieving that I could come up with anything to help with the bells. However, as we hashed out ideas, she stopped, more focused on us trying to beat Minato.

"What does his girlfriend look like?" asked Haruhi, looking thoughtful. "If I know, I could do a genjutsu with her in it."

"I think red hair and green eyes." I remarked, trying to think of what Kushina looked like. I'd never met her face to face, and I only remembered the fanfictions where Harry Potter was her nephew or something clearly enough to try and put her looks together.

"So, you trap him, and we jump him?" asked Hikaru. Haruhi nodded, accepting the plan. I frowned.

"We should set up more traps. He is a jonin, academy level genjutsu wouldn't work." Haruhi scowled at me, offended but I ignored her. Let her be offended all she wants, I was right.

"I have some explosive notes." Hikaru offered. I pulled out my spool of ninja wire, grinning.

"What about you, what if your ambush doesn't work?" asked Haruhi, still offended that I didn't think she could fool a jonin. I'd forgotten how teenagers seemed to believe they were better then anyone else.

"Then we fall back and make a new plan." I answered, as we began to implement our plan. As we worked, I felt nervous and terrified. I was still entrapped in my thoughts from yesterday, and a part of me wanted to fail on purpose, so I wouldn't have to deal with the future.

I didn't want to be the one to try and save the future. I didn't want that responsibility on my shoulders. I honestly just wanted to crawl up into a little ball and whimper.

The traps weren't fancy, simple trip ropes and explosive notes, but they would do the job. Haruhi set off a genjutsu to make a loud bang, and we hid out of sight, waiting. Minato came through, looking for us. Haruhi launched right into the genjutsu, weaving it around him. He froze for a second, but broke it rather easily, looking around. I in turn set off a trap, an explosive note hidden right under him, forcing him to jump up, as Hikaru jumped out of the trees, Koinu with him, attacking. I in turn jumped out, launching into a kick, hitting Minato right between the shoulders.

He let me hit him, I knew it, but I still felt a thrill run through me at the idea I had actually landed a hit on Namizake Minato, the Yellow Flash. However, it became fear, when he smashed his arm into me, throwing me away. Hikaru was kicked off, and Koinu was thrown away, as Minato yanked out...

A three prong Kunai.

"Shit!" I cursed, jumping up, and throwing my own kunai. He deflected it, and threw his kunai, but I rolled out of the way, jumping away just as he flashed to where I had been. So, he did have the teleport thingy, which sounded really stupid when I said it like that. I made a mental note to actually learn what it was called, as Haruhi jumped out, throwing a barrage of shuriken at Minato, who again teleported away.

"Only two of you get the bells, you know." he called out, raising an eyebrow at us.

"There aren't any teams with just two genin on them, unless they lost a member." Hikaru said, as he tossed something to Koinu, who bit right into it. "Jūjin Bunshin!" With a puff of smoke, there was two of them, and they both growled at Minato, who simply smirked. My hands flashed, as Hikaru got ready.

I launched a ninjutsu attack at Minato, a simple one that really just distracted him, as Hikaru jumped at him, along with Koinu. Minato dodged, jumping over one of our trip ropes, though he did get tangled in another we hung near it. I snickered a little, as he cut himself out. He fell for a genin's trap, that was hilarious.

I jumped in to help Hikaru, as Haruhi began to flash through seals to make a genjutsu. Minato was disoriented enough for us all to jump him, as a team.

I jumped over one of the Hikaru's, and slashed at Minato with my Kunai, but he grabbed my arm and threw me off. I landed, slapping the ground as I did so, and jumped back up, only to get a face full of silver hair. My hair tie had snapped. I reached into my pocket, yanking out one of my extras, and yanked my hair back, shoving it into the tie, as one of the Hikaru's poofed, revealing Koinu, falling to the ground, breathing heavily from a kick to the stomach.

I flashed through hand seals, yelling out a warning to Hikaru and Haruhi, before I unleashed a rush of air, shoving Minato back. It wasn't much of a jutsu, but it did do the job, staggering him back a few steps.

I felt a bit of gratitude for my teammates, as they attacked right away when he staggered. Haruhi sucked at taijutsu, but she did her best, fighting hard against Minato, as I took a quick breath, and jumped into the fray once more.

Minato was good. He handled the three of us, four once Koinu had recovered, with ease, shoving us, punching us, kicking us. He didn't use jutsu, though we did. It was interesting battle. He was winning, no doubt about that, but we did hold our own.

Koinu managed to snatch the bells from Minato, jumping away with them in his mouth. We all jumped away then, standing in a line. Koinu dropped the bells into Hikaru's hand, who grinned wolfishly.

"Who gets the bells then?" called out Minato, looking interested. Hikaru bit his lip, tossing me one, and then, for a second, looked very conflicted. I answered by tossing it to Haruhi, who looked shocked. "Kakashi?"

"I'm Hatake Sakumo's kid." I answered, shrugging. "If I pass, my teammates end up with crap assignments, or dangerous ones because everyone blames my father for starting this war." It was the first time I had refereed to Sakumo as my father, after the huge blow up as a baby, but it felt right to do so, for some reason. It just felt right to refer to him as my father then. "I don't mind going back to the academy if it means that no one dies because of me." the two were silent for a second, before Hikaru shoved his bells into my hands.

"Here." he grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. I answered by handing it to Koinu. "Take it!"

"No." I answered. Haruhi shoved her bell into my hand, and I tried to give it back, but she ducked out of the way, refusing to take it.

"Well then, I am pleased to announce... you all pass." said Minato, grinning at us. Hikaru whooped, pumping his fist, as Haruhi squealed. "You understand the most important part of being a shinobi: teamwork. With teamwork, you can beat anyone. But, there is also the other part of teamwork, sacrifice." He nodded to me. "Kakashi would willingly sacrifice himself so you could be safe, that is what a true teammate does. His father, on the same page, sacrificed his own standing in the village, for his teammates." He ruffled my hair, grinning at all of us. "Team practice is at ten, don't be late." he vanished in a yellow flash, leaving us alone in the forest.

"YES! WE'RE NINJA!" Hikaru yelled, pumping his fists into the air. I chuckled, shaking my head, as I dismantled the traps we had left. "Aren't you exicted at all, Kakashi?" he asked, Haruhi looking interested as well.

"Yeah, but I just want to go home and sleep right now." I said, shrugging. "I'm exhausted." And I still had things to think over.

The future was dangerous, and I needed to grow up to face it. I was still terrified about it, but I would take it as it came. I was a ninja now, and I would protect Konoha to the best of my abilities.


YOSH! Over 3500 words! WHO IS AWESOME! *fist pump* Any who, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hikaru and Haruhi are made to be irritating, but I plan for them to grow out of it, later on. However, right now they display people that we don't see in the manga/anime: A sexist and a civilian who is still mentally a civilian, despite being a shinobi.

Okay, concerns of mine: To the anons who keep saying 'this is canon' 'you aren't changing anything', I'm only four chapters in. Do you know the future? Do you know what I'm going to change? No, so please just stop, and wait, please. Changing canon is trickier then most people think, as she can't be everywhere at once: She wasn't on the mission with Sakumo, so she couldn't stop him from saving his team and failing the mission. Also, it's a matter of realism to it. She can't change everything, that's impossible. I need a reasonable way to change something, I can't just go 'oh, I'll change this'. Writing these kind of fics is a lot harder then you think.

Now, I've been asked by a few people why I refer to Kakashi, in this story, as a she and transgender: Gender is a mental concept. Mentally, Kakashi is female, therefore, I refer to her as a she. Transgender means having a female mind in a males body, or a male mind in a female body.

Some people confuse transgender for transexual, which means transitioning between the sexes, as in getting surgery or hormone treatments. Right now, Kakashi is transgender. And, yes, later on she will be transexual. I just don't plan for it to be a perfect transition. Yes, there are ninja that can defy a lot of logic (Suigetsu turning into water) but, that is because they are born like that. Kakashi isn't born like that.

Her sexuality is also brought into question because of her gender vs. sex. I say she's straight because I am best friends with a transgender male, who defines his sexuality off his gender and not his sex. He is who I get most of my terminology from BUT not everyone uses the same terminology, nor do they define it the same way. It's a matter of personal preference.

All in all, gender and sexual identity is a very confusing thing. Go read Gender Confusion by the awesome phoenixyfriend if you want more of an insight.

Other notes: I am moving around update deadlines. Now it is every three weeks verses every two, because I am very busy with my last year of highschool. So, updates on all stories will be slower.

Review please!