Title: Adjusting to the Dark

Author: tacit_galaxy

Pairing: Minami Ritsu x Agatsuma Soubi

Fandom: Loveless

Theme: 30Kisses #04: our distance and that person

Rating: Teens (for disturbing themes and some language)

Disclaimer: I do not own "Loveless" or any of its characters. All belongs to Yun Kouga, and I am making absolutely no money off of this.

Adjusting to the Dark

A/N: This is meant to be a sort of companion fic to "Shock" (the chapter before this one). I really have no idea what the name of Soubi's mom is, so when you see "her" just know that's who is being referred to. Words in italics are Ritsu's thoughts.

Ritsu stepped into his office, turning the overhead light off so just the blue glow of his computer screen perforated the stuffy air of the room.

Why would they dump this child on me?

The question was all his mind could focus on, and unfortunately, he could answer it.

They want me to train him…

They want me to raise him to be like…her.

"Those sick bastards…" Ritsu cursed to the empty room as he flopped down in his office chair. He began to massage his temples in slow circles, an attempt to thwart the oncoming headache he felt creeping into his forehead along with thoughts of his old lover.

How long had it been since I've even seen her?

And now…

To hear that she's dead and has left a child to Septimal Moon?

Ritsu sighed in frustration as he recalled the panicked screaming of the young boy who was now his student.

Soubi…

The child looked so much like her. From the hair, to the eyes, to the strong but delicate frame; the boy was like his mother incarnate. A ghost in the form of a child, come back to mock his failures in love.

Ritsu allowed himself a small, sarcastic smirk as he pushed the bitter feelings down and began to wonder just how much like his mother the boy really was. Images of Soubi's mother in much more intimate terms came to mind. All of them were vague memories of a time when they would lay in bed together, murmuring and laughing quietly while the dawn broke through the windows. There was a time when they made love all night and didn't hate each other.

But not anymore.

The reality of his situation sunk in like a rock thrown to the center of a deep pool.

Tangles of legs and arms.

Skin against skin.

The kind of sweat that only rises to the surface after tasting another person's rushing climax.

Can any of that even exist without her being in this world?

A timid knock at the door startled Ritsu and brought his thoughts back from the otherworldly landscape they had been visiting.

"Ritsu-sensei…" Came Soubi's muffled, squeaking voice.

In time, won't that voice deepen and take on a quality I will not recognize as hers?

"Sensei, can I please come in? My room is scary…"

"Alright, come in."

Soubi opened the door with a slow creak, peeking in with his wide, frightened, blue eyes. Seeming to be looking for approval to enter, he glanced at Ritsu, who nodded his consent and motioned with a delicate finger, implying that the boy should come and sit on his lap.

"Sensei, it's so dark in here…there's only the computer…" Soubi whined as he climbed up onto Ritsu.

"You'll have to get used to the dark." Without further warning Ritsu grabbed Soubi's hand and guided it towards the wall behind his chair. The teacher wrapped Soubi's small fist around the cord plugging his computer into the wall and gave it a forceful yank, sending the office into complete darkness and cutting off the machine's diminutive hum that had been serving, unnoticed, as white noise.

"Be quiet." The command was issued after a faint whimper came from the small boy on his lap.

"It'll be fine once your eyes adjust. I don't want to hear a bit of complaining. You may have sought me out because you were scared, but you'll have to deal with the consequences of spending the night with me."

Soubi silenced himself, gulped back his tears, and leaned into his teacher's chest, squeezing his eyes shut against the seeming abyss around him. Ritsu, having a pang of pity for the boy, began to stroke his hair in an effort to calm him down and possibly lull him to sleep. After a half-hour went by, Soubi's breathing evened out and sleep overtook his exhausted body.

So much like her…

In the darkness, this feeling was only magnified. Ritsu could've sworn it was her hair he was absently caressing and running through his fingers.

This boy isn't a burden that she left to torture me; he's a link to bring us together.

Even with the distance so great…

Even though she is no longer in this world…

With his eyes adjusted to the dark, Ritsu breathed in Soubi's smell once more, letting his fingers trail up and down the boy's spine.

Somewhere…

She is in him.