Please don't hurt me

i am really sorry for taking so long to update, i had a massive load of coursework dumped on me and i am currently struggling to keep my head above water--so to speak. please be patient and i do promise your suffering won't be in vain.

having said that i would like to thank everyone who has reveiwed for all your nice kind happy words of encouragement, please do keep that up--i need cheering up right now. :(


Chapter 4: Envy

Catherine's POV

Huh? Did that just happen? Well it did just happen, obviously…but it's taking a while for my brain to process it. Nick was scoping out girls for Sara, that means that Sara likes girls, and he knew that. Why didn't I know that? When did she tell him that? Why didn't she tell me? Oh right—the whole 'I hate your guts' thing I had going. I so don't hate her guts. I love her guts, though I don't know if its love, and it's not like I want to see her guts. That's just gross. Grosser than Grissom's bugs—I had a case like that, with the woman's guts everywhere, not pretty. But we solved it, and he's in jail now, must remember that else I get shivers crawling across my skin.

But Sara likes girls, and I'm a girl, and Gris isn't. I'm liking this new development. This could open up so many possibilities, well I'm really only interested in one and it ends up with me and Sara in my room minus clothes. My hands running all over her body, me tasting her and watching her as I repeat what has been happening in my dreams for as long as I've known her. Listening to her scream my name and screaming her name when she makes me cum.

Sara likes girls!

And Grissom's not a girl. Unless he got a sex change, but that would be just weird, and no one want to think about that. Just too gross. But Sara might be bi, they never said she wasn't bi, fuck. She might still like Grissom, I'm not liking where this train of though is going. If she's bi then she might prefer Nick or Greg, it would be better losing out to them than to Grissom, but only barely. Especially if it's Greg, because even though he's closer to her age and they have a lot in common, it's Greg!

Well I'm happy, Sara likes girls. Good development, step forward here. Well at least I'm liking this development until Sara gets up and asks that bimbo to dance. Did she forget about our dance? Cause I sure as hell haven't. I can feel the anger start to boil up in me. No—not anger, jealousy. Pure green envy. I want to be her. I want to be the one pressing my body up against Sara, and I want to be the one who has Sara's hands running over my body. That's just not fair.

And now I'm pissed off at Nick, because he pressed Sara to ask Her to dance, and I could just about throttle Greg with the way he's looking at Sara. I know I'm looking at Sara in almost the exact same way and that scares me like hell. Fuck, I'm turning into Greg, the next thing you know I'm going to turn up to work without brushing my hair wearing jeans and a tee. And I'm going to be singing strange rock songs under my breath and I'll be making goofy jokes and buying expensive coffee. But then again, that coffee is good. Greg's coffee is the best, absolute top of the range, though how he can tell the difference between it and the cheap stuff the rest of us drink I don't know—he puts that much sugar in the mug.

Maybe that's where he gets all his energy, from too much sugar. Still, that gives him no right to stare at Sara like that, just like I have no right but I am anyway. Damn the way she moves that sexy arse of hers. How dare that slut touch her. I am going to scream in a minute. And I can feel the muscles in my face aching from glaring so much. I tell you if looks could kill she would be so dead right now, I have seen enough bodies to know the most gruesome way to kill someone, and if I was assured of not going to jail and not getting any mess on me I would be using one of those ways right now. Jealousy should be a viable excuse for homicide. Or at least have equal stature with the insanity plea. I know I won't think like this in the morning but the rage boiling through my brain and the alcohol in my veins had other ideas.

I want Sara. She's so sexy. But she is dancing with a slapper she just met. Oh God—look at her smile when that tart runs her hands up Sara's spine. I can feel a bitter taste in my mouth, like lemons but drier. I took a swig of my beer, hoping to get drunk enough to wipe the images from my mind, maybe I won't remember this in the morning. But I doubt it.

"Hey Warrick, wanna dance?" I asked him suddenly, leaning closer to him so he could hear me.

"I dunno Cathy, you're pretty drunk and I'm pretty drunk and I'm supposed to be getting married in the morning." He chuckled as though it was funny. I didn't hear anything funny, though Warrick has a weird sense of humour, and he is an amused drunk, everything becomes funny, you ask him if he wants coffee and he'll crack up.

"Oi, don't all me Cathy" I protested, I hate that name, only my sister uses it, and sometimes Sam.

"C'mon Rick, it's only a dance, and if you two get too friendly I'll break up the party" Nick assured us and Warrick nodded.

"Righto, about that dance Catherine" he started laughing and he got up, extending his hand towards me. I took it and headed out on the dance floor, never one to sit back and watch the fun. I really think if I see that woman again I am going to slap her.

Sara's POV

This is fun, I'm having fun. She's pretty, her name is Kendall, and she seems like she's into me. She leaned in close and told me I had a cute smile. I've been told that a bit, and I don't understand how people can think that. I have a huge gap between my two font teeth, do they not see that? How can they not see that?

But yeah, I'm, having fun. At least I was, until I saw Catherine and Warrick come onto the dance floor, then all I can do is watch them over Kendall's shoulder, she's dancing up against him and his hands are on her body. Damn I want to hit him.

Those should me my hands. Ironically I had my hands running over her body before, but I know that she wouldn't want more than that. Hell, she's probably freaked out now that she knows I'm gay, I'm still surprised she hasn't come and slapped me.

The song finishes and Kendall smiles at me, "Since you asked to dance, can I buy you a drink?"

"Err—sure" I smiled too, forcing myself not to look Catherine's way. She took my hand and led me over to the bar.

"So Sara, how come I haven't seen you in here before?" she sat down on one of the bar stools and I sat on the one beside her. The bartender took our orders and then I turned back to answer.

"I've only been here a few times" I shrugged. I was facing in the direction of the dance floor and I could still see Catherine and Warrick and I was a little distracted. My heart was pounding in my head and I had a sudden urge to go over there and pull Catherine in for a heated kiss. Damn, the way she moves her body, I think I'm going to overheat soon.

"Mmm—me too. But I'm thinking I should start coming here more often" she winked at me and I flushed. So she's a sweet talker, I can handle that.

"Well I'm certainly glad I turned up tonight", I winked back. So I can be a sweet talker too.

"I'm glad you turned up too, so, what do you do?"

"Civil service" I replied rolling my eyes, I wasn't really quite ready to tell her I was a CSI because that usually leads to awkward questions about blood and gore and death and I really want to try and avoid that tonight. "What about you?"

"Greeter at a casino, pays good money" she shrugged, almost as if she was embarrassed about her job.

"Who's your boss?" I asked. "Only I might know him"

"Sam Braun" she replied, looking interested.

"Yeah? I work with his daughter, Catherine" I nodded over to Catherine who was still dancing with Warrick.

"That's his daughter?" she asked incredulously, "She's gorgeous" tell me about it, and she's dancing with Warrick. Not me this time. I still want to hurt him. "And she's a civil servant, did he disown her or something?"

"No, but I think she only found out recently" I felt uncomfortable discussing Catherine with Kendall and I tried to think of another topic of conversation. I could see Kendall was staring at Catherine, but it seemed to me as though she was studying her rather than anything else.

"Sam talks about her all the time. He's always saying how wonderful she is, and how beautiful and talented. I am totally in awe." She shook her head and turned back to me, "You said you worked with her, that means you must be a CSI, unless you're a lab tech" she looks sly, damn she looks like Catherine does when she's determined to wheedle something out of me. There I go, thinking about Catherine again, I really have to get her off the brain. Think about something else, or I am going to go over there and punch Warrick.

"Yeah, I'm a CSI" I shrugged, it's no biggie.

"That's so cool, that's just—"

"Watch it" I turned in horror to see that Kendall had just spilt her red wine all over Catherine's top. Her pale pink top, which I have never seen before so I'm assuming is new. Shit.

"Oh my God—I am so sorry—"

"So you should be, do you have any idea how hard this is going to be to get out?" Catherine shouted at her, God, why was she being so mean?

"I'm sorry—I'll pay for the dry cleaning and—"

"Dry cleaning won't get this out" Catherine snapped, she turned to Warrick and sighed, "Sorry Rick, I think I'll be leaving early" her voice was clipped and she still looked furious. She stormed out the bar and I was left gaping. What the hell was that about?

"Wow" Kendall sighed sitting back down, she studied me carefully and smiled wryly, "I would say 'what a bitch' but Sam would kill me, and you might too" she looked back at her drink.

"What? No I wouldn't, she deserved it" oh my God, I did not just say that. Fuck.

She laughed, "I'm flattered, but I saw how you were looking at her. You like her don't you?"

"Umm—a bit, but she's straight and I don't want to wreck our friendship" I sighed, "I'm sorry"

"Nah, I get that. She's gorgeous. And I'm sure she's not that mean to everyone" Kendall is amazing, God if I ever decide I'm moving on from Catherine and Heather isn't yet available I'm gonna have to look up her number. She is being so understanding, I wouldn't be so great in her situation.

"I should go talk to her" I sighed and thanked her for the drink before I followed Catherine. I bumped into Warrick on my way and gave him a glare.

He just chuckled and said, "Watch the Evil Eyes Sar, someone might get hurt" before he headed up to the bar to get more drinks.


as said before, please reveiw, because i really need cheering up right now (and i am being serious, i'm not trrying to guilt trip you into a reveiw, i swear)