Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Eva is owned by others that make more money than I do (People like Hideaki Anno and Gainax, for example).
However, I DO own this story. I wrote it for people to enjoy, not to plagiarize or sell for profit. Please do not claim it as your own, or try to make money off it. If you want to repost it, just send me an E-mail if you want to translate it or post it on your site.
Comments and Creative Criticism are always welcome. Please send all E-mail to: willz@wpi.edu. No flames - we are all better than that.


Thanks: Special thanks goes to numerous people. I appreciate all the help everyone gave me, and I appreciate their letting me pester them a lot. Special thanks to Aisu, Dr. Geoduck, Xylis, LittlePriest, Zel-ouki, Big__D, Thoth_of_ND, Sethra_lavode, LedZepFan, Gendo_ohki, Taloon, Beagle-san and Kyokki, to name a few.

Dictionary:
Ok - an explanation first: I like the way certain words sound in other languages, so I opted to use those words instead of the English equivalent. They are listed below. Note: Asuka DOES use German occasionally in the sub/dubs, so I am going to keep that up here.

The words/phrases:
hentai, ecchi and sukebe - pervert or perverted (Japanese).
Arschloch - A-Hole (German).
Mein Gott! - My GOD! (German)
Dummkopf - Idiot or moron - literally translated as "stupid head" (German).
Baka - idiot, moron or jerk. The MOST versatile word in Asuka's Japanese dictionary!
Gomen (or Gomen Nasai) - I'm sorry (Japanese)


Note: "chan" at the end of names is used as a familiar title, or one of affection, and "sama" or "san" are ones of respect: the first is very respected, the latter is respect as equals.

Note: There is a German phrase near the end. Asuka says it in English right after. Thanks Dr Geoduck for the German refresher and translations!

Now, Will Z Presents:


She's Got a Way About Her
A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction

Chapter Four: Confession?

Christmas was now only ten days away, and all seemed to be going well. The project was almost done: Asuka had opted to paint while Shinji built. When the whole thing was done, they would have about 30 pieces completed. With the pieces Rei and Kensuke, as well as the Class Rep and Touji had going, they would have at least 75 pieces. It seemed like Asuka and Shinji got the bad end of the deal, but in truth, they had it easier. They only needed to assemble animals, while the others had to assemble people. Fortunately, Hikari had borrowed a few old mannequins from a store near her apartment, or the job would have taken longer.

The general atmosphere of the group seemed improved as well. Shinji was smiling a lot more, and actually took a more active role in the project. Asuka didn't seem to be claiming Shinji was a baka as much: Instead she used sukebe, hentai and arschloch.

Rei didn't seem to change much to those at school, but to Hikari, the blue-haired Eva pilot seemed to spend a lot of time with the brown-haired military fanatic. Hikari was sure that it wasn't just based on the project, either, especially considering Rei's apathy to school in the past. Add in that she looked an awful lot at Kensuke, and you could almost guess what Rei was thinking. She even wore soft peach lipstick to school now, even if she did refrain from wearing any other type of makeup.

Kensuke was slowly changing too; the more time he spent around Rei, the calmer he became. Not to say that he was stoic, but when he talked about things, he didn't begin conversations with an exclamation, and the sound effects became less prominent the more time he spent in Rei's presence.

Touji, to Hikari's dismay, was still as clueless as ever, even when she made him a bento or asked for his help with some part of making the paper mache'. She remembered when he had dabbled a little bit of the paste onto her nose. She wanted to flirt with Touji, but was too shy to even THINK about it without blushing! She needed to form a plan to get the idiot to look at her.

Hikari stopped, annoyed with herself. She spent so much time with Asuka; Hikari found she was beginning to think like her friend! True, the two of them were similar, but she didn't want to think that calling someone you like an idiot was a good thing at all.

Touji WAS acting like an idiot this time though. Why couldn't she just come out and say what she felt for him?

Touji, on the other hand was still Touji. He was still playing sports, checking on his sister, and frustrated as all hell that Hikari hadn't followed up on his one well-placed chance to flirt with her. He dribbled the basketball and shot it over and over again, wondering why that little dab of paste hadn't made the impression he wanted.


Misato waited for her wards to return home from working on their project at Kensuke's house. She wasn't convinced that Shinji was actually enjoying the upcoming holidays, so she thought she would tell them that she was going to have Asuka and Shinji go to the Nerv Christmas party. Hopefully they would come home soon, so she could drag Asuka shopping for a new suit or three.

Misato was ecstatic, though; Shinji had seemed to do a turnaround in attitude too, and decided to call her plan to cheer him up a success. Also, the primary portions of the Geofront were almost done, save the decorations by the schools and the one giant surprise she had heard the engineers talking about at the cafeteria. Whatever it was, it was BIG and needed one of the Evas to move into place. She really hoped that whatever it was, that it wouldn't get her into too much trouble with the commander.

When WAS Asuka going to get home, anyways?


"I still think the pig looks a lot like you," Asuka said to Shinji playfully. "Isn't he pathetic looking?"

Shinji blinked, trying to see the resemblance between the lump of paper mache and his own face, "I don't look like..."

"And this sheep DEFINATELY looks like you, "She cooed, grinning slyly, "It has that scared look that says 'Shinji' in bold, neon letters!"

"Now, wait! I..." He began again, but Asuka was on a role.

"Now the bat looks ESPECIALLY like you!" She said, holding her hands together, "Oh, how he drives the girls crazy!"

"I do not look like a..." Shinji protested, until a though struck him, "Hey! We didn't make any bats!"

"Gotcha," Asuka said, pulling her right eyelid down as she stuck her tongue out at him.

She was still giggling as he picked himself up off the ground.

"I was thinking," Asuka said, after the giggles died down, "The Nerv Christmas party is going to be coming up."

"Mm." Shinji said, too annoyed to commit a comment.

"So," Asuka continued, "What if we were to so something nice for the two love birds?"

"Kensuke and Rei?" Shinji asked.

"No, you baka!" Asuka said, glaring at him, "I mean Hikari and Touji! You could offer to take Hikari, and I would take Touji, then when we got there, we could 'switch off' with them, and maybe then they'd finally get the incentive to kiss each other, if we put some mistletoe above the dance floor's center!"

It did sound like a good plan to Shinji, and he readily agreed. He wanted to help his clueless friend get closer to the girl that liked him and he liked back. If this worked, Shinji was sure that his friend's Christmas would be complete.


"You can't be serious!" Asuka complained, giving a look to Misato, "We already had this planned!" She gave Misato a look, though Misato wasn't paying attention to it. Asuka was about to start in again, until her guardian interrupted her.

"Do I have to make it an order?" She said, giving Asuka a level gaze.

Asuka stood there a moment, stunned into speechlessness. She had only wanted to go to this stupid party to help Hikari get Clueless Stooge, no matter how much she hated him. Now, she had to go with Shinji. Shinji who she...

She blinked as Misato grabbed her arm, dragging her out of the apartment.

"What," Asuka said, still stunned, "where are we going?"

"We're going shopping!" Misato replied, "You aren't going to a nice party dressed in that sundress of yours!"

As the apartment door closed, Asuka saw Shinji fish something out of his pocket, but couldn't be sure what it was. Misato didn't slow down so she could see, though: the purple-haired woman dragged her towards the elevator, no matter how hard she protested.


When Asuka and Misato left, Shinji saw his opportunity to wrap the gift that came in the mail today. The package was small enough to fit in his pocket, but still large enough to hold the box inside. He ripped open the brown envelope to gaze at the box it held.

Was it empty? Was it the wrong one? With trembling hands, he opened the little black velvet box.

Inside, nestled against a light green velvet lining was a delicate gold box-link chain. The chain was nice, but it wasn't what held his attention: That honor went to the small pendant in the middle: A heart made with small circular rubies. In the center of the heart was a smaller heart-shaped diamond.

Closing the box, Shinji sighed in relief. Now, all he had to do was get some wrapping paper and a gift card to complete the gift. He still didn't want to think about what he would have done if the pendant had been missing. Not only would it have been thirty thousand yen wasted, he wouldn't have time to get another one to replace it, he would have to confess to Asuka that he loved her on Christmas without any defense, which was something he was not strong enough to do. He almost thought that he should get down on one knee, but remembered that was more like proposing than giving someone a gift.

"Maybe I should just give it to her, and let her make up her own mind," He sighed. How WAS he going to give her the present?



Rei didn't know what to make of the situation. First Major Katsuragi asks her to put an Eva decoy dressed-up as Santa atop the pyramid to act like a star for it, and now, Commander Ikari wanted her to go to the Nerv party. That he wanted her to bring a guest with her was also complete surprise.

"Who should I bring, Sir?" She asked.

"Bring one of the children from school." He replied, waving dismissively, "Give one of them the treat of seeing the facilities." With that, he continued working on his report.

She was unsure what to think. Maybe she should refuse to go. She couldn't think of anyone that the commander would approve of, save his own son, but Ikari-kun was already going with Asuka.

She paused, blushing. There was always Kensuke. But would he want to go with her? She suddenly felt her cheeks flush deeper, as she pictured him holding her as they danced. It was... Nice... To think about being with Aida-san. She left the commander's office and headed topside. As she rode the elevator, she started to think of why she was thinking more about the third "stooge", as the other girls called him. She still didn't understand WHY they called any of them that, especially Kensuke. He was nice, and reminded her a lot of BOTH the Commander and Ikari-kun.

Aida-san was smart, as well; He could recall information at a moment's notice, and took great pains to make sure he did things smoothly and efficiently, so there was no need to do them again. He was also resourceful. How many other people know that, if you put a little cornstarch into glossy paint, it takes away the glossiness?

She thought about what the commander said: She could bring anyone she wanted to the party. She should bring someone else to the party, but the thought of how hurt Aida-san would be kept pushing itself to the forefront.

Did she want to ask anyone else, anyways? The answer came to her quickly: No. She only wanted to go with him to the party, and since Ikari-kun and Asuka were there, it might even be acceptable.

Now, all she had to do was decide what outfit she was going to wear.



"Do you really think this is necessary?" Fuuyutsuki asked his commanding officer after the First Child left. "The whole thing could just be speculation."

"Not this time." Gendou replied, "Did you notice that she was wearing lipstick?"

The older man looked at the younger in surprise; he hadn't paid that much attention to the appearance of the First.

"It won't do," Gendou replied, the frown deepening on his face, "I need her to be COMPLIANT to me, or why even bother with the rest of the plan? If the key doesn't work, the door won't open - no matter how hard we knock."

"You make it sound like it's all cut-and-dried."

"Is it not? I am not going to take any actions, as of yet; I need to know WHERE she stands, so I know which one of the forks in the prophecy I must take."

"Then why not do it now?"

"Too risky - there would not be any way to cover it up - the angel... If I send her at the right time, then the angel will give me the opportunity I need."

"Are you even going to tell me which, old friend?" Fuuyutsuki asked.

"No." came the reply from Gendou.

"Why?"

"If I did, then it would involve you deeper into the old men's schemes. I need you ignorant enough that you won't catch their eye. I will explain soon, though."

"As you say, old friend."



Shinji stared at Asuka for what had to be the seventh time in as many minutes. She wore a simple red dress, but she looked stunning in it. Amazingly, she refrained from wearing her Eva headset with her dress, and he couldn't help but stare at how much nicer it made her hair frame her face.

She didn't seem to notice, though, as her attention seemed to be on the older Nerv employees at the bar. He looked over to see Misato hanging off Kaji, while ordering another round of drinks for herself and her support.

"Would you like anything to eat?" He asked weakly, trying to get her to say anything. He wished Kensuke and Rei would show up soon.

"I'm fine," She said, looking at Kaji sadly. If there was ever a time he knew she was lying, it was now. It must have hurt her to see Kaji with Misato, almost as much as it hurt him to see her still pining for the scruffy Nerv agent.

He politely excused himself, but she didn't seem to hear, so he just made his way over to the bar to get them some soft drinks. He looked at the buffet, but refrained for now, since he really wasn't quite in the mood to eat yet.

He looked up at the ceiling, and noticed that someone HAD put some mistletoe above the center of the dance floor. If anyone went under it, they'd have to kiss. He sighed. It WOULD have been a good idea to use on Touji and Hikari, IF Misato hadn't forced them to pair up. Now, Asuka wasn't treating it like a date; instead, she seemed to treat it like an inconvenience.

With a sigh, he returned to his chair with the drinks. Asuka took hers, and stared at its surface. She was probably counting the bubbles as they broke the beverage's surface.

The silence stretched, broken only by the sounds of the background music and the laughter from those at the bar. It seemed that Misato and Kaji were chugging beers, with the onlookers chanting for them to drink faster. Seconds later, Misato slammed her can to the bar, followed by Kaji. She grinned and gave Kaji a kiss. Shinji looked over at Asuka, who was clutching her drink as if it were Misato's throat.

Without warning, Asuka dragged him to the dance floor, and began dancing. She started off unsure of herself, but as the music played, she seemed to get into it more. Shinji gulped, and tried to imitate her, since he had never really danced before. This seemed to release some tension from Asuka as she started showing him some dance steps.

The song changed from Pop to Classical, which didn't bother Asuka one bit. She grabbed hold of his hands, and showed him how to do a simple waltz. By the time the music ended, he was pretty confident he wouldn't step on her toes as much next time.

The next song though was slower than a waltz. Asuka blinked and would have gone back to the table if Shinji hadn't asked her to show him how to dance. Asuka began scowling, but she looked over at Kaji with that sad look in her eyes, deciding to stay.

"No funny business," she muttered, as she put his hands on her waist, causing him to blush. She put her arms around his shoulders, and began showing him the few simple steps involved in the dance.

After what seemed heartbeats, the music stopped, and they broke from each other. He turned to see that Kensuke and Rei were at their table, both holding drinks, and looking uncomfortable. He turned to look at Asuka, who was still gazing at the drinking couple of Misato and Kaji.

With a sigh, he went over to Kensuke and Rei, somehow managing to get them away from the table to join them on the dance floor. Fortunately, Kensuke knew how to dance, and Rei was a quick learner, so when they danced, neither stepped on either's feet. He was envious that Rei didn't make a single screw-up, where he had thought Asuka was going to deck him for stepping on her toes every other step.

Shinji turned his attention back to Asuka, and saw she still looked at the drunken pair at the bar. He went over to her, and offered his hand to her.

"Would you like to dance?" he said, fear clutching his throat. She turned to look at him, blinking in surprise. She took his hand, and he walked over near Rei and Kensuke. She put her hands behind his neck as he put his hands on her waist.


Rei watched her fellow pilots dance with fascination. They seemed to be extremely nervous, but neither of them would let go, either. As the song progressed, she watched them get closer to each other, seemingly without realizing it. She contemplated a moment, then mimicked them, drawing her dancing partner a little closer. Kensuke tensed a moment, but after that, he relaxed and pulled her a tiny bit closer.

She kept watching them pull each other closer. Both Ikari-kun and Asuka had their eyes closed, as they danced nearer to each other. Asuka had her hands wrapped around him more, and she could see that his hands were almost touching.

As the song continued, the pair drifted further away from herself and her partner, which brought her attention back to him. Kensuke was looking nervously at the ceiling for some unfathomable reason. When she asked him what he was looking at, he assured her that it wasn't anything to worry about.

Rei pulled herself a little closer to Kensuke, and she could almost hear him gulp over the music. The music was a soothing tune similar to the one she sang with Kensuke, which made her think of her dates with him. She thought of how nice he had smiled at her, and how, in retrospect, she would like for him to smile like that for her again. He wore such a look of nervousness that she was almost expecting him to run away if she said anything.

She glanced over his shoulder at the bar patrons, and noted that Maya seemed to be holding a branch over the doctor's head, then laughed and gave the doctor a peck on the cheek. The doctor laughed and grabbed another drink, but not before messing up the other woman's hair. She turned away from the scene, and wondered why she kept pulling herself closer to her dance partner.


Shinji hadn't said one word to Asuka the whole time they danced. The music continued, and he found that he was reluctant to let her go. He was surprised when Asuka pulled him towards her a little bit more each time. He couldn't see where they were dancing, and he didn't care. He could now feel the red dress against him, and he gulped. Her breathing was just like it was those nights he couldn't sleep, but now it was real. She was next to him, and he could feel her breath on his neck.

He couldn't stand it any more. He opened his eyes.

Asuka was staring back at him, azure eyes glistening with as much surprise as he felt. On impulse, he looked up.

They were in the middle of the dance floor.

Shinji wondered if his face was as flushed as it felt, as he looked at the mistletoe above him and Asuka.

He looked away from the holiday decoration, and back at his dancing partner, only to see she was looking at him as her face turned crimson. He could feel her trembling, or was that him shaking? He couldn't tell.

"Kiss her!" He heard from the bar. He turned to see Hyuuga standing on the bar, giving him a "v" with his fingers.

Shinji wished he could crawl under the floor and die.

"Go on! Kiss her!" Misato whooped, then kissed Kaji passionately to show them how it was done.

He looked at Asuka, and she turned to him, fear etched on her face.

"Gomen!" He heard her say at the same moment he did.


Rei looked on, confused. One minute Ikari-kun and Asuka were almost embracing each other, and the next they broke away from each other. She watched the redhead run towards the bathroom, while Shinji raced out the door. She found herself wishing they hadn't danced near the stereo equipment, so she could have heard what happened. Her partner tensed, and she brought her attention back to him, her other friends forgotten in the moment.



Asuka snuck back into the apartment, not even bothering to put on her slippers at the door. She wanted to go right into her room and take off the damned dress before she screamed. The whole way home, the dress and her shoes seemed to want to trip her. After the second time she almost fell, she took off the shoes, tossed them in the street, and walked home in her nylons.

At least she got out of the party without too much fuss: The soberest person there seemed to be Kaji, but only by a margin of a few beers or so. Misato was clinging to him and sleeping, and both Maya and Ritsuko were laughing at the plastic cup atop Hyuuga's head.

Asuka found herself thinking about the project. Now that it was done, She wished that she could return to working on the animals, but sadly, they had been packed away for transport to the Geofront, to be set up by the old man that tended the flowers. Hopefully the settings would be ready for the Christmas Day tours.

She sighed, shaking her head. Why did things always get so complicated? Why couldn't things just go the way SHE wanted them to? First Kaji the letch, and now...

With her eyes blurring, she raced to her room, trying to sort out the jumble in her mind.


Rei looked at her escort, puzzled as to why Kensuke wanted to walk her home after the party. He seemed edgy to her, and she still didn't know why. The walk home had been silent, which was unusual, considering that Kensuke had a tendency to talk.

She stopped, looking at her door. Kensuke was next to her, looking even more uncomfortable than he was before. She was about to say something, when he suddenly closed his eyes, and made his lips connect with hers. She tried to puzzle out what was happening, as he brought his arms around her. Unconsciously, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

She closed her eyes, almost hearing in her mind the music playing like it had when they danced.

After a time, she broke away from him, still confused.

"Why did you do that?" She asked him, still unsure of what happened. Maybe he could explain this type of dancing to her better.

"Well," Kensuke said, he looked even more uncomfortable. "Well, I kissed you... Well... Because..." suddenly he held up the sprig of foliage Maya had been holding, "It is a rule that, when a boy sees a girl under mistletoe, they have to kiss. Rules are rules."

"I see," she said, looking at him with unblinking eyes. He seemed to become edgier than he was before, if that could be possible. Maybe he was expecting her to say something else?

"I... Had fun... Tonight." She said cautiously, looking for a response from him.

Kensuke relaxed a bit, giving her a wan smile.

"I had fun tonight, too." He replied, "So, I'll see you at school?"

"Yes," she said, "Good night, Aida-san."

"Good night, Rei."

She opened the door, entered the apartment, and leaned on the door to close it. With her hand, she traced where his lips had met hers, wondering why her lips still tingled.



Kensuke calmly turned back the way he came, after looking at Rei's door for a few minutes. Did she like the kiss? Did she hate it? Was she going to kill him, or worse: send ASUKA to kill him? He still couldn't believe he had done it, but it had felt so RIGHT, that he just had to! He began walking away, but the butterflies that he thought would go away just kept getting worse, the more he thought about the kiss.

In moments, he was heading into a nearby alley, his stomach trying to expunge the butterflies in a rather hasty fashion.


Shinji awoke feeling great, even though he hadn't slept much. He was actually going to give Asuka her Christmas present today, and, if all went well, she would actually return his feelings.

He felt like bursting. Should he give it to her before arriving at the school? After leaving school? During their wait for the busses? He thought about it, and came to the conclusion that the best time to give it to her was when she was off guard; meaning right before they got on the bus that would take them to the Geofront; that way, he could give it to her and sit somewhere else, if her reaction wasn't positive.

It could work. It WOULD work. It HAD to work! He could feel the panic trying to take over again, but he squashed it down with an effort. Shinji clenched his fist and pulled himself out of the bed. Breakfast wasn't going to cook itself, and he didn't trust Misato's cooking enough to risk food poisoning on such an important day.

The day's routine was pretty standard fare again, with him making food for his roommates, and getting the day's lunches ready. Unlike the normal routine, though, he greeted each of them with a cheery smile as he put the food on each plate. He barely noticed the odd looks that each gave him.

The walk to school was quiet, but he didn't mind. He knew now that Asuka must have felt something for him, especially after the incident at the party. Shinji didn't blame her, though; he had panicked and ran out to avoid being put on the spot like that. Fortunately, Misato had been too plastered to remember any of it, and Asuka hadn't attempted to smack him for attempting something hentai, so it still looked promising.

Shinji looked up to the sky to see that clouds were starting to roll in from the west. The thought of rain didn't faze him, though; he actually liked the rain, especially since it had been months since the last drizzle.

It seemed everyone from the classes was here, too. Every class was outside, milling about in their casual clothes. It looked unusual to Shinji, who was so used to seeing everyone in school uniform, that the cascade of color and cut to each outfit seemed almost jarring.

The teachers started herding the students into the classrooms, since the busses were running late and the weather seemed to be degrading. Shinji had anticipated this, so he was glad he brought along his bag, so he could use his datapad, if need be.

This gave him an idea. If he was lucky, he could write up a nice card with a poem for Asuka while waiting for the buses to arrive. He sat at his desk, turned on the computer and began thinking of what to write.


Asuka was annoyed. Shinji wasn't looking over her way at all! She wanted to ask him something, but he seemed too absorbed in typing to pay attention. She decided to send him a message.

Helloooo! Earth to Shinji!

Asuka was hoping that the dummkopf would respond, when she saw her screen finally flashed, indicating she had a message. Satisfied that he wasn't completely spacing on her, she went to read his response.

To Asuka:

I look at you
and all I see
is a dream so close, and yet
you're out of reach.

Asuka blinked. Shinji WAS spacing out! She returned to watching more lines appear on the screen.

I touch your hand
and still I feel
that the warmth that is there is not for me.
I look into your eyes
and i feel the warmth of your smile
yet why don't you ever smile that way
when I want you to be happy?

She could feel the heat go up her cheeks as she read, wondering what the hell he was doing, writing this to her. Hypnotized by the words, she read on.

I hear your voice
and all I know
is I would give the world to hear you laugh once more.
I hold your hand
and yet I feel
that I might have lost the thing I held so dear.

She felt nervous all of a sudden. Why did he write this for her? All she ever did to him was call him an idiot of one sort or another, and accused him of being hentai! Why? She looked around, to se if anyone was looking.

I look away from your eyes
I don't deserve your smiles
but still, is it too much to ask
to see you smile for me?

To her dismay, Hikari looked over at her, and grinned when she saw Asuka's computer.

"It... It's not what you think," Asuka said, trying to cover the letter with her hands, causing the other kids next to her to turn and look. Shinji was still oblivious: He must be really trying to write something to...

"Sure it's not," Hikari teased, an impish look on her face. Asuka could feel the flush rise past her cheeks to her scalp. Everyone nearby was staring at her.

Asuka began to panic. What WAS Shinji trying to do to her, anyways? She let out a nervous titter. Slowly, the small laugh grew until Asuka had tears in her eyes.

"Shaut mal, Kumpels!" She said between bouts of laughter "Volltrottel Shinji Sucht Sex! Wird es ihm gelingen, ICH DENKE NICHT!"

The whole class was looking at her, even Shinji. She stopped laughing a moment before speaking through.

"What?" She said, looking at the other students, then realized she hadn't said it in Japanese. Grinning she pointed to her datapad, and began again, "Hey Guys! Shinji the moron is looking for sex! Will he succeed? I DON'T THINK SO!"

Once the words left her mouth, she watched Shinji get out of his chair and run out of the room.


Shinji raced off, barely aware of his settings. The music played over the loudspeaker, the only other sound besides his breath and his sneakers hitting the floor at each step. The music taunted him, as he tried to push it out of his mind. The lyrics to "We wish you a merry Christmas" contrasted too well with his thoughts of Asuka, and what just happened.

He fell, skidding to a halt against the doors to the school. Picking himself up, he reached into his pocket, took out the gift - the pendant that he had put all his hopes into, and threw it into the trash. Opening the door, he raced out into the rain, running as hard as he could.


She hates me! She hates me!

Shinji was out of breath quickly. It was all a lie. She had only acted like she cared for him to her friends.

She hates me! She hates me!

He collapsed, panting hard as the rain pelted him. Usually he liked the rain, but now... Now he wasn't sure.

She hates me! She hates me!

He wanted to cry, to show the world all the anger and hurt and frustration he felt all at once, but the rain denied him.

She hates me! She hates me!

The litany continued in his head, bringing him to his knees. Everything denied him. Even the one he loved more than anything in the world.

The rain continued to fall on him, concealing the tears that flowed down his cheeks.


Kensuke looked at Rei, and nodded to her. Almost as one, they got up from their seats and pursued the distraught boy. They both took off towards the main entrance, knowing full well that Shinji was probably heading home. It was doubtful if they would catch Shinji or not, but even if they closed enough for him to hear, maybe he'd calm down enough to talk to them. He held on to that thought as they raced through the hallway.

Luck was with them; Shinji had slipped near the entrance to the school, giving them a chance to catch up enough for them to see him toss something red into the wastebasket. Without any sign that he saw them, he raced off into the pouring rain.

Kensuke stopped at the wastebasket as Rei looked out the door, trying to see which way Shinji had run off. From the way Rei stayed still, he guessed Shinji had disappeared into the rainfall.

With their chase for naught, Kensuke figured he'd see what it was that Shinji had thrown away. He opened the lid, and saw the only thing in the bucket.

A small box, wrapped in red with a small gold bow and tag was on its side, waiting to be picked up by the custodian on the next school day. He reached in, grabbed the small box, and read the tag.

To: Asuka. Love: Shinji.

Kensuke felt sorry for his friend, but he felt angrier with the redhead that upset Shinji: She had known that Shinji had it bad for her, so why did she do this to him? Looking up, he frowned, giving Rei the small present. Rei looked at the gift's tag and frowned. Without another word, she clenched the gift in her hand, and stalked back towards the room. Kensuke followed, hoping he could get a few shots in on the demon girl that had hurt and humiliated his friend so badly.


Asuka sat at her desk, resting her head on her arms ignoring the chatter around her. How could she have been so stupid? Shinji hadn't meant for her to see what he had been writing, so why didn't she just minimize the window to keep any prying eyes from seeing those words, even herself? Did she WANT him to say those things to her? Did she want nothing else but to... No... She didn't want him out of her life. She found herself depending on him for more than his ability to pilot or his cooking and cleaning skills. She found that she needed him in a way she never expected.

And now? Now she had effectively humiliated and crushed the only person that had ever seen her as herself.

Calling herself several types of fool, she just sat there, head down, listening to the end of some cheery Christmas song. She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up.

Rei was there, looking down at her with a blank look on her face. Her eyes showed a fire Asuka had never expected the blue-haired pilot to have.

"Ikari-kun left. He threw this in the trash." Rei said; her expression unchanged as she handed the small box to Asuka.

Asuka saw Kensuke looking at her with the same expression. Turning herself away from the accusing stares, she looked at the simple gold tag.

To: Asuka. Love: Shinji.

Asuka's hands trembled as she raced out of the room.

She made her way to the closest bathroom, her hands clenched on the gift. She opened the door, going into the first stall. She was glad that the stall's partitions went from floor to ceiling.

Hesitating a minute, she just stared at the tiny cube and its gold ribbon, before tearing the paper off and discarding it on the floor.

Her fingers wouldn't work as she tried to open the little white box. When she finally was able to discard it, she held the velvet case in her trembling hands. After almost dropping it several times, she opened it up...

And her face crumpled in anguish, as she looked on the delicate pendant of a diamond heart outlined with rubies.

Asuka ran her finger along the thin box-link chain, then along the perimeter of the pendant.

What have I done? She screamed at herself, wishing there was something - anything - that she could do to change it. As she berated herself, the PA began to play "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," mocking her.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.

It was too late now. She had finally succeeded in pushing Baka Shinji away from her, only to realize that she hadn't really wanted to.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on our troubles will be miles away.

And now, he hated her. She knew it in the depths of her soul.

Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more.

Asuka's tears fell, running down the chain and pendant she held in her hand, but she didn't care. She was alone, now: No one to comfort her, no one to listen to her and no one to make it better with a kind word or a smile.

Asuka cried as the music continued to play on, uncaring.


*** OMAKE STUFF! ***

Below is a scene I WOULD have liked to keep, but my pre-readers talked me out
of it. I STILL wanted this scene in the fic though, in one way, shape or form, so, for
those that want to read what I initially had: Go back to "the kiss" and replace the line
where Rei says "I see", all the way up to the Kensuke POV switch.

"I see," She said, looking through the lie. She noticed Ikari-kun and Asuka
didn't kiss, and Maya and the doctor were not male and female for starters. She didn't
care though, as she put the piece of mistletoe over his head, "Then I must kiss you. Rules
ARE rules."

Rei didn't know when she had dropped the mistletoe, but if they hadn't trampled
it so badly dancing on her doorstep, she might have been inclined to keep it.

***