It was quite dark outside when Zoro woke up, he had the day off because he had to go to the eye doctor for a check up. Hewas up because Sanji woke him up, very much to his displeasure.

"What the fuck do you want?" Zoro groaned. This better be well fucking worth it.

"The car's stuck, help me push it out," Sanji responded with an irritated voice.

"How the fuck did you get it stuck?"

"The drive way is icy, asshole. Hurry up, I'm going to be late."

Zoro sighed, mourning the loss of his warm bed as he got up. He was going to walk right out when Sanji stopped him.

"What the hell are you doing? Go get a coat, moron, it's freezing out there."

Zoro groaned like a five year old but did as he was told, like a good boy.

Sanji was right, it was fucking freezing outside. Yesterday had been warm enough that a lot of snow had melted and frozen over night, leaving everything especially slick. Together they walked outside. Sanji took two steps and started to fall on the ice, Zoro stepped forward to catch him but also slipped and they were both knocked to the ground.

Sanji huffed, "Told you it was icy."

"Yeah, yeah, just get up. I want to go back to sleep."

Sanji got up and into the car, which was already running. When he tried to back out the wheels started spinning as they had dug themselves into gravel ruts. It really didn't take much to get them out, just a few shoves. Then again Zoro did sometimes seem to have superhuman strength.

"Thanks, muscle-head!" Sanji called through his window as he backed out. Zoro flipped him off as he drove away down the dark road. He cautiously made his way back inside and slept for another four hours.

When he found himself in the optometrist's office the only question he had was, why? Why did he have to go? His vision was fine, why did he have to have a check up? Probably because he hadn't gone in fucking forever but that was because the eye doctor's office pissed him off.

He had to wait in their tiny lobby for twenty minutes listening to shitty Christmas music before he was called up. Then he was taken through all the typical tests by some lady. The one with the dots of light where you had to click every time you saw one, every time he did it he accidentally pressed it at least one extra time. The one with the out of focus hot air balloon that you're always super suspicious of but it doesn't really do anything. That fucking one where they blow air in your eyes, can't they think up a better way of getting a reading for whatever it is that measures? And they one where they take a picture of your eye. They had to retake the last one four times because his eyes were half closed. Fuck flash photography, his eyes were always half closed, it made for very awkward school pictures.

Then he was taken to a different room where he had to wait an hour for the doctor to come in. What the fuck was he doing? He had at most one other patient, so where the fuck was he? The machines in his room were cool though, very steampunk.

The tests he did were only like ten minutes long he had to read all the letter on that little board and everything. And of course they had to dilate his eyes, because they seemed to always do that. Then they had to shine that bright as hell light around his eyes to see into the back of his eye. What they were looking for he did not know but they never found it, which he was grateful for.

They did all their stuff, gave him those stupid roll up sun glasses and sent him on his way. There was no way he would wear those fucking flimsy things, he would just tuff it out. He could take it.

At least he didn't have to spend an absurd amount on glasses, fuck were they expensive. Sanji had a pair that he tried to never wear because he thought they made him look dorky. They didn't, it was a little odd to see him wearing them but they just made him look different. They were square with black plastic frames. Instead he always just wore contacts. It was always amusing when he didn't get all the contact solution off and they made his eyes burn. Apparently he thought it was funny too because every time it happens he would start laughing like an idiot.

Zoro didn't get glasses fetishes, like seriously, what the fuck was up with them? Fucking weird.

So Zoro drove home, sufficiently pissed off with sensitive eyes. Fuck optometrists. He got progressively more sensitive to the light as he went. When he was home he received a text from Sanji saying something he couldn't read because everything up close looked to blurry.

He texted back:

"I care read acre fund hrs tuivjyeey"

It was supposed to say "I can't read anything it's too blurry" but it was difficult to type and autocorrect kept changing his words so half way through the sentence the decided it wasn't worth trying. He did send the message anyway because fuck it, why not?

Needless to say Sanji was very confused when he received this message. He had been asking if they still had iceream in the freezer because he couldn't for the life of him remember.

"Did they remove you brain at the eye doctor's? Do we have any ice cream?"

"Fuckyou. I vent see shut. They dilate dead my yews"

Sanji was pretty sure that was met to say that the doctor had dilated his eyes, which made sense because they always did that. He did not dwell on this fact long because Zeff walked in and told him to stop slacking off and get his ass in gear. He decided he would just get the ice cream on the way home regardless of whether or not they had any.

XxxX

A/N: Seriously, what's the deal with eye doctors?

Thanks.