I still don't own any of these characters, I'm simply responsible for their actions.


What, exactly, does one wear on an all day outing with a cute boy who they don't want to like? This is the problem I was faced with. All of the thought I put into the outfit in my five minute shower was for naught. I looked at my clothes in abject horror, mainly because my method of putting together an ensemble usually consisted of asking myself the following questions: 1. Is it weather appropriate? 2. Are the clothes at least semi-clean? 3. Would my step sister, Leah, wear it? 4. Do I look like a douche?

Do these rules apply to non-dates with non-crushes? Thankfully, I didn't have to worry for long, because just as I was starting to panic about whether I should wear short sleeves or a tank top (If I lift my arms, will my cuts and scars show? If they show, will he care? Does the fact that I'm even thinking this much into it prove something?), Alice showed up to save the day.

"You look like you're about to poop your pants. I haven't actually seen you pooping your pants, so I don't know if you end up doing that or not, but I'm very close to grabbing you some toilet paper. What is your deal?" In her normal Alice fashion, she spat all of this out quickly, and loudly, and while digging through my clothes to find something for me to wear.

"I don't know what to wear. Is a tank top a bad idea?" I felt like a complete twat for asking her. I felt like I was on an episode of Hannah Montana or something. The Bella of last week would kick the Bella of this week in the spine and tell her to put on her big girl panties. Unfortunately, the Bella of last week was nowhere to be found. Traitorous bitch.

"Won't matter," Alice said noncommittally. I didn't like that.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that it won't matter. I can't tell you why. Let's for now go with the logical explanation that you are here, and he has probably seen your file," the frustration in her voice was a little frightening. "Why do you care, anyway? I thought you hated him and his hairy ballsack," she stuck out her tongue at me.

"I never said I hated him, just that we weren't going to fall in love. Whatever," I grumbled and put on the outfit she handed me, which ended up being perfect. Denim shorts, white t-shirt, chucks. Having a best friend was kind of awesome.

After I dressed, she pushed me down so I was sitting on my bed, and combed out my wet hair so she could braid it away from my face. By the time she was finished, I looked comfortable, cute, and like I put no effort into it. As Alice had informed me, my outfit said "I am always this cute, it has nothing to do whatsoever with the fact that I am hanging out with you."

When Edward showed up to get me, I instantly wished that he would have picked an outfit that said the same thing. Instead, he was wearing that stupid, boring, totally hot black shirt from breakfast with jeans and black boots. I wanted to smack him, and lick his face, at the same time. Not that I liked him or anything. Because I didn't. FUCK.

I grabbed the two books on top of my large pile, not bothering to look at what they were, and the blanket from the foot of my bed, assuming Edward forgot one. With a wave from Alice, we were off to the famed meadow by the basketball courts. Sounds romantic, right?

We were mostly silent on our walk, but it was much less awkward than the usual silences we endured together. I pretended not to notice him looking at me every five seconds, he pretended he wasn't tripping over nothing every hundred yards or so. In short, it wasn't terribly unpleasant.

When we got to the woods, I was hesitant. To be honest, I was concerned that spazzo would trip over a tree root or something and I'd be forced to drag his body (God, how tall is he anyway? 6'3"?) to a location where Dr. Cullen could make sure he wasn't dead. I gave Edward a wary look, which he misunderstood.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you or anything. I swear, like 100 yards into the woods is a huge meadow with a whole bunch of flowers, and the creek runs through it. It's really nice," he said, moving everything he was holding into his right hand so he could lead me with his left at the small of my back. I might have stayed still a second longer so he would use more pressure there, because it felt nice.

As I walked, I tried to say my mantra in my head, but I forgot it. I should have said it in the mirror when I had the chance. Pathetic.

True to his word, we made it to the meadow and I was not disappointed. Better yet, he only tripped once. He pulled a blanket out of his bag (look who was prepared after all), and laid it on the ground for us to sit on. I took advantage of the opportunity to not wear shoes, and slipped out of my high tops and socks before laying out on the blanket, taking up more room than was fair, but not particularly caring. On my stomach, I used my hands as a pillow and relaxed. He could push me out of the way, or lay down on the other blanket if he didn't like it.

But he didn't. Of course he didn't. No, instead, he simply laid down next to me, and on me where my body was in his way. So there he is, on his back, with his leg on top of mine, and his arm resting on my arm. It should have been uncomfortable. I should have been mad. Instead, I let my mouth go off while I was busy wondering if that fantastic smell was cologne, shampoo, deodorant, or some freakish man-smell that he naturally possessed.

"Do you usually use guests as pillows? Is that even allowed?" Nice, Bella. Real nice.

"I don't usually use anyone as a pillow. However, people usually don't take up as much space as you do. You are short, and resemble a toothpick. How can you take up more room than Emmett?" His words implied that he was annoyed, his inflection implied that he was impressed. I went with the latter.

"Because I'm awesome, that's how. My question is how you could possibly know what it's like to lay next to Emmett. You also never answered if this could get us in trouble." I didn't want to be a nudge, but I was starting to get concerned. Edward may be a spaz, but he wasn't stupid, and he avoided that question for a reason. I didn't want to get into trouble, I just wanted to get this summer over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. It was at that moment when I began to realize how much Edward could throw a wrench in those plans. I had to do what I could to make sure that didn't happen.

I wasn't looking at this experience with rose-tinted glasses; I wasn't expecting to go home normal, or feeling comfortable with my weight or with the knowledge that I'd never hurt myself again. I just wanted to get through this summer with a good report from Dr. Cullen so my dad and Sue would leave me alone. He could not mess this up for me. God only knows what Charlie would do if I got kicked out of camp for fucking a counselor. The more I thought about it, the more I was genuinely angry with Edward for his cavalier attitude about the situation. I wanted to punch him, but that's sort of how I ended up there in the first place. I settled for rolling over quickly, thus knocking him off kilter and sending him onto his face in the grass.

Bella, 1. Edward, 0.

I sat with my legs crossed (hells yeah, criss-cross applesauce), and stared at the back of Edward's head while he came to terms with what just happened. It didn't take him long, because before I even realized what was happening, he had dove on top of me and was tickling me like a mad man. A mad man who wanted to die, apparently. There was only one problem – he was a hell of a lot stronger than me.

"Say you're sorry, Bella. That was rude." He said in a very calm voice. I pretended I didn't hear him.

As I tried to wriggle from his grasp, he sat on my thighs, held my arms above my head, and tickled my torso until I was gasping for breath with tears streaming down my face. I begged for him to stop. I threatened his life. I tried to kick him in the balls.

"Say you're sorry, and it'll all end. You just have to say 'I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have done that. You're so manly and handsome, please forgive me,'" he ordered in what he thought my voice sounded like. I was going to kill him for this. He continued to tickle. My muscles were starting to hurt, and I was concerned I might wet my pants.

"Say it..." he said more quietly this time, close enough to my ear that I could feel his breath on my neck. We were approaching the danger zone. I gave in for the greater good.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled between hysteric fits of laughter.

"And..." he prompted with a smirk that was quickly growing into a full out grin.

"And you're handsome and manly and whatever. Please stop!" I hated him. I hated him. I hated him.

"I guess that'll do," he sighed, and finally stopped tickling, but left his hands on the small of my waist. "You're not a very good sport, you know."

Bella, 1. Edward, 1. Bastard.

"I hate you. May I please sit up now?" I was trying my best to be polite. Maybe if I played my cards right, I could plot and plan my revenge until the opportune moment. He gave me a look that clearly said "I'm on to you." God I hated him.

"If I let you go, you aren't allowed to tickle me. Just remember how much stronger than you I am, little girl." He slowly got off of my lap and let go of me, then used two fingers to point at his eyes, then mine, then back at his to show he was watching me. It would have been cute, if I didn't hate him.

I tried to gather what little of my pride I had left and sat back up.

"I will get you back for that," I said very seriously to him.

"I'm sure you will, wee one," he said with another smirk. Fucking smirk.

"No, really, I can guarantee it."

"Ten bucks says you can't," he said to me. This boy was clearly an idiot who wanted to be poor.

"You are so on." Silence ensued.

I desperately wanted to check my hair to see if it got messed up, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I chose to avoid the constant eye contact he kept trying to make with me.

"You can't just not look at me ever again," he said, lifting my face by my chin so I would look at him. Out of spite, I closed my eyes. He sighed.

"And, for the record," he said with his hand still under my chin, "laying next to you on a picnic blanket would not result in either of us getting in trouble. Especially when you take into account that I am not technically a mentor. I do whatever odd jobs they need me to do in exchange for free sessions with Carlisle, and a free place to stay. The Hales pretty much spoil the crap out of me." The abrupt change in the tone of the conversation made me open my eyes, which made me very sorry. Crap. He was really cute.

"That's..." I didn't know what that was. Shit. My brain was broken. "So, what are your sessions with Carlisle for? And who is Carlisle?" I began to hope that asking that question would become less awkward the longer I was at Sap. (For the record, it did not.) Edward tensed, and moved his hand away from my face, choosing instead to play with a loose thread on the blanket.

"Carlisle is Dr. Cullen. I got sent here last year because I tried to kill myself," he said, and then he held up a hand as if to stop me from speaking (which I was totally about to do, because I'm a nosy fuck). "No, I'm not going to kill myself. And it doesn't matter why I tried," he leveled me with a look that said 'don't test me.'

"I'm still here because my dad raised me, and he was an asshole, and now I'm chock full of issues. Good enough?" He looked like there was nothing in the world he wanted to talk about less than what we were discussing. I threw him a bone.

"Good enough," I told him, feeling a little guilty.

"Oh, and don't worry, I've already seen your file, so I won't ask you the same question." I couldn't tell if he was telling me that to calm me, to unnerve me, or to piss me off. I naturally assumed option number three.

"So, what would happen if you were caught laying with me on this blanket?" I asked.

"We'd probably get some weird looks, and Rosalie and Emmett would make fun of me," he sort of shrugged at the end of the sentence.

"And if we were cuddling on the blanket?"

"Are you asking me to cuddle?" He was smirking now.

"What would happen?"

"Probably the same thing as if we were just laying. Really, there aren't a lot of rules for me to follow here. I mean, I promised not to sleep with any guests, but at the time we were talking about that weird girl who hides all of her shit. Isn't she in your cabin?" Edward began to squirm a bit where he sat, getting uncomfortable with my excessive eye contact.

"What would happen if we got caught making out on the blanket?" I moved a little closer, so one of my knees was touching him. He froze, which I was thankful for. I was half expecting him to jump and accidentally head butt me or something. Edward's not the most graceful.

"They'd, uh," he sort of gulped like a cartoon character, which was entertaining. "They'd probably tell us to keep it clean, but I doubt there would be any further discussion." I got on my knees in front of him, and moved closer, so my face was next to his; my mouth to his ear.

"What would they do if your hands were up my shirt?" I paused and rested my hand on his inner thigh.

"Or if mine were in your jeans?" I moved my thumb in small circles, and felt the tendons in his thigh tighten. Edward let out a shaky breath.

"I don't know, I've never actually been caught in that situation, so..."

I hadn't planned to do it, but I couldn't help myself. I leaned in slowly and kissed his neck, just under his ear. Were necks supposed to taste good? Because his did. Apparently he liked it, because he let out a surprisingly feral sound from his chest. When I spoke again, I kept my lips against the now moist spot below his ear.

"Well then what do you think would happen," I moved up to lick the shell of his ear, "if someone came back here to the meadow," I lowered my voice to just above a whisper, "and you were fucking my brains out against that tree?" When I finished speaking, I bit his earlobe, and he groaned. It was an absolutely fantastic sound. I wanted to hear it constantly, perhaps interspersed with mumblings of my name and various expletives. Or, at least, that's what I would want if I liked him. Which I did not, because I hated him. Clearly.

"Is that-" he stopped himself, closed his eyes, and breathed in and out slowly. "I doubt they would be very pleased to see that happen on camp grounds." He finally said, while avoiding looking at me.

"Good," I told him. "Because it is never going to fucking happen. Now give me my ten bucks." I leaned away and grabbed the pack of smokes Alice had given me out of my bag to light one.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He yelled, while trying to nonchalantly adjust himself. Let me rephrase that; while he tried to move his GIANT FUCKING PENIS THAT WAS CLEARLY OUTLINED THROUGH HIS JEANS BECAUSE, DEAR GOD, HE WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR.

"No," I spoke around my cigarette as I lit it, "I am not. I told you that I would get you back. Now pay up, sucker." I started to mentally alphabetize my books in an effort to not think about how hot he was, the way he sounded when groaned, or the clothed view I got of his massive dick.

I was so fucked. And not even in the way I wanted (or, didn't want... FUCK).

Edward pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out two fives. That's when Alice's creepy ability to make educated guesses or whatever the fuck Dr. Cullen has her saying – bitch can totally see the future – hit me.

"Alice was totally right, you know," I pointed at his wallet as I shoved the bills into my pocket. He only rolled his eyes. Had we both been sort of secretly hoping her warning was so that we'd have a condom? Not that I would have had sex with him or anything. I needed a conversation change, pronto...

"Hey, if you work for free, how do you have money? Did I just rob you of your last ten bucks?" He leveled a glare at me. "I don't feel guilty if that's the truth, I'm just curious," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Keep doing that and someone will bite it off," he warned me. "My dad died before I came here to work and left me enough money for me to be comfortable for... a while."

"Oh, I love it when you talk cryptically to me, baby. Do it again." I waggled my eyebrows, which led to him smirking. I hated that goddamn smirk. Shit should be illegal.

"All right, what books did you bring? I'm not reading anything found in the paperback romance section, by the way," he pointed at me accusingly. Did I look like that type of girl? I had to suppress the urge to punch him. Again.

"I didn't look at what I brought, I just grabbed the first two off the top. Let's see, we have..." I grabbed the books out of my purse and smiled widely. "A Farewell to Arms and Women." I held both up for him to see the covers.

"Bella, you are the strangest girl I have ever met," he smiled broadly at me, and my insides would have turned to goo if I was into him. Which I was not. At all.

He grabbed Women out of my hand and in a flash pulled me toward him and spun me around (while only accidentally elbowing me once – improvements, yay!) so that I was leaning against his back, sitting between his legs. It was comfortable, and intimate, and warm, and it smelled good there, so I stayed. And when he opened up the book in front of us both, and handed me a bottle of water from his bag, I leaned back into him more and forgot about the fact that he was the wrench in my summer plans at NHSC. I forgot about most things, actually.

We stayed like that for a while, reading aloud our favorite parts, and discussing if we thought his real life Linda was attractive or not. Then we googled her on my cell phone and became horrified, so we smoked more of Alice's cigarettes and laughed and shared the grapes and apples and peanut butter he brought. And when I refused to eat more when I was full, he tried to feed me. And when I shoved an apple slice covered in peanut butter up his nose, he laughed instead of punching me in the stomach.

After a while my butt fell asleep, and he got sick of my shoulder blades assaulting his internal organs, so we got up to stretch.

"You know," I said as I raised my arms above my head to stretch, "there are worse ways I could have spent a Saturday. It's not every day you get to see a fake camp counselors boner outlined in his jeans, you know." Edward did a face-palm.

"And less than a day after I saw your balls, no less. You are on a roll, friend." I stuck my tongue out at him and walked over to the creek, thinking it'd be nice to stick my toes in. I could hear him following me, and feel his eyes boring into the back of my skull. Apparently, he was not amused.

"Is the water usually cold?" I asked as I let my big toe just barely touch the water. I never got an answer, though, because Spazasaurus Rex tripped over his own damn feet and fell on me, causing us both to fall into the shallow water. Ever have over 6 feet of attractive male fall on you into a creek bed? It doesn't tickle. It feels like you are being crushed to death; one side of your body by a giant wall of muscle, the other side by sharp fucking rocks.

By the time I had my bearings enough to want to yell at him, I opened my eyes to see something I was completely unprepared for: a wet Edward. I'm talking hair dripping water down his face, shirt stuck to his chest, eyelashes holding droplets of moisture, wet. And he was on top of me, and warm, and supporting my head, and (probably) accidentally poking me in the stomach with wonder-penis who wanted to come out to play again. I was too distracted by how much I wanted him to try to convince myself that I didn't want to play, too.

So, when he leaned in very, very slowly to kiss me, I let him. And when his lips touched mine, both wet with water from the creek, I kissed him back. I became a woman possessed. I went from angry to horny in 2.5 flat. My hands flew into his hair, my leg curled around the back of his, and I opened my mouth for some good old fashion tongue sex. Edward did not disappoint.

The second he realized I was into it, he went into action, rolling us so we were out of the water. Hovering over me in the grass, he placed his hand on my cheek, and his thumb at the corner of my mouth, assuring it stayed open. His tongue traced my lips, and just when I wanted to groan because he wouldn't let me have it back, his tongue dove back into my mouth, officially turning me into jello.

Before I knew it, I was moaning and groaning and grabbing every part of him I could. I pulled on his hair, and his shirt, and his belt loops. He trailed kisses from my mouth down to my neck, and did unholy things to the hollow of my throat while I frantically tried to remember how to breathe. When I couldn't take it anymore, I flipped us so I was on top. I needed to be.

I pushed his shirt up so I could run my hands over his wet abs, and touch the blonde hair that looked so, so good the day before. It felt even better. And when I moved my kisses away from his lips to his jaw, so that I could fully enjoy the feel of that uneven stubble, Edward started talking. Sure, it was louder than the quiet moans I would have liked to hear, but I'd take what I could get.

"Bella! Shit, Bella!" Expletives and my name. Damn, I'm good.

"No, no, sweetie," he said, gently shaking my shoulder. Wait, what did he just call me? I sat upright immediately.

"Did you seriously just call me sweetie?" I asked him, beyond incredulous. "I am not your 'sweetie,' Edward. I'm not your anything. So we were making out, who cares? Just because you know what the back of my tongue feels like does not mean you can assign me pet names. Jesus, I know you have balls, I've SEEN them. Where the fuck are they?"

We could have been fine if he was normal. There would be no problems with my plan if we could just stay emotionally separate, while still having sexy times. Weren't guys supposed to be into that shit anyway? I hated him.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. But I stopped you because you're bleeding," he said, crawling out from beneath me to look at the back of my head. It was then that I noticed the pink water on his hand, and the red spots on my white t-shirt.

I'm pretty sure that's when I passed out. Awesome.


Thank you for reading, you are all wonderful! Please review, I love to hear from you. I'll have another chapter up as soon as I can.