A/N: Sorry sorry sorry! I do try to keep up, I really do, but it's not my fault Verizon is slow in getting to the boondocks! When they finally do, I'm hoping that I can UD much faster. Or maybe I should just keep making you guys suffer… nah, I love you too much to do that! ;)
I just went back through and read the other three chapters and it almost brought me to tears! And—er, I'll just be shutting up now. You're welcome.
Disclaimer: Asking me if I own The Mentalist is kind of like asking me if I know President Obama: Both answers include the word, "No," but one also includes the phrase, "Why would I want to?" Guess which one. (Sry, ppl who like him!)
Warnings: OOC (always) and maybe language
He turned onto another unmarked road, ignoring the fuel gauge that was slowly moving toward the "E." He had to get away—from the police, from his old life, from her—and he had to get away now. He had ditched his cherished Citroën long ago, borrowing a beat-up sedan from the driveway of a house that appeared deserted. Except it hadn't been, and the car now had three bullet holes in the trunk. It still ran, so he didn't care.
He didn't even know if he was in California anymore. And if he wasn't, where was he? Arizona? Nevada? Mexico? He winced, remembering the last time he'd been in Mexico. It had been with the woman he loved… the woman he was leaving behind.
Shaking his head, he returned to pondering over his location. Was he in Washington, headed for Canada? West, bound for the ocean? Maybe he was simply going around in circles. Wherever he was going, he didn't know where he was. He didn't want to know where he was.
Without warning, her image appeared in his mind. She was sitting by the window in what had formerly been their apartment, with tears streaming down her face. She was waiting for him; she knew he would come back. He had to come back.
Growling in frustration, he sped up, hearing the sedan creak in protest. He couldn't think about her—not now, and not ever again. She was part of his past, and he intended to keep it that way. He wouldn't let her be dragged into this.
Another picture formed, one he had no recollection of: she was beside him, holding his hand. They were walking on the beach. Neither one of them spoke. They didn't have to.
"Dammit!" he yelled, stomping on the brakes. The tires squealed as the car came to a stop. Turning off the car, he got out and walked to the side of the road. He realized he was near the ocean; he could smell the salt water and hear the waves. But instead of soothing him, they enraged him.
Why couldn't his past just leave him alone?
Angrily kicking a stone into the brush, he stormed back to the car, getting in, but leaving the door open. As he looked at the landscape around him, it dawned on him that he had been here before. Even though it was nearly pitch-black out except for the headlights of the sedan, he recognized this place. She had taken him here once, when their relationship had been blossoming. He'd all but forgotten it. Abandoning the car, he made his way up the road until he came to a huge tree. The names of people, places, and who knew what else had been carved into its trunk. He placed his hand on the soft wood, feeling the indentations in it, searching for one in particular…
When he found it, he traced it over and over, memorizing how it felt, recognizing the T in her name, the P in his, the curve of the heart around them. His eyes started to blur, and he let them. What was the point of trying to prevent the inevitable?
He sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. What had he done? He'd ruined everything… He had been going to start a new life with her, forget what had happened and move on. He loved her. He had to go back to her and try to make her forgive him. She probably hated him. If that was the case, he would have lost another person he loved, but this time, the pain would be much worse. Rachael, Lilli, and Leslie had died; they were gone for good. But Teresa… she would still be there, but it would be as if she wasn't.
He wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing that he had driven her away.
In his jumbled mind, a memory surfaced, one he had tried to forget…
Three Years Ago
He was sitting on the sofa, drinking his tea like any other day while he waited for her to get home. He had finished setting up the nursery, and was excited to show her. She had gotten out of work about ten minutes ago, but she wasn't home yet. She had probably stopped to pick something up from the store. But she would have called—
The phone rang suddenly, and he lunged for it. "Hello?"
"Jane."
"Van Pelt?" he asked in confusion. She sounded as though she'd been crying. "What's wrong?"
"It's… it's Lisbon…" Her voice dissolved into hoarse sobs, and the connection ended.
His heart plummeted to his feet. Oh, dear God, no. His teacup fell to the floor, shattering as he jumped up and raced for the door. If you take her away from me… Getting into his car, he took off toward CBI. When he was less than a block away, he noticed smoke billowing from what seemed to be the parking lot. He sped up, dodging other cars and cursing when he clipped one with his mirror. She'd promised to be careful.
He pulled into the parking lot, jumping out of the car before it stopped. He saw her team rushing at him. They were all in tears as they told him what had happened.
They'd been walking to their cars together, talking about the baby: what name had been chosen, who her godparents would be. She had been the first to leave the group to go to her car. As soon as she touched the handle, the whole car had exploded, making her fly backwards, slam into another car, and hit the ground. They had taken her to the hospital about two minutes ago. Her condition was critical. If she lived, she probably wouldn't be able to return to work.
If she lived…
"What… what about Leslie?" he asked, his voice merely a whisper.
No one knew.
Without another word, he turned and went back to his car, tearing out of the parking lot and to the local hospital. Running to the front desk, he asked where her room was, but was told she was in surgery. He asked when he could see her and was told that he'd be notified at that time. Kicking the desk in frustration, he stalked over to a chair and sat down. Even though he tried not to, he eventually fell asleep.
After two hours of dreams filled with bitter laughter and blood, he woke up in a cold sweat. A nurse was shaking him, saying, "You can see her now, room 121." He thanked her and hurried to an elevator.
When he got to the room, he was nearly sick. She was covered in bruises and burns, bandages covering her head and a cast around her right arm. What he found odd was that she was awake, staring straight ahead as if in a trance. Was she in shock? Why wasn't she being treated for it?
"Sweetheart?" he said softly. She didn't respond. He walked to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair there. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he murmured, "Teresa?"
She blinked and turned her head. But when she saw him, she flinched away and slid to the other side of the bed, whimpering.
"Honey, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly. "I'm not going to hurt you—"
"Yes, you will," she whispered. She sounded terrified.
"Why would I hurt you?"
"Because I… I…" She trailed off.
"Teresa, what happened?" He reached out to caress her cheek, but she jerked back.
"I lost Leslie!" she wailed. "I lost her! She's gone!"
He felt faint and gripped the side of the bed for support. Leslie was gone? This wasn't real… this was another nightmare…
But he wasn't waking up.
Present
"Leslie," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, honey." But I'm going to make it right.
Swiping the back of his hand over his eyes, he stood up and walked back to the car. He got in, did a U-turn, and started back the way he came. He couldn't believe he was returning to her. He hadn't planned on it. He was risking his life—and hers—for love.
He was making either the right decision or his last.
A/N: I have just found out that my aunt is getting internet and she is my neighbor! *squeals* TKS VERIZON! Hope you liked this one, in my POV it keeps getting worse... Meh, whatevs! Whether you liked it or not, please review! Thanks so much!
