MERTHUR- CHAPTER 4
CONFESSIONS
When they finished with the armor and boots Arthur commented on how much easier it was then he originally thought and then he asked Merlin to take a ride with him so they went to the stables and rode off. Merlin didn't know where they were going he just followed Arthur and eventually they came to a lake. Once Merlin was off his horse Arthur took his hand and they started to walk around the lake. Merlin never felt so happy before, here he was walking hand in hand with Arthur, the king of Camelot. He could have anybody and he wanted him, scrawny awkward Merlin.
"When I followed you to your village I promised you I would explain to you why I acted the way I did. I started having dreams about you and I being together like this and I kept waking up in the middle of the night and I was happy, but then I would remember who I was and what was expected of me and I would get frustrated."
"So whenever you saw me I reminded you of that and that is why you were so angry with me" Merlin said.
"Yes that in combination I wasn't sleeping well so I was cranky because of that as well. What you never saw or knew was the pain and guilt I felt after I would yell and scream at you and push you around. I was taking my frustrations out on you for something that wasn't even your fault, but what I never expected was you leaving I just took for granted that you would always be there and then I found that note. When I read it, I wasn't mad, well not at you at least, I was mad at myself for what I did, what I said and driving you to the point of leaving. When I read that note my heart sank I had trouble breathing I had to find you, I had to get you back, you were gone and the possibility of never laying eyes on you again was something I couldn't bear to think about. Again I am so sorry for putting you through that and I won't be surprised if you never really forgive me."
Merlin stopped walking and tugged on Arthur's hand forcing him to turn around and Merlin kissed him.
"All has been forgiven and forgotten already" he said.
"You want to know when I first fell in love you." Arthur asked and Merlin shook his head.
"When you drank from the poisoned goblet"
"You fell in love with me when I drank poison and almost died" Merlin said and they way he said it they both laughed.
"Well I really started to like you when you realized I was a prince and called me a royal prat instead of a regular prat."
"Not that I was looking for it, but I never noticed you acting any different towards me, you hid your feelings rather well" said Merlin.
"Well what choice did I have, you know how my father felt about servants and if he knew I had any kind of feelings for you other than master/servant who knows what he would have done. I don't know if I told you but he actually threw me in the dungeons when I went out to find that flower that Gaius needed to save your life. I asked him to at least take it to Gaius but he just crumpled it up and threw it on the ground so I had no choice but hide how I felt, he was not exactly thrilled at my reaction after you collapsed after drinking the poison. You know when he died and I came out of the room where he body was lying in state and saw you there sitting on the floor. There were no guards around, nobody was there waiting for me but you, that only reaffirmed my feelings, but now I was king I had to arrange my father's funeral and well you were here you know everything that has taken place. I barely had time to think let alone the time to confess to you what I felt not to mention as king I'm expected to get married and produce an heir and that only added to my frustration."
"Arthur please don't beat yourself up about all of this, I completely understand, I know there are expectations set on you and that your life is really not your own and I know the time is going to come when you will have to marry and have children and I'll just be your servant again and I would be lying if I wasn't upset about that but we don't need to worry about that now, let's just enjoy the time that we do have together." Merlin said and they kissed again. This time Merlin took Arthur's hand they continued their walk around the lake and Merlin had one thing running through his head and that was the biggest secret of his life and should he tell Arthur or not and if did tell him would Arthur's feelings change towards him. If he doesn't tell him and he finds out eventually, how will he react then knowing that Merlin kept something as important as magic from him all this time.
"Merlin are you alright?"
"Huh"
"Was it something I said? You've suddenly gotten quiet"
"Oh just thinking"
"I figured that much, but what are you thinking about that's bothering you?"
Merlin stopped and turned to face Arthur "there is something I need to tell you but I'm afraid if I tell you your feelings will change, but if I don't tell you and you find out eventually you'll hate me for keeping it secret." Arthur looked at him a bit worried and wondered what he could be hiding that would make him think he could ever hate him. He was about to say something when suddenly a group of rough looking men came out of the forest. Arthur moved and forced Merlin to stand behind him to protect him, but the men were armed and Arthur didn't have his sword with him, not that it would do any good as they were outnumbered and there was no place for them to run. The only side that they were not surrounded on was behind them but that was only because it was the lake.
"You look like you have like you might have some gold so why don't you hand it over and we might let you leave here" one of the men said. It was obvious that they didn't know who Arthur was and that was a good thing but it didn't help their present situation. Merlin was wondering if he should tell Arthur the truth and it seemed like he was not going to have a choice to show him what he has been hiding.
While hidden behind Arthur Merlin turned and looked at the water and whispered something and then concentrated, soon the water began bubble and waves started to form. The men stopped and looked past Arthur at the lake and soon he too glanced around and saw the water acting strange and then without warning half the water in the lake moved and formed a giant pillar which then turned into the shape of an arm and hand. Then men panicked and started running back into the forest and the pillar of water broke into six smaller pillars but now they were in the form of snakes they zoomed past Arthur and Merlin and reached into the forest, when they retracted they had the men wrapped up and then they fell back into the lake, taking the men with them.
Arthur didn't know what to do or say he sort of stumbled looking around trying to figure out what had just happened and when he did Merlin turned completely around so he was facing the lake arms folded across his chest and his head down. He didn't want to look at Arthur for fear of the look on his face.
"Merlin what….what just happened?" Arthur asked sitting down on a boulder still looking around.
"I think you already know the answer to that Arthur" Merlin said as he continued to look out over the lake.
Merlin was right he did know what it was, it was magic and he could see nobody else in the area which meant Merlin did it, Merlin had magical powers.
"Is this the thing you were thinking about, the secret you were afraid to tell me about because you thought I would hate you?"
Merlin didn't answer he just shook his head yes and continued to stand there, facing the lake, his head down, as he fought back the urge to cry.
"Before you ask or even start to wonder, the dreams you said you were having, everything you said to me in my village and everything you said to me since I've been back, those are your true feelings, so please don't insult me by accusing me of putting you under some sort of spell. I would never, ever do that to you or anybody."
"Merlin come here please" Arthur said but Merlin didn't move so Arthur got up and walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist resting his head on Merlin's shoulder.
"The thought never crossed my mind even for a second because I neglected to tell you that the first day I laid eyes on you I was captivated by you. I could ask why you kept it a secret all this time but I already know the answer to that one."
"My first day in Camelot a man was beheaded for practicing magic I knew then either I keep it quiet or I turn around and leave but Gaius was expecting me and my mother really wanted me to learn from him and have a shot at a better life so I decided to keep it quiet."
"I understand completely" Arthur said as he started to kiss and nibbled on Merlin's ear.
"Thank you" he whispered in his ear.
"What for" Merlin asked in response.
"For saving our lives, my life just now" Arthur said as he kissed Merlin's neck from one side, around the back to the other side.
"So you don't hate me, or are mad me then?"
"Absolutely not, I love you way too much to hate you and after losing you once I have no plans to do anything to drive you away again" Arthur said before he spun Merlin around and kissed him like he never kissed him before. While they were kissing Merlin grabbed Arthur's shirt and pulled out of the kiss long enough to pull it over Arthur's head.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I want you, I want you right here, right now" Merlin said as he started to work on getting Arthur's pants off, kissing him and backing him up towards the boulder. When they reached it Merlin spun him around and bent him over the boulder and took him right there. When he finished Arthur spun around and knocked Merlin to the ground, pulling his pants off and taking him there on the ground, along the water's edge.
"Now I really can't wait until Friday night" Merlin said as they were laying there catching their breath and they both started to laugh.
