Chapter Four

I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to get back to the Cullen's. I could walk—although that would probably upset Edward. I knew that as soon as Alice could see me safely away from La Push, she'd send Edward after me. Although—that wouldn't necessarily be a good thing. I needed to think about what I was going to say to him. I realized that I wanted him to decide to stay here. I wasn't ready to leave Forks behind. At the same time though, if he still left, I'd gladly leave with him. I'd already tried to live without him once—I wouldn't—I couldn't do it again.

I could feel the fault-line in my crack heart ache at the thought of losing him again. I felt the tears prick at my eyelids, as I became overwhelmed with the thought that maybe he didn't want to wait for me. That maybe he would use me going to see Jacob as a reason to leave without me. Through my tear blurred eyes I spotted a sliver car in the distance. I knew that I had to be closing in on the vampire-werewolf treaty line. I didn't quite know what to expect. Would he be upset that I went to see Jacob? Would he care?

I took a deep breath, when I saw the driver-side door open. I watched as Edward fluidly removed himself from the Volvo, and came to stand in front of it. His arms crossed in front of him. His expression nearly impossible to read.

"Are you upset?" I asked. While human ears wouldn't have been able to hear my weak and feeble voice from this distance—I knew he could.

"No."

I sighed, as I grew closer. His face was expressionless, but his eyes held a sadness to them. I was scared now. Had the pack attacked while I was visiting Jacob? Was that his secret plan? Had someone been hurt—or worse?

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes already wide with the terror that I knew awaited me.

"Do you not have something to discuss with me?" he asked, his voice was void of any emotion.

This concerned me. The last time he had acted this way, he left me. I noticed that my body was shaking, as I collapsed into his arms, tears streaking down my face.

"Don't leave me—please!" I begged, my voice breaking under the sobs.

"Leave you? Why would I do that?" he asked, his voice was now worried and concerned.

"The last time you—acted like this—you left--"

"Look at me love--" his voice trailed off as he placed his thumb carefully under my chin so I would look at him. "I am not leaving you. I promised you I wouldn't do that again. You said you wanted to leave with me—that is still the plan. It's just—Alice said that you were debating how to tell me—Do you wanna stay here—with Jacob?"

"You think I want—Jacob?" my voice sounded like I said something dirty—something wrong.

"Don't you?" he asked, his voice careful, his face was expressionless again.

While he'd never admit it—he secretly wanted me to say yes. So that he wouldn't put my life in danger.

"No! Jake's my friend Edward—that's all. I want you, always. I love you Edward. There is—something I would like to talk about though," I sighed, I was not having this conversation on the side of the road though--

"I'm listening," his voice sounded almost—relieved.

"Not here—please," I begged quietly.

He simply shook his head softly, as he put his arm around my back and led me to the passenger side seat. He opened, and closed the door for me—like always.


The ride back to his house was quiet. He held my hand the entire time, his thumbs rubbing cold little circles on the back of it. My head leaned back onto the headrest, as I sighed in contentment. I knew if I did leave with him—I'd still be happy—he makes me happy.

"Love—we're home," he smiled at the meaning, and before I could smile back at him, he was already out of the car, and opening my door for me.

"Thanks," I smiled sheepishly at him.

"Not a problem love," his crooked smile beamed in the rare sunlight, and I felt my mind growing foggy as it usually did when I was near him.

Holding my hand, he led me into the house, where everyone was waiting. Looks of concern and worry laced every face. Esme glided forward, kissing my forehead.

"Are you okay dear?" she asked me. I knew my face held a look of confusion.

"Yeah."

"What's up?" Alice's wind chime voice broke in.

"I'm not sure—Bella hasn't told me yet," he answered carefully.

Everyone stared at me—waiting for me to say what I wasn't sure I could say to Edward in private.

"Jacob--" I heard a low growl break from someone's chest, and I knew it wasn't Edward. "Promised that the pack wasn't going to attack. He wanted to apologize for what he did—He promised that none of you are in danger. You don't have to leave Edward."

The last part was a mere whisper. I was looking at the floor, afraid to meet the eyes of the vampires in front of me.

"Bella—love. He was just using you. He only told you that so that we would put our guard down. He wants us to be at our weakest. He wants his pack to kill us Bella, love."

My knees felt weak, my eyes were wide. Everything Edward said made perfect sense. Why would Jacob promise to not attack someone he hated so very much? That was too much for me to take in though. The very vivid picture of the horse sized wolves tearing my family to shreds. Watching them die—my world went black almost instantly.