FH: Curse you iTunes!

Ichigo: ...Huh? What's the matter?

FH: iTunes doesn't have any songs I like! Look!

Ichigo: ... That's because your taste in music sucks.

FH: YOU SUCK!

Ichigo: YOU SUCK!

Alex: (Popping out of nowhere) What's going on guys?

FH and Ichigo: YOU SUCK!

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Disclaimer: I am not Camelot, therefore, I don't own Golden Sun.

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Golden Sun: Welcome to my world.

Chapter 4: A utopia and dystopia

West Town Mall, the most popular place in the bustling capital city of Madison, Wisconsin(except maybe downtown). To many, it would be considered a paradise for women, and a down-right hell for men. A battlefield in itself, one must carry with them a map, for it can be very to get lost... or just look at one of the directories in order to locate their objectives, a party of four was plentiful for one man to manage... But a party of eight? Now that in itself was suicide, nobody would ever...

Oh right, the adepts and Vincent... The author nearly forgot about them...

A swarm of multicolored spheres gathered together onto one spot, and one at a time, the adepts fell face first onto the November soil. Creating a pile of main characters.

"Congratulations Vincent." Felix got up off the ground sweeping his clothes clean. "You just earned the 'person who can't teleport for crap' award."

"Gee, thanks Felix, I'm honored." Vincent replied with an obvious tone of sarcasm.

"Where is the mall anyway?" Sheba urgently asked. "I want to go shopping already!"

"Me too Sheba!" Jenna added into the complaints box. They took out picket signs and began to chant "Mall! Mall! Take us to the mall!" Over and over again.

"Guys will you just listen?! Vincent has something to say!" Isaac shouted, causing everyone to shut up.

"Alright, what do you got for us?" Picard insisted. "Hurry it up now, lets get this over with!"

"Thank you Isaac," Vincent thanked the Venus adept. "Now before we go into the mall, there are a few things I want to go over..." Vincent took out a pointer and a one of those roll-down overhead boards appeared behind him. "First off, there is a two-hour time limit we all have, we must finish shopping-"

"SHOPPING!!!" Sheba and Jenna squealed with anticipation.

"... Any way, get what you need within the two given hours." Vincent fiddled with the pointer. "Which brings up my next thing: The checklist for all of you to complete during your time in the mall." Spirit and Comet appeared in front of the adepts and distributed lists of tasks that the adepts needed to complete. "Item number one; seven sets of clothes, one for each day of the week." Ivan raised his hand. "Yes Ivan?" Vincent asked the young wind mage.

"Why aren't you wearing any pants?" He asked rather curiously.

The author's eye twitched. He forgot to mention that Vincent got out of his sleeping clothes. A loud 'BASH' noise could be heard on the reader's computers.

"... God dammit..." Vincent said while looking down at his next-to-naked legs. He took out the teleportation lapis. "I'll be right back, STAY HERE." Vincent vanished in the swarm of sphere thingies.

Jenna threw the check-list onto the street in rage, fuming steam from her ears. "This stinks!" Jenna crossed her arms and legs and gave out a frown. "ONLY seven pairs of clothes?! That's downright insane!"

"That's not the half of it." Sheba added. "Item number two says that we can only get ONE pair of... of..." Sheba squinted her eyes onto the list. "Tennis... Shoes?" Sheba pounded the list onto the ground. "You heard me right! ONE pair of whatchamacallit shoes!"

"I only have limited resources, so it's either that, or people call you ugly for the entire time you're here." Vincent reappeared behind the crowd(yes, wearing pants) suddenly, and he heard every word of their complaints. "Now back to the lecture... Thanks to Sheba, you all probably heard her complaints about the single pair of shoes, now onto the next item: Underwear, and like the clothes, you MUST get seven pairs of underwear, no higher, no lower." Vincent looked down at the checklist. "Lastly, you all have to blend into the crowd of the obsessed shoppers-"

"SHOPPING!" All of the girls squealed like rabid Ivan fan girls.

"...Thus you must not show your amazement of my modern world, people will catch on." Vincent looked at his crew of adepts. "I won't take any questions, let's just get this done so we can go home!" Vincent and the male adepts slowly approached the mall. "God help us all..."

"Tell me about it." Isaac commented. "Whenever I shop with my mom, we're usually gone for hours at a time." Isaac let out a shiver.

"What's the worst that could happen? A mall doesn't seem so bad!" Garet tried to raise the moral of the male adepts.

"GAH! Garet jinxed us!" Ivan panicked, beginning to run around in circles.

"Calm down Ivan!" Picard smacked Ivan on the head. Little white birdies started to fly around Ivan's head, and those birds were followed by stars. Ivan's eyes were little swirls, Ivan began ditzing around.

"Oh... Hi birdies..." Ivan twirled around in circles with his arms out, he began to flap them. "I'M A BIRDIE! WEEEEEE!!!!!" Ivan began to float in the air until he plummeted to the ground.

"..." Felix shook his head.

"Oh god..." Vincent slapped his forehead in stupidity.

"Come on! Hurry up!" Jenna shouted as she raced for the mall's entrance, the other females soon followed.

"We're coming! Settle down already!" Felix complained.

After everyone was in the mall, the adepts laid their eyes on the mall's glorious food court.

Garet was in heaven, the huge varieties of food made his mouth drool. Everybody that passed by him were grossed out by the waterfall of spit.

"Alright people, I will be splitting you all up in groups of 2 each and monitor each group frequently," Vincent announced. "I will now I will announce the groups..." Vincent took out a piece of paper and skimmed it.

"I just hope that Jenna doesn't end up with-" Felix was interrupted by a speaking Vincent.

"First group; Garet and Jenna!" Vincent announced to the adepts.

"God dammit!" Felix cursed. "Why did you pair up my sister with him?!"

"Trust me, the readers will get a good laugh." Vincent responded.

"Readers?"

"... Never mind." Vincent stuttered. "Next group! Felix and Picard!"

"Eh, not to bad, right Felix?" Picard said in a bright, cheery mood, slapping Felix on the back.

"... Right." Felix showed no emotion in his response, all too typical of Felix.

"Isaac and Mia!" Vincent smiled brightly, catching the attention of the adepts.

"What's with the smile?" Mia asked with her head slightly tilted to the right.

"Nothing." Vincent quickly put back on his serious face and read the last group assignment. "Ivan and Sheba!"

"Come on Ivan, lets ditch the gang and get to the stores!" Sheba offered, and by offered, she interpreted 'offered' as dragging-along-a-young-Jupiter-mage-to-the-depths-of-the-mall-for-two-hours. Sheba grabbed Ivan by his wrist and pulled him into one of the passing crowds.

"The poor soul..." Vincent lurched his head down, only to lift it back up after a quick breath of artificial mall air. "Anyway, if you guys need anything, feel free to come and find me, I'll be right here. Remember! Two hours!" Vincent had a seat on the ground. "Have a ball!" Everyone left the meeting-place to do the given tasks.

And with that note, we give you a poor excuse of a cliffhanger! ... Nah, just kidding, the author is evil, but not that evil.

But we'll skip ahead thirty minutes...

By this time, Picard and Felix had finished shopping for all of their items, they each carried 7 bags of clothes in their hands, they showed no pain or agony as they neared a seat.

Wait scratch that last part, they were in some serious pain. They both had their backs hunched. They desperately needed a place to sit.

Then; they found what they were trying to find: A bench, enough for two people. A heavenly light shimmered down at the bench. Felix and Picard quickly endured their pains and claimed that slice of wooden-heaven to themselves.

"FINALLY!" Picard complained as he slumped down his back in an arc, panting heavily, he gazed at the ceiling of the mall. "No wonder why Vincent stayed behind! He must hate this place!"

"Yeah, he had that kind of tone when he briefed us." Felix agreed with his buddy. His torso hunched over his legs, beads of sweat dropped onto the floor. Picard let out a little chuckle, Felix gave him an odd look. "What's so funny?"

"Ah nothing... 'Briefed'..." Picard answered Felix. He let out a tiring yawn. Picard and Felix. Seriously, the mall was nothing to joke about... Except maybe in fanfics, but that's a different story.

Anyway, Felix and Picard have been through a lot in only 30 minutes, and as most males know, 30 minutes in the mall was like 30 years... in slow-motion.

Letting out another sigh, Picard continued to look at the stone ceiling of the mall. He decided he would test out Felix's sense of philosophy... For some reason.

"Hey, Felix?" Picard asked.

"Yeah?" Felix simply answered Picard's question.

"You ever wonder why we're here?" Picard had done it, he had asked Felix a question, but not any normal question, THE question of questions of all questions... Maybe Felix would come up with the best answer ever to THE question.

"... You know Picard, I've been asking myself that a lot recently, why are we here?" Felix admitted. "I mean... Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence... Or is there really a person in the heavens that watches over everything?" Picard gave Felix a strange look. "I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night." Felix finished his answer, Picard had given an even stranger stare at his close friend. The silence of chapter one made it's return.

"..." Picard didn't say anything.

"..." Felix didn't say anything.

"..." Picard didn't change.

"..." Felix kept to his silence.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." The silence should end soon...

"..." Nope, guess not.

"..." The readers grew increasingly bored of this sequence.

"... What? I mean, why are we here? In this mall?" Picard finally broke the silence, clarifying his question. Felix, needless to say, felt incredibly stupid.

"Oh um..." Felix stuttered while looking down at the ground.

"What was with all that stuff about some guy in the heavens?" Picard asked another question.

"Nothing." Felix responded quickly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Seriously, as far as I can tell, we're only here because some guy that we saw in a tacky livingroom sent all of us, heros of Weyard, to a mall where we have to buy clothes to wear!" Picard ranted.

"Dude just stop talking, I get the picture." Felix butted in. "Let's just go find Vincent and get out of here." Felix got up from the bench and assimilated with the mall crowd.

"But I'm not done ranting yet!" Picard complained as he tried to follow Felix into the mobs.

Let's go check on Garet and Jenna, shall we?

"... OH! How about this? And maybe this and that and- Oh my god that is the cutest skirt I've ever seen! I have to try it on!" Jenna, by this time had fallen in love with the mall, Garet on the other hand, was in a total hell. Jenna reached for the items of clothing and ran into the dressing room, clothes flung out of the room and into Garet's arms.

Coincidentally, Vincent was walking by the same exact store on a patrol to check out the activities of the adepts. He didn't even see Garet, but Garet somehow saw Vincent and began... Kissing his feet?

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" He begged the teen, bowing and worshiping. "IT'S UNBEARABLE!"

"Garet." Vincent sighed. "You're going to have to deal with it. But shopping has it's good points." Vincent patted Garet's shoulder and pointed at the store on the other side of the mall.

Victoria's Secret.

"When you and Jenna walk in there, you are going to LOVE what they sell." Vincent slapped the back of Garet's head lightly.

"What do they sell?" Garet had a bolt of curiosity.

"You'll see." Vincent observed Jenna as she had an argument with the store clerk.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T ACCEPT COINS?!" Jenna slammed her fist on the desk. "I SPENT ALL THIS TIME FINDING THE CLOTHES I WANTED AND NOW I CAN'T BUY THEM?!" She continued her rant. Vincent let out a sigh and walked into the store.

"I'm sorry, but we only accept U.S. dollars," the clerk clarified.

"You won't even accept solid gold coins?" Vincent snatched Jenna's coin sack and placed it on the counter. He unfastened the string and showed the glory of the fictional currency that somehow materialized and gained some real sentimental value.

The clerk gasped. Whoever thought that would happen?

"Sold!" The clerk confirmed, grabbing a handful of coins and stuffing them in his pocket. Jenna took her clothes and ran up to Garet.

"Where next Garet?" Jenna asked.

Garet pointed at the heaven that is Victoria's Secret, a chorus singing "Hallelujah," could be heard. Wanting to get in this heaven, Garet towed Jenna into the store.

As soon Garet walked into the store, he fell in love with it's contents.

Women's underwear, nothing but lingerie was for sale, and he was going to see a hot adept dress in it, in other words, he was going to be a happy man watching Jenna walk around in lingerie.

For the next hour, Garet watched Jenna try on pair after pair of lingerie, and he loved it oh so much. Blood dripped from his nose whenever Jenna got out of the dressing room. Jenna walked out for the billionth time to show Garet her new outfit.

"How about this?" Jenna walked out wearing a sunshine orange bra with white horizontal stripes and a matching panty of the same pattern and colors.

"This is why I'd choose you over anyone else... You're so sexy..." A waterfall of blood came pouring down on the ground bellow. Garet ogled at Jenna's incredibly well-kept figure, but he focused on one specific region; the chest, home of the- "BOOBIES!!!!!" the author grew increasingly mad at Garet for stealing his description sequences.

Alas, happiness must come to an end. From who you ask? Someone that has a name that starts with "Fe" and ends with "lix."

If you were very over-protective of your sister, and you saw some pervert staring at your sister in nothing but her underwear, you think you'd get pissed? The answer is yes.

"GARET!!!!!" Felix went berserk, pouncing up into the air and began to charge at Garet like he did in chapter two, only not going into a slow-motion action sequence.

Big surprise; Garet didn't use his brain and Felix nailed Garet in the stomach with his fist, the force was so incredibly great that Garet was sent flying back in a twirling motion, this caused all the normal insignificant bystanders to flee the store. Garet finally hit the marble wall of the store, pieces of the marble shattered the glass windows on impact. The people outside the store panicked and got away ASAP.

"Felix! Control yourself!" Vincent ran in and tried to restrain Felix from mauling Garet. Vincent tightly gripped Felix from behind, slipping his arms under his armpits and across his shoulders.

"LET ME GO!" Felix fumed at the Golden Sun nerd. "NOBODY LOOKS AT MY SISTER LIKE THAT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Garet screamed like a girl and turned around to avert the look of Felix's eyes.

"Don't hurt me!" Garet begged, going up to Felix's feet and bowing down as if Felix were some heavenly deity. Felix violently pulled on Garet's ridiculous hair. Garet screamed again.

"Felix..." A deep voice could be heard from right where Jenna was standing, was it the devil? "Let go of him, NOW!!!" Come to think of it... It WAS Jenna, flames were rising from her body.

"Why should I?" Felix defended his cause. "Garet will just keep eyeing you if I let him go!"

"LET GO OF HIM NOW!" Jenna slowly cracked her knuckles in intimidation.

Shockingly, it worked. Felix nearly wet himself when he heard Jenna's knuckles crack. Letting go of Garet, he fled the scene. Jenna could finally calm down.

But did she? No. She walked over to Garet who was still laying on the floor of the store. She lifted her left leg up high into the air and unleashed a fury of kicks onto the Mars adept.

"WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?!" Jenna continued her onslaught on Garet. "DON'T YOU HAVE A SPINE OR SOMETHING?! YOU COULD'VE TAKEN HIM OUT EASY!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Garet ducked for cover from the kicks. "STOP HURTING ME!"

Vincent shook his head and walked out of the store to check on the others.

Ivan and Sheba were up to nothing exciting, so the author decided to fill in the plot-holes later, so he decided to check on the FAR more interesting pair of Isaac and Mia!

The populous has reached record numbers at the mall, people shuffled from store to store with family, friends, love interests... Adepts. Yup, when you get nine people with psychic powers that can destroy the world, you can just imagine the safety of those innocent bystanders!

Isaac and Mia were just about to wrap up their so far normal trip for the garments, they were a few stores away from the food court, and the normal would turn into... Something that the author couldn't find a simple word to describe the future events of the chapter.

Anyway, Isaac and Mia were just walking along with their bags of merchandise, finished with their shopping, they were proceeding to the food court when...

"Dayum! Check out da blue hair!" Some random gangster wanna-be pointed out Mia's abnormal hair color. And people didn't seem to pay any attention to the wanna-be, or his statement. A REAL gangster, with some resemblance to Al Capone walked up to the kid and patted his left shoulder.

"You ain't gonna do spit when you talk like that boy." The gangster removed his hand from the aspiring gangster. "Watch an' learn, ya see?" The older gangster pointed at Mia with his worn out paws. "Look at da girl with the blue hair! It's worthy of your attention!" As soon as the gangster's words were finished, random people started taking pictures of the two adepts, and asking them questions. The flashing lights fluttered the eye-sight of the adepts, and disrupted their vision, they tried the hardest they could to escape the mass of camera-men and news paper reporters, but to no end the mob followed their movements like a super-spy with a boatload of tracking equipment.

"Isaac... I want to get out of this place... These lights and people aren't making me feel uncomfortable..." Mia pleaded to her shopping partner.

"I know how you feel," Isaac latched his left hand onto Mia's delicate right hand. Mia gave off a slight blush on her cheeks, as she was pulled away by Isaac.

This... Feeling it... It seems- Mia's thoughts on Isaac's grip on her hand were halted when Mia was let go of. She nearly slammed into the door after she was released, but why did Isaac disrupt this Mudshipping fluff sequence? He knows that the author doesn't like the Mudshipping love to stop!

"Get outside, I'll hold them off," Isaac turned his back on Mia as she gazed at him in surprise.

"What..?" Mia was shocked, the leader of the group was going to sacrifice himself before the other party members? Mia was touched, First the hand and now this heroic act? "Isaac..."

"Don't worry about me," Isaac gave Mia a quick thumbs up in the air. "I'm going to join you soon, and that's a promise!" Isaac turned his head to face Mia and gave a warm, promising smile to her. This caused Mia to blush slightly, and she viewed the glance. A dramatic wind blew their hair around wildly. This cheesy, but effective technique gave some of the readers a good laugh.

Anyway, Mia smiled back and gave a light nod to Isaac. She exited out of the mall and ran out of sight from the crowd.

"Now it's time to get these guys away..." Isaac took a deep breath and did a few quick stretches to warm up his body. Did Isaac have a plan?

Apparently not, Isaac dramatically charged at the crowd, pulling back his fist, Isaac put in a little bit of psynergy into his blow. The crowd started to worry, slowly backing off, they grew weary of the adept's powers. Could this drive off the mob once and for all?

Nope, it didn't, for one reason:

Isaac slipped on a banana peel, a comically misplaced banana peel at that.

And thus begins a slow-motion tripping sequence.

Oh crap. Isaac simply thought in his head, he landed flat on his face. Everyone in the vicinity stared at the comical act. The people who stayed silent then began to burst out laughing, and Isaac felt ashamed. Mia quickly knelt down near Isaac's side. "Mia, let's just get out of this place away from these people... I feel like an idiot..."

"You looked like one too!" A familiar voice rang.

Isaac looked for the voice's speaker, still laying on the ground, Isaac lifted himself up onto two legs to get a better searching range.

Vincent, and each of the other adepts were standing right in front of the Venus and Mercury adepts.

"Get outside, we're all done."

Since the author felt like cutting some corners, he decided not to describe the teleportation sequence, and placed all of the significant characters back in Vincent's house.

At this time, the girls were sharing what they've bought during the time they spent at the mall. The guys on the other hand were discussing some adept things that weren't significant enough to be mentioned in the story-line.

Vincent however was on the internet, deciding to check on role-plays he was in, discuss certain issues on forums he was active on, and most importantly, look for some funny videos to watch on YouTube.

However, something on the front page caught his eye rather quickly.

A video featuring a tripping Isaac.

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FINALLY! I'm done with this chapter! But now, I'd like to make some notes on this chapter in particular...

1.) This was solely the most difficult chapter for me to think up of a plot for, I hope all this effort was worth it.

2.) I have made one specific internet reference in one of the jokes, find it, and you'll get a cookie.

3.) Yes, West Town Mall IS an actual place, and for me, it is Hell on Earth.

One last(not to mention important) note I'd like all of my readers to pay attention to:

STARTING THIS CHAPTER, I WILL EXPECT AT LEAST THREE DETAILED REVIEWS ON MY MOST RECENTLY UPDATED CHAPTERS. FAIL TO MEET THESE REQUIREMENTS MEANS THAT YOU WON'T GET A CHAPTER UNTIL I GET THREE REVIEWS!

Flamers will be pwnt on sight.