Author's note: Hi all! First of thank you to those of you who followed/faved/and especially reviewed the first 3 chapters! It means a ton. 3 Also sorry this chapter took a bit longer than I anticipated. It started out slightly differently.
Summary: This is from Mary's point of view and focuses on her decisions about the baby's future and Mark's role in that future... I won't say anymore.
Rating: T - mild swearing I think that's it
Disclaimer: I own nothing - no characters no nothing. All rights to the proper people.
Reviews are always lovely ! Enjoy!
She woke from a nap and smiled at Marshall's sleeping figure. Reflexively, she began to stroke his hair, which was uncharacteristically messy; the product he'd put in the day of the wedding had long since worn off. He stirred under her touch.
"Marshall?" she whispered.
"Right here, Mare," He said lifting his head, making sure to keep in range of her hand. "Need something?"
Mary felt his gaze probing far an answer when she didn't immediately respond. She chewed on her lip not wanting to voice her fears aloud. Unsurprisingly, Marshall knew what she wanted.
"The baby's fine," He said softly and Mary couldn't believe the sense of release she felt. The nurses hadn't been able to tell her anything. "She's going to live a perfectly normal and healthy life."
"Thank God," she bit her lip again. "I guess it's time for me to start making decisions for this kid."
He squeezed her hand sympathetically.
"Do you want to see her?"
She hesitated, unsure of what she wanted. Finally she nodded.
"Okay, I'll talk to the doctors. I'll be right back."
He kissed her forehead briefly, before leaving to find the doctor. Mary watched him walk away, feeling guilty about asking him to kiss her the previous night. He was with Abigail, she'd had no right to do that, even though she desperately wanted him to kiss her again. But for the moment she pushed those thoughts aside. Only one thing had her attention, her daughter. And she knew in her heart that she couldn't give her up.
Marshall returned a few minutes later, wheelchair in tow.
"I'll take you now."
She started to get up and winced and groaned.
"Easy there."
His hands moved surely as he helped her into the wheelchair; his touch soothed her.
They were halfway to the NICU when her guilt got the best of her.
"Marshall…"
"Yeah, Mare?"
She considered bringing up the kiss, but chickened out, opting for an easier route.
"You can go home you know. Abigail must be missing you." There was silence, and Mary wished she could see his face. "Marshall"
"Abigail and I broke up."
"Oh." Mary couldn't find the right words. "I'm sorry," she lied.
"I'm not," he whispered. "I couldn't give her my heart. It's already taken."
Her own heart skipped a beat, did that mean he still loved her? Hope swelled, and she was smiling when they reached the NICU.
Marshall helped her up so she could look in, firmly wrapping his arm around her waist.
"There she is." He pointed to the baby girl right in front of them.
Mary would have known her anywhere. The green eyes were a dead giveaway. Mary stared at her daughter while her daughter stared back at her.
"She's beautiful," she breathed.
"Just like her mother."
Marshall kissed the top of her head, and Mary couldn't logically account for the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. They stayed there for what felt like the blink of an eye, but was probably closer to twenty minutes before a nurse came to feed the baby and she was taken from the room. Mary was saddened but her body was relieved, she had been leaning more and more heavily on Marshall.
"Come on," Marshall murmured, "Let's get you back to you room. Stan'll be here soon."
"Can you send Mark in first?"
"Sure," Marshall agreed after a moment.
"Thank you."
He lifted her easily from the wheelchair and placed her on the bed. She caught his hand as he turned to leave.
"What do you need?" he asked, his voice strained.
She sat up as best she could and kissed him on the cheek.
"To say thank you."
Marshall's expression was peaceful when she pulled back.
"I like this new form of gratitude."
Mary smirked.
"Don't get too used to it. It's the drugs talking."
"I don't doubt it. I'll be back with Mark."
"Stay close when you come back?"
"Of course."
He kissed her forehead, and Mary relaxed. The action felt routine.
Mark entered her room several minutes later alone, but Mary could make out Marshall's shadow outside.
"How are you feeling, babe?"
"Fine," she lied. "Mark, I need an answer right now. Will you relinquish your rights as a parent?"
He was silent.
"Are you keeping her or are you putting her up for adoption?"
"I'm keeping her," she said firmly. "She's my daughter."
"Our daughter. No, I won't relinquish my parental rights. I want to try to be a part of my daughter's life. I want to try to be a family."
"Try?" she asked scathingly, "So what? If it doesn't work out, you'll just what? Leave? Abandon us?"
He sounded insulted. "I would pay child support. What do you want me to say? It's not like I've had a lot of time to think about this?"
Mary noticed Marshall take a half step toward the door when Mark raised his voice before leaning back against the glass.
"This isn't a car or gym membership. You don't a get a trial period. And let me be perfectly clear. You're not staying with me. I can't stop you from being her father, but I want as little to do with you as possible. You and I aren't family. Family doesn't leave."
His eyes flicked to the door where Marshall stood watch.
"Does he have anything to do with this?"
"No," she half-lied.
"You're a shitty liar, Mary. You always have been."
"This is about my daughter. She deserves a good family."
"What makes you think you can do a better job without me?"
"Because I'm never going to leave her."
"You were considering adoption four days ago."
"I was. Because they could give her a good life. But so can I. I love her. And the only people I will allow in her life are the people who will be there for the long haul."
"Do you really think he's going to help you raise my child?"
"Mark, listen to me. It does not matter who else will be in her life. This is about whether or not you are in it to stay."
"Well if you don't want to be a family, what's the point of me staying?"
"You can be her family. But you aren't going to be mine," she restated finally. "Your choice."
"This ultimatum is crap. How can I be there for her if you don't want me there?"
"I won't deprive my daughter her father."
His nostrils flared.
"Stop acting like you're doing me a favor by letting me stay in her life. Answer me this, do you want me to be a part of her life?"
She considered her words carefully.
"Not if you're going to hurt her or leave her."
"That's answer enough. Guess I can't hurt her if I'm never there. Give me a call if she ever starts asking about her real father. I'll move my things out now, and I'll mail you the papers. So long, Mary. Good luck raising your baby."
Mary sat, stunned as he stormed out the door with a swift glance at Marshall, pausing for a moment to size him up before stalking off the other way.
Poking his head in, Marshall pointed in the direction Mark had gone.
"Do you want me to go after him?"
"Am I being selfish?" She asked, cocking her head quizzically. The conversation had left her rattled.
"For not wanting Mark in her life?"
"What if she asks why her father isn't there? I drove him off."
Marshall shook his head as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"No. You gave him an honest choice."
"I drove him away. What if I drive away everyone else? What if I try so hard to protect her from anyone hurting her that I deprive her of love the way… the way I've deprived myself," she finished after a moment.
Marshall looked shocked by the comment.
"Mare," he grabbed her hands firmly. "Look at me. Mary, you could never do that. Ever."
"How do you know?"
"Because you gave Mark the choice even though you didn't want to. He took the easy out and blamed it on you. It's a coward's move."
"But that other family will probably do a much better job raising her. It's not like I've had stellar parenting role models."
"That doesn't mean you won't be an amazing mother. You practically raised Brandi."
She shot him a helpless look.
"And look at how she turned out."
"A lot better than she would have if you weren't in her life. You gave her and Jinx the chance to get their acts together, and they're finally doing it. If you can undo so much of their hurt… you could never cause it for your daughter. Mary, you have people who love you. I hope you know that," he murmured, brows furrowing.
"And all I ever do is push them away because I know best. And being alone is better than getting hurt."
"You held on to me. I promised I would never leave you, and I almost broke that promise." Mary flinched at the reminder of one of the worst days of her life for so many reasons. "But you held on to me that day. And every day since I've held onto you. I'm never letting go. And you'll never stop being there for your daughter."
"What if I just can't be a mom?"
"You are Mary Shannon. Tough as nails. You can do whatever you want to." He cupped her cheek as he continued. "I am always here for you for whatever you need – friend, partner, babysitter… And I will always be here for your daughter for whatever she needs. I told you. If you're having a baby, we're having a baby."
Marshall's unwavering belief in her gave her enough confidence to think that maybe things could work out for the best. Maybe she could give her daughter a better life. She could feel the smile stretch across her face as she held his palm to her cheek.
"I guess it's a good thing I have a high tolerance for dork."
Marshall snorted.
"You don't have a high tolerance for anything."
"You're right. Well, wise ass. If I am going to be keeping my daughter, I think 'my daughter' is a bit cumbersome. So help me pick out a middle name for our baby?"
Mary hoped she wasn't imagining the sparkle in his eye when she said 'our baby'.
"Do you already have a first name picked out?"
"Alexis. We'll call her Lexi."
Marshall nodded appreciatively and was thoughtful for several moments.
"How about Michelle?"
"Alexis Michelle? Lexi Michelle?" she tried, smiling, "I like it."
He beamed and Mary felt like another piece fell into place. Looking him up and down, she recalled a moment a few years before as she took in his disheveled hair.
"What?" he asked, noting her mischievous look.
"Your hair hasn't been this messy since Treena's bachelorette party."
She couldn't read the response in his eyes. Her attempt to ask was interrupted by Stan's arrival.
Author's note: Thank you for reading!
