Loki watched as Sigrid drew honey from one of her boxes across the garden. Jor stood beside him. He had just finished speaking about his meeting with Baldur.
"That's very unlike him," Loki remarked thoughtfully.
"Yes," Jor agreed. "Can you tell me what happened on Midgard?"
"Thor died saving Baldur. He blames himself."
"In that case, I would say his reaction was a little disproportionate."
"He is young and feels everything like a raw wound."
"I'm young and I don't react like that."
"But you've known tragedy longer than him. You've had time to toughen your skin." He smiled a little at his son. "Speaking of toughening your skin, how goes Thrym?"
"Well enough, I suppose. He keeps to himself when he's not issuing orders."
"He was something of a hermit when I first came across him."
Jor shifted a little from one foot to another. "Mother-"
"No, Jor." Loki turned from him to gaze out at Sigrid. "Let's not speak of her."
"You told me once that you loved her, Father. Why-"
"Jor." Loki's face hardened as he faced him. "I have never asked much of you. But I am commanding you to never mention her in my presence again."
Jor stared down at his father for a long moment. He had never been sure how Loki felt about his mother, Angrboda. When he was a little boy, Loki admitted to loving her, though he hadn't known her for very long. Perhaps it wasn't that he loved Angrboda but loved what she represented: Jotunheim. But he could never stand to hear her mentioned and so Jor was left to wonder.
"Very well, Father," he said quietly.
Loki's face softened. "Forgive me, my son. I just-"
"No, it's all right, Father. I won't speak of her again to you."
Something like grief flitted through his eyes and Loki turned back to watch Sigrid. For a long moment, an uneasy silence laid between them. Finally, he asked, "Anything else?"
"Yes, actually. The Quatrain stopped me before I came here."
"Oh?" The casual tone in his voice did not retract from the sudden tension in his shoulders.
"They said that it was time and that they await your arrival. What are they talking about?"
Loki didn't answer for so long of a time, Jor almost repeated himself.
"An old bargain," he said quietly, "has come due, it would seem."
"Father?"
"Speak of this to no one, Jor."
"Of course."
"Will you be joining us for dinner?"
"There's to be a feast tonight."
"Ah, yes. I almost forgot."
"You will be there?"
"Of course." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.
OoOoOoO
"No," I said, as if that could change anything.
"I have to go," repeated Loki as he added another item to his pack.
"Baldur needs you."
"Baldur is a fool if he doesn't realize that the longer I remain, the more suspicion he is going to fall under. People won't care how Thor died, only that he did and that a son of Loki sits on the throne. That will be enough for them."
"That's not the point. Baldur needs you to advise him."
"Jor can help him."
"Jor has to go home eventually!"
Loki threw his pack down and turned to me, storm clouds gathering in his eyes. "And what would you have me do, Sigrid?"
"Stay with your family!"
A sudden racking cough broke the air erupted from Joan's chamber. Loki sighed, shoving a hand through his hair.
I began to say something but Loki interrupted me, saying, "I don't know what to do with her, Sigrid. I have looked in every book, sought out every wise person. No one knows why she gets ill. My presence neither improves nor worsens the situation."
"Your presence gives her comfort. She knows something is wrong, Loki! And it frightens her. It frightens me!"
"I cannot go back on a bargain!" he shouted.
I jerked back, having not heard him raise his voice in a long time. I had forgotten how frightening it was.
"Mother?" Joan called from her chamber. We heard her taking shuffling footsteps as she crossed the living area. "Father? Is all well?"
"Everything is fine." I went to the doorway of our bedchamber. Joan stared at me, her hair falling untidily around her shoulders. "Go back to bed."
"I feel feverish."
"I'll have Brin bring you something cold to drink. Have you taken your nightly honey tonic?"
"Yes, Mother."
"Very good. It should help you soon. Go back to bed, dearheart."
Joan nodded and returned to her room. I called for Brin and ordered for something cold to be taken to my daughter. My poor daughter who sickened when she shouldn't. I was fully an Asgardian, so why was her body acting like a Midgardian's? I turned back to Loki, a whole new problem. I wanted to break something so badly, I folded my arms over my chest to keep the pottery safe.
"I wish you didn't have to go," I whispered.
"It's only a month." He came to me and laid his hands on my shoulders. "You know I will return to you."
"I know full well that as long as you are alive, you will always return to me." I looked up at him, the meaning of my words heavy on the air between us.
Finally, he said, "Then fear not. I have no plans to die in Jotunheim."
"No one plans on death, Loki. Death comes whether we want it or not."
At first, I thought he was going to argue with me. Instead, he pulled me close and kissed me hungrily, as if he was trying to commit my every line, my taste, to memory. And perhaps he was. I kissed him back just as eagerly, trying to fight the dawn, when Loki would leave me.
Again.
OoOoOoO
"You know it is with reluctance that I go, my sons," said Loki. He, Jor, and Baldur stood in the garden the next morning. Sigrid and Joan stood a distance away, giving them privacy.
"I don't understand why you must go," replied Baldur. "What hold does the Quatrain have over you?"
"An old bargain, that is all you need to know. I will return in a month's time."
"And what do I tell the elders? They may think you've gone to plot against Asgard."
"Baldur is right," spoke up Jor. "It is unfair, but long have a few factions suspected you, Father. Your leaving so soon after Thor Allfather's death may look suspicious."
"It cannot be helped," said Loki. "If I do not go, the Quatrain hold enough power to make me regret it. And the consequences may be more far-reaching than that."
Silence fell between them. Jor looked mildly troubled; it was hard to tell on his Frost Giant's features. Baldur's face was impassive but Loki could see the hurt and fear building in his eyes.
"Jor," he said. "I would like a moment with Baldur."
"Of course." Jor gave a short bow and went to stand beside Sigrid and Joan.
Loki laid a hand on Baldur's shoulder. "My son-"
Baldur knocked his hand away. "I don't need your pity, Father."
"It isn't pity I offer you, but advice. And a reminder."
"You know I always value your counsel."
He sighed. They were speaking as if in Court. He felt as if his son stood leagues away from him and it made his heart ache. He wondered if Odin every felt this way. "Baldur, it wasn't your fault. Whenever your heart or your mind reproaches you, don't forget that."
Baldur grunted but didn't meet his eyes. "The reminder, I suppose. And your advice?"
"Go to your mother if you seek wisdom. There have been many times when I ignored her words and came to regret it. She sees very clearly. It's her inheritance from Sigyn. Don't turn your nose at it."
"Of course, Father."
"If it is absolutely vital, you know how to scry me, though I cannot promise the Quatrain won't have some sort of ward to block communication."
"Of course."
In desperation to reach him, Loki cupped the back of his neck with his hand, a gesture Thor had often used on him. Loki didn't even think about that when he did it. He just wanted his son to listen to him. Baldur looked up at him, surprised.
"You are my pride and joy," said Loki in a low voice. "You mean more to me than all the nine realms. You and Jor and Joan. No matter what I do for the rest of my life, you three will always be my greatest achievement."
Baldur gazed at him for a long moment. Standing side by side, they could have been twins if Loki wasn't obviously older and if Baldur's hair didn't twist into half-wild curls like his mother's hair. Loki prayed to whatever would listen that their resemblance remained on the surface, that Baldur would not make the same mistakes.
Finally, Baldur said, "Thank you, Father." But there was no gratitude in his eyes.
Reluctantly, Loki dropped his hand and backed away. He turned to Sigrid, Joan, and Jor. Sigrid looked to be on the verge of tears but she held herself with regal pride. He felt his heart swell, grateful he had chosen her to be his mate. His lips curled into a cocky smile, for her benefit, and she rolled her eyes.
With that, he turned, aligning the magic as he needed it, and took a step that sent the world whipping around him. A lifetime later, he stepped out into the cold of Jotunheim, the ice-covered walls of the temple soaring over him. A rustle of cloth caused him to turn around.
The Quatrain gazed on him with enigmatic eyes. The lead priestess said, "Welcome home, Bjarte."
