John woke to a cold morning, holding onto his pillow next to him. He yawned, his eyes adjusting to the light. He groaned, forcing himself to stand and wash up. In an attempt to gain consciousness he splashed warm water on his face.
He walked back to his own room to get dressed when a voice stopped him.
"Good morning," Sherlock said.
John paused before looking over at him. "Morning," he said before gaining a quick pace back to his bedroom. What had happened the day before rushed back into his thoughts. They had done…that…and then John left the apartment. When Sherlock asked where he was going, he made a lame excuse about needing more milk and went straight for the nearest pub. He needed to think about what happened, and to do that he needed alcohol. Of course, every drink had the opposite effect on him. Instead of thinking through what happened, he forgot it all.
When he got back to the apartment, Sherlock wasn't anywhere to be seen, and John headed straight to bed, falling asleep almost instantaneously. Now he was awake, sobered by the sleep, and too afraid to go out into the living room again.
He sat on the edge of his bed and placed his head in his hands. Massaging his temples to rid the headache appearing, he tried to decide the best course of action to take now. But every thought of Sherlock made him think back to what happened and he could feel his lips against his own over and over.
John groaned and fell back onto the bed. He rolled over onto his stomach, buried his face in a pillow, and screamed (though granted a toned down scream so as to not awaken anyone or let Sherlock know anything).
Sherlock did know, however. He leaned his head against John's door, sliding down it to a sitting position. He closed his eyes and let his mind swim. Yes, he knew the physical symptoms of attraction and the mechanics of everything, but feeling it was a new concept. He thought he knew how John felt – his heart raced, his pupils dilated, he kissed back – but now he was locked in his room yelling into his bedding.
John lay on his side, his knees curled up to his chest, his eyes fixed on a discolored spot on the wall. Sherlock pulled his robe around his knees, resting his head back in the corner where the door met the frame.
Sometime during the day Sherlock had gone to his own room so he was no longer at the door when John mustered up the ability to go back downstairs after having changed. He went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and put two slices of bread in the toaster, waiting for the high pitched whistle.
John sat down at the table and opened his laptop. He took a sip of tea just as Sherlock came out of his room.
"John," Sherlock said, his voice much softer than normal.
"Sherlock," John said looking over only once in recognition.
Sherlock sat on the couch, continuing to look at John and his forced typing used only as a means of distraction.
"John," Sherlock said again. "We need to talk."
"Alright," John said. He swallowed nervously.
"How do you feel about me?"
John was shocked at the blunt question, though he probably shouldn't have been. "What do you mean?"
"You kissed me, you did that, but you're distraught. So, how do you feel about me?"
John paused. "I don't know," he said quietly.
"You don't know?"
"No. I've never felt this way about another bloke before so it's confusing. I don't know what happened, why it happened, or if I want it to happen again."
Sherlock's gaze remained free of detectable emotion. "Did you enjoy it?"
"Yes, Sherlock. I did. But that doesn't mean it should continue."
Sherlock didn't respond. They sat there in silence, the first little while spent still looking at each other. John broke the contact, turning back to his computer. Sherlock waited for a moment before getting up to go back to his room.
"You should get some sleep," John called without looking up.
Sherlock scoffed as he walked through the door.
I know this chapter is long overdue and shorter than the others. I had a massive case of writer's block – which is still here for the most part. Anyway, I'll try to update soon! Please comment with suggestions or whatever you want; I'm always looking to improve.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the story as a whole so far :) Thank you so much for reading it!
