Warning: This chapter is why the rating is M

JJ: I own nothing, unfortunately.

Rachel's POV

Mr Schue was being a ... a ... well let's just say I don't normally like to speak ill of people but he was being a royal pain in the butt! He'd finally come back to glee club, but as some kind of punishment he'd given Tina the lead vocal in a Westside Story number. Everybody knows that I'm Maria! I'd made that very clear to Schuester in the beginning. He'd tried to explain to me that he gave it away so as to boost people's confidence and encourage them not to get lazy and assume that I'd pick up the slack. But what I didn't understand is why I had to suffer. One day that man will find a way to inspire people without completely ruining my life!

I was just about to write the day off entirely as an utter failure when it picked up rather suddenly. "AUDITIONS!" written in big gold letters, surrounded but golden star stickers, the signup sheet was calling to me. Ms Sylvester and Mr Ryerson were putting on a production of Cabaret. This was it, my chance to be a star! If glee club couldn't appreciate my talent maybe the lead in the school musical would make them see. Who knows if it went well I might not need glee club at all. I could quit the stupid show choir, because, god knows I was too big for an ensemble anyway.

The more I thought about it the more the idea of quitting appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, Rachel Berry is no quitter but you have to do what you have to do, right? No one in the glee club was really my friend, they made it all too clear that they found me bossy and uptight and prissy and annoying. (I'm sure for certain people that list could go on and on). As for Finn, well since he'd clearly chosen Quinn, what did I have to lose?

After I'd got the lead in the musical I quit glee. Mr Schuester had tried to get me to come back but I didn't listen. I know he doesn't like me very much; it's just such a shame he's petty enough to let that affect his choices at glee club (very unprofessional if you ask me).

Another week passed and Finn hadn't said one word to me. Which I suppose didn't surprise me, or to be honest, didn't bother me much either. However, I did miss him terribly all the same. So you can imagine my surprise (and delight) when he proposed we go bowling, just the two of us. He said it would help me relax, and as I was definitely stressed out, I simply had to agree.

It was Friday night and I was dressed in one of my cutest cashmere sweater and skirt combinations. I was nervous as I'd never been bowling before (oh and FYI, if like me you're a bowling virgin, I suggest investing in your own shoes and ball. Did you know you have to share, with everyone? And they will just let anyone in that place!).

"Rachel," Finn hadn't really spoken much all evening, he'd been unusually quiet so his voice surprised me a little. Though I can't say I'd noticed the silence before now, I get chatty when I'm nervous. "I have to tell you something" he continued.

This was it, the 'make or break' moment. He was about to say he wanted me and not his Cheerio girlfriend or that this whole thing was a mistake, he didn't want to go bowling with me or ever see me again for that matter, I'm just a silly ex-glee girl that should leave him well alone.

"Well actually, it's more like a confession." Finn moved closer to me and we sat down in the hard plastic chairs, knees touching. "I was originally going to bring you here to trick you, kinda. Well I thought if I got you to be alone with me and I flirted a little you'd come back to glee."

My mind and body were numb. I think this is the only time I recollect ever being speechless. When he'd said "confession", my mind had immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. Gay. Dying. Moving away. But to hear he was going to try and seduce me, that was just a little odd.

"Why?" was all I could muster up, as my confusion danced across my face. Finn's head fell into his hands, a sudden burst of raw emotion flowing through him.

"God, Rach." I could see the muscles tightening around his neck and on his shoulders and arms, his hands balling into fists at his temples. Whatever it was that was making him feel like this, so lost and confused, frustrated at himself and... trapped, at that moment I would have given anything to untie those knots in his muscles, to help him release whatever it was that had him so wound up.

I put an arm around him, stroking his back, "its ok Finn." I said as gently as I could. "You can talk to me," initially he shied away from my affection, flinching slightly at my touch and scoffing dismissively at my words of comfort.

"You don't understand, Rachel! You have no idea. I need glee. Like really need it. And you, you just swan around being amazing and smart and talented-" he cut himself off. Mumbling under his breath and sighing heavily.

"You're right, I don't understand. Why do you need glee? Just talk to me. I can help, I'm your friend." I continued rubbing his back, the muscles in his shoulders slowly but visibly relaxing. I put my free hand into his. He looked at it and hesitantly gripped it before looking up at me.

"The football team sucks. Hardly anyone ever gets a sport scholarship anyway, even on a good team. If I have even the slightest chance of going to college I will need a scholarship, so music, glee, is my only shot."

The shock washed over me and my mouth opened a little in surprise. For the second time tonight, and my life, I was speechless.

"No, I know what you're thinking right, long shot. But if we just get through Sectionals to Regionals. And maybe even Nationals we'll get noticed." His excitement was almost contagious. He'd turned his whole body to me and gripping both of my hands tightly he was looking at me straight in the eyes with expectant enthusiasm. He saw the doubt in me and turned away again disappointed. "Thing is, we're not as good without you. The only way to get through Sectionals is if you're in glee too."

As flattered as I was that he'd set this whole thing up just to get me back, I was still a bit confused as to why Finn was having a sudden panic about his future, something he'd never seemed too phased about before.

The night had got a little tense after that. Finn went back into himself, his brain visibly ticking over and thinking all the time. He refused to say anymore on the subject and we finished the game and ate our pizza in silence. I was at a loss as to what to do or say, not just about the deadly silence of the car ride home but about the whole situation in general.

Finn pulled the car up outside my house. A couple of seconds went by that felt like a lifetime, I decided it was probably best if I just went into the house, save us from anymore awkwardness. I reached for the door and felt Finn's hand grab my arm. His eyes were still facing the road, but very slowly he turned to me. "Please," he said, almost a whisper. "Please come back to glee, Rach. A side from the fact that you're like the most talented person I know, I, I really miss you." He let go of my arm, his eyes were so full of sadness, and it was heartbreaking.

There was so much going on in him, something he wanted and needed to talk about but something was stopping him. "Oh Finn," my hand fluttered up to his cheek. He raised a hand to mine and leaned into my touch. A sigh escaped my lips. Suddenly Finn's hands were on my shoulders and his lips came crashing down on mine. I smothered a groan. I had wanted this so much. His lips felt perfect on mine. My fingers traced their way up his chest and his neck and wound their way into his hair. He moaned into me. It was divine. Without thinking I climbed into his lap, straddling him and pushed him back into his seat, without breaking the kiss. Finn's hands moved to my hips and pulled them closer into his. I pushed rhythmically into him, loving the affect it had on us.

Hands searching, hips grinding, tongues dancing. This was my idea of heaven! I love Finn Hudson!

I needed his hands all over me. I grabbed at one and with my gentle guidance he hesitantly travelled up my body to my breast, where I'd been longing for him to touch me. We both gasped slightly at the feel of his huge hands grasping my supple bosom. He broke the kiss and looked straight into my eyes, looking for any sign of hesitance. But this is what I wanted. I needed him to touch me, I wanted his hands all over me, to search my body learning my form better than his own. I knew this was much faster than the virginal Cheerio would let their physical relationship go, and I didn't want Finn to think I was loose or easy, but God it just felt so good, having him massage my breasts and kiss every inch of available skin.

I pressed my body closer to him, a primitive lust flashing in his eyes and I felt his hardness grow larger against me. I moved myself so that I was grinding against him, a low moan rumbled from his chest. His head fell forward and he nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply.

"God Rach, you're... uh, incredible. But... I, I have to go." He said, pulling away from me.

Disappointment ripped through me, I was so stupid. Finn does this every time! I'm an idiot for letting myself be drawn in by him, and then pushed away again and again. It was within me, a strong yearning need, a red hot hatred for myself and a love so deep, at that moment I knew I wouldn't have been able to let him leave, even if I tried.

I forced myself forward and our lips collided. I had expected to feel a little resistance but there was none. Finn kissed me just as passionately, just as deeply and desperately as I was kissing him.

In an almost frantic way we clambered into the back seat, with Finn above me I automatically pulled my sweater over my head followed by my tank top to reveal my bra and my spilling bosom. Finn buried his head into my chest, kissing me all over. He moved further south and my breath caught in my lungs. I knew he heard it because I felt him smile against my stomach and I was filled with joy. It was heavenly, Finn traced lines of kisses all over my abdomen and his hands caressed my bare thighs, moving higher and higher. His finger tips reached the hem of my skirt and slowly dipped under. My hips bucked at the sensation of Finn touching me in thus far uncharted territory, it was like nothing I could have ever imagined. Finn moved his kissing back to my neck and nibbled my ear.

"Rachel," he mumbled. "Rachel, I want you to know that this, all of this is completely new to me."

I knew it! I stifled a scream of want, "Mmm, I know, me too."

"Yeah, but I just want you to know that I am a virgin. Me and Qu- well, I've never had any kind of... Nothing like this, I've never done it before. OK?" Finn had pulled away and was looking at me intensely.

"Err, yeah. OK. I know"

***

Finn's POV

The way Rachel kissed me, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was like you could feel how much she wanted to be there with me. When she started moving into the back seat I had no idea what it was going to lead to. And then, when she took off her shirt and we started grinding, God it was so hot. She's got such a rockin' body.

But it was more than that, I'd been so confused lately about Quinn and our... situation. I'd ignored Rachel, avoided her for weeks and then without the slightest hesitation she'd agreed to go out with me. Rachel, who was always there for me when I needed her. Rachel, who never asked for anything in return, even though she deserves the world.

I still really liked her. I'd not gone near her, avoided situations that meant a lot of personal contact since Quinn had told me the news. It'd been even easier when Rachel quit glee. Easier not to see her that is, even harder not to miss her. I'd stayed away because I knew as soon as I saw her I'd want to tell her all about Quinn. The thought of keeping secrets from Rachel makes me feel sick. When I think about never being with her I get so stressed out and all this emotion spills out, I don't know whether to cry hysterically like a little girl or punch the crap out of the nearest wall.

It's like I just need to be with Rachel, to touch her, smell her, just to hear her voice. It'd been wonderful tonight just to hear her rabbiting on all evening, it had made it so easy not to think and just listen. I didn't want to say anything in case she stopped, and all the thoughts I'd been blocking out about the mess I'd made would come rushing back. She's so beautiful and smart and God, that voice, she's so talented and she sees the world as this really good, simple place. If you want something, then just go get it, kinda thing.

When she kisses me, I can't help myself, it's hypnotising and I develop this complete lack of self control. I could feel her hands travelling down my body, my hips jerked towards her of their own accord, responding to her soft thighs squeezing me and wrapping themselves around me. I felt her little hands dive under my belt and seize hold. I grunted loudly as she massaged my thoroughly neglected dick. Already rock hard, at her touch I swelled so much I thought my whole body was going to explode.

I could feel Rachel moving underneath me, my head screaming with expectant joy as I realised she was wriggling out of her skirt. In an expert move she released me from my pants and lifted one knee so I was closer to her. I shrugged off my shirt so we were lying skin to skin. Rachel licked her lips as she grabbed hold of one of my hands and thrust it between her legs. It was so hot; I had a real struggle keeping control.

I pulled the silky material away from her and slowly slid my fingers between her legs. But it was hard to concentrate on what I was doing; Rachel was rhythmically pulling expertly on me and squeezing in all the right places, kneading shudders of pleasure out of me. Looking at Rachel, she was the incarnation of sexy, throwing her head back and gripping my ass as she writhed below me.

I tested the waters and dipped my finger inside her, immediately she thrust her hips into me, I pressed in deeper and she bit her lip encouragingly. Adding another finger and moving slowly in and out, she moaned my name and her hands worked faster and tighter, both of us moving quicker and quicker. She screamed my name and I thought I was gunna blow my load all over her, right there.

It was like she read my mind. Rachel pulled me down onto her and pushing my hand out of the way she placed my tip against her. Instantly I thrust into her and we both moaned with pleasure. Fireworks went off inside me; I'd reached the Holy Grail. I pulled out and heard Rachel whimper and my body reacted as my brain was still savouring the perfection of that noise. I pushed back into her deeper and deeper.

I found a rhythm and we both grunted as I sped up, each thrust further and harder than the one before. Rachel's breathing became faster with me whilst she tore at my back and urged me on, biting my shoulder as she gasped and moaned wanting me. With one final thrust she threw her head back onto the seats, arching her back letting out a cry of ecstasy. I too climaxed and collapsed onto her heaving body, riding out our orgasms. We were both dripping in sweat, lying next to naked in the dark of my car, neither of us wanting to break the sheer perfection that was our first times.

JJ: A lot of this ended up on the editing room floor, so I hope this works.

I need reviews guys, this story has had such an incredible response I am so grateful, so thank you to everyone!! I want to know what you think, good or bad, you can only get what you want if you tell me.

R+R=LOVE