DISCLAIMER: BEYBLADE BELONGS TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER/S
EXTRA
A few days after coming back to Tokyo, I decided to finally meet up with Brooklyn and ask him when and where he'll be having his wedding. When we finally met again on our set up date, I never expected to see him with his girlfriend (now fiancé). She was a petite girl with small face and cute big eyes. Her hair was long and curled and reached up to her back. She was short, a bit shorter than me at least. She had the sweetest smile that could rival Ming-Ming's, Blue Moon's resident beauty queen and singer.
When I met her and got to know her in that short amount of time, at the back of my head, I was sighing with relief but at the same time crying.
I was happy that she seemed like a really nice girl and by the way she and Brooklyn interacted what with all the jokes and teasing with each other, I just knew how much Brooklyn loved her.
And it was painful.
It took my all to not cry and just bawl in front of them. All the while that we were chatting, I kept faking my smile.
"I'll see you on my wedding, Rei" Brooklyn happily told me. I nodded at him and told him that I wouldn't miss it for the world.
On December 18th, I dressed my best in a bluish gray suit and red tie. The tie was Hilary's idea. I had my hair all slicked and brushed back, with few of my unruly bangs sticking out to my forehead, and tied to a neat braid. I took one last look at my full-body mirror and damn don't I just fit in this suit perfectly? With a wink and playful smirk to my reflection – don't judge me— I grabbed my phone and left my room to see Hilary downstairs. I had Brooklyn's permission to bring her as my "date". They've met several times so it was no biggie.
I saw Hilary and I almost skipped a step on the stairs. She was absolutely rocking her elegant light blue cocktail dress matched with white strapped high-heels. She had her hair curled and then tied to a cute single bun embedded with rose hairpins. Tyson really better step his game up if he really wanted to hook up with her.
"You ready?"
I smiled at her and nodded.
Hilary was one of the few people I told about my plan on attending my best friend's wedding. And she was ecstatic but at the same time worried. Well for one I'd be totally killing myself watching my (secret) first love marrying another woman. But she knew it was the best. She told me exactly what Kai said.
And here I was secretly wishing at the back of mind that Hilary wouldn't agree and tell me that my decision was wrong and slap that in Kai's face.
Oh well.
The wedding wasn't as extravagant as I expected it would be. During the wedding reception, I got to talk to Brooklyn again and he told me that it was his (now) wife's choice to not make anything too luxurious. He said she preferred everything to be simple and that it was the meaning of the whole celebration that mattered. Damn lady was deep.
There also weren't that many guests. Most were members of the family from each side and some close friends.
During the speech of the couple, I sat with Hilary and just listened as Brooklyn described how lucky he was for having found such a lovely wife. That she was everything he had wished for. That she was like a person out of his dreams. Every word he said was like a sharp knife happily stabbing me.
And then the bomb just had to be dropped when he mentioned my name.
"You were always there for me, actually even when I didn't want you there. When everything in my life was just a mess and even I was so disgusted of myself, you still stayed by my side and held on to my hand no matter how much I tried to push you away. You always brought me back to the right path and you were the only person who never lied to me about what he really felt. Thank you Rei. Thank you for being one of those who made me turn out to be the person I am today."
I gave up and my eyes started to sting with my damn tears. Hilary tapped my shoulder and looked at me with a pained expression. To everyone else, I might have seemed too touched by Brooklyn's words which was well, actually half true.
The first few parts were fine and all but damn it when he said that I have never lied to him about my feelings, my heart just shattered and I couldn't keep it together anymore. When I was on the verge of really breaking down, I opted to leave the reception room.
Like hell I'd wail like an idiot in there even more so than the mother who was marrying her son off.
He's wrong. Brooklyn's so damn wrong. I've lied to him for a long time. First I lied to him about me being gay and second, of me being stupidly in love with him. I didn't deserve to be thanked by him. I didn't deserve all the credit he was giving me. I wasn't worthy of any of it.
And as I cried my heart out right outside the hotel building, I never expected Brooklyn to chase after me. When I heard him call out to me, I quickly tried to dry my eyes but my fucking tears wouldn't stop coming out. I tried to walk away but Brooklyn was quick to take my hand.
"Please just wait Rei."
"Are you an idiot? Why did you follow me? I just needed some air. Your speech was so fucking cheesy." Ahh there I go again. Telling him lies.
"I'm sorry Rei."
His tone wasn't that of someone apologizing to a friend for a cheesy speech. It was more of an apology with a deeper meaning.
And then it finally dawned on me.
And I ended up laughing miserably.
"You knew all along."
He didn't answer but the expression on his face proved me right. I was fucking right.
He knew how I felt for him.
Well, screw holding back then!
"I lied. I've been lying to you since middle school."
I laughed pathetically while crying.
"I lied about how I was happy for you when you told me you were getting married. I lied when I said I was okay with it. I lied about me loving you all this time. I lied Brooklyn. I've lied to you all this time!"
Fuck, my tears were gushing out of my eyes like it was no one's business and I won't be surprised if all the water in my body gets drained by tomorrow.
"Someone told me that if I was ever gonna forget about you then I had to burn it in my mind and in my heart. The image of you marrying someone else; of you giving an eternal vow of spending the rest of your life not with me but with her. I had to drill it in my heart that no matter what else happened, you and I will never be together. That now, and even then, I will never have a place in your heart as more than just a fucking best friend. I had to make it clear to myself so I could stop loving you and hoping and waiting that maybe, just maybe, someday, there will actually be an us."
Oh god my tears were just coming out like a boss and I feel like my heart would just abruptly stop with my heavy sobbing. But no. I can't stop yet. I need this all out my system once and for all.
"And I've always felt guilty of not telling you that I'm gay. You were slowly killing me by being so oblivious to my feelings and I know I should have just let go because I already fucking knew you were never going to take notice of me but I just couldn't. Whenever I tried I just ended up wanting you over and over again. I was sick of it."
I took a deep breath and dropped the bomb.
"I'm sick and tired of the pain of loving you."
The pained and teary expression Brooklyn had was painful to look at. It was like the face he made when his parents divorced. And he was really in pain back then.
And slowly but surely, as I kept spouting these crap, my heart was shattering and fading away.
I forced one last smile. "But I'm okay now. Now that all has been said and done. I'll… finally be able to forget my feelings for you. I'll move on."
"Rei…" He called my name in such a gentle and sweet voice. He tried to take my hand but I refused to let him touch me. At least not yet. I was afraid that my resolve would just go down the drain if he touched me. So I took another step back and hid my hands behind me.
"Don't worry. I'll be fine. This time it's the honest truth." I spun on my heels. "Now please go back to you wife and let me at least mourn my heart for a short while."
I expected him to leave not to hug me from behind.
"And this is the honest truth. When I first realized how you felt, I was thrown in a storm of feelings. I didn't know what to do but I knew I wasn't gay. Before I could try loving you, even more so than a best friend, I was overcome with fear. I tried to stop my growing feelings for you by distracting myself with other things and dating other girls. My cowardliness ended up hurting you."
He tightened his embrace and I could feel droplets of water on my shoulder where he's buried his head.
Damn it he was crying. I clasped my chest. Not yet. Please don't stop yet.
"I was the one who lied. I was the one not worthy of being your best friend. I know that I've hurt you all these years but please, believe me when I say that I loved you. I really did."
I bit my lip so hard I could almost taste the blood. But I nodded lightly to show that I understood him perfectly. And with a final "sorry", he finally let go of me and I heard his retreating footsteps.
Shit. I weakly looked up to try and pull back my tears but still they refused to obey me. I tilted my head ready to look at Brooklyn's back but a voice stopped me.
"Don't."
Ooh, it's Kai. Just perfect. Of all people to see me in this pathetic state. When I was expecting him to wear an I-told-you-so smirk, all he did was look nonchalantly at me. No pitiful look.
I sniffed and wiped my nose when I felt some snot daring to shamelessly reveal themselves.
"That's disgusting" Kai said but in a teasing tone rather than really insulting me. I pouted and sobbed. He lightly chuckled and walked over to me. And before I could stop him or move away, he placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair. My slick hair was not so neat any more and more of my bangs fell.
And it took me hours to fix it too. Damn him.
I glared up at him through my tears and as expected it was useless. But Kai answered my glare with a sweet smile that my annoyance of him never really lasted.
He then pulled away and offered a hand to me.
With the same genuine curve on his lips he said a simple "C'mon".
Though I was a bit hesitant at first, I reached out and grabbed that hand.
END.
I'll be honest, I did tear up a bit when I wrote Rei's dialogue. It was because I had my media player on and it suddenly played an emotional piano piece right when I was typing it and I already had the image in my head. So I was kind of watching the illusionary scene in my mind complete with all the voices and the background music. In any case, sorry for the cheesiness lol.
This was sort of based on real life BTW. Not mine though, I was just the "third party" in what happened LOL. And by third party i mean I was one of the "on-lookers". Not exactly her lines but yeah, you get the point xD
Anyway, I hope you liked this little extra.
And as always I welcome all reviews! C'mon give me some motivation xD
Once again, thank you for reading! o v o b
