Hey, so this is Winged with my portion of the fic! So sorry it took so long! Wild's probably tried to put it off as all her fault, but I really started procrastinating by not writing my piece until December, I think. Then we both procrastinated in editing. BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT, BECAUSE THIS FIC IS SERIOUSLY AWESOME. Wild's piece made me cry with the beauty of it. And, hopefully, my piece will have you crying tears of laughter. But without further ado (because you guys've put up with way too much ado), I present Proposals, Edition B!
"Daaaaaaaaaaine!" Thayet squealed, grasping my hand, "I've got your dreeeeeeeeeess! It's so preeeeeeeeeetty!"
"Whyyyyyyyyyy are weeeeeeeeee stretching our voweeeeeeeeeels?" I asked, relenting as she spun me around her room. Actually, it wasn't her room but her closet, though it was big enough to have housed my entire Snowsdale village. Before my wolf friends mauled them.
The closet was stuffed with all sorts of clothes, shoes, scarves, purses, dresses, breeches, jewelry, and even a few little dolls to try the oodles of miniature sample of the clothes already in the closet on! Thayet had named the dolls Barbie and Kelly. There was even a male doll named Ken which the Queen used to test out her outfits for the King. I pitied Jonathan; there were some pretty lacy, ruffle-y things hanging on ol' Ken today.
Today Thayet had added a new doll to her collection. Its name was Daine.
"C'mon Daine! Aren't you the least bit excited about the dress? Numair will loooooooooove iiiiiiiiiit!" Thayet struck, hitting my weak point.
"N-Numy will?" I stuttered, blushing bright red.
"Well of course! He'll just want to eat you up! Of course, that would only happen after he proposes!" Thayet wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I swore I started sweating. My face was probably neon-red. Is neon-red an actual color? I think it should be. I mean, there's a neon-yellow, a neon-blue, a neon-pink, a neon-green…
"Daine, honey, you're slouching." I jerked upright at Thayet's words, blushing a neon-neon-red as I noticed I had been flopping over. It was a bad habit of mine that happened whenever I got to thinking too hard. I think it happens to keep my brain oxygenated. You know, so that the oxygen could flow easier toward it? Well, whatever the case, I was glad it had gotten Thayet off my case about… about… Great, now I'm neon-red again. Maybe I should just dye my face this color and save myself the trouble.
"Anyways Daine, back to the important topic on hand: your dreeeeeeeeeess!" Thayet squealed, and promptly brought out a pair of scissors.
"Thayet," I started, looking into her earnest eyes warily, "What are those for?"
"These?" Thayet hefted the pair of silver scissors up, eyeing them appreciatively. When I nodded, she continued, "These are to encourage you to get undressed and put on the outfit I picked out for you. If you don't do it out of your own free will, I will cut your clothes off for you." When Thayet grinned evilly (is that spelled right? is that even a word?), I knew no amount of wild magic would keep her from putting me in the offending garment hidden somewhere behind her. I chose the safer tactic and stripped.
When I was down to my breast band and loincloth, Thayet brought out a bolt of blue cloth and shoved it over my head.
"This had better fit; I spent ages trying to get your sizes." Thayet mumbled under her breath, and I pretended not to have heard her comment. I wasn't even going to ask.
Pretty soon I was swathed in silken cloth and feeling godly. Or goddessly, but the first version worked better. Looking at myself in the mirror, I had my breath taken away. I truly looked heavenly. Heck, I wouldn't have minded kissing myself - that was how good the dress made me look.
"So what do you think?' I asked my companion, turning towards her, satisfied by the feeling of silk swooshing around my bare thighs. Thayet said nothing, just stared at me. Her pupils seemed a bit large, but I shrugged it off as the low lighting in her closet.
I repeated my question, and she answered in a creepy monotone. "Everything looks good on Master." Blinking at her, I quietly asked a passing mouse if he hadnoticed anything that might've triggered this stupor in the Queen. He was just as clueless as I was, but I still sent him off with a word of thanks and a crumb of cheese. (When you live as intimately with animals as I do, you learn to always keep a variety of food morsels on your person at all times. Just don't ask me whereI kept them.)
"I have a gift for Master. I hope Master appreciates it and does not scold her servant for being too forthright." Thayet robotically drew a pendant from her purse and bowed in front of me, the pendant stretched forth towards me. Although the necklace was beautiful, Thayet's behavior was a bit out of the ordinary.
"Thayet," I said with a nervous chuckle, "You're beginning to scare me."
"If Master is frightened by me, I will remove my presence." Thayet dropped the necklace in front of me and began heading towards the window.
Realizing her intentions a second before she reached the sill, I jumped towards her and pinned her feet to the ground with my own. "Oh no you don't, missy! I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm going to figure it out! Now, stay put while I change into something more versatile." I commanded, letting go of Thayet hesitantly.
"Master's wish is my command." Thayet continued in her monotone, snapping into a rigid posture. Slowly I removed the beautiful dress and placed it in the closet for later use, drawing on my more comfortable tunic and breeches. Turning around, I found Thayet staring at me, confused.
"Daine, what happened? You were trying on the dress, then I blacked out, and – Oh! Your necklace! I was going to surprise you with it!" Thayet pouted as she picked up the necklace and offered it to me. "Isn't it gorgeous?"
"Um, yes, very." I replied, still a little freaked by Thayet's sudden mood swings. Was this normal for her?
"I know, right?" Thayet squealed, grabbing my arm excitedly. I guess she was over whatever had been troubling her, "Jewelry completes the outfit! Oh, but you know what else you need? SHOES! I was thinking 5 inch heels, minimum." As Thayet continued to babble and drag me out of the castle to the market, I sent up a silent prayer to my mother, father, and whichever other god or goddess was willing to listen.
Please, don't make me wear heels!
"Jaaaaaaaaaac! I've brought you a customeeeeeeeeeer!" Thayet called out into the dimly lit shoe shop, reverting back to her ten-count-vowel speech.
"Thayet, is that you? And who is that PYT beside you? That's Pretty Young Thing in case you were wondering, babe." The man who appeared was a red-head, with small, circular spectacles and a slim goatee, and he winked at me.
"Sorry Jackie! Daine's taken!" Thayet winked at the ginger, and I briefly wondered if John should be worried. They were on a first name basis after all. That, or Thayet was having an affair with the multiple pairs of high-heels located around the store. I winced at some of the outlandish prices I saw.
"Thayet! You know how much I hate that nick-name." Turning to me, he announced "My name is plain old Jac young lady, but everybody but Queenie over there calls me Ollivander. Now, let's find the perfect pair of shoes for you!" Jac – Ollivander – led us further into the store, stopping at a giant cubby full of shoes of all different sizes and shapes. Instantly, Ollivander went from a playful young man to a serious store owner.
"Let's see now… How about dragon heartstring slippers? The sole is made out of oak!" Jack took a pair of flaming red shoes from the cubby and handed them to me. They exploded into a thousand flaming bits when they reached my hand, and Ollivander quickly muttered a spell to put out the fires.
"No good, huh?" He questioned, and as I fervently shook my head he pulled out another pair of shoes. "Let's try these. Willow siding and hair of a unicorn." The shoes Ollivander pulled out this time were a cream colored sparkling mess. They had barely touched my feet when they leapt back into their cubby hole. I could've sworn I heard indignant whinnying.
"Well that's a no! Ah! This pair should do the trick!" Ollivander pulled out a pair of brilliant blue shoes, the color of the edge of a burning fire. They matched my dress and necklace perfectly. "These are phoenix feather shoes, with a base of holly. I think these might do the trick." When I grasped the azure shoes, a feeling of peace swept through me.
"I like these!" I cheered, slipping the shoes on. They had a slight heel, but nothing I couldn't manage. The fit was perfect, and they were incredibly comfortable. Walking felt like I was floating on clouds, or else tying giant, feathery pillows to my feet.
"Interesting." Ollivander commented, "I sold a pair identical to those to a young boy about yea high with brilliant green eyes, messy black hair, and the most peculiar scar. Must've been a gift to his girlfriend!" Ollivander shrugged off the strange boy and turned to Thayet. "Should I put it on your tab?"
"Please!" Thayet replied, and then bustled me out of the shop. "Thanks for your help Jackie, you're a doll, but we really must leave! We have to prepare for the ball tonight, and I haven't even started Daine's make-up! It's going to be a special night for her, and I want her to look her very best!" Before I had even a second to ponder the Queen's words, I was swept up in Hurricane Thayet and breezed down the street.
The ball was magnificent. The floor was spread out so as to provide plenty of room for dancing. There were also dark corners, providing plenty of opportunity for, well, you know. I was a bit nervous as Thayet had dropped me off here, at the top of the grand staircase, by myself. She claimed she had some Queenly business to attend to, but the sparkle in her eye gave her away. I reckoned that in a few seconds, Jon would have a lovely surprise coming his way.
I clutched the simple blue shawl around me tighter. It seemed drab compared to all the other frivolities, but it was the only part of me that spoke 'Daine' tonight. The rest of me was some magnificent beauty; defiantly not my style. I was about to turn and leave out of sheer nervousness when I caught the eye of Alanna. For once in her life, she had on a ball gown. A jeweled ball gown. A sparkly, jeweled ball gown. A sparkly, jeweled, pink ball gown. If looks could kill, the one Alanna sent me for attempting to escape would've had me dead on sight. As it was, I couldn't bring myself to abandon her, especially when she showed me the dormouse stuffed into her poufy pink sleeve. There could possibly be a case of animal abuse if I didn't act quickly!
I hurried down the stairs, intent on reaching the treacherous Alanna, when I was stopped by a silky silver wall. Confused, I stared at it for a few seconds, trying to figure out why there would be a wall made of silk, and why it would choose to materialize (Get it? Get it? Yeah...) right in front of me. When I noticed the wall was slowly moving up in down in a pattern similar to breathing, I really got a fright. Until Numair bended down so we were at eye-level. I tried to stifle a shriek of surprise, but it came out sounding very un-ladylike.
"Daine? Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?" Numair asked me gently. Blushing heavily, I nodded slightly. Still looking at me with that funny little furrow he always gets between his eyes when he's worried, Numair took my elbow and led me to the dinner table. There I was met with Alanna, who was sneaking glanced at me and patting the lump in her long sleeve (this time I was blushing from anger), and Thayet, who made no effort to hide her eagerness for Numair and I, giving me extravagant winks and making little hearts in her pasta. I was back to blushing from embarrassment.
Onua and the men thankfully saw fit to continue on in a normal conversation, allowing me to slip in and comment every now and then. Numair was less occupied with his food than with my hair, playing with it throughout dinner. Glancing at him every once in a while, I was amused at how similar he looked to a kitten playing with a piece of string. At least I was amused until I realized that would make me the string, and I didn't like to be played. Then I scowled at him and sent him retreating into his (non-alcoholic: drunken mages are not fun) drink.
After a while, dinner was finished and Numair invited me to dance. I accepted, and we were about to leave to the dance floor when Thayet began making some very obvious fake-coughs. Turning back to her, I was mortified when she began gesturing wildly in some odd game of charades. Jon, catching sight of his wife, quickly mouthed at me "the shawl," and I hurriedly took it off to save Thayet from her spasms. She nodded approvingly, before getting the same look in her face as she had earlier that day when I had worn the dress for the first time. Looking around, I realized that every other person had the same look on their face as Thayet.
I was reaching nervously for my shawl when the whole congregation, Numair included, echoed in one voice "Master." Well, that wasn't creepy at all. When I began backing away, I ran straight into Numair, who looked at me with his blank eyes and did nothing.
The silence was beginning to disturb me, so I called out hesitantly, "Um, band people? A little music please?" After a round of "Whatever Master wishes," the band began playing a haunting tune. From out of thin air, a voice began singing:
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
As one, the mess of bodies around me began to organize. They formed even rows and columns, and began to dance. Not just any dance; they imitated the walking dead, their arms out to one side and their fingers hooked into claws. With the blank looks on their faces, it certainly did look like they were a multitude of zombies out to get me. A shiver ran down my spine and I hurried to scoop up my shawl. As soon as I put it on, the masses began to ebb, stumbling around confusedly. The band seemed to be wondering why they had their instruments out and were playing. The singing voice had reverted into a creepy talking one, and it finished its job with a round of creepy laughter. No one else seemed to be bothered by the fact that there had been a voice coming from no visible body.
"Daine, why do you still have you shawl on? Are you cold?" Numair asked me, having somehow found his way over to me.
Relieved to see his eyes looking very much alive again, a buried my face into his warm chest as I mumbled, "Don't ever go zombie on me again."
"Daine?" Numair asked, the furrow between his eyes returning.
Louder this time, I answered, "Oh yes, I'm very cold! C'mon, let's dance and maybe I'll warm up a bit!" Practically dragging Numair out onto the dance floor, I struck up a jig.
"Magelet, you do know that they're playing a waltz, right?" Numair chuckled, grabbing my left hand and snaking one of his arms around my waist. Blushing at the contact and my mistake, I dumbly nodded my head.
Throughout the slow dance, Numair seemed to be in some other world. When I called his name he'd snap back to reality and shoot a smile at me, but soon his head would be prodding the clouds again. Eventually I gave up, and contented myself with the pleasant heat flowing from his arm through me. He seemed to make up his mind suddenly, and when the song was nearing its close, he stopped dancing abruptly.
"Numair, what-" I choked on my words when he got down on one knee and looked upat me with glistening eyes.
"Verlidaine Sarrasri, could I have the pleasure of your hand in marriage?" Numair spoke softly and brought out a small velvet box. I was about to consent when I noticed the ring. It was plastic.
"What the heck is that?" I pointed disdainfully at the ring, anger beginning to take over me.
Numair looked confused, lifting up the ring. "This? This is your proposal ring. I searched everywhere for it! It came in its own plastic capsule. You can have that too, if you like. The blue of its cap matches your eyes! Or would you have preferred a Ring pop?"
"You got it from a vending machine? You're that cheap?" I was raising my hand to slap him when he cried for me to wait.
"You haven't seen the actual gift for you! The wedding ring's symbolic, yes, but I didn't want to waste my money on it. Instead, I got you a more useful gift!" Numair slipped the plastic ring onto my left hand, fourth finger, and gestured to a dark corner of the room. From it stepped the most magnificent creature I had ever seen.
"Numair…" I started, at a loss for words.
"Daine?" He answered back, awaiting my approval.
"Numair…"
"Daine?"
"Numair…"
"Daine?"
"Oh, just shut up and ride the damn llama off into the sunset already! 'I can hear the bells' and all that crap!" Alanna stormed out from where she'd been watching out exchange, grabbed the reins of the prettiest pure-black llama I'd ever seen, and dragged it over to me. In a daze I moved towards it, running my fingers through its silky fur. It spit affectionately in my face.
"Numair… It's perfect! I love it! I love you! Yes, let's get married!" I cried, dragging Numair up on top of the llama and jumping up in front of him.
"Of course, my sweet!" Numair cried as he summoned some cans to tie to the llama's tail and a sign that read "Just Engaged."
Though we didn't ride off into a sunset, I was certainly hearing wedding bells as Alanna had suggested.
"So Mr. Llama, what's your name?" I asked, snuggling up to Numair.
I am Emperor Kuzco! And it's all about me, me, me! I listened long enough to hear Kuzco the llama's name, before tuning him out and turning to Numair. Oh yes, this was going to be a very good wedding indeed!
Thanks for reading the full two-part of Proposals! Hopefully our next piece won't take so long, but I don't want to jinx us! Leave a comment if you like, but don't feel like you have to.
Winged, signing off. (I've always wanted to say that, like a spy or something. TEN-FORE!) (I think that's how you spell "fore.")
Oh, P.S. (I always feel funny typing/writing that. It's just weird. But anyway...) The character whom Jac/Olivander is referring to is none other than Mr. Harry Potter! Hee hee, I had to add that in. (Harry Potter = 3) Oh, and the llama at the end of the story is Emperor (probably just spelled that wrong) Kuzco from The Emperor's (probably just spelled that wrong again) New Groove. Yay for totally unrelated other book/media reference! I even threw Michael Jackson in there! XD
