I know there will be some that will judge Booth for what happens in this chapter. But I am sure we have all had those moments of clarity that occur at the most awkward, most inappropriate times, just probably not as inappropriate as this. I struggled with this and how to have the kind of impact I needed it to have on Booth.
Again I hope you enjoy
To everyone that has left reviews thank you so much. To the Lurkers, thank you for reading and I hope you are enjoying it so far.
Booth and Brennan arrived at the Hoover building bright and early on a Friday morning. They were set to leave within the hour for their retreat. Booth had the Mercedes washed and waxed the night before. He got out of the car and walked around it.
"Look at her Bones, isn't she a thing of beauty."
"Booth it is a car."
"Not just a car, it is a work of art. This is the Mercedes SL550 Roadster"
"Okay Booth, now would you load the luggage into the work of art please."
Booth shot her an annoyed look and popped the trunk and started to place their luggage in it. "Booth you should really have placed this bag in before that one as it will fit into that space left by the other two bags."
"I know how to put luggage in a trunk Bones."
"Okay just saying you won't be able to close the trunk doing it your way."
"Yes I will"
"No you won't"
"Bones"
"Fine, do it your way, I will wait over here until you figure out I was right."
After several attempts Booth pulled part of the luggage out and repacked it the way Bones originally told him it would work and the trunk closed on the first try.
Smiling smugly at him, she headed for the car "Are you ready Booth?"
"Yeah" he rounded the car and stopped in his tracks, across the street sat Hannah; she raised her hand and waved at him, tears streaming down her face. "Bones, give me a minute."
"Sure"
Booth jogged over to her car and leaned on the side of it while they spoke. When she pulled away he stood there and watched her car until it was out of sight, then crossed back across and got in the car.
"Booth are you okay?"
"Fine Bones"
"You don't sound fine."
"Drop it Bones, I am fine. Let's go and get this over with."
"NO!" she opened her car door and stepped out.
"What do you mean no?" Booth followed her
"Look this is going to be hard enough without you holding this against me."
"What am I holding against you?"
"Being separated from Hannah. I can't ask you to do this Booth."
"Bones you didn't ask me to do this, I chose to do this. We both chose to do this." He walked up and took Brennan by the arms "We are doing this for those kids, if nothing else maybe we can give their families some closure."
"Booth"
"Yeah"
"Is Hannah okay?"
"She is as okay as she can be."
"Would it help if I talked to her?"
"No … but thanks"
"Okay, let's go, the sooner we figure this out the sooner you can get on with your life."
"And you too Bones."
"Yes, right … me too."
The ride towards their destination that was on the southern end of the Blue Ridge Mountain range was quiet, each lost in their own thoughts.
Brennan had called her father the night before to inform him of the operation and that he could contact Angela in the event of an emergency. She also called her best friend and confidant, Angela. She needed a pep talk to get her through this.
"Hey Sweetie"
"Tell me I am doing the right thing."
"Sweetie I want to. But Bren you are going to have to admit your feelings for Booth and deal with those feelings. I think this retreat is going to rip you two apart."
"He has moved on, I have accepted that."
"You don't just turn love on and off, it doesn't work that way."
"But Ange, how do you know if what you feel is real?"
"What would Booth tell you?"
"He would tell me, you just know."
"He is right you know. You need to talk to Booth, you need to come clean with him, otherwise he might say or do something that could be misread by you. Promise me you will talk with Booth, so there is no question, no doubt."
"I promise" there was a comfortable silence between the friends. "And Ange … thank you"
"You're welcome, I love you."
"I know you do."
Brennan sat on the edge of her bed holding a photo of her and Booth at a Christmas party. She remember this party, she had not wanted to go and Booth begged her to stay since he had been ordered to go 'mingle' by his superiors as part of his job as FBI liaison to the Jeffersonian. He was sitting in a chair to avoid falling over, he had engaged in the holiday spirits just one to many times. Brennan was walking by and Booth had pulled her down onto his lap to get their picture taken. For several minutes he wouldn't release her while he gave her his goofy grin. As she remembered that night, she remembered the look in his eye, the warmth that radiated from him, the touch of his hand on her hip as his thumb rubbed small circles on her skin. She remembered wanting to kiss him, but did not want to take advantage of him in his drunken state of mind.
This three months locked away with him as his wife was her chance to prove to herself and him she could be a spouse, someone's significant other and it would not go away after a week or two. Over the years she had learned a lot from Booth, but one thing that she learned from him and her own study was that her feelings for Booth had been around for a long time and in all that time they never dissipated, they only grew.
Booth was replaying the scene that occurred 2 days prior in his head. He arrived home and without realizing it he was still wearing his faux wedding band. Hannah had seen it before he pulled it off. One thing led to another, her need to feel loved and his need to show her how much he loved her.
There he was making love to his girlfriend, the woman that helped him move on from Bones when it happened. She arched against him as he thrust into her. "Oh God baby, you feel so good."
"Seeley, Oh god yes … Right there … yes"
He buried his face in her collar bone when the perfume she was wearing cause his mind to drift, in his mind it was no longer Hannah's body beneath his, it was her. The feeling of her below him, her hips rising up to join his when he thrust deeply into her, her movement matching his movement bringing him to the brink "Oh God Bones"
"SEELEY!" He was propelled back to reality as the gravity of the three words that had spilled from his mouth sank in.
"Oh my God, Hannah." She was already off the bed and in the bathroom. "Please, I am so sorry." Tears threatened his eyes as he sat on the floor at the door and begged for her to come out and talk to him. He wanted to make it better, but he knew he couldn't, he could not fix this, he could not take the hurt he caused her away, he wasn't even sure at that moment why it happened.
After what seemed like hours Booth pulled himself off the floor and went and sat on the bed, he glanced at the night stand and there sat a bottle of perfume, the same perfume that Bones wore. It was then he realized Sweets was right he had never gotten over her. Hannah emerged from the bathroom, her eyes red rimmed and her faced blotched from crying. He didn't know what to say, how could he do this to her. She had been good to him, good for him. She didn't deserve this. "I will leave; you will have the place to yourself, stay as long as you like."
He has spent the next day alone sorting out his feelings, trying to decide what to do, when to do it and how to do it, without putting Brennan in full blow flight mode where he would not be able to get through to her and pull her back before she bolted. He knew this retreat was going to have to be where it happened. She was locked away with him for 3 months, they could solve a murder and fall in love. They never did anything the easy way anyway, why start now.
He didn't expect to see Hannah before him and Bones left and seeing her reminded him of how much pain he had caused her and put him in a sully mood. She had come by to return his apartment keys. Her words from this morning rang loud and clear in his mind. "You need to tell Temperance how you feel, make her listen. Don't give up so easy this time, she loves you, she just doesn't know how. I wish you the best." Then she was gone.
Booth thought about Hannah and their time together and although it ended the most horrible way it could end, it was only a matter of time before the relationship would have run its course. Booth was finally being honest with himself. He didn't love Hannah, not the way she deserved to be love. Maybe a different time or a different place, but he was a one woman man and that one woman was the most complicated, aggravating, and intriguing woman he had laid eyes on and she was sitting next to him. Now he just had to convince her that taking a chance on him was a good thing.
