Sorry it's been so long, I got kicked off the computer for two weeks. It depressed me.

Before I start this chapter, could I ask you to review? Please???? Because I've gotten over seventy visitors to this story, which I know isn't all that great, but as this is my first fanfic (actually posted, anyway), it makes me really happy. But for all of those people who read it, I've only had ONE review. So please, tell me if you like it! Anyway, here we go with Chapter 4:

I could hear the smile in Bella's voice when she pressed her lips to mine again and said, "Give me a moment to work up to it." Her scent assailed me, pounding against my self-control again and again, slowly breaking away a piece of it each time until nothing was left but the monster, roaring to attack. I knew that I should stop this now, but my body seemed to have detached from my brain. It had waited an entire forty-eight hours without seeing her face, without touching her, and now it would satiate its hunger before succumbing to me again.

I locked my fingers into her loose hair flowing down her back, and my tone was heady when I murmured, "I'll wait as long as you want," and kissed her feverishly again.

Her breath started coming in gasps, louder than usual. It seemed especially magnified in the quiet darkness of the room. "Maybe in the morning."

"Whatever you prefer," I told her. How much I hoped her preference would be never! - but now it seemed like that would be case, as we were a few minutes into our reunion already and she had made no remark pertaining to my behavior. I would apologize for that in a moment, but I had more pressing matters to deal with - such as feeling her body under my hands.

"Welcome home," she whispered well I kissed her neck, right where her pulse pounded faster than usual. How easily I welcomed the pain - embraced it even! "I'm glad you came back."

So am I, I thought, but instead I said, "That's a very good thing."

Her arms tightened around me, and again my hand seemed to take on a mind of its own - ignoring all attempts of mine to stop it. I can't do this! This is too much! my mind screamed at me as my independent hand trailed its way to her calf and grabbed it, pulling it over my hip.

What was I doing? I didn't know myself. All I knew that it was pleasing Bella, whose breaths had suddenly stopped, then started again with shaky irregularity, and scaring myself. If I couldn't control my body's actions, how could I possibly control my teeth, ones that could sink themselves as easily into Bella as they could in the bed, with less time than it would take to stop myself?

Which reminded me….

"Not to bring the ire on prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed you object to?"

The words were partly a distraction, to stop me from going farther than we had ever gone before, but instead they had the opposite effect: my body, now a stranger to me, pulled her on top of me. It had enough sense not to kiss her lips - maybe it knew that would have disastrous results - but instead her throat. My hands were against her warm, flushed cheeks. I could see her eyes, bright in the darkness.

When she didn't answer, I prompted her again. "The bed? I think it's nice."

The phrase 'the bed' brought another wave of lust upon me, as I thought about what beds were for - especially honeymoon beds.

Again acting without my permission, my body was on top of hers. Luckily, it held itself, hovering just enough above her so as not to crush her bones. Her heart accelerated in rhythm, increased in volume

"That's debatable," I said, in words that were not my own. "This would be difficult on a couch." What was I doing? Egging on my already too-enthusiastic body! Egging on Bella - who needed no encouragement as it was to go farther. She must be loving every moment of this - but confused, as well.

I very rarely opened my mouth while kissing Bella, but why should my carefully laid-out rules stop me tonight, when I had already broken every set boundary?

Sure enough, as I knew she would, Bella gasped out, "Did you change your mind?"

I had never specifically tabooed sex, but it must have seemed obvious that it would not be allowed. I thought it interesting word choice on her part, though.

Suddenly, I was back in control of my body with an almost frightening speed - the undeniable consequences of my actions were going to be bitter - stopping myself now, when I had given myself a perfect opening to continue.

With a sigh, I forced myself away from her and shattered her dreams in one moment. "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like," I lied. "Don't get carried away." I found it an awful double standard to be chastising her for getting carried away when I had done so myself only a few moments earlier.

"Too late," she said to me, and then added as an afterthought, "And I like the bed."

"Good," I said, and I leaned down to her kiss her forehead, all the lust of the previous moments gone. Even her next comment didn't ignite it again.

"But I still think it's unnecessary. If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?"

I thought about pointing out that there was a point to sleeping in a bed rather than on a couch, even if you weren't with someone, but thought better of it. That would only lead to more discussions of why there couldn't be more than one person in the bed, though she knew that answer already. Best just to head it off at the beginning.

"For the hundredth time, Bella - it's too dangerous."

"I like danger," she pointed out.

Which, of course, brought back the memory of all the dangerous things she had done while I had been away - from visiting Jacob to riding her motorcycle. I opened my mouth to tell her this, but she spoke first.

"I'll tell you what's dangerous. I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days, and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

I didn't know how to respond to that, but I pushed her away, improvising when she spoke.

"What are you doing?"

"Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you…"

"I can handle it." She tried to force her way back against my chest, and I, of course, let her. I wasn't in the mood for teasing. And now I had another apology to make, besides the first one.

"I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I didn't mean to make you unhappy. That wasn't nice."

"Actually, it was very, very nice."

This presented the perfect opportunity to apologize ( "Maybe, but what wasn't nice was…."), and I took a deep breath to start, but I chickened out at the last minute. It wasn't that I wasn't sure I was completely sorry, it was just I didn't want to bring up the topic of conversation. It meant telling her certain a certain resolve, and it meant facing her fury.

"Aren't you tired? I should let you sleep."

"No, I'm not. I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again."

Was there no rest? Could she not stop hounding me for a second? Couldn't she see that I barely had the strength to control my own body, much less say no to her? Of course, maybe that was the point… whatever the reason, I kept my tone light.

"That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away."

"Yes, I am."

I laughed darkly. If only she knew the real cause of the sexuality moments before… "You have no idea, Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

Here it was. Another opportunity. This time, I would go through with it. I steeled myself mentally. "Can I apologize?"

"For what?"

And here another question presented itself. Do I tell apologize for keeping her hostage first, or for not letting her see Jacob? I knew which would be easier….

"You were angry with me, remember?" I hedged.

"Oh, that."

Here we go….

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here. I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it."

"Didn't you find any mountain lions?" So she wasn't mad? At this part, anyway….

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea." My brain had linked itself back to her safety so many times in so many bizarre ways over the weekend it wasn't even funny. Like when Emmett had been draining a mountain lion, and I had had a sudden vision of last spring, when I had seen James bending over her in such a way…. The memory had made me shudder, which of course brought endless ribbing from Emmett.

"Yes," she said.

"I won't do it again," I promised.

"Okay. But slumber parties do have their advantages…You can hold me hostage any time you want."

I wondered if she even realized how many comments she made with suggestive content.

I sighed, wondering what the consequences would be like if I finally did what she wanted. Disastrous, no doubt.

"I may take you up on that."

"So is it my turn now?"

"Your turn?" To what?

"To apologize."

What could she possibly have to apologize for? Everything that had happened this weekend was the result of my judgment; therefore, it was my fault. It reminded me of Newton's Third Law of Motion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Everything I did in her supposed best interest always backfired. Every time.

I was an idiot.

There. That was longer, to make up for the last one.