What if This Storm Ends?

Chapter 4: Losing Color

A/N: Probably my best kept secret for writing something so depressing would be the music I listen to in order to get myself in the mood for it. I doubt anyone cares, but I was at a loss for what to put here. Thanks for reading my useless thoughts. Although if anyone needs some sad inspiration, I put my playlist on my profile page.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

~!#$%^&*()_+

"You think I don't know it hurts, Cat? You're not the only one who lost someone. But you've missed two weeks of school, and you aren't missing anymore!"

This had been Cat's week. Her mother and father's idea of the grieving process was to react to everything with anger. Cat didn't want to go to school. For the first time in her life, she didn't want to be around people. They wouldn't know how to act around her, and worse, she didn't know how to act either.

Of course, Cat's behavior wasn't exactly healthy either. She would lock herself in her brother's room for hours at a time, which her parents had grown used to. They had stopped knocking altogether.

They would barely speak to her, unless they needed someone to yell at. Cat was fine with being their emotional outlet. She wouldn't bother responding to any of it. She didn't feel that she had anything useful to say half the time.

The house seemed much colder since the funeral, but that might have been because Cat barely ate enough to keep herself alive. She mostly just drank water, and sat in her brother's windowsill. This was her life now.

Cat sighed timidly, as her mother swept from the room without another word. She'd had the misfortune of being caught in the kitchen getting water while her mother was still there.

She contemplated just going back to Simon's room and locking the door. She knew her mother though, and she would check in with the school to make sure Cat attended.

She sighed again, knowing she couldn't avoid this. Knowing she'd have to withstand her friends and their sympathy.

She didn't want to be bitter, but it wasn't something she could control. She just wanted to be alone.

She had even taken to avoiding Robbie, the one person she actually wanted to see. He had made every effort to be there for her, but she wasn't about to drag him down to her level.

She let out a shaky breath and used her fist to pull herself away from the kitchen table, deciding she might as well go get dressed for school.

She simply pulled out a sweater and a pair of jeans. Wearing cute clothes, putting on make-up, it all seemed so useless to her. She couldn't believe she ever cared about such things.

Today, her main concern was getting through school and coming home as soon as she could, all while avoiding her parents.

After getting dressed and brushing her teeth, Cat made the dreary walk to the bus stop, ignoring the strange looks from the driver and the students.

She was sure they had all heard by now, so she simply moved quickly to the back of the bus and hid there.

One girl directly ahead of her peeked over the seat with curious blue eyes.

"I heard about your brother. I'm really sorry," she told Cat genuinely, and Cat mulled over what to say for a few awkward seconds.

She settled on a low "thanks" and turned her head to stare out the window, hoping this would deter anyone else from offering their condolences.

Cat couldn't help but notice that the bus was quieter than usual. She risked a quick glance at the rest of the occupants, and realized they were all staring at her, and any conversing that was going on was carried out in whispers.

Cat looked down quickly, playing with the hem of her sweater self-consciously. She chewed her lip and prayed to get to school quickly. She knew there were more people there, but it would be a lot easier to hide from them in a large high school than on a tiny school bus.

When the bus finally screeched to a halt outside of Hollywood Arts, Cat was the first to the front, as the other students had to gather their things first. Cat kept her head down as she maintained a swift gait towards the school's front entrance.

She prayed that none of her friends would spot her, though with her outlandish red hair, she felt that if they were outside, they would have seen her by now.

She didn't bother stopping by her locker to store her books, for Robbie's locker was right across the hall from hers.

The dread was filling her stomach again, as she inched closer to the door to her homeroom.

She didn't want to think about the looks she would get when she walked in. She hadn't noticed before, but her breathing was getting dangerously quick. She felt like her throat would close if she stood there any longer, so she contemplated just going ahead in, just like one would rip off a bandage.

'Just get it over with,' she thought to herself, since she was unable to speak. She brought herself a few steps closer.

She could see her homeroom teacher through the small, rectangular window in the door. He was perfecting the alignment of some papers on his desk, waiting for the students to stop talking.

He was so mild-mannered, and he never yelled at the students. Cat really liked him, but today, she was in no mood for people.

Just when she thought she had mustered enough courage to walk in, Tori and Robbie appeared in front of the door, in deep conversation. They didn't seem to notice her, which she was thankful for. They went inside the classroom, and Cat's breath had hitched in her throat.

Closing her eyes, trying to fight off the impending silent tears she knew were coming. She gave up on the classroom and darted towards the bathroom, as she clearly couldn't enter class while in hysterics.

She found the bathroom to be empty, as everyone had already scampered off to their classes.

Cat placed her hands on the sink and hung her head over it, eyes closed, embracing the silence that surrounded her. The voices made her head pound. Alone, the dread was easing off. She lifted her head towards the mirror, and frowned at her reflection.

Her tired eyes seemed to be black as coal, instead of their usual brown. There were dark circles around them, complementing her pale skin in some strange way.

Even her red hair seemed as dull as she had ever seen it. Or maybe that was because everything seemed to be losing color.

Cat pursed her lips and glanced down at the sink again, gliding her finger around the circumference of the chrome drain.

She yelped in surprise as the bathroom door opened, and saw the principal's assistant peek her head in. She raised an eyebrow, obviously not expecting to see a student in there. One of her duties was to look around the school for students cutting class. Cat sighed inwardly, considering that's what she was doing.

"Let's go," the woman said threateningly, and Cat closed her eyes and rolled them in secret, before following her out the door.

"Class has started, you know," the woman, Ms. Jenkins, said nastily.

"I had no idea," Cat retorted, the biting sarcasm in her voice surprising even her. It wasn't like her.

"An attitude like that is likely to earn you a detention, Missy," Ms. Jenkins said, whipping around to face Cat.

"Anything to escape the sound of nails on a chalkboard that I hear when you talk," Cat told her, anger replacing the dread she had once felt. Ms. Jenkins was taken aback by Cat's defiance.

"Fine, I'm taking you to Mr. Claude's classroom. It's empty right now. Let's see how outspoken you are in solitary confinement," Ms. Jenkins declared, pleased with herself.

Cat smirked mischievously, as Ms. Jenkins grabbed her arm. She would finally be able to sit alone, in complete silence.

As they reached the deserted classroom, Cat chose a desk in the back, and kept her solemn eyes on Ms. Jenkins, who moved towards the door.

"You will remain here for thirty minutes. I'm locking the door, so don't even bother trying to get out," she spat, sneering at Cat, who was pretty sure that wasn't standard practice.

Cat glanced at the windows, certain she could get out that way, just to spite Ms. Jenkins. But she was perfectly content being alone in the classroom. Solitude was what she had been craving ever since she'd walked onto the school bus.

She elected to stare at the sunny day outside, though it seemed darker than usual. But what wasn't losing color these days?

-o-

"Where's Rex?" Tori leaned towards Robbie's chair to ask him.

"I, uh, I left him at home," Robbie answered her awkwardly, staring at his shoes.

They'd just arrived in Sikowitz's classroom, and were waiting on their teacher to show up.

He finally burst through the door a few seconds later, seeming rather frazzled.

"Class will have to be delayed a few moments, I've got a rescue mission to carry out," he told them, sipping on his favorite beverage, coconut milk.

"A rescue mission?" Beck Oliver repeated curiously.

"Yep. It seems someone put our favorite red velvet cupcake in detention," he chuckled, as though it were the most absurd thing that had ever happened.

Robbie's eyes snapped up toward his teacher at hearing the well-known name Cat had given her hair color.

"Cat?" He said eagerly.

"Yep. I've gotta go break her out," Sikowitz replied, taking one lingering sip of his coconut milk, before heading for the door.

"Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that," Jade West yelled after him, but he was already gone.

Robbie's heartbeat quickened, knowing Cat had finally come back to school. He felt excited, and a little nervous. He found himself wondering what she would be like, as it felt like it had been months since he had seen her.

Maybe Rex would finally talk again...

"Wait, did he say she was in detention? That doesn't sound like Cat," Tori thought out loud, interrupting Robbie's thought process.

She was right. Robbie hadn't considered anything more than the fact that Cat was back. Cat was always so nice to the teachers and to the students. She never really broke any of the rules.

Winding up in detention was so unlike her. Robbie wondered what else had changed.

-o-

Cat had only been in detention for twenty minutes, and she was almost dreading it being over. She didn't want to go back out into the swarm of voices that surrounded the school.

She was startled by a noise by the door. She knew Ms. Jenkins wouldn't be coming to let her out already. If anything, she'd have left Cat in there longer if she could get away with it.

Cat's brow furrowed as the tangled, brown mop of Sikowitz appeared in the window. His face was pressed against the glass with a goofy smile. Cat wondered what he was doing.

She found out before he could tell her, as she heard the lock click, and the door opened. Sikowitz breathed heavily as though he had just lifted a two-hundred pound free weight.

"That was exhilarating!" He told her excitedly.

"What are you doing here?" Cat inquired, not really matching his fervor.

"I'm here to bring you back to class," his voice boomed, and he posed as though he were a superhero.

"Sikowitz, the detention is only for thirty minutes," Cat informed him, figuring there was no point in leaving now. Besides, she had no desire to go to class.

"You would deny me my very first jailbreak?" He pleaded with her, being melodramatic as everyone was used to when it came to Sikowitz.

"But-" she started, but she knew the battle was lost when he pouted at her.

She knew she had to go back. She had to get over this dread she was feeling. She couldn't avoid school forever, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Fine," Cat agreed, with no emotion whatsoever. Sikowitz skipped out the door like a giddy little girl, with Cat in tow.

Her friends would all see her, and there was no way out, now.