My Pet Peeve
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Unluckily Shikamaru had fallen asleep while still being spooned by his strange little stalker. It had been warm and very comfortable but once he woke up and remembered what was going on he had desperately tried to escape. And by desperately, he meant with as little effort required as possible. He tried wriggling slightly, easing the other's arm open, and even grabbing the headboard and trying to pull himself up. All of this was to no avail. In the end he decided the best thing to do was to jab him in the ribs with his elbow until the boy finally woke up.
"Nnnn..." Hidan groaned loudly and opened his eyes, trying to work out the source of the irritation in his ribs. His vision was a little blurry but after a few seconds he saw Shikamaru scowling at him.
"What took you so long? I've wanted to get up." He'd forgotten that he'd been holding the boy as he went to sleep. Although despite the many complaints he'd had at first it was clear the brunette had slept just as deeply as he had.
"Shorry..." Hidan loosened his grip, allowing Shikamaru to sit up and stretch out his arms. It had been just over an hour since they'd fallen asleep and he was absolutely starving.
"Choji probably finished cooking a while ago. I'm gonna go eat." His whole body felt heavy. People often told him he slept his life away, but as far as he was concerned they spent too much time rushing around and worrying about things. As he left the room Hidan followed. Yet again he was only wearing a pair of boxers. "Could you at least put some trousers on?"
"Why?" He couldn't see the reason for needing them. In his old home he often walked around naked so clothes felt really restricting to him. Shirts in particular felt pointless. But if Shikamaru insisted then he would do as he was told.
"You really need your own clothes. And not just the ones you came in either."
"But I wanna wear your shit!"
"...Surely you'd prefer to have your own things?"
"No." This man was the most infuriating person he'd ever had the misfortune of dealing with.
"Ok then." I'll go buy some new clothes for me then give him my old things.
Choji, being Choji, had waited until they emerged from their room before putting out the food. This left everyone else feeling starved and annoyed. Not to mention the way that Hinata and Sakura stared at Hidan's partial nakedness. Hinata was a little in awe of men so as a result she blushed and attempted to avert her eyes. Sakura was a medical student and used to nude figures, and was more interested in the finer details of his chest. Ino knew all about the guy's craziness and so attempted to ignore him, instead choosing to nag Shikamaru once again.
"Why do you have to sleep so much? We've been waiting so long to eat it's ridiculous!"
"Be quiet you troublesome woman. I've had one of those days and I can't deal with any of your crap today." Although she scowled, she wisely chose to drop it. Hidan was oddly (now that he knew him) silent for reasons that soon became clear.
"Ribs!" He practically shouted at the food, jumped at the table, and began stuffing his face as quickly as possible.
"I thought he couldn't talk?" Ino couldn't take her eyes off the man. The barbecue sauce was all over his face but he barely seemed to notice.
"He wasn't for a while."
"How'd you get him to?" Choji had already forgotten the fat fuck comment of earlier and was more interested.
"I just asked him to..."
"That's a very interesting little problem he seems to have." Sakura was watching him in the same way most people would look at a performing monkey.
"I guess... I'm having more trouble shutting him up at the moment if I'm honest."
Despite the fact that everybody was either looking at or talking about him, Hidan was too preoccupied with eating to care.
"Why was he acting like such a psycho stalker anyway?" Ino cut straight to the point as per usual.
"He had his reasons." Admittedly Shikamaru didn't know quite why the boy acted the way he had his reasons and he wasn't going to try and force it out of him.
"Anyway, Hidan these girls are Sakura and Hinata. And you've met Ino I think." He looked up for a moment to stare at the aforementioned women. His face was now dripping with sauce and pieces of rice. "At least wipe your face idiot!"
Hidan raised his eyebrow at him. He knew he sounded quite motherly and it weirded him out too but it was both troublesome and annoying. In the end he had to a grab a tissue and start wiping his face.
"'The fuck you doing?!" Clearly it was ok to sleep naked in the same bed as someone you barely know but it was weird to wipe his face for him.
"Just stay still. That or you do it yourself." There was a huffing noise but he let Shikamaru do as he wanted.
"You two would make such a cute couple." This caused him to spin around and scowl at the pink haired witch chilling on his sofa.
"We are not a couple!" Yet another problem of having this guy around. Hidan was not as bothered but he didn't like anyone irritating Shikamaru.
"Fuck you pinky!" It was nice to have some support.
"My name is Sakura."
"I don't give a fuck!"
"He really has a way with words doesn't he?"
"If you'd heard what he said to Kiba earlier, you'd know this was pretty mild."
"D-did something happen to Kiba?" Despite being shy of men, Hinata shared a flat with a boy named Shino who had been a good friend of Kiba's from an early age. Because of this Kiba was one of the few people Hinata was really close to.
"He just got shouted down in front of an entire lecture theatre. I think he'll live." It'll probably be better if his ego is bought down a bit anyway... Though Shikamaru thought it was better not to say this out loud. Hidan started tugging on the bottom of his shirt. "Want something?"
"I'm bored."
"Well find something to do then." He didn't really want to be around the chattering women but he was suffering from a massive Hidan overdose at the moment and he needed a break.
The silver haired boy was even more bored and depressed at being ignored. Not to mention the fact that he disliked the females in the room. They all reminded him of the bitch. All he could do was sit on the floor and listen to people talking over his head about people he didn't know.
It was only so long before he'd had enough of boredom and decided to venture off and find something to do. Only Shikamaru was paying enough attention to notice him leaving but was reluctant to follow him. The boy gladly stuck to him everywhere he went so he thought he should give him some space.
"Sooo Shika..." Uh oh. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him to run. Especially when he saw the face Ino was pulling. "Could you do me a favour?"
"If this is another one of your 'woman errands' I'm not going to do it."
"Woman errands?" Sakura looked confused. "You're really that bothered about people seeing you buying tampons?"
"If it was only tampons I could deal with it. It's the gay porn from that dodgy shop on the corner I'm not that keen on."
"You bought that? Wow thanks Shika, we really enjoyed that one."
"You had a group session?"
"We were having a slow night. Anyway that wasn't what I had in mind."
"Ok then you troublesome woman let's hear it."
"It's mainly Hinata's problem." The purple haired girl flushed and started twiddling her thumbs madly. It was one of her many nervous habits.
"M-maybe we should just l-leave it."
"I don't mind helping if it's not too difficult." Hinata was one of the nicer girls he knew so he couldn't be too harsh to her. Not like the rest of the evil banshee's surrounding him.
"She's having a bit of trouble with her cousin."
"Neji?"
"He's being a little... over the top recently."
"He's always been like that. It's Neji." Choji had somehow acquired a packet of crisps and was happily snacking in the corner. It was like Kiba's tutus. Where he got them, no one knew...
"What am I supposed to do about it?"
"We were hoping you could find out what's wrong. Invite him round maybe?"
"I rarely talk to Neji! Naruto knows him best, why can't he do it?"
"You know that idiot has no tact. You're a smart guy; you can manipulate things out of him." Sakura made a good point.
"I can see what you mean but I still don't like it."
"P-please Shikamaru." Hinata finally decided to speak up. The pleading look she gave him was enough to make anyone bend and so he knew he'd have no choice now.
"Ok I'll do it, but only if Choji stays too."
"Sure. As long as we get a takeaway."
"Of course. When should we invite him round anyway?"
"Is Saturday good?"
"Ok... I guess I'll ring him then."
"No need, I've already invited him!" Ino's peppy smile just added to his irritation.
"So you asked him before you'd bothered to tell me?!"
"You'd never let us down Shika."
"Ugh." It seemed that all the people round him were manipulative bastards. "How exactly am I supposed to get things out of him anyway? He's not the most talkative of people."
"That's easy." Ino reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of cider. "Just one or two bottles of alcohol and he passes out, so just slip him a little alcohol in his drink and he'll tell you anything you want to know."
"...You've really thought this through, haven't you? Won't he notice if I spike his drink?"
"Possibly. Which is why you may have to somehow persuade him to join you."
"This is completely ridiculous."
"I know you can do it though Shika. Who else could?"
"You make a good point..." There were so many ways this could go wrong, but having to deal with these women if he refused far outweighed anything Neji could do. "I'll try but don't expect anything major."
"T-thank you..." Hinata at least looked grateful. The other two were probably just doing it for their own amusement.
"Hey Shika?" Choji came and sat next to him. "Where's your weird friend?"
"Err..." Crap I forgot about him! "I'm not too sure."
"You're letting that weirdo roam the house alone?! He could be doing anything! He could be in my room!"
"I highly doubt he'd make a special effort to go to your room you troublesome woman. I'll go find him." Knowing how unstable the guy could be wasn't making him feel better about venturing out alone. Plus the longue was one of the warmest rooms on the house and leaving it felt like entering into sub zero temperatures. He felt even worse when he found that Hidan was in Ino's room. Looking at one of her porno's to be precise...
"What are you doing?! Get out of there!" It was hard not to shout but if he did then he would get another earful and he wasn't in the mood.
"Why?" The fact that he genuinely saw no problem in invading someone's room annoyed Shikamaru.
"Because Ino will be really pissed if she sees you in here. She already doesn't like having you here and this will make things worse!"
"Well fuck her! She's a bitch!" You couldn't argue that she could be at times. Still, this was her house too.
"You can't stay here if you're going to cause problems." Of course that made him move. Shikamaru regretted saying it instantly.
"There I'm out! You won't throw me away now, right?" The pleading look and the strange helplessness worried him.
"Yeah of course..." It was a cruel thing to say though. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it." The boy looked confused. He seemed to be expecting some kind of punishment. "I... I got a bit carried away but I won't say anything else like that, ok?"
"Like what?"
"I'm not going to throw you out when you have nowhere else to-" It was hard to talk when you were being squished to death.
"Thank you so fucking much!" Hidan sounded so happy he couldn't bear to tell him to get off. But when he started sputtering even this idiot noticed. "Hey. You ok? You're turning blue."
"Your grip... too tight..."
"Ah shit! Sorry."
"No problem." Although the fact that at least one of his ribs had been cracked made it hard for him to look completely unbothered. At least Hidan looked happier. Although the fact that he had started up his psychotic staring again was going to be a bit of a problem. "Can you stop that?"
"Stop what?"
"Staring like that. It's starting to weird me out..."
"You mean like this?" Hidan leant closer and stared right into his face. Now that was just taking the piss.
"Knock it off."
"Why?"
"Because I will set Ino on you if you don't."
"... Keep that stupid bitch away from me."
"I thought so."
