-I don't own Gravitation. So now Shuichi and Suguru are friends. And Shuichi is going to talk to Hiro for the first time in about 3 days. Let's see what he said. –
Chapter 4- Die!
I can't believe it. I can't freaking believe it! Shindo-san nods when I ask if it's true. It's from Nakano-san's mouth these words. The words that I wish weren't true. He's back together with Ayaka.
Apparently, she gave him a huge love confession or something and he fell back in love with her. I seriously think that everything that comes out of that bitch's mouth is fake. I know that's a mean thing to say but I really don't like her.
When she first went out with Nakano-san he was just a filler until Yuki-san came back to her. Yuki-san fell in love with Shindo-san, so she lost him. She lied and said she loved Nakano-san so much, but I knew that she was lying.
When they broke up it hurt Nakano-san a lot. He missed a couple days of work, and when he came back he didn't do that well with his practicing. I knew he was depressed. I comforted him, Shindo-san did too.
Now that I think about it was I just a filler? Was I rebound boy? Just the person he just had until Ayaka revealed her true love to him? Was I all that? I'm mad. I'm really mad…
But at work I have to act civil. I have to act like I'm not still in love with him, which I'm not. I'm just mad!!
Shindo-san asks if I'm alright. I say that I am and I laugh a little. I really feel like killing someone. Or going to bed and crying myself to sleep. Either one is what I really want to do, but I can't because Shindo-san is walking me to work. And I really don't want to explain my feelings to him, again.
That's just the type of person I am. I bottle it up and finally when I'm alone I let it all out. I just can't let my feelings out in front of people. Most of my life I was solitary, so my mind set is still on that.
When we get into work, Nakano-san is happy. He hasn't looked this happy since about 5 days ago when we fell asleep in each other's arms for the last time.
I say "hey" to him and make my way to my keyboard. Shindo-san says "hey" as well and talks to him for a little while.
The conversation lasted about a minute and a half, no more than that. Then after it, Shindo-san goes behind his mike and we start to practice. K-san and Sakano-san look pleased standing at the door, "seeing us boys finally pull ourselves together and doing work. (K-san's words)." Sakano-san agrees that is a good thing.
Behind my keyboard, I don't think of Nakano-san. I think of want key that I have to press to make this song sound right. I remember when I first liked him; I always messed up on the songs because I was staring into his eyes. Now I'm just staring at the keys and occasionally looking at Shindo-san for a cue.
And every time that I look into Nakano-san's eyes now, I feel hate and not love. There are no butterflies in my stomach. There's only daggers left in my heart from what he did to me, and there's somehow a new one stabbing me every day. Today's new pain hurts almost as bad as the day that he dumped me. Once practice is finished, everyone leaves the room. Shindo-san has to rush home to Yuki-san because he's in a good mood today. Sakano-san is going to see Seguchi-san. And K-san is going home to polish his guns. All that is left in the room is Nakano-san and I.
He walks up to me and says, "Good practice today huh?"
I agree with him, but only nod. I don't say anything to him. I just try to leave there as soon as possible.
Nakano-san keeps on talking. "So how are you?" he says.
I bite my lip and reply, "Fine." I keep it short. I want to leave but my papers are all out of control and not going in to my bag the right way.
"Umm…" Nakano-san says uncomfortably, "You and Shuichi are hanging out now?" I can tell he wants this convocation not to die.
"Yes." I say still trying to get the papers in my bag the right way. This is so awkward. I just want him to stop talking to me, so I could leave and go home and do whatever I do.
"That's cool." He responds, "We haven't hung out in a while." I couldn't tell if he was talking about us or me and Shindo-san. "All three of us should hang out some time."
I have no idea why, but that made me crack. "It'll be fun." He says still trying to keep the convocation and this friendship alive. I didn't want either to be alive.
"I'm sorry Nakano-san." I say calmly, "I honestly hate you now. I kinda rather die than hang out with you, at all. I'm truly sorry. We can still be band mates. And that's ALL we're being."
Nakano-san has a look of complete shock on his face. I was surprised at myself too. I said that I rather die than to hang out with him.
I just leave the room with my bag all disarray and I start to go home. I leave Nakano-san with his shocked face. I just shut the door behind myself and walk to the elevator.
I can't believe. I can't freaking believe it. I said that I hated him. I said it to his face. The man that I once loved. The man that I now hate. He knows that I hate him He knows that I rather die than to hang out with him and Shindo-san. I will hang out with Shindo-san on my own. I just can't believe I did that.
-Originally Suguru was going to tell Hiro to go die. But I a) thought it was too mean and b) couldn't really fit it in here. So if you like this chapter please review! Next chapter will be up soon!-
