Hiya! Thanks so much for your lovely comments for last chapter. I appreciate your kind words. I know I haven't replied to them all yet but I'm hoping you'll have this chapter instead. I've been caught up finishing fics for upcoming fests.
Warning: Here comes the smut. Enjoy (if you're of appropriate age. If not, you really shouldn't be here.)
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made or offence intended.
Sirius made what could only be described as a growl and suddenly, they were moving, Remus stumbling backwards until the edge of a bed met the back of his weakening knees.
'Naked,' Sirius muttered, lips doing incredible things to Remus' neck as his fingers fumbled at the buttons of the other boy's shirt. 'You need to be more naked.'
With those words, Remus' knees gave out and he collapsed back onto the bed, followed by an enthusiastic Sirius, whose knee missed Remus' bollocks by a mere inch as he worked to pull Remus' shirt tails out of his pants.
All inhibitions cast to the four winds, Remus pushed himself upright, gripping Sirius by the scruff of his neck and pulling him into a searing kiss that stilled his frantic fingers. They fell back onto the mattress, mouths joined in a soul-shaking kiss that deepened and grew until they were both light-headed from lack of oxygen.
'Where the bloody hell did you learn to kiss like that?' Sirius rasped, staring down incredulously at Remus with eyes that had turned completely black with desire.
Remus just shook his head, unable to coax his tongue into issuing a fully-formed sentence. Instead, his trembling hands moved to Sirius' shirt, roughly yanking the buttons from their holes. He'd waited so long for this, so long to find someone he wanted so much that he burned with the force of it. It was some kind of bloody miracle that the one his body screamed for wanted him back and he wasn't taking any chances that this could be snatched from him. He wanted to touch, to taste, to lose himself, and he would think about the consequences of this course of action on their friendship later – when his cock wasn't threatening to bust the zipper of his pants wide open.
Sirius released all of the buttons, pushing the shirt off Remus' shoulders with one hand while the other coasted down his scarred sternum. A soft groan escaped his lips. 'Gods, Remus...' Sirius breathed as his hand reached Remus' waistband. 'You have no idea how much I want this.'
Remus huffed out a disbelieving breath and shoved Sirius' now unbuttoned shirt down his arms. 'I think I have some idea,' he muttered. He bit his lip when Sirius' fingers tweaked his nipples and moved his hands to the front of Sirius' pants. 'Are we doing this with our pants on?'
Sirius grinned as Remus plucked at the button of his fly then kissed him hard and fast. 'Absolutely not,' he said, reaching for Remus' zipper.
Remus expected to feel more embarrassment, more shame, as his damaged flesh was revealed to Sirius' greedy eyes, but the expression of wanton lust on the other boy's face seemed to drive all his insecurities away. Sirius' desperate whimper as Remus stepped out of his pants made his abdomen tense dangerously and he took several deep breaths. He watched as Sirius' trousers fell away, swallowing hard to try and lubricate his suddenly dry throat.
'Fuck...you are... fuck,' he said insensibly and Sirius smirked.
'Get that reaction a lot,' he boasted.
Remus scowled, both at the bragging and the reminder that he wasn't the first to see that toned body, to touch those strong arms, to have that ridiculously hard cock brush over his thigh...
Sirius pushed him back onto the bed and, with one hand on either side of his head, leaned over Remus with a surprisingly gentle expression on his face. 'You are bloody gorgeous, Moony,' he said softly, his finger tracing the length of a scar on Remus' neck. 'I've been waiting for you. I didn't want this to happen with anyone but you. I didn't trust anyone else.'
The first stab of nerves pierced through Remus' lust-driven haze as he realised exactly what Sirius was saying, what he wanted, and he licked his lips. 'I don't have a clue what I'm doing, Sirius,' he whispered, feeling his cheeks heat up as the thought of actually doing this with Sirius made his cock twitch noticeably. 'I've never gone this far before.'
Sirius smiled, bringing their mouths back together briefly. 'Neither have I, but you can't mess up sex, Remus. Even when it's bad, it's good. Not that it would be bad...' he said hurriedly.
Somehow that didn't reassure Remus, whose nerves and doubts were now pelting him like hail stones. Sirius saw the expression on his face and frowned. 'No, Remus,' he said sternly. 'Stop over-thinking this. Sex isn't complicated. It's about making each other feel good and... Fuck, I really want to make you feel good.' His eyes roamed over Remus' face. 'This doesn't have to change anything between us.'
Remus bit his kiss-swollen lip. This was moving quickly, but he and Sirius knew each other inside out, they were attracted to each other, they both wanted this, but could things really stay the same afterwards?
Sirius kissed him then, his tongue gently coaxing his lips apart and drawing Remus' tongue into a lazy duel as the lip lock became more and more intense. Sirius pulled back, dragging his lips over Remus' cheek then flicking his ear lobe with his tongue.
'I want you to fuck me, Remus,' he whispered and, with those six words, all of Remus' reservations vanished in a wash of burning hot want.
'Fucking hell,' he hissed then, wrapping a leg over Sirius', he twisted them so he was laying on top of the other boy, their bare flesh pressed together from shoulder to hip. 'Yes...'
Sirius grunted his approval, the sound lost as their mouths crashed together once more.
It was surreal. Remus flushed as, after several long minutes of frantic kissing and careful, explorative touches, Sirius pressed a tube of lube into his hand, nodding encouragement then guiding Remus' fingers – suddenly feeling too thick and indelicate – inside him. Cock nearly fit to burst, Remus held on to his self-control for dear life as first one then two fingers disappeared inside a part of Sirius he had never dreamed he would ever see, let alone touch.
Then Sirius whispered, 'Now, Remus...' and pulled him closer until the head of his cock breached Sirius' body. Sirius tensed, his muscles clenching unbearably around Remus' cock, and bit back a cry of pain.
'I'll stop,' Remus said immediately, his voice strangled. His hips were moving minutely back and forth as he struggled to stop himself from ploughing right into that tight, clenching heat. 'I'll pull back...'
'Nope,' Sirius gasped out, spreading his legs wider as his fingers bit painfully into the flesh of Remus' buttock. 'Keep going.'
Remus frowned, doubting that this was the best course of action, but before he could stop himself, his hips were rocking forward, another inch of his throbbing shaft now encased inside Sirius' arse.
They both groaned simultaneously, Remus moaning, 'Gods, Sirius. This feels fucking incredible.'
Sirius made a whimpering noise as Remus, unable to help himself, pushed on and sheathed himself completely inside the other boy. He stopped, panting furiously as he watched emotions flickering across Sirius' face.
'Pads, for Merlin's sake,' he said, wrenching the words from somewhere deep inside. 'I'm hurting you.'
'Just... give me a minute,' Sirius rasped out, both hands gripping Remus' hips to hold him still. 'I knew it would hurt a bit at first.'
Remus closed his eyes, praying that Sirius would unclench as he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on. He took deep, calming breaths and thought unsexy thoughts as, slowly, he felt the muscles squeezing his cock loosen. When he finally had the strength to open his eyes, the delicious vision of Sirius stroking himself greeted him, the other boy watching Remus' face as he fisted his own hardening cock.
'Everything alright there, Moony?' Sirius asked cheekily, the earlier tension just about gone from his face, much to Remus' relief.
Remus let out a puff of laughter. 'You're jerking yourself off while my cock is up your arse,' Remus choked out sarcastically. 'Just a normal day so far.'
Sirius laughed and Remus' eyes widened, inhaling sharply as Sirius' muscles tightened around his erection. 'Can I...?' he whispered hoarsely, and Sirius nodded.
'Slow at first, yeah?'
Remus nodded and his instincts kicked in, guiding his, at first, uncoordinated movements until he fell into a timeless rhythm. Slowly, as Sirius requested, to begin with, then Sirius locked a leg around his hips and arched up, his hand sliding faster up and down his pre-come slicked shaft.
'Harder,' he hissed then he bit down on his lip as Remus obeyed. 'Fuck, yes. That's it.'
Remus swore and flexed his hips harder and faster, Sirius' moans mingling with his own as he slammed himself inside the other boy without restraint. It only took half a dozen strokes for Remus to reach the end of his tether and, with a loud cry, he came so hard he saw stars.
Just as he was coming down from the incredible high, Sirius made a strangled noise and his body clenched around Remus' spent, sensitive cock, making him cry out from the pleasure-pain sensation. He watched as ropes of pearly white ejaculate shot across Sirius' stomach, the other boy's face flushed and strained as he lost himself inside his release.
It was the most amazing thing Remus had ever seen.
His arms gave out and he fell heavily onto Sirius' chest, grimacing when he felt the sticky spread of come across his belly. His flaccid cock slipped from the heat of Sirius' body and he heard Sirius hiss softly.
'Gods, I'm so sorry,' he said, immediately sitting up between Sirius' legs. 'I hurt you...'
'It's fine, Remus,' Sirius said reassuringly, patting Remus on the arm. 'Really. I knew it would burn a bit at first...'
'Could've warned me,' Remus muttered and Sirius frowned.
'Sorry,' he said regretfully. 'I probably should have. I was just worried you wouldn't do it if you thought you were going to hurt me at all.'
'I wouldn't have,' retorted Remus and Sirius sat up, his hand sliding into the hair at Remus' nape.
'Do you regret this?' he asked, the shakiness of his voice making him sound more vulnerable than Remus had ever heard before.
Remus shook his head. 'No, I don't,' he whispered, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Sirius' lips. 'You?'
'No way. No regrets,' Sirius replied, smiling and catching Remus' mouth with his own and this time, the kiss lingered sweetly until a thump on the door broke them apart.
'Unlock the bloody door, you bastards!' came James' indignant voice. 'If you two are filling my bed with spiders again, I swear I will hex your bloody bollocks off!'
*
Sirius made a soft noise as he sat down for breakfast, the sound making his three partners-in-crime look up from their laden plates.
'Alright, Padfoot?' Peter asked, his mouth overflowing with masticated bacon.
'Fine,' Sirius assured him, looking mildly disgusted by the sight. 'Just a pulled thigh muscle from Quidditch.'
James frowned and opened his mouth but Sirius, anticipating his questions, spoke first. 'I'm fine,' he repeated, reaching for the pumpkin juice. 'It won't stop me playing next match.'
A placated James went back to his food and Sirius snuck a look at Remus, who was frowning worriedly down at his plate. Sirius stretched out a foot under the table and kicked Remus gently on the ankle. Remus looked up, eyes wary, and Sirius smiled reassuringly at him. The other boy gave him a slightly grim smile back then poked at his fried egg.
Sirius sighed softly and sipped at his juice. He was sorer than he'd anticipated being, limping slightly on his return to the room last night, and he knew Remus was probably flagellating himself over it.
Gods, this is going to make Remus think twice about it happening again... or me doing it to him.
His fears were confirmed when he'd poked his head into Remus' closed curtains late last night only to have the other boy fake sleep to avoid talking to him. Then he'd overslept this morning and now wasn't going to get a chance to reassure Remus that, despite the slight lingering ache, he was just fine.
Better than fine.
Sirius hid a smile behind his glass of juice as he remembered the previous night. It really had been pretty amazing. Once that intense burning stretch had faded, the feeling of Remus filling him – hot and hard – had been bloody fantastic. And Remus had even managed to hit that spot inside him that he'd only read about, sending spikes of pleasure jolting through him. Sirius grinned around a mouthful of egg. Remus had been far more enthusiastic and responsive than he'd ever dreamed and...
Merlin, I'm getting hard.
He redirected his thoughts and lowered a hand to his lap, trying to adjust himself surreptitiously. He snuck another look at Remus who quickly averted his own gaze, a flush colouring his cheeks. Sirius smiled, ducking his head as he realised the other boy had been watching him. Perhaps it wasn't going to be as hard as he thought to convince Remus to do that again.
*
We can't do it again.
Remus gnawed at his lip, Professor McGonagall's lecture on human transfiguration washing over him as he thought about last night's events. It had been... well, bloody fantastic if he was honest with himself, but he'd seen the way Sirius was walking so carefully now, and things had been awkward this morning between he and Sirius. Sex was already affecting their friendship negatively and it would only get worse if they did it again.
Wouldn't it?
But he couldn't help but recall the way he'd felt when Sirius touched him, the way those grey eyes had turned to quicksilver when Remus thrust inside him… Remus groaned softly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair as his body made its opinion known. Sirius' head turned and he smirked at Remus as if he knew exactly what the other boy was thinking, and Remus glared back at him.
It can't happen again.
*
But it did. Just hours later while Peter and James were at training...
'We can't do this again, Sirius. You can hardly bloody walk...' He groaned as Sirius' hand squeezed his cock through his trousers then Sirius shoved the already half-naked Remus down onto his bed.
'Can you honestly tell me that you haven't been thinking about this all day?' Sirius hissed as he tore at Remus' fly. 'I saw your hard on, Remus. I saw the way you were looking at me.'
He pulled the whimpering Remus' pants and trousers off in one yank then stripped off his own before throwing himself down on top of him . 'We have about an hour before James and Peter finish training and I didn't arrange this 'pulled muscle' so we could sit here and have a cup of tea,' he said, lowering his head to press a trail of open mouthed kisses against Remus' chest. 'If you don't want me to fuck you, that's fine. You can fuck me again. Either way, we are getting off and getting off now.'
To emphasise his point, he bit down on Remus' nipple as he rolled his hips, grinning triumphantly when Remus stopped objecting and started swearing.
*
And then the next day, despite Remus' stern lectures to himself...
'I am not fucking you in a cupboard, Sirius!'
'Shh! Do you want to get caught? Come on, Remus. I'm so bloody hard it'll only take a minute to finish.'
'You do know fast is not a good thing, don't you?'
'It is when you've ten minutes left of lunch. Fine. Don't fuck me. Let me suck you off.'
'I... You... Oh, that... that's bloody fantastic...'
'You li...'
'Don't fucking stop!'
'Alright! Merlin, talk about bloody pushy...'
'Are you going to do this or wh... Oh, fuck.'
*
And, to Remus' enormous chagrin, he found himself actually begging for it the day after that...
'Gods, I thought they'd never go.'
'You're a bit keen for something, Moony. Don't know if I'm in the mood.'
'Oh! Er... sorry, Pads. I just... I thought...'
'Remus, I'm joking. If I had a slit fucking throat I'd still be in the mood. Get over here now and do something with that stiffie I can see in your pants.'
'Any suggestions?'
'Stick it up my arse or down my throat, I don't give a Kneazle's backside. Just get naked.'
Remus chose Sirius' throat for expediency – as he was quite close to losing it in his pants – and he was doing some fervent reciprocating when James almost caught them fifteen minutes later. Remus quickly swallowed the mouthful of bitter come Sirius had just shot over his tongue and rolled off the bed when he heard thundering footsteps outside.
Sirius was tucked away and lounging on his bed when James and Peter burst into the room, his pink cheeks the only indication of his recent activities. Remus fell onto his own bed, coughing a little and trying not to pull a face at the sour taste lingering on his tongue as he scolded himself for his weakness yet again.
We can't keep doing this. Hiding. Keeping secrets. It's starting to affect our friendship with Pete and James; how long until it affects our own friendship irrecoverably?
He tried not to let himself think about what he was slowly realising was the real problem - he wasn't sure that he wanted a friends with benefits arrangement with Sirius anymore. Every time they were together, he could feel himself falling deeper and deeper under Sirius' spell, wanting him more and more, needing him, and it terrified him.
What happens if I fall for him? What happens to us if I end up head over heels in love with him?
No. Best to end things now, before the inevitable happened and what they had was completely fucked up beyond all repair.
When he finally gathered the courage to inform Sirius of his decision the next morning, he was surprised and more than a little hurt by the nonchalant, 'Whatever,' he received in return. As he turned on his heel, stung by the easy acceptance, he failed to see disappointment and pain crumple Sirius' face.
TBC
