It is hopefully getting better. Honest. Reviews? Warning, insanity awaits you at the end of this chapter.
Byakuya had never known of a plan that had gone so easily and revenge had definitely never tasted sweeter.
Renji praised the fact that today he didn't have to go to the office. Instead he had a day's training with the other lieutenants with Mayuri leading the lessons.
Renji shuddered as the name Mayuri passed through his thoughts. Apparently from Nemu, Mayuri wasn't bad looking under the mask but irregardless. I mean, his fuckin' ear detaches into a whip thing!
And I'd told Kuchiki-Taichou, I'd get my little problem sorted out by him.
WHY?
Next time I have to make up a name on the spot, make sure you wipe all the males out of the list.
..
And Yachiru.
And anyway, just be thankful you didn't say Kenpachi.
Renji met up with Kira, Hisagi, Matsumoto and Hinamori in the training yard. They all wished to know the specifics of what had happened last night between him and Byakuya. Renji refused to tell them anything but the fact that he thought that the lesson had caused him to be kido-phobic.
'But here's the question Renji... Was it an enjoyable punishment?' Matsumoto asked suggestively.
'NO!'
'You said that very quickly, you sure you aren't hiding some form of secret enjoyment?'
Renji turned to look at the source of the voice.
'What the hell are you doing here?' He said when he saw Ichigo standing in front of him.
'Maths test today and I didn't revise.'
'So to skive off you decided to go to soul society?'
'Well, there's no chance of them ever finding me here!'
'You're such an idiot.' Renji said.
'Well, from what I've heard, I'm not the only idiot here.' Ichigo raised an eyebrow, smirking.
'Hush now.' Mayuri said as he walked into the training yard. 'Ichigo Kurosaki, what do you think you're doing here?'
'Erm, I'll be off then.' Ichigo laughed feebly, the captain of squad 12 still kinda spooked him out.
'Hmmn, where's your Quincy friend Ichigo? He hasn't come to see me for a while. I have a nice new experiment I would like to try out.'
'Yeah, I'm definitely off now.' He waved to the others and sprinted off without a second glance at Mayuri, fearing the consequences if he made eye contact. For all Ichigo knew, there could be some horrible experiment waiting for him if he stayed any longer.
'I don't think Kurosaki likes me,' Mayuri thought out loud, 'Oh, Abarai? Kuchiki-Taichou said that you may need a couple of personal and rather pressing issues sorted out by me. Would you like to come round the back for a couple of minutes?'
Renji didn't think he'd ever blushed so much in his whole life. Matsumoto raised an eyebrow and Hisagi attempted to muffle his laughter.
'I hate you.' Renji whispered to Hisagi which just made him laugh even more.
'No, I got my problem sorted out already! Erm. Thanks for worrying though.' Renji said, hoping that no-one in the room would gather what his 'personal issues' were. He saw Yachiru in the corner looking puzzled. Oh god, don't let her say anything embarrassing.
'BY WHOOOOOO?' Yachiru shouted, jumping on Renji's back. Mayuri lifted an eyebrow, it was apparent that he also wished to know. Fuck.
WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE NEED NAMES? C'mon, first FEMALE name that pops into your head.
'HITSUGAYA!'
You absolute FAIL, Renji. Now everyone's gunna think I'm a little paedophile and since when has he been a she?
'I thought Hitsugaya was with Ukitake all night?' Mayuri questioned.
'Yeah... Erm... They both sorted out my issue!'
Everyone in the room slowly turned to stare at Renji. It took a little while for it to sink in with Renji.
'Wait, Hitsugaya was with WHO, all night?'
Mayuri raised his other eyebrow.
'It is apparent that you do not wish for my help. For your punishment, you must go first.'
Renji hung his head, I HOPE YOUR FUCKIN' HAPPY NOW TAICHOU, and shuffled over to Mayuri.
...
'Well, it could have been worse.' Hisagi said as he patted a mortified Renji on the back. 'Ya could've said Jidanbou.'
Renji had to try very hard to stop himself from squirting the water he was drinking all over the place from the mental image that had just lodged itself in his thoughts. They had been given a break by Mayuri after Ichigo decided to return whilst being chased by Yoruichi. Rumours had it that Ichigo had stood on her tail. For around about the fourteenth time.
'Never say that again Shuuhei, and anyway, Matsumoto, what the hell was Hitsugaya doing round at Ukitake's?'
'He said he wanted sweets.' Matsumoto winked, 'But we all know that Ukitake has some ulterior motive.'
'I know too much about ulterior motives.'
'Like your ulterior motive when you kissed Kuchiki-sama?' Kira smiled.
'NO. FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NEITHER IN LOVE WITH BYAKUYA KUCHIKI OR WISH TO HAVE SOME VERY MANLY GAY SEX WITH HIM. END OF DISCUSSION.'
Everyone in the yard went quiet at that exact moment.
'I said that a bit loud. Didn't I?'
Renji glared at his friends. Matsumoto, Hisagi, and Kira were in fits of laughter whilst Hinamori giggled.
'S'not funny guys.'
'Ah well, not as bad as Gin. He had ulterior motives for everything that breathes.' Kira laughed.
'Oh god, yeah.' Hisagi grinned. Hinamori looked confused. Hisagi began to explain.
'It was me, Ikkaku, Renji, Yumichika and Izuru and we had gone out for a drink and Gin walks in and attempted to talk us into all going back to his house for some...Fun.'
'And even when we said no, he just wouldn't give up!' Kira finished. 'It was awful going to see him the next day. He just said nothing about it and moved onto Byakuya-sama instead. That was funny.'
'He was actually such a pervert I even feel a little sorry for Aizen. God knows what he's got in store for him.'
'Breaks over people, get up off ya lazy arses and let me beat the shit outta 'em instead.'
'That doesn't sound like Mayuri...' Renji said and turned around. Zaraki Kenpachi stood in front of them. 'Mayuri had to do some work so I'm takin' over. And any of 'ya seen Ichigo lately?'
'Ken-CHAAAAAN~'
Renji looked down at the ground again. Yet another bad day lay ahead.
...
As Renji finally lay in bed, in a red kimono, he let out a sigh of relief. He had gotten better and Kenpachi hadn't gone that hard on him so he hadn't got a complete grilling by the Squad 11 Captain. Thank god. But tomorrow he had to go back to the office with Byakuya. Renji shivered. Why the hell was Byakuya acting like that...
Then it hit him.
Byakuya had got his revenge on Renji by sexually harassing him! How did I not see that at the time! I thought he actually had a little thing going on for me! Sheesh, don't be so vain Renji! That means that currently Byakuya has the upper-hand again! Fuck my life.
Renji relaxed and an idea suddenly occurred to him. There was no way he was going to let his captain be one up on him.
Ever.
Renji flash-stepped his way over to the Kuchiki manor. The building works had finally finished and the house was looking as flamboyant as ever. Renji very quietly made his way through the house into utilities bit. He saw what he was looking for.
The washing machine.
Byakuya had his white scarf and gloves waiting to be washed by some poor newbie in squad 6. Well, Renji was going to do the washing for him.
Renji shoved the scarf and gloves in the washing machine and then stripped. He threw his red kimono in the wash as well. Even Renji was smart enough to know what happened when you added colours to a white wash.
Renji was planning on waiting for the wash to finish to retrieve his kimono but he heard someone stirring in the room next to him. He quickly flash stepped out of the washing room and started to make his way out of the manor. So Byakuya would know who did it, but still. That was all part of the fun.
Renji was just about to dash out the door when he saw a darkened figure to his left. He turned and saw his captain standing there with a decorative black kimono on with a Koi on the front of it. His hair was also down.
'A-A-Abarai?' Byakuya stuttered with an extremely shocked expression on his face. Byakuya looked even more surprised as his eyes travelled down Renji's body.
Renji looked down. Today just had to be the day he decided to go commando.
Renji flash-stepped faster than the speed of light all the way back to his barracks.
Somehow, without even doing anything, Byakuya had once again got the upper hand.
And somewhere in Las Noches, wearing a pink tutu and fairy wings, Gin sneezed as he was about to pounce into Aizen's room.
'Someone's been talkin' 'bout me.'
