Hey kidz!
here is another update, sorry to make you wait. Hopefully you'll think it was worth it ;)
Birdseyeview57-- why are you bein' such a tease?? In answer to your question, yes I'd be interested in hearing more. I PM'd you. Still waiting for a response... (?)
The Carlin Girls
Chapter 4
By JewWitch
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The moment Ashley was out the door, Spencer felt a physical sense of loss well up in her stomach, flooding through every part of her body that was screaming to be touched by the dark-haired girl. How had she let this happen?
"You fucking idiot," she whispered bleakly to the empty room. Then she burst into tears. That was how Mimi found her when she came home, curled up sobbing on the couch in a tight ball.
"Oh, dear," the old woman sighed, dropping her handbag by the door and sitting down heavily by Spencer's feet, patting her quivering leg. "This isn't at all what I was expecting to come home to. Whatever happened, darling?"
"I'm so stupid," Spencer sniffled, her voice barely intelligible with her face half-pressed into the couch cushions. "It's all my fault…"
"What, Spencer? What's your fault?" The blonde girl took a deep breath, and wiped her eyes, looking up for the first time at the kindly old eyes gazing down at her.
"Well, we were…me and Ashley…after Audrey went to sleep, we, um, we had some margaritas…and we were just talking. But, really good talking. She's so easy to talk to…once you get past the cocky pick-up lines." The old woman chuckled. "And I guess I thought…I don't know what I thought. I fell into this little fantasy bubble-world. I mean, when I first met her, it seemed like all she was interested in was…um…" she looked up awkwardly, a pink blush rising in her tearstained cheeks.
"Sex?" Mimi asked gently, with no hint of a flinch.
"Uh-huh," Spencer nodded, relieved that she didn't have to be the one to say it. "But then all of a sudden she's taking Audrey to the zoo, and she made us dinner, and covered me with a blanket when I was asleep…" Spencer shook her head, brushing her hair back from her face as she tried desperately to put her jumble of feelings into words. "And I guess I just thought it was…maybe…turning into something more. Maybe even something real." She sighed, and closed her eyes. "And then she kissed me…and it was…it was the best I ever felt in my whole, stupid life." Her voice cracked, as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I still don't understand why you're sitting here, crying your eyes out all alone."
"I kicked her out," Spencer sniffed, wiping her wet face on her sleeve. "She was going too fast, and…I just…"
"Now, wait just one minute." A steely expression came over Mimi's wrinkled face as she looked sharply into Spencer's red eyes. "She didn't try any funny business, did she? Because if she did"—
"No, no," Spencer hastily shook her head. Ashley wouldn't do that, she wanted to say; though she knew she had no authority to say what Ashley would or would not do, having known her for roughly 48 hours. "It wasn't anything like that. She stopped when I said stop. But I just…kind of…completely freaked out."
"Why?"
"Because!" Spencer cried, jumping up from the couch and pacing around the room, as if the rant exploding out of her was more than her body could physically contain. "I was just so mad at myself for being so stupid! All she wanted was to get into my pants, and I let my guard down! I let her in! I let Audrey get attached to her! And for what? One empty night of sex?!"
"How can you be so sure of what Ashley wanted?" The old woman asked gently, with a kind, slightly sad smile. "I was married for forty-seven years, and I can tell you that knowing what another person wants or feels at any given moment is damn near impossible, sweetheart. Did you try talking to her?"
"She wanted to, but…I just couldn't. I couldn't be in the same room with her, I couldn't think straight after the way she made me feel."
"So you just kicked her out?" Spencer nodded, trembling with misery.
"Oh, sweetheart." The white-haired old woman sighed. "I think you may have just made a big mistake."
"What?" Spencer gaped at her. "You're telling me to go have meaningless, casual sex?!"
"No, you obstinate girl," Mimi laughed, which for some reason incensed Spencer, her cheeks flushing with anger now instead of embarrassment. "I think the mistake you made was in thinking that sex was all she wanted from you."
"Oh, okay," Spencer said sarcastically, still pacing sharply around the room. "How many people do you know who put out on the first date because they're looking for a deep, meaningful relationship?"
"And how many people do you know who spend the whole day with your daughter and then stay to cook you dinner—just to, as you so aptly put it, get into your pants?" Mimi raised one silver eyebrow, and Spencer snorted. "You're a beautiful girl, Spencer, but I'm sure there are plenty of attractive girls around town who Ashley could court with far less effort. She wanted to talk; you were the one who didn't. Even the way she said your name when we met out in the garden…" The old woman shook her head, a wistful expression passing over her eyes. "Don't give up so easily, my darling. Real chances at happiness don't come around every day." Spencer sighed, and nodded.
"Thanks, Mimi," she murmured, closing her eyes as her body was enveloped in a hug.
"Now go and call her, child. Sit down and have a real talk. I'll stay with Audrey."
"I won't be late," Spencer promised, flipping her cell phone open as she walked out the door.
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Ashley, meanwhile, went straight to Diva's and started pounding back shots of Patrón at the bar. It wasn't long before she got asked to dance, and not much longer after that till she left the club in some random hot girl's car. Ashley took the whole bottle of Tequila along, and by the time she stumbled into the girl's (Noella? Natalia?) bedroom, it was three-quarters gone.
"You're feisty," the black-haired girl grinned, leaning back on her elbows against the mattress. "I think I'd better brace myself."
"Damn straight," Ashley growled, jumping onto the bed and pinning her anonymous partner's hips down, kissing her roughly, her teeth scraping over soft skin. She knew she was being a little brutal; a savageness was welling up palpably inside her, making her skin crawl. If she didn't release it, she might explode; or just start screaming her head off. Anyway, the chick seemed into it—she moaned and arched her back when Ashley grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, ravaging her throat with tongue and teeth.
"Oh, fuck, yeah!" the girl squealed ecstatically, writhing under Ashley's demanding hands. "Do me, baby!"
"I'm not your baby," Ashley snarled, sitting back on her heels while the other girl caught her breath.
"So tense," the girl shook her head playfully. "Want something to take the edge off, tiger?" She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a little plastic baggie of pills. Ashley had no idea what they were, and frankly she didn't care. She put out her hand, and swallowed both of the little white pills she was given. "Whoa!" the girl's eyes widened in surprise. "I didn't mean for you to take those both now. One was for later!"
"Well now it's later," Ashley shrugged. Then she leaned over and plunged her hand down the girl's skirt.
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When Ashley stumbled home, sometime past 2am, she found Spencer sitting on her porch swing. The blonde girl had one leg tucked up under her, the other pushing lightly off the floorboards to make the swing rock gently back and forth. Ashley stopped dead in her tracks, blinking uncomprehendingly. Was she hallucinating? After all of the chemical convulsions her body had been through in the last few hours, it felt like a distinct possibility.
"Hi," the blonde girl said softly, a bleak smile flitting across her lips. "Is it too late to change my mind about that talk?" Slowly, Ashley climbed the steps, and dropped into the swing beside Spencer, sighing deeply.
"I might regret being this honest, but…for you, Spencer, I don't think it'll ever be too late." She felt a warm hand slip into her own.
"I'm so, so sorry for flipping out on you, Ash," Spencer said quietly, her voice trembling a little, like she was trying not to fall apart.
"Okay," Ashley nodded impassively, not ready to let her guard down again quite yet. "So what the fuck happened, huh?" Her words were abrasive, but her tone was genuine, and strangely tender.
"I…I just…" Spencer floundered for a moment, running a hand impatiently through her hair. "I haven't been close to anyone for a long time. And suddenly here you are, swooping into my life, and you made me feel…" she shook her head, lost for words. "You made me feel so much so fast, I got scared. I didn't want to be just another notch on your headboard. I wanted…more."
"Is that really what you think of me?" Ashley asked, stung by the blonde's statement, even while a part of her screamed, hello, that IS you!
"I'm not judging you, Ashley," Spencer said earnestly, squeezing her hand. "There's nothing wrong with having a lot of sex! You're young, hot, and free to have a good time. That's cool. But sex isn't a recreational sport for me."
"That's not what I wanted from you," Ashley insisted, urgency creeping into her voice as she looked deeply into the blue eyes across from her, suddenly desperate to be believed.
"Oh, really?" Spencer raised an eyebrow skeptically. "When you tried to pick me up at the coffee house, you weren't just looking to score?"
"I wasn't"—Ashley started to say, but faltered under Spencer's clear blue gaze. "Okay…I admit it. Then, I was just looking for sex. That's usually all I'm looking for. The truth is…I've never even been in a real relationship. But tonight…" she trailed off, a scared, helpless look in her eyes, like a lost little girl. "You made me feel so much so fast too, Spence. I didn't know how else to express myself. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too." They sat silently for a moment, staring into each other's eyes in the moonlight. Spencer reached out and pulled Ashley in by the back of her neck, pressing their foreheads together. Ashley reached out, too, slipping her fingers into Spencer's hair. "This is completely crazy," Spencer whispered.
"I know," Ashley softly agreed. "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing…we barely even know each other. But I think…" she swallowed. "I think I might…sort of…maybe…possibly…be falling in love with you." Their foreheads were still pressed together, and they both had their eyes closed. But when Ashley finished talking, she felt Spencer pull back, holding her face firmly in both hands to look deep into her eyes. The blonde girl smiled, innocent and wide-open, hiding nothing.
"I think I might, sort of, maybe, possibly, be falling in love with you, too." The nervous knot in Ashley's stomach dissolved, and her heart began to pound heavily in her chest. If this was love, the closest she'd ever come to it before was taking ecstasy. But this was better. This was real…and it might even last longer than eight hours.
"Really?" She squeaked, happy tears welling up in her eyes.
"Really," Spencer nodded shyly. They leaned in at the same time, and shared a soft, incredibly tender kiss, savoring the softness of each other's lips, and the same jolt of adrenalin. "Hmm," Spencer sighed. "Listen, it's late, and I have to get home to Audrey and Mimi…do you want to come, and maybe…sleep with me? Just sleep?"
"That depends," Ashley said coyly, cocking her head with, incredibly, a shy smile of her own. "Is snuggling aloud?"
"Oh, it's mandatory," Spencer nodded vehemently. Grinning like idiots, they hopped off the swing, still holding hands, and walked to Spencer's car.
