Lillian heard the front door open, close, and then lock quietly. She sat up in bed, listening to the sound of Jax make his way down the hall to his room. She reached over and turned on the lamp on the nightstand as Jax pushed open the door.
"What are you doing up?" Jax asked. He made his way to her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"Got used to falling asleep beside you, I have a hard time when you're not here I guess." The feelings she had for Jax were terrifying to her. It had only been a few weeks and she was already in deep. Jax shrugged out of his cut and hung it on the back of his bedroom door. He moved to the dresser and began emptying his pockets and taking off his rings.
"Abel should be cleared to come home tomorrow. Figured since we'll be there, we'll talk to the doctor about getting you a new shoe." Jax nodded at her cast. It had been about an month since the accident and she was due to switch to a walking cast. Which luckily for Lillian meant no more crutches. Jax peeled his shirt over his head, unhooked his belt and slid his jeans off. He dove into the bed beside her and slung an arm around her waist.
"Long day at the office?" Lillian laughed, running her fingers through his hair.
"Always with Clay."
"Wanna talk about it?" Lillian asked softly, brushing Jax's hair back away from his face.
"Not sure what there is to say." Lillian knew not to push the subject.
"I understand, but if you ever need to clear some noise from up here." Lillian tapped the side of Jax's head lightly. "I've been known to be a good listener." Jax smiled and pulled Lillian on top of him.
"Talking is the last thing I wanna do right now." Lillian smirked and leaned forward pressing her lips to Jax's. Jax's hands found Lillian's hips and squeezed, earning him a quiet moan. Lillian started to grind her ass against Jax's crotch but stopped when she felt him tense underneath of her.
"Jax? What's wrong?" Jax let out a sigh.
"I've only got so much self control sweetheart." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Lillian leaned down and whispered into Jax's ear.
"Who said you need self control?" She nibbled on his earlobe and shrieked when Jax flipped them over so that he was on top.
"You're gunna regret that darlin" Jax ripped Lillian's panties off, throwing the shredded fabric onto the floor. He spread Lillian's legs and kissed down the inside of her thigh, he slid a finger along her sweet little snatch. Jax couldn't believe how wet she was already. He slid a finger inside her and moaned at how tight she was. Lillian let out a quiet gasp as Jax started to pump his finger inside of her.
"Jax please…" Lillian whimpered. Jax took that as a sign that she needed some more attention and buried his face in her virgin pussy. He felt Lillian's hands knot in his hair as his tongue flicked and rolled over her clit. She tasted better than any women he'd ever gone down on, the thought of no other man touching her the way he has made him harder than he'd ever been. Lillian's back arched, as she pulled on Jax's hair. He looked up and watched her face as what he could only assume was her first orgasm rocked her body. Lillian's moans fueled Jax's desire as he yanked his boxers down and slid the tip of his dick inside her, letting his head hang as he felt how tight she was.
"I'll be gentle baby, but this is gunna hurt." Jax's eyes met Lillian's and she nodded. "Tell me when to stop okay." Jax started to push himself in gently and watched the shock appear in her eyes. Jax knew it was painful to have herself stretched like this for the first time but she wasn't giving anything away. Jax knew that he was going to have to break her hymen, so he pulled out slightly and thrust himself back into her hole. She let out a little cry, and covered her mouth. Jax started to rock himself into her.
"I know baby, I know it hurts but it'll get better." He wrapped Lillian's legs around his waist and for the first time in a very, very long time he made love to a woman he cared about.
Lillian walked into the hospital with Jax and found Gemma waiting with Tara She could feel the hate in the air, and decided she'd let Jax take the lead.
"Hey little man! We're busting you out of this place." Jax said scooping Abel out of his mother's arms. Lillian smiled down at Abel and picked up his little hand.
"Hey baby boy, I've missed you!" Jax laughed.
"As if you weren't here yesterday Lily." Lillian shrugged and kissed Abel's little hand. Lillian could feel eyes burning into her back of her head, but she didn't care. Gemma smirked and put her hands on her hips, she eyed Tara smugly.
"So who is it that's going to be Abel's primary caretaker?" Tara asked crossing her arms over her clipboard.
"What do you mean?" Jax asked.
"Well you can't exactly strap a car seat to a Harley Jax." Tara retorted. Damn this bitch was snippy, Lillian thought.
"Are you trying to say Jax is incapable?" Gemma snapped. Lillian could see that Jax was starting to tense, she laid a hand on his arm and felt him relax.
"I'm not saying that he's incapable, I'm saying that being a father is a full time job. He's going to need help."
"He has help, I can watch Abel during the day and I'm sure Lillian wouldn't mind helping at night since she pretty much lives there." Gemma said back icily.
"She lives with you?" Tara scoffed. "You sure thought that one through Jax." Lillian took a step closer to Tara and flashed the classic Kozik "you just fucked up" smile.
"Look Doc, I don't know what your beef is but you can drop it. Not that it's any of your concern, but I don't live with Jax. I occasionally spend the night and Gemma is right, I have absolutely no problem helping out with Abel." Tara opened her mouth to speak again but was interrupted when a blonde woman joined them.
"Ah perfect timing Wendy. Junkie, this is girlfriend. Girlfriend, this is junkie." Gemma said smugly. Lillian turned to look at the blonde woman standing between Gemma and Tara. So this was Abel's mother.
"Mom, c'mon." Jax said sternly.
"Don't go giving Jax false hope Gem, we all know I'm out of his league." She winked at Gemma.
"He likes you." Wendy said nodding towards Abel's death grip on her finger.
"That he does." Lillian replied. She didn't know where she stood with Wendy. She knew that no matter what she did, Tara would never like her but Wendy seemed to not mind her.
"I wanna thank you." Wendy said. Tara rolled her eyes and stomped off.
"Thank me?" Lillian asked.
"You stepped up and was there for Abel when I couldn't be. You took care of my boy." Lillian felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest. Did Wendy coming back mean that she wouldn't be a part of Jax and Abel's lives anymore?
"I did what any one would have done Wendy, there's no need to thank me." Wendy squeezed Lillian's free hand.
"Keep it up, they're both lucky to have you." She smiled at Jax. "I'll see you guys at the house later." With that, she walked away. Lillian turned to look at Jax, she had so many questions.
"C'mon, let's get this family home." Gemma said, wrapping her arms around their shoulders.
Almost as soon as they had Abel through the door, Gemma insisted on getting a picture of the three of them together. Jax sat down in his recliner and held an arm out for Lillian. She sat lightly on his knee, turning Abel so that he faced Gemma's camera. Jax pulled her close, his face resting just over her shoulder.
"Say Samcro!" Gemma laughed and took a picture. " I have one almost identical to this from when you were a baby Jax. I'll have to get out the albums and find it." Abel started to fuss, Lillian stood to take him to the nursery to change his diaper but Gemma scooped him up. "Gramma's got it." She winked and smiled down at her grandson before heading towards his room. Lillian sat back down in Jax's lap.
"Lil, I don't know who all's going to be here tonight.." Jax started.
"If you're about to give me the be a good girl speech you can save it Teller. I can behave." Lillian cut him off. Jax chuckled.
"Mom likes that you and Tara don't get a long you know that right? Means there's no way that she'll weasel her way back into my life."
"What about Wendy?" Lillian asked. Jax shrugged.
"Wendy's Wendy. She has the good, the bad and the downright ugly. At her worst, she almost killed Abel. At her best, she's a decent person. Addiction changes people." Lillian nodded.
"Yeah, you're preaching to the choir on that one." Jax patted her thigh. "C'mon let's finish getting Gemma's decorations up."
It wasn't long before the house was full of Jax's family and friends. Everyone eagerly awaiting their turn to get to hold the newest addition to the SAMCRO clan. The room echoed with laughter and congratulations and Lillian had never felt more at home. She was curled up beside Tig on the couch in Jax's living room, laughing at the show Piney was putting on with his grandkids.
"How you doing doll?" Tig asked, resting a hand on her knee. She knew that there was some bad blood between her brother and the SAMCRO SAA but Tig had never been anything but sweet to her.
"I'm doing alright Tiggy. I was scared to come here at first, didn't really think that I'd fit in. But you guys, and Gemma have been more than welcoming." Lillian smiled.
"And Jax?" Tig gave her a knowing look. Lillian responded with a laugh and shook her head.
"Don't even go there Trager. That's another story for another day." Tig patted her knee gently and then leaned in to kiss the top of her head.
"You need anything, you just ask understand? You're SAMCRO now babygirl, we take care of our own." She leaned into Tig's side and her eyes met Jax's across the room. He raised a brow and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Time to say goodbye kids." She heard Opie call. Ellie and Kenny made their way around the room saying good bye to everyone. They stopped in front of Lillian on the couch and both threw their arms around her, securing her in a double bear hug.
"Goodbye Auntie Lily." They both chimed. Lillian looked up to see Opie clap Jax on the shoulder.
"You hear that brother? Auntie Lily… I guess that means this one's sticking around."
"I guess so." Jax smirked and took another long pull of his beer. Lillian turned her attention back to the Winston children that we're hanging off of her.
"Goodbye you two, I'll see you soon okay? I'll text your mom and we'll make plans to see a movie or something?" That was met with an enthusiastic response from them both. Lillian climbed up off the couch and wrapped Donna in a hug.
"Thanks for coming girly, it was nice to see you." Donna gave her a quick squeeze.
"Honestly I never thought I'd say it, but I'm glad Ope's back in. The club is family, we take care of each other." Lillian let go of Donna only to be enveloped in Opie's arms.
"So you promised the kids a movie date eh?" He chuckled.
"Yeah I suppose Jax and I could take them off your hands for a night." She winked at Donna, who's face turned beet red. "I'll text Donna and make plans." Opie nodded and let go of her, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders. "Thanks for coming again, really. I'm sure Jax appreciates it." Her eyes searched the crowded room for Jax to find him sitting in the recliner, feeding Abel a bottle while Gemma hovered nearby. Lillian finished saying her goodbyes and made her way over to Jax, perching lightly on the edge of his chair. It didn't take long for the house to start to slowly empty out after that. Lillian took Abel into the nursery, and began dressing him for bed.
"Your first night at home handsome boy! Are you going to sleep through the night for mo.." Lillian caught herself. She was not Abel's mother. She would never be Abel's mother. "For me. Will you sleep good for me?" She corrected. After she finished buttoning his sleeper, she laid him in his crib. She turned for the door and noticed Gemma leaning against the frame.
"You love that boy." It wasn't a question.
"I do." Lillian's eyes met Gemma's, she wasn't sure where Gemma was gunna take this but it was clear that she didn't have anything good to say about any woman that Jax had ever been involved with.
"Good." She turned on her heel to walk away.
"Good?" Lillian asked. Gemma paused where she was.
"That little boy is gunna need someone to play his mama. Wendy? She'll be cranked out again by the time Abel can roll over. Tara? Pfft, she'll up and leave Jax and the baby just like she did ten years ago. But you? I don't see you going anywhere. Tara hated the club and Wendy only wanted Jax for the club. You don't care about the patch on my son's chest. The way you feel for him, you feel with or without the kutte. I'm glad he has you." Gemma smiled and stepped out of the room, Lillian listened to her heels click softly down the hallway. She sank into Abel's glider, content to just watch him sleep. Did she love Jax? Sure, she had strong feelings for him but she had never "loved" anyone before. Aside from Kozi and now Abel, but this was different. There was a bit of an age gap between her and Jax, did she really want to be tied down to a man with a child before she turned twenty? Did she really want to spend the rest of her life being an outlaw's old lady? Was this the life she wanted for herself? She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of the front door slamming. Which in turn woke up Abel. Lillian stood and lifted him slowly into her arms, rocking him slowly to put him back to sleep. She stepped out of the nursery slowly making her way to the living room, careful not to disturb Abel.
"Jax?" Lillian called.
"He left." Came Gemma's quiet response. She was sitting on the edge of the couch, with her head in her hands.
"Gem? What's wrong?" Lillian felt the panic kick in. Did Gemma say something to Jax that set him off? She laid Abel in his swing before coming to kneel in front of Gemma.
"It's Donna. She was gunned down."
