The next day at school, Kyle saw Stan and Kenny waiting at the front of the school. Cartman wasn't with them. They stood against the brick wall with their hands in their pockets, looking bored. Kyle wasn't really in the mood to talk to his friends, though. He walked straight past his buddies and towards the elementary school doors. "Kyle, wait!" Stan called.

He stopped and sighed. "What is it?"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Stan warned.


"Hey, can I like...get an autograph from you?" a third grade student nervously pushed his notebook and pen out towards Cartman, a hopeful look on his face. Cartman paused at his locker and looked at the other student. School would be starting in a few minutes, and he didn't want to get a detention for being late to homeroom twice. Mr. Garrison was a dick like that.

"And, just who the hell are you?" he muttered.

"Oh, sorry..my name is Milton. You don't know me, but I'm a big fan of yours. I think you're really brave to come out and be so confident about it." the boy explained. Cartman cocked his head to the side, but reluctantly took the notebook and signed his name on it. The boy flashed him a big smile and then ran away. 'What a fag!' Cartman thought.

Butters had been watching from his own locker across the hallway. He lurked over towards Cartman, who was facing his locker again, and poked him on the shoulder. "God dammit, why the hell do you assholes keep bothering me?!" Cartman screamed in rage. Then he turned around. "Ugh, Butters, what do you want?"

Butters grinned. "Hi, umm.." without being able to think of anything clever to say, he simply reached his arms around Cartman's chubby neck and pulled him in for a life-squeezing hug. Cartman raised an eyebrow. His reflexes were about to hug Butters back, before he came to his senses and pushed him away.

"Butters, what are you doing?" Cartman grunted.

Butters opened his mouth to speak, but didn't know what to say. He shifted on his left and right feet. "I just thought that, uh, maybe since we're more open now about our relationship and all, I could..ya know, be more open with my affection!" he admitted meekly.

"Butters, are you crazy? We are NOT in a relationship, are you retarded?" Cartman said sternly.

Butters twisted his face in confusion. "So, the note wasn't true, then? About thinking I'm so cool, and your love for me being a deep, uh, pit?"

Cartman's eyes went wide. So somebody really did hack his account, and on top of that, sent a gay love letter from himself to Butters. Only a sneaky Jew would do that, of course.

"Butters.." he was about to explain Kyle's sneaky prank, when Wendy Testicleburger came over to them.

She gave them both a big, reassuring smile. "Hey guys. Look..I know we don't talk much, but I just wanted to say I'm proud of you two for having the bravery to admit you're gay. I'm sorry that some people were picking on you about it."

"Aww, gee thanks Wendy." Butters said with a sheepish smile.

Cartman wanted to kick Wendy in the balls, but he held himself back and composed himself. "Who was picking on us?"

Wendy looked down at the floor in shame. "Didn't you overhear at lunch? Kyle was being an ignorant homophobe, it was really shocking. I guess I thought he was better than that, but ignorance knows no bounds."

A little tick went off suddenly in Cartman's brain. Kyle's little plan to embarrass him so far had ended up backfiring. This was great. He had the upper hand now. And Kyle..would suffer the consequences of his own idiotic plan. He smiled contently to himself. He would deal with Kyle later.


The lunch bell sounded. It was time for Cartman's favorite subject. So far, his whole day had gone pretty smoothly. People were noticing him all of a sudden, and treating him with new found respect for absolutely no reason at all. He even called Clyde a dick and got away with it.

Things were going well for Butters, too. He noticed that the girls were being very nice to him all of a sudden. They even invited him to the mall on the weekend. He still wasn't sure how he felt about Cartman, though. But he knew that this relationship thing was getting him positive attention he'd never gotten before, so he might as well go along with it.

When Cartman and Butters came into the cafeteria together holding hands, random people stood up and applauded them. They sat down together at their usual lunch table, and everyone wanted to talk to them. Stan and Kenny were at the table, too. They couldn't believe it. Kyle arrived later, but as he tried to sit down, Jimmy put his hand out to block the bench space.

"S-sorry Kyle, but we'd ruh-rrather not have b-bigots at our table." he said with a grimace. A few others at the table cheered in agreement. Kyle grinded his teeth. He was about to walk away, when Cartman finally spoke up.

"Guys, stop! Kahl may be an ignorant stupid bigot, but we can't exclude him. That would make us bigots as well." he said with smug satisfaction.

Jimmy looked guilty. "C-Cartman, y-you're right. W-wow, suh-such insight from those w-who face adversity!"

Kyle didn't respond. He was speechless. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom." he muttered and quickly ran out of the cafeteria. Stan watched as his friend stormed off. "Me too." he said, following quickly behind. "Me moo!" Kenny shouted through his muffled coat, running after the other two.

"So they're all a part of this.." Cartman thought to himself, tapping his chin.