Has it been a year already? I'm so sorry! I completely forgot that I have this story. But hey, better late than sorry. I really don't know where this story is going anymore. I forgot what I planned with this story so I am starting with scratch again and figuring out the plot line. Enjoy it for now. I'll try to make it better! Review please! I missed you! Review!

Do not own characters! :)


Chapter 4: To be left or not left alone.

"So sleeping beauty finally decided to wake up."

A deep masculine voice broke through Clary's train of thoughts as she whirled around to the source of the voice.

There, standing like a Greek God with his masculine arms crossed and wearing all leather was her God damned brother, Jonathan.

Clary narrowed her eyes on him.

"You're tone is far from grateful, brother. As I recall from last night's events, you wouldn't be using that voice at all if it wasn't for me."

She huffed, clearly offended by his treatment of her as she crossed her arms over her chest too.

"Yes, Oh-Hero-Of-Mine! Should I start groveling at your feet too just to please you, my lady?" Jonathan cynically mocked.

Clary smirked. "You can try."

But Jonathan just growled at her, clearly not fazed of the thought of bowing to anyone.

"You're so childish. Get your ass in the kitchen after fixing yourself." He waved at her messy self.

And before he left her to herself, he just couldn't resist it.

"And by the way, you drool in your sleep."

He walked out of the living room before he heard Clary's scream.

"Jonathan! You bastarding asshole! I do not drool!"

He smirked and considered it his win.


After dinner, which consisted of Chinese takeouts, lots of glaring, screaming, mumbled and loud curses, flying chinese chicken across the table, arguments, threatening and kicking under the table, the siblings found themselves back in the living room.

Clary insisted on checking Jonathan's chest wound again with her meticulous eyes and master ruin ability.

"If you just want to ogle at my sexy chest, you could have just asked."

Jonathan taunted.

In return, Clary pressed even harder her stele on his skin as she draw more iratze on him.

"Don't. And I say don't, talk to me like that when I am holding a stele."

He glared at her, hard.

"I will kill you without any hesitation if you try anything, sister."

"In fact, I should've killed you already after you selling me out to the Clave."

He spat out his words as he turned his head to the other side.

And this made Clary stop her hand from moving. She placed her stele back on the table and gently cupped Jonathan's cheeks to face her.

He reluctantly looked back again on her face as her palms forced him to. A dark scowl plastered on his face directed at her.

But Clary wasn't intimidated. She knew what she was doing with him was wrong but she could care less.

Maybe she was finally losing it. Maybe she already lost it a long time ago. Or maybe she just wanted to understand her brother.

She looked at his dark pools of eyes and looked into his soul. His eyes were the darkest shade of black she ever saw in her entire life. Those eyes could make anyone run. Those eyes could make anyone scream. They were the eyes of the devil himself and how they were so different from her unnatural emerald eyes because hers were from an angel.

She saw his resentment, betrayal, anger, and annoyance at her.

But she also saw a flicker of disappointment and hurt and that gave her hope. Maybe he can still be saved.

"Do you really think I betrayed you, Jonathan." Clary asked with her cold and serious voice.

He was surprised of her tone and her usage of his proper name but he was mad at her. And a mad man cannot see logic.

"Would, Clary? You already betrayed me! What else do you want from me? What is all of this pretension?"

Jonathan pushed Clary away from him and stood up.

"Pretension?" Clary shot back with a confused look.

"This!" He grabbed Clary's neck, suffocating her a little as he pressed her to the closest wall. "This pretension that you actually care about my well-being! We all know that you are just following the Clave's order. And I don't like it! I don't like being toyed and played Clarissa."

Clary struggled to get out of Jonathan's hold but his hold was firm and strong.

"I… I would… never." Clary managed to gasped out of his hold on her throat.

After what seems like years and when Clary was already seeing some black specks on her vision and after Jonathan looked for something in Clary's face, he finally let go.

Clary sagged on the floor while taking back as much oxygen as she can with each breathe of hers. She touched her neck and hissed at the painful sensation. She wouldn't be surprised if there were angry red lines marking her fragile neck.

She glared at the back of her oppressor and felt her fury rising.

"Are you so intent on looking for the worst part in every individual, Jonathan?! Is it so hard to believe that maybe I, your sister, truly wants to help you?! Is it so hard to believe that I might actually care for your well-being? Even if just a little, you bastard?!"

Clary screamed at Jonathan who was now facing her with a conflicted expression.

"Get.. Get out, Clary. Go home. I don't want to deal with you right now." Jonathan said, ready to walk out.

Clary let out a sarcastic chuckle. "So you are just going to leave when things get complicated?"

Clary walked furiously to him and grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving.

"Let go, Clarissa."

"No. You are so stubborn and immature and pathetic. And I can't take it anymore. All this killing and darkness. Why are you so intent on creating chaos. On preventing peace to exist?!"

"I said let go!" With that, Jonathan ripped his arms off her hold but by doing so and by the applied force that he did not even noticed because he was so mad, Clary was thrown to the center glass table in the living room. The impact caused the glass table to shatter and some of the pieces cut through Clary's forearms.

Clary cried out because of pain. Her forearm was bleeding so hard that the flow of blood never seemed to stop.

Jonathan turned to face Clary the first moment he heard Clary's scream. Both faced each other with their horrified looks.

Clary was horrified because Jonathan never hurt her without reason although sometimes his reasons were unfair but there were always reasons.

Jonathan was horrified because of the amount of blood that was coming out of Clary and because of the fact that he did not intend to hurt her this time. For God sake he should have more control over himself than that.

Jonathan took a step towards her. "Clary… I.." But Clary backed away while cradling her bleeding arm.

"Don't… don't come near me. I'll go. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone." She said with shaky voice as she managed to stand up with her wobbly feet. She walked to the nearest wall again and drew her portal. It was shining blue and she could already feel home on the other side.

Jonathan still haven't made a move for her.

"I will say this only once, Jonathan. I did not betray you nor will I. Your little secret about your location is safe with me. But frankly, I just don't care anymore if you believe me or not. In return, I want you to stay away from me as well."

With those words, Jonathan felt something inside of him fell apart. Was it hope, longing or wishful thinking? He did not know. All he knew was that he did not really want for Clary to go. He wanted her to stay with him. But it was already too late.

"Goodbye, Jonathan." Clary thrown herself to her portal which closed before he could even react. He saw her got sucked inside of her portal which left him alone once again in his cold little world.

And maybe, he did not truly meant his words to Clary.


After cleaning her wounds, bandaging it and maybe shedding a few tears of frustration, Clary made her way down to her house's kitchen to get some water. She was met with her mother's shocked and relieved face.

"Clary!" Her mother rushed to her and engulfed her with a bone crushing hug.

"Where were you! You were gone for three days and no one seems to know where you are! I was just about to call the Clave for help! Are you okay?" Jocelyn looked at her bandaged arm.

"It's nothing, Mom. I was just involved in some mundane accident. I stayed in a friends house since it was his fault." Clary lied with a convincing voice.

"What happened?! Are you alright now? Who is this friend of yours?" Jocelyn looked worriedly at her only daughter.

Clary smiled tiredly. "It's no one important, Mom. It is not worth mentioning. All that matters is that I'm fine and surviving."

Jocelyn reluctantly agreed but she felt like something was still wrong.


Weeks passed since the incident and the people around Clary noticed her getting more secluded from everyone. The Clave, on the other hand, liked the new Clary with lesser emotion and more precise thinking. They continued to praise her with her job well-done missions and improving rune ability. Some already called her the daughter of the Clave and the shadowhunters around her couldn't be even prouder.


Clary just finished showering after finishing a mission directly from the Clave. Her mission nowadays mostly composed of finding informations, people, and killing demons. It wasn't very hard but it was draining at times especially when it wasn't really her passion.

She was wearing her white flowy dress that she considered her pajamas and stood up just behind her glass sliding window. All she wanted to do is go to bed and rest but she was particularly looking for a thing that was always left in her window.

A red rose with a black ribbon tied around the stem.

For some reason, someone just decided one day to leave a rose in her window every night.

She considered it very creepy at first but as days passed and no one seemed to want to kill her. She started enjoying the roses left for her. She might have also been excited to go home just to see if there will be one again waiting for her.

And the person never failed.

Each and every night, a red rose with a black ribbon tied to its stem awaited her patiently.

She never knew who was it. At first, she considered it to be Jace but when she confronted it about it, he seemed genuinely lost and a bit enraged that someone would dare try something romantic with her.

Simon was out of the occasion because he was with Isabelle.

So the person remained unknown. Although unknown to her, a black pair of eyes hidden in the shadows watched her devotedly as she picked up his gift with a lovely blush on her face as she cradled it and smelled its fragrance.

Each and every night, he watched her carefully as she placed a new rose in the vase that held the very first rose he gave her. Those rose that never withered because of an enchantment that he casted seemed to pleased her.

And it pleased him to see that she arranged it beautifully and took care of his gifts with her joyous giggles.

Would she still smile and laugh once she knew that they were all from him, the devil?

It was a torture and a sweet treat at the same time and he cherished their bitter-sweet predicament but he knew that it wouldn't be too long before he reveal himself to her.

Only a fool could resist an Angel who calls for him every night.


Clary immediately rushed to her window again after her shower, it became her ritual now every night to look for the rose that awaited her.

But this night, no rose awaited for her, only the cold breeze of the night.

Clary frowned and looked again. Maybe it fell somewhere? Maybe the person got tired of their little charade? Did she do something wrong?

She hurriedly looked for it but there wasn't one anywhere. Something in her broke and she could feel some tears ready to fall. How pathetic was she? She was not even a greedy person and she did not even know who the person was. But she had been receiving it for a while now that it seemed unnatural now not to receive one.

Why did it stop?

"Are you looking for this?" A voice inside of her room echoed in the darkness of the night and she whirled so fast the person inside of her room was scared she would snap her neck.

At the sight of her secret rose bearer, Clary did not know if she should cry of joy or fear of finally finding out who had been giving her rose every night like a devoted lover.

Those roses were constant for whole four months now.

Those roses were one of the few things that actually made her happy.

Those roses were cherished by her.

Those roses were one of her happiness.

"You… you promised you'll stay away as long as I do too." Clary said with shaky voice.

Then the memories of the past months flooded her.

He was always constant in her mind whenever her mind wasn't preoccupied. He always managed to sneakily slipped himself in her train of thoughts. He was always their lingering and taunting.

And oh his voice! It was always echoing and calling her name.

He plagued her mind and her heart constantly worried if today will be the day that he would be captured and be killed.

Her ears were always open whenever they talked about him and by the angel, she knew she could find him and go to him when she really wills it.

But she always prevented herself. No matter how much her heart worried and ached of the talk of his close capture, she forced it to calm down and told it numerous times that it was not her business anymore of what would happen to him shall he should be captured.

She promised not to be on his way anymore so what was he doing back on her life again after the torturous four months?

"Why are you here, Jonathan?" She found her voice once again.


"Clary, please, I cannot do this anymore. Let us stop this." Jonathan stepped closer to her with a rose still being held by his one hand.

"Clary, I tried so hard. You have to believe me. I tried to stay away. At first, I was glad that you are not going to mess my plans anymore but as weeks passed, you still lingered in my mind, Clary. I can even still smell your blood on my floor."

"And whose fault was that?" Clary narrowed her eyes.

"Mine!" Jonathan ran a frustrated hand on his messy hair already. He looked so tired and just so drained. He looked so different from the usual confident and cocky brother of hers. She wondered if their separation had also caused some toll on him.

"By the Angel! I knew I was the one who proposed this but I could not longer stand this Clary. I need you by my side or I would go insane. I could not think straight anymore. All I could think about is you and your voice saying that you care about me. I denied it so much but I could not deny it anymore. I could not deny anymore that I also care about you, Clary."

Jonathan was already standing so near her with him coaxing her arms.

"Is this some devious plot of yours to make me help you murder the others again?" Clary asked with suspicion.

"No! Clary, no! I knew you would still be against my goal but if you don't really want to take part in it then you don't have to. I promise. You can just stay in our manor where I know you will be safe. I just need you by my side, Clary, please. You don't have to fight or anything."

By now, Jonathan was already trailing kisses on Clary's neck making her want to moan and when she knew she was about to give in, she pushed him from her.

"This is wrong Jonathan, we are siblings!" Clary turned away from him.

"So what Clary?! Valentine have done so much things already with our blood that there is no way our DNA would be the same. Hell, we could be not related at all with how much we differ!"

"People would talk, Jonathan! Incest is still forbidden and looked down upon!" Clary hissed but Jonathan just pulled her into his chest and engulfed her small body with his strong arms.

"Then let them talk, Clary. Why does this concern you now, sister? People have been talking about us before we were even born. All that matter is us and don't you deny that you do not feel the connection between us because I know you do."

Jonathan pulled back a little to look at Clary's eyes. "You are made for me, Clary. You're the angel to the demon part of me and I am not letting you go no matter what."

Clary looked back at him with fear, fear of the unknown, fear of the world, fear of what is about to come from their decision. "I am scared Jon, this is all too sudden and I don't know what to do once people..."

"Shhshs... I know, I know. But we are going to figure this out together, Clary. I'll always be by your side and you'll be by my side. We will be strong by each other's side to face any challenges the world gives us."

"And if the world turns its back on us and completely casts us out?"

"Then we will build our own world, Clary. We will build our better world from the fire and ashes of their own."

With that, Jonathan sealed his eternal promise to Clary with a heavenly kiss.


I've done it and I am not sorry on how I forced Clary and Jonathan together! Review? :)

Seriously guys, I missed writing!

Review! :)