"Bianca, wake up." I groaned as Molly's voice wove its way into my dream.
Stubbornly I clung to it, reveling in the way my soft, fashionable,
georgette gown swirled around my ankles and the sun shone through the shear
fabric to touch my arms with a warm caress. The smell of roses filled my
nostrils as I delicately sniffed at one perfect bloom. The fountain my
father had bought for my mother in Rome gurgled in the morning light and a
tray sat on the breakfast table only feet away, the scent of a hot cinnamon
scone and chocolate made my mouth water.
"Come lassie, it's time to wake." Molly said again. I rolled over still trying to stay in the land of dreams. "BIANCA."
My eyes shot open and I looked at the woman who stood in the doorway of my room, her hands on her hips.
"You'll be helpin' me with breakfast this mornin'." She told me. I glared at her, but she only smiled at me. "Get goin' girl, we've got customers to feed."
I sighed and stood. Grabbing my wrapper from next to the bed, I wrapped it around me as I took the pitcher from the washstand in the corner of my room and headed down the hall to the small washroom that held a small sink and a commode. I sighed again as I filled my pitcher, looking at myself in the mirror as I did so. My long hair fell around me in a tangled mess of curls. I shook my head, if only my maid could see me now. Those tresses that had been described by my suitors with words such as 'spun copper' or 'golden red' had been carefully brushed one hundred strokes every morning and every evening. As of right now it looked like it hadn't been brushed in weeks. My skin, always so pale in the morning when I first woke, made me look almost like an invalid. Not for the first time I wished for someone that would take care of my morning ritual for me again. I yawned as I shut off the facet and opened the door to be greeted by a half-awake Mush. He stood with one hand braced upon the doorframe, his injured foot slightly touching the floor as he put most of his weight on his good foot. He wore little more than a pair of tight fitted long johns that ended in a frayed edge just past his knees. His muscular calves flexed as he took a step toward the door. Unconsciously I took a step back into the washroom, my eyes traveling up his length, curiosity warring with fear and propriety.
"Are ya goin' in or comin' out?" he asked an eyebrow raised; looking into his eyes I saw amusement there. He knew what he was doing, he knew the effect he had on me, and he was enjoying every minute of it. Realizing this I drew myself up with all the dignity I could muster; my hand closing the fabric of my wrapper at the neck as he stared at where my nightgown dipped lower than one I had ever worn before.
"Going." I sniffed brushing past him as airily as I could. Unfortunately, his balance was not entirely steady and as I pushed my way past him roughly, I knocked him over. Realizing he was going to fall, he turned his weight toward me in retribution knocking us both to the ground. I gasped for breath, the wind knocked out of me by the weight of the man who lay on top of me. Still trying to breath, I did not even realize the scandalous position we were in.
"Take it in your room." A voice teased, I glanced up from my position to see one of Molly's boarders step over us and enter the washroom, shutting the door behind her. I closed my eyes, a blush already starting in my cheeks; I knew in a minute my whole face would be bright red. Mush made no move to get off and I pushed at him. He raised himself to his elbows and smiled down at me. I returned it with a vicious glare. In my sprawled state, my nightgown had come up baring one of my legs above the knee, the other just at the knee, and leaving a shoulder exposed.
"Do you mind?" I snapped pushing at his bulk, having about the same effect as an ant trying to move a boulder.
"Not at all," Mush replied smirking down at me. "Actually I'm enjoyin' it."
"I can see that; I, however, am not." I hissed. "Please get off of me."
"On one condition." He told me enjoying my discomfort immensely. "You give me a kiss."
"A kiss?" I cried. "Are you mad, you hate me, why would you want to kiss me?"
"Liking ya has nothin' to do with wantin' to kiss ya." He responded, wiggling his eye brows at me as though that would make me understand.
"You said you don't like inexperienced women." I protested.
"When did I say that?" his eyes widened mockingly as he slid a knee between my legs; my blush deepened, moving from my cheeks to stain the rest of my face a deep crimson.
"How dare you." I stammered, my eyes narrowing, "I have never been treated with such disrespect."
"What's the fun in that?" Mush asked as he leaned his head down stopping so close to my face I could almost feel his lips on mine. "Ya ain't never lived before, have ya? Have you ever been kissed Bianca?"
"Have I ever been kissed?" I snorted. "Of course I've been kissed; when one has many persistent and handsome suitors one is kissed at one point or another, though they did it in a manner that was sweet, romantic, and respectful."
"Did they take ya breath away? Did they make ya moan?" He whispered his lips actually brushing mine. "Did they make ya want to be touched?"
"Of course not." I replied uneasily and with embarrassment. He was getting a kick out of this; in a way it was making me feel as I had made him feel. It was revenge, plain and simple, and I was not amused. "A gentleman would never do such a thing."
"Honey." He breathed, I tried to push him away again, but he was so much stronger. It hit me then, he could do anything he wanted and I was helpless. I was as helpless as I had been in my room all those days ago. I was not sure he had the integrity to stop at just teasing. "Men would do such a thing; that is if they are half a man they would."
I recoiled, fear settling in my gut. My breath slammed out of me again, and it was not due to masculine smell of Mush, but the soft scent of cigar smoke and clove cigarettes that had always surrounded my cousin. I flailed helplessly, pushing and gasping, trying to get free. Mush looked down at me with a frown on his face and I stopped my desperate, useless attempts to free myself.
"Please." I breathed, tears forming in my eyes. I hated the way my voice wavered, but I could not control it. He looked at me for a moment before lifting himself up. I sat up trying desperately to wipe away the tears that had already started down my cheeks; my whole body was quaking with fear at the memories that had filled me, along with the helplessness I had felt. He leaned down and I pushed myself away, terror making me blind to who it was that stood in front of me. Gently a hand cupped my elbow, strong fingers closed about my arm and I was lifted to my feet with the care a young girl gives to a new porcelain doll.
"I'm sorry." I heard a male voice mutter. I looked to Mush to see him looking away from me. "I was just playin' with ya, I didn't realize I would scare ya."
"It's alright." I said stiffly, sniffing a little and dabbing at my nose with the sleeve of my wrapper.
"I ain't like the monsters on the street, I ain't ever taken advantage of anyone that didn't know what they were doin'." He continued. "I won't touch ya again."
"It's alright." I repeated, though I was not sure exactly how alright it really was. I was angry; he had no right to invade my space like that. I would never have treated him in such a manner.
Didn't you treat him as though he were the scum of the earth though? A small voice in my head asked. I batted at the thought frustrated. Which is worse? He meant no harm; I knew deep in my gut that he would never have taken advantage of me unless I had given him encouragement. It never would have gone beyond a kiss, if it had even gotten to that. There was something about him that instantly told me he would be more likely to defend me than to attack me.
"I guess I forgot who ya are." He added, a bit of malice laced in his words. I looked at him, my eyes narrowing. Looking at him I had a feeling his thoughts were somewhere along the same as mine. Here I had been ready to believe he was a nice man, one that I had treated abominably and I was willing to apologize for my actions, only to be attacked again.
"What do you mean you forgot who I am?" I snapped.
"That ya ain't touchable." He replied shrugging as if that explained it all. Seeing my eyes narrow further he went in for the kill. "That ya one of those that's too good to work and too good to associate with the likes of me. That my hands are too filthy to ever touch you."
"You're right, and please don't forget that the next time you have the urge to harass someone." I said frustration dripping from my voice. "Please remember that I think I'm better than you and you will never be of a standard to kiss the hem of my skirt."
The words were said with sarcasm; I realized that I had treated him badly, but it was my first day trying to change my ways and already I was being attacked for my earlier behavior. I wondered if I could ever get him to see beyond the spoiled brat that I had been raised to be. I wondered if he would ever see me like Molly did. I wondered why I cared, what did it matter what he thought of me?
"Trust me I will." he snapped back. "But ya know somethin', I wouldn't want ta touch ya anyway. Ya may be a looker, but ya'd probably be so cold in bed, a dead fish would be better company."
We glared at each other, neither of us willing to look away, even as Molly's boarder swung open the door to the washroom and looked at us both for a moment.
"Shameless flirting." The girl said as she pushed between us and continued down the hall into her room. Both of us stared after her in surprise.
"I ain't flirting." Mush yelled after her. We both saw her shrug her disbelief before shutting her door.
"And I am?" I retorted.
"Bianca I need you down here." Molly's impatient voice effectively cut off our argument. I looked down at the pitcher that lay on the floor, the water in a puddle around it, and I realized the side of my gown was soaked. Throwing up my hands I turned and stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I dressed as quickly as possible, my fingers still unused to hooking up my own corset or hooking the skirt. I grabbed my comb and angrily attempted to pull it through my hair. I yelped in pain as it caught in the first of the tangles and in frustration I tried to rip it through. Tears of pain welled up in my eyes as I dropped the comb. I shrieked as my patience snapped, I bent to pick up the comb only to hurl it across the room where it slammed into the wall. My door flew open and Mush looked inside as if expecting to see someone assaulting me.
"Are ya alright." He asked worry creasing his brow for a moment before a mask of indifference settled over it.
"I'm fine." I cried sarcastically, "Perfectly capital, absolutely perfect. I spent all day yesterday scrubbing the floors. Do you have any idea what it is like to scrub a floor? I have been woken up at the crack of dawn to try to learn to prepare food in order to earn my keep. To cook, do you understand what a menial job that is? I am living like one of my own servants, as though I were made to work. I am expected to work. I have never worked. Never. I didn't need to, and now that I do it, it isn't easy. And if that isn't hard enough, I have people like you to tell me exactly how useless I am. Do you think I don't know that, that I am not having a hard enough time? Do you think you are helping to make me treat you any better? Then to top it off I am assaulted and humiliated by you, because you have not liked me from the moment you laid eyes on me. And, and.and I can't even comb my own hair."
I dissolved into tears, too tired and frustrated to care what he thought of me. He stood in the doorway for a moment as if unsure of how to deal with a sobbing female. He looked nervously at the hallway and I knew he was worried about Molly hearing me. If she came to investigate he would be the one in hot water.
"Hush." He whispered softly. "Please, come on now stop ya cryin', it ain't that bad."
"Oh be quiet." I wailed. "You don't care you just don't want to get into trouble."
"I'm sorry." He said quickly trying to stifle a new wail. He bent to pick up the comb, trying to shush me all the way. I had a good mind to wail louder and intentionally get him a good tongue lashing by Molly. When he started toward me, the comb in his hand but not held as if he meant to hand it back, I abruptly stopped and watched him warily.
"Turn." He ordered stopping in front of me. I looked at him dumbly as he gestured for me to do as he had said. Cautiously I complied and gasped as I felt his hand gently on the back of my head; I tensed, not at all sure of what he meant to do. Softly I felt a tug at my hair and realized he was combing my hair with a gentleness that not even my maid had achieved. Too startled to do anything else, I just sat there, eventually the tension leaving me as it always did when someone brushed my hair.
"There." He told me finally; experimentally I ran a hand through the silky strands and turned to offer him the first tentative, but real, smile I had ever given him.
"Thank you." I said shyly. He handed me the comb and I took it, his eyes looked a little dazed as he continued to look into my face.
"It's beautiful, and so soft." He finally said, at my confused look he reached out and gently lifted a strand between his fingers. He stared at it for a moment before remembering himself and letting it drop. I looked away, after all that had passed between us I did not know how to react or treat him. We had managed to go from fighting like a pair of ally cat's battling over territory to actually being civil. I wondered when we would flip back again. This morning had been like riding on the roller coaster at Coney Island.
"Thank you." I repeated, standing, he took a step back onto his hurt ankle and hissed in pain. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He replied swiftly; we were only inches away from each other, a place I had been all too familiar with this morning. I wasn't sure I liked it. I reached out for the comb still in his hand, he did not release it and I looked up. He licked his lips nervously and I looked at him curiously. "Now that ya ain't one of the rich folk anymore, ya can learn to really live. Everyone who has ever lived should experience a real kiss."
I had no time to back away, only for my heart to slam into my rips in fear. However his hand was gentle as it cupped my cheek; gentle as only a large, very strong man who is aware of exactly how strong he is, can be. I knew I could break away at any time; still I was curious as to what a "real" kiss was. The kisses I had received before had always been the soft little touching of lips. What a shock I was about to have. His lips did indeed touch mine softly, but they did not leave, instead they moved on mine urging me to follow suite. Hesitantly I did, not sure if that was what I was supposed to do; a gentle brush of his thumb against the cheek he cupped told me it was. One arm came about me, crossing my back to wrap around me in an embrace that pulled me closer to him. I gasped as he deepened the kiss and his tongue slowly traced my lips. He took that opening to slip inside my mouth with practiced ease. I stood stock still, frightened, but I found surprisingly I liked it.
"Mush!" A voice snapped, we jumped apart and I found Molly standing there tapping her foot, hands on her hips. "Bianca, meet me in the kitchen."
I wanted to protest, but the look on her face made me think better of it; a blush of shame colored my cheeks and I looked to Mush, who gave me a smile that made me blush again. His eyes followed me to the door way and he winked good naturedly at me before Molly slammed the door shut.
"Mush, what is wrong with you?" Molly cried. I knew I should not eavesdrop, that it was not good manners, but I couldn't help myself.
"Nothin' Molly." Mush responded with a casualness to his voice.
"How could ya do that?" Molly continued ranting. "That girl has been starved for affection; the sad thing is she doesn't even know it. Are ya takin' advantage of that? Ya show her an ounce of kindness and warmth, and she'd probably follow ya to the ends of the earth, just to get some more. Don't toy with her, she ain't one of ya cheap girls, she was raised to be a good girl and I ain't gonna let ya spoil her. Got it?"
"I got it." Mush responded.
"Stay away from her if ya have to Casanova," Molly told him. "I don't care how ya gotta keep from touchin' her, and unless ya planning on letting go of ya roguish ways and makin' an honest woman out of her, leave her alone."
'I got it Molly." Mush growled. "I got it alright, she's too good for me I know it."
"She ain't too good for you Mush." Molly said softly, the affection in her voice combined with a bit of sorrow. "She's too good to be used and tossed aside. She's a good girl, I've been watchin' her the past few days and there's a real sweet girl hiding in there. A girl that has been never been shown what it's like to be loved. From what she's told me her parents were so in love with each other they didn't have enough left over for her. All they cared about was that she was kept quiet and if that meant spoiling her rotten then that is what they would do. She doesn't even mourn them; the time they spent with her was like playing with a big doll, one that was put on the shelf when they were bored. If you show her affection she's going to do what ever she needs to for more. She's desperately seekin' approval and I won't have ya hurt her. Cause ya would, and despite ya mean tough exterior Mush, I know ya don't want to do that."
There was silence and I strained to hear something, anything. Finally I heard a sigh, and a creak as someone sat on my bed.
"Alright Molly." Mush sighed.
"Ya a good boy Mush. " Molly's voice was soft and affectionate. "Ya deserve a good girl, and just because ya got hurt by one bad apple don't mean ya have to live from one night to the next."
"I ain't livin' from one night to the next." Mush said "I just ain't found a girl that's worth stayin' with for any length of time."
"Well, ya ain't gonna play with Bianca to find out." Molly said firmly going back to the original subject. "Ya act like a gentleman around her. She's naïve as hell and she's gonna need someone to keep the jackals back. I saw Jack sniffin' at her heels last night. Now if there was ever a charmer it's my cousin, and if I tell him to keep his hands off that's only gonna make her more interestin'. I can trust ya to keep an eye on her."
"I'll keep an eye on her." Mush replied. "I promise."
"And no more fightin', good grief, I coulda heard you two half way down the street." Molly admonished. I could hear her steps moving closer to the door and I fled downstairs to the kitchen before she could catch me. My fingers gently touched my lips as I thought of Mush's kiss, I sighed knowing it was the last of them I'd ever get. I had heard enough to put two and two together. Mush had even admitted it though I hadn't truly believed it. Women were good for one purpose and that was to give him a moment's gratification. I shook my head, I wouldn't give him another kiss even if he wanted to kiss me again, and he might, though I had a feeling his promise to Molly would be more important; I doubted he would go back on his word. He didn't seem like the type, the trust in Molly's voice and words had told me that. He could be trusted, except for in one area and that was the area of romance. I squared my shoulders, it had been a good kiss I told myself, very instructive, but that was all it would ever be. I couldn't look any deeper than that, for Mush was a cad. I had fended off my fair share of them and I wasn't about to fall prey to one now. Jack was one as well, I would have to keep that in mind. I wondered how many others I would meet that were the same way. I wondered if there was a decent man in this world, a man that was not interested in one thing and one thing only.
"Shall we get to work?" Molly asked as she entered the kitchen. I schooled my features into a mask that hid my thoughts and smiled at Molly. I had learned an important lesson today, one I was not going to forget any time soon.
* * *
JP: You wanted more updates, well here's one rather belatedly, but here's one. I had all these beautiful SO's typed out and then I got the reviewed chapter back from Dreamer. I downloaded it right over my SO's. So my patience and frustration level was so high I put it on the back burner. Oh and I love your ramblings.
Dreamer: Stop that, you got it done as soon as you were able and I'm very grateful for that. More naked Mushy, but I've got the feeling you already guessed that. Or erm, actually half naked Mushy. It think poor Bi would just expire on the spot if he got naked. At least at this point. I'll try to get more to you soon.
Bottles: I know all about erasing things. I'm shaking my fist at myself right now. I'm glad you like this story! Cinnamon is interesting, I wrote her to be a little bit of a Spot kind of character, but the really mean side of Spot. Of course to Bianca Spot would be a monster. She's been so sheltered, really she has. I like this Mush, I didn't want him to be the usual sweet Mush, at least not on the surface, there will have to be a little bit of it hidden down in there, but they were all tough street boys. I can't see a tough guy and Mush, or at least the usual Mush so I set out to write him differently. I hope I can keep it up, it's harder than I thought.
Sprite: Thank you honey. Glad you enjoyed my descriptions. Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! My characters are all blowing you kisses!
Firecracker: Homework sucks, but unfortunately it must be done. I'm glad you took the time to read and review. Thanks!
Rumor: Honey how many times must we go through the whole I drool over my own characters. Rolling Silver? Waitressing? I remember having to roll silverware at the end of the night, I hated it. Frustrated me to no end. Especially when I worked a double. Or was closing. She is a quick one, Bianca that is, very smart, still very naïve that will bite her later on. Can't wait for your next review!
Rae Kelly: Good luck, and thanks!
Angel: I agree Saucy is fun! I don't think the muses want you to like Cinnamon. Yup she cleaned the floors in her case cheers are very welcome. Jack is a player, oh is he a player. Here's your shout out. Sorry about last time. Let me know what character you would like to put in. Thanks for asking. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Bianca is rather complex, but all good characters are so I'll take that as a wonderful compliment. Thank you! If you'd like to be in this story I have a major need for news girls, some that are in liege with Cinnamon and those that oppose her. Send me info and which side you'd like to be on. Again Thank you!
Dream: Glad you liked the last chapter and the chapter before it, I hope this one follows suite. She is rather stuck up which always irritates people, but she has a good heart and she's about to get better. Thank you!
Ali: Shivers? We're all the way up to shivers. Whooo hoo! Ah, you love it, come on admit it. A new guy to fall in love with. Mondie, well she can share. At least I hope she can, I don't know. Cinnamon will be competition for Bianca and she will cause trouble. Trouble that poor Bi isn't going to know how to handle at first. I don't know how I do it talk to the muses. They might be able to tell you where they come up with the ideas. I owe it all to them. You updated! YAYA! I was so happy you did, but you left me hanging there what is going to happen with Key and Lock? More soon please! Oh and Tigers could be mucho fun. I'll have to think about that.
Pricilla: Hey thanks, I'm glad you like it. I know I do, but since I write to amuse myself that's a good thing. I don't know about leading anyone around by their hearts she still a little too snobby for them to see beyond it and like in reality there will be a quite a few that don't want to see beyond her façade. We'll see how she does. The muses are in heavy debates right now. I hope they resolve it enough for me to kick out another chapter here. Thanks honey.
Raider: I know who you are, remember I added you into TTHG? Silly girl. Cinnamon will defiantly get more developed as a character, but I doubt you will like her as time goes on, she's well, she's a bitch. She's supposed to be and she's only going to get worse. She's also a bully and well, she just doesn't like Bi therefore things are going to get ugly between them. If you want to borrow her go right a head, I don't think she'd mind, but the muses ask that you get her back when they need her for another chapter. He, he, he. Okay enough with the weirdness. If you'd like to borrow Cam go right ahead. I can't wait to see what you do with these characters. Thank you for asking.
Hotshot: I couldn't at first either, but at least she hasn't thrown an all out temper tantrum. No wailing and flailing fists, so perhaps there's hope for her yet. Jack's just eyeing a new prospect, but still when guys look at a good looking girl they get this lustful look and well he's no different. He does compliment her and all that fighting is going to come in handy.
Sparker: I don't know, what did I do? Really it amuses me and that is what I write for. However it is nice to see that someone else in interested in what I write always makes me feel good. It's a Mush fic through and through. I really wanted to try to write Mush as he might have been, not the sweet, naïve, boy that he is always portrayed as. However I wanted to keep a little of that, in that perhaps he at one point was. Yeah she's pretty naïve, but you have to figure how sheltered women of that time were, especially women of the upper class. They had one purpose, to look pretty and one goal to get married. Glad you like it!
Glimmer: Hey doll, yup, but she's got a long fall. Trust me. Poor kid. Good luck with that play you'll have to e-mail me all the details, or better yet have someone tape it and mail me a copy! Yaya! Thank you for the compliments, really honey you make me blush! What an eloquent compliment. Again with the blushing. Thank you!
Diana: I wasn't worried about it. Really, I was grateful that you told me you complete and honest opinion. I really enjoy getting constructive criticism. Thank you!
Falco: Yaya! I was beginig to think I had lost you. Where did my favorite lazy bum go? Weren't you leaving for a vacation? Hmmmmm, anway I missed you. Now which unknown bastard were you shooting? Adian? Humph he deserves it, but the muses still have a use for it so you can't shoot him until the end. I love Molly too. I hope you feel better. Bianca says she'll make you some soup, with Molly's help of course. Thank you doll, glad you love my story! Hey where did your story with Keza go? I want more of it!
Soaker: Thank you, I am glad you like both my story and my characters, both are really important. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you have the previous ones.
Spark Higgins: (Shakes head) Okay this is getting a little old. I wasn't forcing my SO, I am not angry at you. I'm 22 years old for crying out loud little things don't keep my angry for very long and I have way too much other stuff to be worried and angry over. Like the fact I can't get the apartment complex to fix my freakin disposal so I can clean my dishes. AHHHHHHHHHH! Don't get me started. I am glad you are reading this, but really I've been way over it for a while. I don't know you as well as my other reviewers that I write long SO's to, you haven't been reading my stuff for as long, nor did you really give me a review I could really chat about. At least not until now. I thanked you for your compliments, but again I don't know you therefore I can't chat with you about nothing and there wasn't enough there to go by. Okay I'm done. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Firecracker: Hey thanks honey, glad you enjoyed it!
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading and I love you all.
"Come lassie, it's time to wake." Molly said again. I rolled over still trying to stay in the land of dreams. "BIANCA."
My eyes shot open and I looked at the woman who stood in the doorway of my room, her hands on her hips.
"You'll be helpin' me with breakfast this mornin'." She told me. I glared at her, but she only smiled at me. "Get goin' girl, we've got customers to feed."
I sighed and stood. Grabbing my wrapper from next to the bed, I wrapped it around me as I took the pitcher from the washstand in the corner of my room and headed down the hall to the small washroom that held a small sink and a commode. I sighed again as I filled my pitcher, looking at myself in the mirror as I did so. My long hair fell around me in a tangled mess of curls. I shook my head, if only my maid could see me now. Those tresses that had been described by my suitors with words such as 'spun copper' or 'golden red' had been carefully brushed one hundred strokes every morning and every evening. As of right now it looked like it hadn't been brushed in weeks. My skin, always so pale in the morning when I first woke, made me look almost like an invalid. Not for the first time I wished for someone that would take care of my morning ritual for me again. I yawned as I shut off the facet and opened the door to be greeted by a half-awake Mush. He stood with one hand braced upon the doorframe, his injured foot slightly touching the floor as he put most of his weight on his good foot. He wore little more than a pair of tight fitted long johns that ended in a frayed edge just past his knees. His muscular calves flexed as he took a step toward the door. Unconsciously I took a step back into the washroom, my eyes traveling up his length, curiosity warring with fear and propriety.
"Are ya goin' in or comin' out?" he asked an eyebrow raised; looking into his eyes I saw amusement there. He knew what he was doing, he knew the effect he had on me, and he was enjoying every minute of it. Realizing this I drew myself up with all the dignity I could muster; my hand closing the fabric of my wrapper at the neck as he stared at where my nightgown dipped lower than one I had ever worn before.
"Going." I sniffed brushing past him as airily as I could. Unfortunately, his balance was not entirely steady and as I pushed my way past him roughly, I knocked him over. Realizing he was going to fall, he turned his weight toward me in retribution knocking us both to the ground. I gasped for breath, the wind knocked out of me by the weight of the man who lay on top of me. Still trying to breath, I did not even realize the scandalous position we were in.
"Take it in your room." A voice teased, I glanced up from my position to see one of Molly's boarders step over us and enter the washroom, shutting the door behind her. I closed my eyes, a blush already starting in my cheeks; I knew in a minute my whole face would be bright red. Mush made no move to get off and I pushed at him. He raised himself to his elbows and smiled down at me. I returned it with a vicious glare. In my sprawled state, my nightgown had come up baring one of my legs above the knee, the other just at the knee, and leaving a shoulder exposed.
"Do you mind?" I snapped pushing at his bulk, having about the same effect as an ant trying to move a boulder.
"Not at all," Mush replied smirking down at me. "Actually I'm enjoyin' it."
"I can see that; I, however, am not." I hissed. "Please get off of me."
"On one condition." He told me enjoying my discomfort immensely. "You give me a kiss."
"A kiss?" I cried. "Are you mad, you hate me, why would you want to kiss me?"
"Liking ya has nothin' to do with wantin' to kiss ya." He responded, wiggling his eye brows at me as though that would make me understand.
"You said you don't like inexperienced women." I protested.
"When did I say that?" his eyes widened mockingly as he slid a knee between my legs; my blush deepened, moving from my cheeks to stain the rest of my face a deep crimson.
"How dare you." I stammered, my eyes narrowing, "I have never been treated with such disrespect."
"What's the fun in that?" Mush asked as he leaned his head down stopping so close to my face I could almost feel his lips on mine. "Ya ain't never lived before, have ya? Have you ever been kissed Bianca?"
"Have I ever been kissed?" I snorted. "Of course I've been kissed; when one has many persistent and handsome suitors one is kissed at one point or another, though they did it in a manner that was sweet, romantic, and respectful."
"Did they take ya breath away? Did they make ya moan?" He whispered his lips actually brushing mine. "Did they make ya want to be touched?"
"Of course not." I replied uneasily and with embarrassment. He was getting a kick out of this; in a way it was making me feel as I had made him feel. It was revenge, plain and simple, and I was not amused. "A gentleman would never do such a thing."
"Honey." He breathed, I tried to push him away again, but he was so much stronger. It hit me then, he could do anything he wanted and I was helpless. I was as helpless as I had been in my room all those days ago. I was not sure he had the integrity to stop at just teasing. "Men would do such a thing; that is if they are half a man they would."
I recoiled, fear settling in my gut. My breath slammed out of me again, and it was not due to masculine smell of Mush, but the soft scent of cigar smoke and clove cigarettes that had always surrounded my cousin. I flailed helplessly, pushing and gasping, trying to get free. Mush looked down at me with a frown on his face and I stopped my desperate, useless attempts to free myself.
"Please." I breathed, tears forming in my eyes. I hated the way my voice wavered, but I could not control it. He looked at me for a moment before lifting himself up. I sat up trying desperately to wipe away the tears that had already started down my cheeks; my whole body was quaking with fear at the memories that had filled me, along with the helplessness I had felt. He leaned down and I pushed myself away, terror making me blind to who it was that stood in front of me. Gently a hand cupped my elbow, strong fingers closed about my arm and I was lifted to my feet with the care a young girl gives to a new porcelain doll.
"I'm sorry." I heard a male voice mutter. I looked to Mush to see him looking away from me. "I was just playin' with ya, I didn't realize I would scare ya."
"It's alright." I said stiffly, sniffing a little and dabbing at my nose with the sleeve of my wrapper.
"I ain't like the monsters on the street, I ain't ever taken advantage of anyone that didn't know what they were doin'." He continued. "I won't touch ya again."
"It's alright." I repeated, though I was not sure exactly how alright it really was. I was angry; he had no right to invade my space like that. I would never have treated him in such a manner.
Didn't you treat him as though he were the scum of the earth though? A small voice in my head asked. I batted at the thought frustrated. Which is worse? He meant no harm; I knew deep in my gut that he would never have taken advantage of me unless I had given him encouragement. It never would have gone beyond a kiss, if it had even gotten to that. There was something about him that instantly told me he would be more likely to defend me than to attack me.
"I guess I forgot who ya are." He added, a bit of malice laced in his words. I looked at him, my eyes narrowing. Looking at him I had a feeling his thoughts were somewhere along the same as mine. Here I had been ready to believe he was a nice man, one that I had treated abominably and I was willing to apologize for my actions, only to be attacked again.
"What do you mean you forgot who I am?" I snapped.
"That ya ain't touchable." He replied shrugging as if that explained it all. Seeing my eyes narrow further he went in for the kill. "That ya one of those that's too good to work and too good to associate with the likes of me. That my hands are too filthy to ever touch you."
"You're right, and please don't forget that the next time you have the urge to harass someone." I said frustration dripping from my voice. "Please remember that I think I'm better than you and you will never be of a standard to kiss the hem of my skirt."
The words were said with sarcasm; I realized that I had treated him badly, but it was my first day trying to change my ways and already I was being attacked for my earlier behavior. I wondered if I could ever get him to see beyond the spoiled brat that I had been raised to be. I wondered if he would ever see me like Molly did. I wondered why I cared, what did it matter what he thought of me?
"Trust me I will." he snapped back. "But ya know somethin', I wouldn't want ta touch ya anyway. Ya may be a looker, but ya'd probably be so cold in bed, a dead fish would be better company."
We glared at each other, neither of us willing to look away, even as Molly's boarder swung open the door to the washroom and looked at us both for a moment.
"Shameless flirting." The girl said as she pushed between us and continued down the hall into her room. Both of us stared after her in surprise.
"I ain't flirting." Mush yelled after her. We both saw her shrug her disbelief before shutting her door.
"And I am?" I retorted.
"Bianca I need you down here." Molly's impatient voice effectively cut off our argument. I looked down at the pitcher that lay on the floor, the water in a puddle around it, and I realized the side of my gown was soaked. Throwing up my hands I turned and stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I dressed as quickly as possible, my fingers still unused to hooking up my own corset or hooking the skirt. I grabbed my comb and angrily attempted to pull it through my hair. I yelped in pain as it caught in the first of the tangles and in frustration I tried to rip it through. Tears of pain welled up in my eyes as I dropped the comb. I shrieked as my patience snapped, I bent to pick up the comb only to hurl it across the room where it slammed into the wall. My door flew open and Mush looked inside as if expecting to see someone assaulting me.
"Are ya alright." He asked worry creasing his brow for a moment before a mask of indifference settled over it.
"I'm fine." I cried sarcastically, "Perfectly capital, absolutely perfect. I spent all day yesterday scrubbing the floors. Do you have any idea what it is like to scrub a floor? I have been woken up at the crack of dawn to try to learn to prepare food in order to earn my keep. To cook, do you understand what a menial job that is? I am living like one of my own servants, as though I were made to work. I am expected to work. I have never worked. Never. I didn't need to, and now that I do it, it isn't easy. And if that isn't hard enough, I have people like you to tell me exactly how useless I am. Do you think I don't know that, that I am not having a hard enough time? Do you think you are helping to make me treat you any better? Then to top it off I am assaulted and humiliated by you, because you have not liked me from the moment you laid eyes on me. And, and.and I can't even comb my own hair."
I dissolved into tears, too tired and frustrated to care what he thought of me. He stood in the doorway for a moment as if unsure of how to deal with a sobbing female. He looked nervously at the hallway and I knew he was worried about Molly hearing me. If she came to investigate he would be the one in hot water.
"Hush." He whispered softly. "Please, come on now stop ya cryin', it ain't that bad."
"Oh be quiet." I wailed. "You don't care you just don't want to get into trouble."
"I'm sorry." He said quickly trying to stifle a new wail. He bent to pick up the comb, trying to shush me all the way. I had a good mind to wail louder and intentionally get him a good tongue lashing by Molly. When he started toward me, the comb in his hand but not held as if he meant to hand it back, I abruptly stopped and watched him warily.
"Turn." He ordered stopping in front of me. I looked at him dumbly as he gestured for me to do as he had said. Cautiously I complied and gasped as I felt his hand gently on the back of my head; I tensed, not at all sure of what he meant to do. Softly I felt a tug at my hair and realized he was combing my hair with a gentleness that not even my maid had achieved. Too startled to do anything else, I just sat there, eventually the tension leaving me as it always did when someone brushed my hair.
"There." He told me finally; experimentally I ran a hand through the silky strands and turned to offer him the first tentative, but real, smile I had ever given him.
"Thank you." I said shyly. He handed me the comb and I took it, his eyes looked a little dazed as he continued to look into my face.
"It's beautiful, and so soft." He finally said, at my confused look he reached out and gently lifted a strand between his fingers. He stared at it for a moment before remembering himself and letting it drop. I looked away, after all that had passed between us I did not know how to react or treat him. We had managed to go from fighting like a pair of ally cat's battling over territory to actually being civil. I wondered when we would flip back again. This morning had been like riding on the roller coaster at Coney Island.
"Thank you." I repeated, standing, he took a step back onto his hurt ankle and hissed in pain. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He replied swiftly; we were only inches away from each other, a place I had been all too familiar with this morning. I wasn't sure I liked it. I reached out for the comb still in his hand, he did not release it and I looked up. He licked his lips nervously and I looked at him curiously. "Now that ya ain't one of the rich folk anymore, ya can learn to really live. Everyone who has ever lived should experience a real kiss."
I had no time to back away, only for my heart to slam into my rips in fear. However his hand was gentle as it cupped my cheek; gentle as only a large, very strong man who is aware of exactly how strong he is, can be. I knew I could break away at any time; still I was curious as to what a "real" kiss was. The kisses I had received before had always been the soft little touching of lips. What a shock I was about to have. His lips did indeed touch mine softly, but they did not leave, instead they moved on mine urging me to follow suite. Hesitantly I did, not sure if that was what I was supposed to do; a gentle brush of his thumb against the cheek he cupped told me it was. One arm came about me, crossing my back to wrap around me in an embrace that pulled me closer to him. I gasped as he deepened the kiss and his tongue slowly traced my lips. He took that opening to slip inside my mouth with practiced ease. I stood stock still, frightened, but I found surprisingly I liked it.
"Mush!" A voice snapped, we jumped apart and I found Molly standing there tapping her foot, hands on her hips. "Bianca, meet me in the kitchen."
I wanted to protest, but the look on her face made me think better of it; a blush of shame colored my cheeks and I looked to Mush, who gave me a smile that made me blush again. His eyes followed me to the door way and he winked good naturedly at me before Molly slammed the door shut.
"Mush, what is wrong with you?" Molly cried. I knew I should not eavesdrop, that it was not good manners, but I couldn't help myself.
"Nothin' Molly." Mush responded with a casualness to his voice.
"How could ya do that?" Molly continued ranting. "That girl has been starved for affection; the sad thing is she doesn't even know it. Are ya takin' advantage of that? Ya show her an ounce of kindness and warmth, and she'd probably follow ya to the ends of the earth, just to get some more. Don't toy with her, she ain't one of ya cheap girls, she was raised to be a good girl and I ain't gonna let ya spoil her. Got it?"
"I got it." Mush responded.
"Stay away from her if ya have to Casanova," Molly told him. "I don't care how ya gotta keep from touchin' her, and unless ya planning on letting go of ya roguish ways and makin' an honest woman out of her, leave her alone."
'I got it Molly." Mush growled. "I got it alright, she's too good for me I know it."
"She ain't too good for you Mush." Molly said softly, the affection in her voice combined with a bit of sorrow. "She's too good to be used and tossed aside. She's a good girl, I've been watchin' her the past few days and there's a real sweet girl hiding in there. A girl that has been never been shown what it's like to be loved. From what she's told me her parents were so in love with each other they didn't have enough left over for her. All they cared about was that she was kept quiet and if that meant spoiling her rotten then that is what they would do. She doesn't even mourn them; the time they spent with her was like playing with a big doll, one that was put on the shelf when they were bored. If you show her affection she's going to do what ever she needs to for more. She's desperately seekin' approval and I won't have ya hurt her. Cause ya would, and despite ya mean tough exterior Mush, I know ya don't want to do that."
There was silence and I strained to hear something, anything. Finally I heard a sigh, and a creak as someone sat on my bed.
"Alright Molly." Mush sighed.
"Ya a good boy Mush. " Molly's voice was soft and affectionate. "Ya deserve a good girl, and just because ya got hurt by one bad apple don't mean ya have to live from one night to the next."
"I ain't livin' from one night to the next." Mush said "I just ain't found a girl that's worth stayin' with for any length of time."
"Well, ya ain't gonna play with Bianca to find out." Molly said firmly going back to the original subject. "Ya act like a gentleman around her. She's naïve as hell and she's gonna need someone to keep the jackals back. I saw Jack sniffin' at her heels last night. Now if there was ever a charmer it's my cousin, and if I tell him to keep his hands off that's only gonna make her more interestin'. I can trust ya to keep an eye on her."
"I'll keep an eye on her." Mush replied. "I promise."
"And no more fightin', good grief, I coulda heard you two half way down the street." Molly admonished. I could hear her steps moving closer to the door and I fled downstairs to the kitchen before she could catch me. My fingers gently touched my lips as I thought of Mush's kiss, I sighed knowing it was the last of them I'd ever get. I had heard enough to put two and two together. Mush had even admitted it though I hadn't truly believed it. Women were good for one purpose and that was to give him a moment's gratification. I shook my head, I wouldn't give him another kiss even if he wanted to kiss me again, and he might, though I had a feeling his promise to Molly would be more important; I doubted he would go back on his word. He didn't seem like the type, the trust in Molly's voice and words had told me that. He could be trusted, except for in one area and that was the area of romance. I squared my shoulders, it had been a good kiss I told myself, very instructive, but that was all it would ever be. I couldn't look any deeper than that, for Mush was a cad. I had fended off my fair share of them and I wasn't about to fall prey to one now. Jack was one as well, I would have to keep that in mind. I wondered how many others I would meet that were the same way. I wondered if there was a decent man in this world, a man that was not interested in one thing and one thing only.
"Shall we get to work?" Molly asked as she entered the kitchen. I schooled my features into a mask that hid my thoughts and smiled at Molly. I had learned an important lesson today, one I was not going to forget any time soon.
* * *
JP: You wanted more updates, well here's one rather belatedly, but here's one. I had all these beautiful SO's typed out and then I got the reviewed chapter back from Dreamer. I downloaded it right over my SO's. So my patience and frustration level was so high I put it on the back burner. Oh and I love your ramblings.
Dreamer: Stop that, you got it done as soon as you were able and I'm very grateful for that. More naked Mushy, but I've got the feeling you already guessed that. Or erm, actually half naked Mushy. It think poor Bi would just expire on the spot if he got naked. At least at this point. I'll try to get more to you soon.
Bottles: I know all about erasing things. I'm shaking my fist at myself right now. I'm glad you like this story! Cinnamon is interesting, I wrote her to be a little bit of a Spot kind of character, but the really mean side of Spot. Of course to Bianca Spot would be a monster. She's been so sheltered, really she has. I like this Mush, I didn't want him to be the usual sweet Mush, at least not on the surface, there will have to be a little bit of it hidden down in there, but they were all tough street boys. I can't see a tough guy and Mush, or at least the usual Mush so I set out to write him differently. I hope I can keep it up, it's harder than I thought.
Sprite: Thank you honey. Glad you enjoyed my descriptions. Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! My characters are all blowing you kisses!
Firecracker: Homework sucks, but unfortunately it must be done. I'm glad you took the time to read and review. Thanks!
Rumor: Honey how many times must we go through the whole I drool over my own characters. Rolling Silver? Waitressing? I remember having to roll silverware at the end of the night, I hated it. Frustrated me to no end. Especially when I worked a double. Or was closing. She is a quick one, Bianca that is, very smart, still very naïve that will bite her later on. Can't wait for your next review!
Rae Kelly: Good luck, and thanks!
Angel: I agree Saucy is fun! I don't think the muses want you to like Cinnamon. Yup she cleaned the floors in her case cheers are very welcome. Jack is a player, oh is he a player. Here's your shout out. Sorry about last time. Let me know what character you would like to put in. Thanks for asking. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Bianca is rather complex, but all good characters are so I'll take that as a wonderful compliment. Thank you! If you'd like to be in this story I have a major need for news girls, some that are in liege with Cinnamon and those that oppose her. Send me info and which side you'd like to be on. Again Thank you!
Dream: Glad you liked the last chapter and the chapter before it, I hope this one follows suite. She is rather stuck up which always irritates people, but she has a good heart and she's about to get better. Thank you!
Ali: Shivers? We're all the way up to shivers. Whooo hoo! Ah, you love it, come on admit it. A new guy to fall in love with. Mondie, well she can share. At least I hope she can, I don't know. Cinnamon will be competition for Bianca and she will cause trouble. Trouble that poor Bi isn't going to know how to handle at first. I don't know how I do it talk to the muses. They might be able to tell you where they come up with the ideas. I owe it all to them. You updated! YAYA! I was so happy you did, but you left me hanging there what is going to happen with Key and Lock? More soon please! Oh and Tigers could be mucho fun. I'll have to think about that.
Pricilla: Hey thanks, I'm glad you like it. I know I do, but since I write to amuse myself that's a good thing. I don't know about leading anyone around by their hearts she still a little too snobby for them to see beyond it and like in reality there will be a quite a few that don't want to see beyond her façade. We'll see how she does. The muses are in heavy debates right now. I hope they resolve it enough for me to kick out another chapter here. Thanks honey.
Raider: I know who you are, remember I added you into TTHG? Silly girl. Cinnamon will defiantly get more developed as a character, but I doubt you will like her as time goes on, she's well, she's a bitch. She's supposed to be and she's only going to get worse. She's also a bully and well, she just doesn't like Bi therefore things are going to get ugly between them. If you want to borrow her go right a head, I don't think she'd mind, but the muses ask that you get her back when they need her for another chapter. He, he, he. Okay enough with the weirdness. If you'd like to borrow Cam go right ahead. I can't wait to see what you do with these characters. Thank you for asking.
Hotshot: I couldn't at first either, but at least she hasn't thrown an all out temper tantrum. No wailing and flailing fists, so perhaps there's hope for her yet. Jack's just eyeing a new prospect, but still when guys look at a good looking girl they get this lustful look and well he's no different. He does compliment her and all that fighting is going to come in handy.
Sparker: I don't know, what did I do? Really it amuses me and that is what I write for. However it is nice to see that someone else in interested in what I write always makes me feel good. It's a Mush fic through and through. I really wanted to try to write Mush as he might have been, not the sweet, naïve, boy that he is always portrayed as. However I wanted to keep a little of that, in that perhaps he at one point was. Yeah she's pretty naïve, but you have to figure how sheltered women of that time were, especially women of the upper class. They had one purpose, to look pretty and one goal to get married. Glad you like it!
Glimmer: Hey doll, yup, but she's got a long fall. Trust me. Poor kid. Good luck with that play you'll have to e-mail me all the details, or better yet have someone tape it and mail me a copy! Yaya! Thank you for the compliments, really honey you make me blush! What an eloquent compliment. Again with the blushing. Thank you!
Diana: I wasn't worried about it. Really, I was grateful that you told me you complete and honest opinion. I really enjoy getting constructive criticism. Thank you!
Falco: Yaya! I was beginig to think I had lost you. Where did my favorite lazy bum go? Weren't you leaving for a vacation? Hmmmmm, anway I missed you. Now which unknown bastard were you shooting? Adian? Humph he deserves it, but the muses still have a use for it so you can't shoot him until the end. I love Molly too. I hope you feel better. Bianca says she'll make you some soup, with Molly's help of course. Thank you doll, glad you love my story! Hey where did your story with Keza go? I want more of it!
Soaker: Thank you, I am glad you like both my story and my characters, both are really important. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you have the previous ones.
Spark Higgins: (Shakes head) Okay this is getting a little old. I wasn't forcing my SO, I am not angry at you. I'm 22 years old for crying out loud little things don't keep my angry for very long and I have way too much other stuff to be worried and angry over. Like the fact I can't get the apartment complex to fix my freakin disposal so I can clean my dishes. AHHHHHHHHHH! Don't get me started. I am glad you are reading this, but really I've been way over it for a while. I don't know you as well as my other reviewers that I write long SO's to, you haven't been reading my stuff for as long, nor did you really give me a review I could really chat about. At least not until now. I thanked you for your compliments, but again I don't know you therefore I can't chat with you about nothing and there wasn't enough there to go by. Okay I'm done. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Firecracker: Hey thanks honey, glad you enjoyed it!
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading and I love you all.
