Presidium Pondering

Getting one's ship impounded did have its pros. Now, with absolutely no means of being sent off on missions chasing whatever entered Admiral Hackett's whim, Commander Johannes Shepard decided to make the most of this forced vacation and enjoy the large space city. Of course, there was a problem he had to address even before he stepped onto the Citadel and that was who would he take?

"Obviously, I cannot take Kaiden. Sadly, the lieutenant became one with the atom back at Virmire. Ashley is nice to have around, but she can be a bit...aggressive. Somehow my outburst a few days back has not deterred her. Come to think of it, it almost seems as if she and Liara have only been encouraged, heavens knows why. At any rate, I probably should not take her along because if I did, that would make Liara jealous. If I just took Liara and someone else, then Ashley would be jealous. I could take them both along, but somehow I think all three of us would get hurt."

Shepard drew up a bad mental image of how a cat fight might look like between the human marine and Asari scientist. It mostly consisted of Ashley getting tossed around like a rag doll by Liara's biotics before Liara finally used up her biotic energy. At which point, a very bruised up Ashley, would proceed to beat the Asari to a pulp with her rifle. This would probably happen at the Emporium too, since it was right there where all manner of reason for those two to get into an argument would be. Merchandise, clothes, makeup and Shepard. The Commander knew that for the sake of free enterprise and Citadel safety, he could not take Liara and or Ashley along.

"Besides, in some ways Liara is worse than Ashley. She's either absolutely shameless or absolutely clueless of what she's doing. Wait a second, we are all grown ups. I don't need to baby sit them. They can handle themselves, right? They're all mature adults, right?" Shepard thought. That's when he noticed Liara and Ashley staring at him with hopeful smiles and big puppy dog eyes.

"Nope"

In the end, Shepard took Garrus and Tali, the only two level headed people in the group. Perhaps one day he would take Garrus and Wrex as a guys day out. His only concern was Wrex destroying property and eating small children and Salarians. Turians too if they were small enough.

By the time the Commander had made it down the elevator into C-Sec, Dr. Chakwas had radioed him that there was already a medical situation concerning Ashley and Liara. They both swore they "fell down the stairs" and sustained multiple severe bruising, mild to aggravated bleeding and most tellingly, scratches.

Otherwise, the sights around the Presidium were certainly a break from the big bad galaxy out there. Of course, there was always the usual crowd of people asking for his help and attention. Being the paragon he was, he helped convince an Alliance negotiator to go get help for his drug addiction and convinced another Alliance officer to return the body of a certain Mrs. Bhatia back to her husband. He wasn't quite sure why he would be such a big paragon to convince the quartermaster to return the body since they were only testing it for weapons damage. Okay, yes, it is questionable to keep a body from the family, but as far as Shepard understood, it wasn't like the body was going to be kept indefinably. They could have just run a few quick tests and then sent the body back relatively undisturbed, right? (No disrespect for the dead, but it wasn't like the body was going to be completely undisturbed to begin with. Geth weaponry has a way of badly disturbing a body.) Why was the Milky Way Galaxy filled with so many either/or decisions? Ah well, at least he got the paragon points. Besides, there were certainly going to be more bodies with no one to claim them for the Alliance to probe at.

Of course, not all decisions were getting so clear cut and dry. There was that one Chorban guy scanning the Keepers. Now, the rules were that Keepers "must not be disturbed" although it was perfectly all right for Keepers to reprogram your office as many times as they wished. Of course, Chorban had better have a good reason for all this shady Keeper scanning.

"Why are you doing this?" Shepard asked.

"Scientific research." Chorban answered.

"What?"

"Its been centuries and we still don't know anything about the Keepers. You can't just capture them or get to close to them without them self destructing. We've finally managed to find a way to scan them. Nevermind the fact that we stole company property and retrofitted it to our own purposes." Chorban murmured.

"Hmm...how does it work?" Shepard asked, getting intrigued. After all, what harm could it be to help scientific research? If it wasn't for science, he'd have to lug around huge packets of ammunition as well as a whole hospital to take care of the injuries he'd sustain on a single mission run. Instant healing and limitless ammunition all wrought by science. Oh, and the endless moral dilemmas to be thought over too. All because of science.

"Well, you just point your scanner at them like so, hit this button and-" Suddenly, the Keeper exploded in a flash of slime, guts and sharp chitinous shrapnel.

"Arrrgggghhh! Omigosh my face! Arrrggggghhhh!" Chorban screamed, quickly attracting nearby unwanted attention. Two C-Sec guards were already rapidly approaching them.

"What's going on here?" A Turian guard asked. Tali, Garrus and Shepard pointed at the agonized Salarian, still screaming about the Keeper bits lodged in his face.

"Come with us." the officers told the hapless Salarian, dragging away the screaming wreck as Shepard, out of pity, poured a packet of medi-gel on Chorban's face.

"That was bizarre." Tali stated.

"I never thought you'd have it in you to break the law, Shepard." Garrus muttered.

"Shhh...I never actually did anything."

However, as more problems bombarded them, the less Shepard started to appreciate them. There was Conrad Verner, the hopeless fanboy wanting everything to do with Shepard. It's one thing to ask for a autograph. It's another to ask for a photograph. Shepard was starting to wonder if identity theft still existed. He also wondered whatever possessed him to take his gun out and pose like that for the photo. Especially in a crowded public area. At least it was simple telling Verner that he really should just stay home and not worry about being a Spectre. However, Emily Wong, as good intentioned her journalism may be, certainly could be a bit of a snoop. Besides, why couldn't she find any other poor sap to do her dirty work anyway? Wouldn't it make more sense to find a nobody rather than the first human Spectre with the crowd of idiots following him?

Shepard was even more thankful that he left Liara and Ashley behind when he decided to help that Asari consort. He really didn't appreciate getting pawed over by a shameless Asari flirt pretending to be respectable. What was with these Asari anyway?

"I did not expect you to help me out of the kindness of your heart Commander. Here is a small trinket for your services." the Asari consort cooed. Shepard analyzed it with a raised eyebrow.

"I clean up a little dirty problem for you that is only waiting to happen in your line of work, had to go through that den of iniquity called Chora's Den, and correspond with a hopeless Turian general and a depressive Elcor, and all you can give me is a lousy Prothean trinket? Granted, great historical value and all...but honestly!"

"Are you, dissatisfied Commander?" the Asari asked. Shepard looked up at her.

"Oh no, I see where this is going. Besides, even if I was crazy enough to accept, what am I going to say to Garrus and Tali? 'Please wait while I get laid for a few hours, and by the way, don't tell Ashley or Liara?' Better yet, what are they going to do, stay here and watch?"

"No, I'm very good, thanks." Shepard grumbled and spun on his heels. The commander was starting to wonder how the Asari became one of the most respected species in the galaxy. Granted, he only met a handful, but so far, the ones he met have either tried to kill him, contributed to research pointed at killing him, or tried to seduce him. The only one that had not done one of these things was the one on the Council, who usually made his job harder anyway.

When Shepard was asked by that one candidate at Terra Firma for an endorsement, whatever little was holding Shepard's mind together suddenly let go.

"7000 years of recorded human history, numerous wise sages and holy men denouncing it, and we still have racists and idiots like these? Its one thing to be cynical and reasoned with, but a whole political platform? I don't care how veiled and noble the pretty words sound. I don't give a rat's tale about "protecting" the human people. Heck, I'm given my position by the Council, a so far "alien" governing body, and these idiots want my endorsement because I'm the first human one? How in the world does that even make sense? Fine, they want racism, let them see the bitter fruits of the seeds they sow!"

"Commander, you all right?" the candidate asked. Shepard suddenly looked at him.

"So...about the endorsement..."

"Right." Shepard answered before his fist connected with the man's face. He decided to plant several pistol rounds in his body for good measure, much to a very stunned audience. Not surprisingly, the Turian C-Sec guards were staring the other direction.

It was at that moment that the commander realized that the very same wise sages and holy men denounced violence, even vengeance. That probably included slugging a racist. And shooting him with a pistol. Repeatedly. Shepard decided he probably should make amends.

"Here's some medi-gel." Shepard grumbled, tossing the package at the man, not even bothering to see if he was already a corpse.

"Don't you think that was a little extreme, Commander?" Tali asked quietly.

"Eh...maybe a little."

Several minutes later, in the depths of space on a curiously hijacked Normandy, Garrus the very concerned ex C-Sec officer walked into Dr. Chakwas office.

"Garrus, can I do something for you?" the good doctor asked.

"Well, not me...perhaps the Commander, though." the Turian whispered nervously.

"What do you think is wrong with Commander Shepard?" Chakwas asked.

"Well...I personally believe he's bi-polar." Garrus admitted.

"Bi-polar. Whatever made you believe that?"

"Well doctor, you spend your all your time here, so maybe you haven't noticed. Look, you just need to glance at his Paragon and Renegade meters, they're both equal with each other."

"Garrus, whatever are you talking about?" the doctor asked.

"You know what, nevermind." Garrus grumbled. Whoever came up with those little meters anyway?