Stan's first kiss is with Wendy in the fourth grade, and it's her first kiss too, which is kind of gay but cool at the same time. Stan is so elated when she finally leans forward that he has to think about playing video games with Kyle and the sleepover that they're having later this week just to stop the bile from rising in his throat.

It's a slight peck, a firm press of lips, but Stan has never been more nervous in his life.

The kiss lasts the entirety of two and a half seconds, and afterward, Stanley vomits.