It took her a few minutes to open the door. It was late; he worried about waking her. As the minutes passed, he started second guessing himself. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. It was late and he'd been drinking. Just as he'd talked himself into leaving, the door opened.
"McGee? What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in? We need to talk, Abby."
She looked for a moment like she was about to protest, but something in his expression must have changed her mind. She stepped back, letting him into her apartment.
Now that he was here, he didn't know how to start. They'd never talked about their relationship, not really. The closest they'd ever come was a twenty second conversation in her lab, the night after he'd read a poem that he'd written for her. He cringed inwardly at the memory. That conversation hadn't gone well.
She was watching him, uncharacteristically silent. It was slightly unnerving. The alcohol he'd consumed was playing with his mind, as if the words were skipping the step of being thought about before being spoken.
"Why are you so scared of having a real relationship, Abby?"
It wasn't what he'd intended to say; from the look on her face, she hadn't expected him to be quite so blunt either. It took her a moment to find her voice.
"You said... you said no strings."
"No, you said that" he pointed out.
"And you agreed, Tim."
"Because that's what you wanted!"
That made her pause. He could tell that she'd assumed that because he'd agreed, he wanted the same things she wanted. And that was his fault... he could have said something then, three weeks ago, instead of letting things get to this point.
More gently than he had before, he asked again.
"Why are you scared, Abs?"
"Strings can be pulled."
He thought that he'd never heard anything so sad in his life.
"Oh Abby, is that what it is? You're afraid of someone trying to control you?" He paused. "I'd never do that, Abs. Don't you know that?"
She nodded a little.
"I love you, Abby. And I just need to know...if there's any chance you could want a real relationship with me... strings and all."
...
He took her completely by surprise. How had she never realised that this was how Tim felt about her? Was she really that blind? Unwittingly she took a step back, shaking her head slightly.
She caught a glimpse of the devastation in his eyes as he turned away, muttering something inaudible as he walked out the door.
She unfroze after a moment, rushing outside to see if she could catch him. But she was too late. He was gone.
...
He saw her recoil, saw the denial in her eyes, and knew he had his answer. Abby didn't love him; distantly, he'd already known that. But having it confirmed... it hurt like hell. Unwilling to let her see how much he was hurting, he turned and reached for the doorknob. Mumbling an apology for barging in on her, he left her apartment as abruptly as he'd arrived, walking with quick strides to the outer door. There was a cab cruising slowly down the street in front of her building; he flagged it down, giving the cabbie his address.
He managed to control his emotions until he got upstairs to his apartment. Then he buried his face in Jethro's fur and cried.
