So our adventure continues, Howard Rimmer has crossed dimensions and now has bumped (literally) into his little brother, why here, why now?
Please review, it get's lonely out here... in space.
Arnold Rimmer shook his head trying to clear the vision that was there in front of him, it didn't budge. Howards hand extended down offered in what looked to be genuine offer of help. "Well I'm not falling for that old trick" thought Rimmer and pushed himself to his feet ignoring the hand.
Rimmer brushed himself down and took a step back just to be on the safe side.
The person looking very much like his middle brother spoke again.
"Rimmer, you OK, took a bit of a tumble there." Said the Howard in an oh so annoying space jock tone that Rimmer had used himself for that brief time when he had taken up the mantel of Ace Rimmer Space shagger.
Rimmer spluttered the next sentence and immediately regretted it. "Oh course I'm OK, I'm dead, not a lot worse can happen to me, can it?"
Howard looked a little uncomfortable. "Sorry little bro, at least I think your my little brother, Arnold Judis Rimmer, right?"
"Yes, that's me, but how the smeg did you end up here? I thought you and the rest of that god awful family of mine were dead."
"Long story, basically slipped a dimension and through myself into some sort of future." Said Howard peering past Rimmer at the doorway behind him.
"But Ace, err I mean my other self, he took the Dimension ship not you?" said Rimmer looking confused.
Howard split a grin that made Rimmers stomach lurch. "You little brother, I don't think so, last time I saw you was on Mimus."
"Mimus?" asked Rimmer dreading the answer
"Yes, you was working for some sort of charity."
Rimmer smiled. "A charity, well, well, important work no dought."
Howard coughed. "Of course, somebody has to pound the streets with the charity banner."
Rimmers nostrils fleered. "Charity BANNER! I'm a walking advert in your dimension."
Howards expression didn't change much but added. "Well at least you appear to have done better for yourself here, well apart from the being dead bit that is."
Rimmer suddenly realised Howard did not know what his position was. "Well yes, I do have a rather important role on-board, in fact some might say I am totally crucial to the on-going mission."
Behind Rimmer Lister appeared in the doorway. "Yeah and some might say you're a total twat Rimmer."
Rimmer span around and glared at Lister. "Lister, this is err, this is my older brother Howard, well not my real one, he is from another dimension."
Lister swaggered forward past Rimmer and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you man, I'm Lister, Dave Lister."
Howard snapped to a smart sault. "Admiral Lister, Sir I was not aware you where on board."
Lister grinned. "Admiral, I'm a bleeding Admiral don't you know."
Rimmer raised his hand. "Actually Lister, your not, your just a space bump who happens to have been very very lucky in another dimension."
Howard quickly realised things where not as he thought. "So your not an Admiral then?"
Lister shook his head, taking down a cigarette and popping it in his mouth. "Nope."
"I see, so who is in charge then?" asked Howard.
"Well officially Rimmer here, he outranks me but he's a twat so no one really."
Howard looked shocked at the news. "No one is in charge of this huge mining ship, how the heck have you not crashed or stopped dead?"
"Well Holly takes care of most of that?" said Lister
"Holly?" questioned Howard.
Rimmer interjected. "Ships computer."
"Of course, standard issue on these babies super IQ and all that, you're very lucky there."
Lister and Rimmer both raised their eyebrows but it was Lister who spoke. "Yeah we are, but you see he's well a bit odd."
Howard frowned. "A bit odd?"
"Yes, he has kind of gone a bit computer bonkers."
"So where is he now?" asked Howard looking towards a nearby dark screen.
"Offline, slight issue with water." Reported Rimmer, still trying desperately to sound like someone who knew what he was talking about.
"Water?"
"Yes, Bath overrun, computer core drowned, computer drying out." Continued Rimmer.
"Smeg, you two are up the creek with no paddle aren't you."
Rimmer still curios about why Howard had turned up directed that curiosity at Howard. "Err Howard what are you doing here?"
Howard seemed unable to answer at first he thought it over as if asking the same question to himself, then he spoke. "Well Dimension travel is a bit, hit and miss, but according to the boffs should take you to the nearest Dimension with what you need, kind of psychic link to travel!
"So why here?" asked Lister.
"Is there somewhere we can grab a drink and I'll explain." Said Howard stroking his chisel like chin.
Lister led Rimmer, Howard and Kryten who had joined them from his trip down to the medical unit into the Copacabana bar, there they were joined by the Cat who had sniffed them out.
"Sit down, make yourself comfy, I'll get us a drink." Said Lister heading over to the far side of the bar.
Howard made for one of the tables and squeezed into the fake leather topped bench seat, the kind that by the end of the night you had to peel your skin off.
Lister called over to the group. "Beer ok?"
Howard looks slightly sheepish. "Err actually got anything non-acholic there mate?" he called.
Lister scanned the shelves and found a small bottle of Mimiun Belon juice. "Mimun Juice ok?"
Howard nodded.
Lister joined the rest at the table, Rimmer still standing having decided to keep his distance from his older brother.
Lister looked over at Rimmer "Sit down man?"
Rimmer shook his head hard. "no thanks, prefer to stretch my legs." Lied Rimmer.
"Suite yourself." Said Lister pulling open his larger.
Howard shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "So I guess you want to know why I think I'm here."
The group nodded.
"Well about a year ago some strange things started happening to me."
Lister took a swig. "What kinda things?"
"Well normally I can pull a double flip barrel roll and not pass out, but I tried it twice and both times I err fainted." Said Howard looking embarrassed.
Kryten spoke up. "But sir that's nothing to be ashamed of, the Gs involved in those kind of manoeuvres are very stressful to the human body."
"But it had never happened before, and then this next time I was sent down to this colony on special assignment, apparently some sort of mutant pet had got loose and I was part of the crew sent in to mop it up."
Lister finished the can on his second swig. "And?"
"And, I lost it."
Rimmer smirked. "What you got lost? Didn't they give you a map?"
Howard glanced up at Rimmer, then back to the still full glass in front of him. "No, lost my bottle I was a wreck, only just made it back to the ship. That's when the medical team did a full breakdown on me. Apparently I have some sort of cellar breakdown and I am reverting to some sort of natural template."
Lister who had not fully understood half the sentence guessed what it meant. "What you're turning into Rimmer here?"
Howard's eyes turned to Rimmer again. "Don't know, but I am half the man I used to be."
Cat piped up. "Hey, well Rimmer here can give you lessons on that he's a first class half pint!"
Kryten pulled his medi-scanner out, the one he had brought it back with him from the medical unit. "May I sir?"
"Be my guest, not like your going to find anything the boffs didn't find."
Kryten proceeded to scan up and down Howards torso and as he did so he muttered. "Interesting, oh my, that is very odd."
Lister looked up at Kryten. "What you got?"
Kryten rechecked the read-out. "Well according to this primarily data Mr Rimmer Senior here has elevated levels of anxiety, fear and weaselness, in fact he is only 32% off Mr Rimmers score.
Rimmer looked at Kryten then at Howard. "You're turning into me?" he mulled it over then repeated himself. "You're turning into me! Hah that's just typical, all these years I have been jealous of you, you with your rank, your medals, your looks, and now you're going to be just like me."
Howard nodded. "That's about it little bro, unless." He paused thinking about what he was about to say.
Rimmer glared at Howard. "Unless what?"
Howard looked earnestly at his little brother. "Unless you help me little brother."
