Justice League: The Borderlands Saga
Chapter 4: Admiral Ackbar Says It's a Trap
"well this is it… Tundra Express" Huntress said, as the heroes overlooked the massive land
"yup, nothing but ugly bugs, loud trains, bandits, loud helicopter thingamajigs and… what the?" Robin gasped as he rushed over to a nearby terrain
"what? What is it, Tim?" Superman asked
"I… I don't think we're the ONLY ones who landed on Pandora. Look at this" Robin spoke, handing Superman a broken piece of machinery. On it was an L written in green.
"hmmm… that L seems very, VERY familiar…" Superman said in puzzlement
"Is it me?" Livewire asked excitedly
"Nuh-uh. Something much, much more deadly" Superman said
"well who?" Kara asked
"think about it; the letter L, the color green, a broken LexCorp droid on the snowy mound…" Superman said, as the answer hit them
"…Lex Luthor" Hippolyta gasped
"OH MY SWEET JESUS, I KNEW IT" Killer Croc bellowed in shock when all of a sudden the ECHO went on
"hello Kal-El. Did you miss me?" Lex said mockingly
"YOU! YOU'RE BEHIND ALL THIS" Superman roared
"Congratulations, heroes! You've just discovered my brand new crime of the century! I call it Operation Pandora Pocalypse! And all of YOU will have a front row seat! Oh by the way Handsome Jack will no longer be bothering you anytime soon. Oh and here's an old friend of yours that REALLY wants to see you" Lex said wickedly, showing Angel in a tube filled with poison gas
"What have you DONE?" Supergirl asked in horror
"nothing yet, except the fact that if you continue this foolish quest of "saving" this wretched planet, well then, you know what will happen" Lex said evilly
"LEX! YOU LET HER GO RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR ME? SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS" Superman roared angrily
"I'd love to Kal-El, but if you want her AND all of Pandora in one piece, then I suggest you turn yourselves in immediately. Oh and I wouldn't keep going ahead if I were you. I have a little surprise waiting for you once the train stops. Arrivederci!" Lex said tauntingly, the ECHO switching off
"I'm… going… to KILL him…" Superman said, his teeth clenched
"easy cousin, easy. We gotta help Roland first by getting the Vault Key" Supergirl said calmly
"whoa whoa whoa, back up the gravy train? Who the hell IS this Lex guy?" Nisha asked, shocked by this much unexpected revelation
"Lex is my archenemy. Every time, he'd invent new ways to defame me or kill me and I always foil 'em. He was always a peaceful man. I'd… I'd never thought he'd sell his love and soul for all life in the universe to a terrorist company" Superman explained
"well don't worry partner. We're gonna help you get him. And get Angel, too" Axton promised, placing his hand on the Man of Steel's shoulder
"actually… why don't you guys come with us to Earth? There's a lot of new things out there" Batman offered
"hmm… ok" Maya said
"really? You-you're serious?" Batman stammered
"yes. Pandora is becoming very, VERY hazardous for us to live. We've been planning a planet evacuation for years and we've never succeeded until now. Once this is all over, each and every person and creature of Pandora will be migrated to Earth so we can live in peace and harmony" Roland proposed
"deal" Batman agreed when a varkid landed on the Dark Knight's foot
"YAYYYY! BURN BUGS, BURN BUGS, BURN BUGS" Firefly cackled wildly, roasting the varkids alive, the fumes awakening world class sniper and alcoholic Mordecai and his BFF pet Bloodwing
"so loud…so angry… so dead" Mordecai boasted as Bloodwing perched herself on his arm
"hey Leaguers, Vault Hunters. Welcome to Pandora. Heard you guys ripped the Bloodshots a new one and busted Roland out. That's a really damn good job. Anyway, I've been out searching and if my intel's right, and it's ALWAYS right; the Vault Key is in that train. You stop that train and grab the Vault Key, we have a chance of stopping Luthor from waking up the Warrior" Mordecai said through the ECHO
"you heroes REALLY think you have a chance of stopping the greatest criminal mind of our time? I've learned a few new tricks from Handsome Jack before he was, shall we say… discharged from duty" Lex mocked through the ECHO
"can it egghead, we're stopping you one way or another" Nightwing snarled
"oh what are you gonna do? Haul me off to jail like always?" Lex teased
"oh, you'll find out soon enough" Red Hood said, holding his Crimson Raiders flag, waiting for the right opportunity which would come soon enough
"all around the Stactus plant, the stalker chased the bandit! The stalker thought 'twas all in fun, POP!" Tiny Tina shouted maniacally, blowing up a psycho with 10 kegs of dynamite
"…gee, she reminds me of Spoiler. Are they… twins by any chance?" Nightwing asked
"oh hi!" Tiny Tina said loudly, the Leaguers and Vault Hunters reluctantly following the mentally crazed 13 year old psycho to her workshop
"so Roland told me you was coming, he owes me big for that mixup with General Knoxx. So ya's gonna rob a train? Chiiiild's play! Lemme show ya my laaadiieesss" Tiny Tina purred, showing the heroes two stuffed bunny rabbits
"…uh, are THOSE her ladies?" Kara asked, feeling a bit creeped out by Tina's antics
"I know Tina can be odd and a bit frightening; but she has the skills we need to hijack the train and get the Vault Key. Oh and she also bites" Roland mentioned over the ECHO
"ok, Pandora is by far, the most scariest planet" Kara admitted
"how so, kid?" Nisha asked
"well… big scary bandits, really wild plants, crazy people… I just wanna go home" Kara sobbed, Alex hugging her for comfort
"I know how you feel buttercup. I didn't mean for this to happen either. But Pandora needs our help. Angel is counting on us to save her. I don't know if victory will be possible or if we'll ever leave Pandora, but we WILL stick together and we will not give up, because we're family. We never leave anyone behind" Alex said, Kara looking at her big sister with tears in her eyes
"and when it's all over?" Kara asked, sniffling
"when it's all over, we're going home. With our new friends. I promise" Alex said, ruffling her baby sister's hair
"now come on, turn that frown upside down" Alex grinned, tickling Kara's belly, Kara giggling as she hugged her older sister
"I love you big sissy" Kara said happily
"I love you too, my little buttercup" Alex cooed, kissing Kara's forehead
"awww, that's so sweet" Nisha said
"yeah, yeah, ok come on guys, we gotta help Tina get her thingamajigs so we can get the Vault Key and find a way outta this madhouse" Red Hood ordered
"…boy, he really IS like Bruce" Kara said to Alex, as soon as Red Hood was out of hearing
"you got my badonkadonks? BEST DAY EVER. Bring 'em over and I'll see if we can have us a good ol train robbery" Tina said excitedly over the ECHO
…
"how's it going in there? We've been out here for fifteen minutes, and we're freezing" Alex hollered as she, the Leaguers and the Vault Hunters stood outside Tina's workshop as Tina herself was working on the bombs
"ta-da! All done" Tina announced, Kara waking up from her nap
"take 'em. Take em, take em, take em, take em" Tina babbled, Nightwing slowly grabbing the bunnies
"on my signal, we run as fast as we can" Nightwing whispered before a farting sound was heard.
"there's something behind me, isn't there?" Booster asked nervously as he gasped with fright as an ultra super badass psycho loomed over him
"RUUUUNNNNNN" Alex hollered, as the heroes mowed down the psycho and made a mad dash for the train tracks where the bombs were set
"…wow… that… was… really…" Kara panted, out of breath as Huntress helped her up
"ten! Nine!" Tina counted down, the heroes covering their ears when without warning, the rockets blasted off and blew the train track to smithereens, causing the Hyperion convoy train to come crashing down into the icy river
"I was bored" Tina said nonchalantly
"of course you were" Batman snarked as the heroes carefully walked up the train wreckage to the End of the Line
"uh… guys?" Robin asked as soon as they entered
"yes, Timmy?" Alex asked
"remember that little surprise Lex said he had for us as soon as we found the train?" Robin whimpered as an ominous shadow loomed
"uh-oh" Kara and Alex said in unison as they came face to face with Wilhelm, the butcher of New Haven
"…I need an adult" Booster whimpered, covering his potatoes with his hands
"oh for goodness sakes, there's no reason to-AAAAHHH" Hippolyta yelled as Wilhelm grabbed her
"MOMMY" Black Canary yelled, feeling her hidden superstrength rise and unleash
"The bandits will be dead soon, Luthor" Wilhelm spoke into his ECHO
"you leave my mommy ALONE, you… you… big bully" Black Canary shouted, kicking Wilhelm in the cybernetic testicles, Hippolyta landing in Black Canary's arms
"AAAAGGGHHH! IS…THIS…PAIN?" Wilhelm grunted in agony
"oh thank you Dinah sweetie! You were a brave little girl! I'm so proud of you" Hippolyta sniffled, hugging Dinah close
"big sis?" Supergirl asked
"yes?" Alex answered
"you wanna help me take down this big bully? Just like Non and Indigo?" Supergirl asked
"buttercup, it'd be my pleasure" Alex smiled as the sisters charged heroically into battle, Alex flying right into the Loaders
"how do you like THAT, you lousy hunks of junk!" Supergirl shouted, smashing a GUN Loader in half with her bare hands
"leave Pandora ALONE" Alex cried, freezing an EXP Loader with her freeze breath before pushing it down, crashing into pieces
"THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE" Wilhelm shouted in disbelief as Supergirl grabbed a nearby pipe bomb and shoved it down the monstrous cyborg's throat as everyone took cover
"Huh?" Wilhelm gasped as he suddenly felt smoke rising from his body. Suddenly he realized what was about to happen
"Uh-oh" Wilhelm uttered before exploding into smithereens, his top crashing into the snowy ground, a power core tumbling out of the wreckage
"WHAT? The Vault Key ISNT here? WHAT THE FRIGGING HEY?" Livewire hollered
"oh I'm sorry you meddling Leaguers, actually it is I who have the Vault Key. It's in my top-secret impenetrable base in the Highlands, far, far from your location. So I'll ask you again; turn yourselves in, NOW or mark my words, things will get much, much, MUCH worse" Lex threatened over the ECHO
"wait! Don't take the power core! It's a trap!" Supergirl shouted
"wow, what a statement, Admiral Ackbar" Green Arrow smirked sarcastically
"it's a Hyperion network uplink. If we load into Sanctuary's power core, the shields will drop and that'll give that moonshot thingy the chance to bomb us" Supergirl explained
"wow… that is a very smart deduction, buttercup" Alex said, impressed
"well, then I guess we better head back to Sanctuary and see what's next on our agenda. If we find the Vault Key, we find Angel and hopefully, we'll find Lex and possibly, our way back to Earth" Green Arrow said
"but, there's one thing you forgot" Robin said
"oh boy…" Green Arrow moaned
"we gotta kill the Warrior and destroy Hyperion completely. Then and ONLY then can we ALL go to Earth" Robin explained
"oh pfft, how hard can killing a thousand year old alien thingy be?" Green Arrow said cockily
"it isn't a laughing matter Ollie. According to my research, these Warriors are very, VERY dangerous and they even possess the power to wipe out an ENTIRE planet" Alex said, everyone gasping in horror
"…Oh" Green Arrow said
"well we DID take down that robot guy, right? So if we do the same thing we did here, we'll have saved Pandora, wiped out Hyperion and be home in time for Red vs. Blue" Nightwing said confidently
"yeah, he does have pretty good points" Maya admitted
"um guys? How long are we gonna be out here?" Kara asked
"ooh, you're right. Come on, let's amscray before Mr. Clean sends any more of his lousy mecha-mooks our way" Black Mask ordered as they took the Fast Travel Station back to Sanctuary
"…so Lex said he's holding the Vault Key somewhere in the Highlands?" Roland asked
"yup" Black Mask answered
"and Wilhelm?" Lilith asked
"well he went out with a pretty big bang" Dinah joked
"well, at least we now know where Lex is holding both Angel and the Vault Key. We'll move our base of operations over to the town of Overlook. Get through the Fridge. I'll explain the rest to you later" Roland ordered
"hey, hey, hey, wait a second; aint The Fridge supposed to be infested with rats?" Red Hood asked
"not anymore, sir. They was pretty delicious" Killer Croc grinned, licking his chops
"…you disgust me" Batman snarled, as the Leaguers and Vault Hunters headed off to the Highlands
