Title: Words To Be Shared

Author: Sofipitch

Disclaimer: Arakawa wouldn't be writing for this strange crack pairing.

Claim: Anti-Ship Table

Prompt: 3, Apathy

Characters: Envy, Winry, Edward, Alphonse, and mentions of others (Envy/Winry, Edwin)

Word Count: 14,511

Rating: PG-13

Summary/Warning: major character death, bondage, adult themes, and cursing (and an insane Envy)

The funny thing was, was that the same thing she had laughed at when she had seen Maria carting one of those cheesy romance novels. Stockholm syndrome had always seemed like something stupid that only belonged in books and novels. Weird crazy things like that didn't happen in real life, people just don't do that. Your captor is someone you fear, someone you hate, someone who is threatening your life for money or some other ransom. You don't feel sorry for them. Such thing had always seemed like complete bogus to Winry.

It happened so quickly. Well, maybe not. Maybe it was something that went on for a long time without her noticing. But for whatever the reason, it soon dawned on her: she felt sorry for him. This creature, whom was threatening her best friends with her life, made her pity him.

She hadn't started off pitying him. The original idea had been a plan for escape. She would make it to where it seemed in his eyes that she cared for him. And she would slowly become more a friend in his eyes than his "pet". She had no other means of fighting her way out, she had already tried, and ended up with what felt like a broken arm. It was a stupid plan, but it was the only one she knew of that would work. But the problem with her plan is that it ended up back firing and having an effect she hadn't been anticipating. With dire consequences on her behalf and that of others.

-X-

She studied him, trying to come up with something. A crack in his resolve, a small blemish on his past, something that she could manipulate to her advantage. There had to be some sort of traumatic event that made him the way he was now. He wasn't just magically born hating humans, little Wrath was proof of that. There had to be some crack that would allow her to help him change. But first she had to figure out what about him was different. What happened to him for him to reach such bouts of insanity.

As she pondered on his question, the most subtle of hints towards the birth of his insanity came one day when he decided to rant about how useless humans were.

"…all you know how to do is cower in fear. You can't defend yourselves, can't sustain yourselves, and can't clean up your own messes. If you screw up, it's okay, you can just leave your mistake down in the basement alone and starving. It'll die and you'll never have to look at it again, right?"

He stared her right in the eye when he said this, and behind the insanity of his warped expression, she saw the slightest bit of abandonment lurking in the set of his jaw and at the corners of his eyes. She softened in realization of this, and when he saw her studying him, he hardened. He towered over her, now expecting an answer to what she thought had been a rhetorical question.

She tried to back away from him, her back flattening itself against the stone wall of her cell. She panicked, looking around her, wondering if there were any escape from the monster, but he had her cornered. She looked back up at him, fear practically radiating off of her. She shook her head, her long hair catching in the uneven of the brick wall behind her.

He squinted his eyes in anger and hatred, but she saw his jaw relax just the slightest. He pushed her head back against the wall, and just before turning to leave, she saw it again, the abandonment. He spun on his heel and she listened as he clicked all the locks to her cell closed.

Click, click, click. Three locks. Three little pieces of metal and one sadistic lunatic were all that were keeping her away from the rest of the world. She relaxed her body once she was sure he was gone, letting herself slouch and slowly make her way down to resting on the ground.

She needed to get out of there. She fell asleep crying and dreaming of eyes of molten gold, eyes she feared she might never see again.

-X-

Every day, three times a day, he would come downstairs and give her a meal. Normally the food consisted of porridges and stews. On some rare occasions she would be allowed soups. They weren't good nor did they have a pleasing taste, but nor were they bad and disgusting. They were bland foods, never served too hot or too cold, but at room temperature.

Envy would wait until she was finished before taking her plate and leaving. Most of the time he didn't say anything to her. Sometimes he made a comment, and sometimes struck up a full-fledged conversation, but he never said anything of importance or anything that would give hint to where she was. One time, when he served her a dish containing mushrooms—and she hates mushrooms with a passion—he made comment that she shouldn't disrespect her cooking. This gave her hint to that he wasn't the one making the meals but another, obviously female, entity whom she guessed lived with him.

(That day she had expected for him to force her to eat the mushroom stew. She expected him to shove her face in it and make her eat every last drop, but he didn't. He simply scowled and let out a string of insults, but didn't force her to eat the unwanted food.)

-X-

There were times she heard yelling. There would be a female—sometimes male, but mostly female—voice arguing with Envy. There would be yelling, and then she would hear ceramic items being thrown and broken.

Sometimes once the fight had ceased Envy would come into her cell and take his anger out on her. Whether it was with words or with blows to her body, it didn't matter. It all still hurt all the same. He never hurt her too badly though, someone superior to him wouldn't allow her being hurt. Envy made it clear the first time why she had been spared.

After he finished, sometimes, not all the time, she would momentarily be able to see the mass murder disappear and she would see someone who looked to her very sad and alone. But as quickly as the look would come, it would leave and annoyance—which she believed to be his default emotion—would take its place.

She knew she had to stop pitying him, he already noticed her watching him once, a second time wouldn't be very good. But, from the moment she saw it, the doctor in her—the one that made her become an automail mechanic in the first place—made her feel enough compassion towards the twisted creature that she wanted to help him. The only problem for her would be how to do it.

-X-

After he hurt her physically, he always dressed her injuries. He wound them carefully in soft suave and always applied some kind of herbal remedy to open wounds. The concoctions always smelled terrible, and she had once seen Envy make a disgusted face while opening one of particularly strong odor, but they always healed her as good as new. It seemed what those herbs could do to her body were almost magical. Envy said that they were the only reason he was allowed to hit her.

-X-

Sometimes he talked to her. She would ask him questions and he would answer them, sometimes as he would a normal question, and sometimes in riddles. He had a poetic yet grotesque way of talking. Which one he chose to use varied with each situation; sometimes he would mix the two types of talking and make it as if you were hurting him yet he was taking pleasure out of you all at the same time. When she asked him questions was when his ruthless cursing and fine vocabulary would mingle together to create something so distinctively him. This eventually led her to believe whomever he had been as a human had come from the upper class of society.

She could barely remember how the conversation was started, it seems he mentioned on of his accomplices, a woman named Lust. He had mentioned how dirty and disgusting her work was, having to touch those humans. She didn't know why she asked, anyone whom she didn't want touching her touching her had always been one of her greatest fears, but she just had to ask. He was evil, a sadist, he liked to torture. And people like that raped their victims. So of course her big trap opened and she asked him if he did. It had only been reasonable.

He seemed shocked when she asked the question, as if it was the last thing he had expected to come out of her mouth. And his expression remained that way, completely frozen, till slowly but surely, a pompous smile slowly spread across his face. He moved closer to her, and she felt herself scooting as far away from him as you could, flattening your back against the cold concrete wall. His body is a fair distance away, but he cranes his neck and his face moves closer towards hers, she fears he might kiss her, but instead he whispers in her ear. "Why are you interested? You couldn't possibly be a masochist could you?"

She shakes her head furiously, trying to come up with an explanation for as to why she had asked such thing, but she didn't even know the reason herself. "No, I didn't mean that. I just thought, but then you said, and I was confused." She presses her lips together and rolls them inwards, hoping that if he does try to kiss her, their absence would prevent that.

He smirks at her, his tongue against the backs of his teeth, before chucking. His laughter was a deep throaty sound that reminded her of smoke curling around the air before expanding outwards. She wondered if he had been a smoker, but them dismissed the idea since no damage would come to his body from such thing. It would automatically fix any damage cause by the smoke, so his voice wouldn't have been affected. Then it came to mind that he was a shape shifter and he could chose his appearances, including his voice. The question of why chose such an odd distinctive voice came to mind, but she decided she may ask him that one later. If she got out of this situation okay. "I hope whatever I'm guessing your saying is right, since if I explain my reasoning and I wasn't, you're going to end up with a lot of information you probably didn't care for."

She swallows in nervousness at this comment. If it is information she doesn't want, then why does he tell it to her? She wants to ask him this also, but her mouth is dry and her tongue remains a useless piece of muscle in her mouth. She wonders if this is an omen from whatever deity that was watching her from above to keep her mouth shut and making sure she didn't anger Envy.

"The only times I use my sexuality is when I get Lust's job overflow or as a form of torture. Sometimes, when Lust is working, she realizes that the person she is trying to seduce is not of her sexual inclination. The males will either be homosexual or the females she believed she could woo into homosexuality, didn't end up being wooed. Lust is gorgeous, but sometimes you humans can be so damn difficult as to not fall for that. Some spill all information needed with one fuck. Some want "long-term" relationships to spill their guts or just aren't entertained enough with Lust. I'm a shape shifter. I can be anyone they want, so if Lust can't win them over, I'm sent in."

The idea that Envy had just admitted to having sex with other men made Winry's stomach twist. It hadn't been the confession she had been expecting. She had expected something sadistic that would have her looking behind her back every few minutes for the rest of her life. Or something deeply personal; something that would allow her to know more about the sin. Although she wasn't sure why she'd be interested, especially since topics including sex could sometimes make her feel extremely self-conscious.

"The only other time I fuck," Envy continued, "is used for torture. If my pet isn't cooperating to other forms, I use rape as my last resort." He gave her a cruel demeaning smile. "But they are always sure to submit after that."

She felt, that if she just stopped talking now, it would show too much fear. That he would see that weakness. So she went ahead and asked her next question. As dangerous as it was, she preferred to do that rather than let him watch her cower in fear. She wanted him to see she could be more than just his 'pet'. "You don't sound as if you take much enjoyment out of it."

Once again, it seemed it took him a little while to register what he had said, but when he did, he scowled and gave her a long observant look. His lips went thin and his mouth turned downwards. Her eyes narrowed. "And why would you believe that?"

Her legs were dangling off of the cot in which they were both sitting. She pulled them towards her chest and crossed her ankles. She bit her lip trying to think of a way to explain her way of thinking. "You just don't seem to talk about it as…as heavily as some might."

"Explain."

She licked her lips and her eyes furrowed in concentration. "You said last resort, not "saved for some special captive" or something like that. Something that would clue me into the fact that you like what you are doing. And I guess, you did say that Lust work is disgusting, 'touching those ghastly humans'."

His expression barely changed, save for the sardonic grin on his face. "What crime novels have you been reading? You are very good at connecting the dots, I'll give you that much." And then that was it. He got up from where he was sitting on the cot and left the cell, locking to door behind him.

He didn't like touching humans. It was either for some vain reason, or he was afraid of touch. It was the first real break through on how to possibly win him over. Something had happened, someone had touched him in a way for him to feel the need to permanently shun any pleasure from the sense a way from himself. Although the thought of trying to make Envy friendly with herself with touch, seemed like a dangerous idea to approach the sin by, and not really one she wanted to try herself.

-X-

It seemed after their talk about touch, he began appearing more often. He came to spend time with her, and she felt the intimate talk had moved them up to the point where they could trust each other better. Although she didn't illusion herself into thinking she would be getting out any time soon. She knew he didn't trust her enough to let her go yet; she was still his prisoner. But she was also pretty sure he didn't define her as 'pet' anymore, but she couldn't really be sure about that.

Envy would sometimes mention coworkers of his from time to time. He mentioned a Lust, who he considered to be 'descent company' and a dog named Gluttony. (Envy had described him as not being a dog, rather a homunculus, but failed to refer to him as anything else.) There was Wrath, whom she already knew, and a Greed, who had already died and managed to ring a bell, but Winry couldn't put her finger on who he really was. There was also a Sloth, whom he had mentioned once, looked at her in bewilderment and then never mentioned again for unknown reasons, and finally a Pride, who he never saw nor cared about. He said the only words he shared with Pride were ones of disagreement and argument, so he mostly steered clear of him. Then of course there was Wrath, whom when she asked about him, Envy claimed to be an annoying little shit who was always climbing on top of him and Sloth.

Envy barely ever talked highly of any of them, with the rare exception of Lust, she was pretty sure he hated whoever this Greed person was but she felt delighted to be able to know more about him. It felt knowing them people he worked with on a daily basis felt more intimate and personal. She felt she knew him very well now, but there was still one person he never mentioned to her, and that was the woman she always heard him fighting with. She knew it wasn't Lust who he was fighting with due to the way he talked about her.

She asked him once about this mysterious person. Unease clouded his eyes and a scowl twisted upon his mouth. "That is of none of your concern," was the only thing he had to say to make her know to drop the topic. She never asked him about that woman again.

-X-

Progressively, Winry could hear more and more fights between Envy and a woman from down in her cell. She could hear the yelling and screaming and the vases being thrown to the ground. Hearing it scared her, because it reminded her so much of who Envy really was. He wasn't brutal with her anymore; if not for the fights, she might've completely forgotten he was that way and brutality was of his nature. And she knew she could not let herself become delusional and not allow herself to see his true colors, as well hidden from her as they were.

But she could feel something nagging in the back of her mind: a pity for him. But she chose to try to ignore it. She didn't believe such thing could be real. She was still his prisoner, and every night she went to bed reminding herself of this. Making sure she stuck to her plan. She missed her grandmother, the Elric brothers, and any familiar face she could think of. She had to get out and get back to them.

-X-

After a few months of fighting pitying him, her fight became futile upon a revelation made in one conversation.

He had come downstairs angry, but he had not been fighting with that woman he usually did. She could see streaks of blood painting his body and felt instantly terrified. But he didn't advance towards hurting her as he had usually done in the past. Ever since they had drawn closer he no longer came to see her after fighting upstairs. But this she felt was different, she hadn't heard a single noise earlier except for him stomping down the halls. He had fought outside.

The Elric brothers dashed to her mind and she felt her heart stop. She knew they were enemies, if not there would be no need for them to capture her, but she had to hope that the blood splattered on Envy and still dripping from his hair wasn't theirs.

Envy entered the room and began pacing around. Every once in a while, he would look at her, but then go back and continued his path around the floor. He muttered under his breath, quiet and scowling, sometimes breath hitching on certain words. But she couldn't make out a word he uttered to save her life. She simply sat on the cot in front of him and waited for him to address her.

Then abruptly, he stopped, muttered something, screamed something, and then punched the concrete wall in front of him. Winry winced at the noise of his flesh hitting it with such force. Red alchemical light soon enveloped his hand, healing any injury made from the brash move before she even had time to see it. He didn't turn around, he just stood there facing the wall. His hand hadn't even moved from its position against the concrete.

"Envy?" she whispered.

He slowly removed his hand from where it had been resting previously. He didn't turn around to face her. "You asked a while back to know who the woman I always fight with is." His voice didn't sound as it usually did. It was completely neutral, it had no emotion in it whatsoever. "Most of the time I just refer to her by 'Master', for she is the one who stands over all the homunculi, but if you want to be technical you could also say that a long time ago she was my mother."

She was surprised to know that Envy even had a mother, but then dismissed the emotion. It wasn't that he had a mother, he had said she had used to be his mother. "What do you mean?"

He still remained with his back turned toward her. She could see his fist clench from where it rested at his side. "Homunculi, we weren't always this way. She was the mother of the person I was before I became a homunculus."

"And you don't refer to her as your mother?" She felt herself biting her lip in nervousness.

"She still does. I don't."

"And why not?"

"Because," he turned around and she could see anger and malice lighting up his eyes. She felt herself flinch as he got closer. "I'm not him. Never have been, never will be. And I won't, I refuse to pretend and go around parading as him!" He very practically screeched the last part.

She sat still on her cot, refusing to move a single muscle in her body. He stood there in front of her, panting from the shouts he had given. He stared right into her eyes, and she made sure to do the same. When in encounters with wild animals, the one who adverts their eyes first is the one who is receptive towards being attacked. The wisest thing to do is to stay completely still and let them leave on their own. Her grandmother had always been warning her of the dangers of the animals that lay beyond the tree line of the creek that ran towards the south. Winry had never really encountered something too terribly dangerous in those woods, and those that she did most of the time were more terrified of her than she was of them. She never would've imagined an inhuman creature Edward and Alphonse had managed to uncover would be the greatest threat she ever faced.

She did not know how much time passed before he turned around and left her cell, but during the minutes that passed, she felt recognition pass his face. It was almost as if he had suddenly realized that she was his captive and he really wasn't supposed to be talking to her. She stood still for a few more seconds, making sure he was gone before slumping down against the cot. She let out a gust of air and decided that tonight she would dream of the Elric brothers and pretend she wasn't really trapped in a cage.

-X-

He didn't return for days. Someone else, whose face she never saw, slipped her food to her every day. The person never stopped and waited for her to finish; they left and would pick up the tray of food when giving her her next meal. During those days she entertained herself with the walls around her, just as she did when he was not around. That and she slept. It was then she realized how boring the life of a pet would be. She actually found herself looking forward to being fed since they happened to be the most eventful times of day. It truly was pathetic.

Then he returned. At first it was only to feed her, he didn't say anything and continued the routine the other lady had of leaving and picking up the dirtied bowls when serving the next meal. But eventually he began to pick up his old routine of staying. He didn't say anything for a long time, till one day she got a little of her stew on the tip of her chin and he commented that she was a slob before handing her a napkin.

Their conversations from then on were short and reclusive. Till one day she felt the need to bring up what had been, what she believed, had scared him away for some time. "What are you scared of? Are you scared of who you were supposed to be?" Who he was supposed to be was the only thing she could come up with of what he had told her. There rest felt like a puzzle that could never be put back together without him telling her how and why. But she knew there was fear, and what she guess would be resentment. She wondered if his mother had set standards upon him he couldn't accomplish and he felt trapped by expectations. Her theory didn't answer all her questions, but it gave her a start.

Neither his facial expression nor body betrayed anything to her if he was lying or she had been truly incorrect. "What in the world do you think you're talking about?"

She had pictured this scene out in her head and gone over what she would say in response to any retort he could throw her way. But instead of snapping back and demanding more answers, she felt herself blubbering on about how she believed he had been abandoned because of his comment of humans being cowards and how he had said he wouldn't be whatever his mother wanted him to be. He watched her with mild irritation till she came to where he had said of a creature left alone and starving in a basement.

That made him go ballistic. "How do you know? What do you know? Who told you?" he screeched at the top of his lungs.

Already having been on high nerves, she felt instantly terrified. She tried to speak and explain that he had been the one to say so, not the number of people he was cursing, but he wouldn't let her get a word in. He yelled and screeched till she heard his voice falter. "Who was it?" was all he was able to whisper before seating himself down on the cot beside her.

She stiffened and folded her hands neatly in her lap, as far away from him as she could. "You said it. When you were telling me how humans were cowards, you used it as an example." She found herself biting the inside of her mouth, awaiting him to grab her and scream and tell her to forget everything he ever told her.

He leaned over, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands against his temple. He swayed slightly; she wondered if he was going to vomit, and then wondered if homunculi could vomit. "That bitch didn't say anything?"

She shook her head, but realizing he wasn't looking her way, responded. "No. I promise."

Nodded and looked as if he were going to get up and leave, when she found herself asking the forbidden. "What happened? Did she do something to you?" The question flew out of her mouth before she even had time to think and recite to herself why it would be such a bad idea to ask what had seemed to throw him into such short-lived temper tantrum.

"She didn't do anything, but she didn't do anything to stop it either," he spat. He stopped swaying and removed his hands from the sides of this face. He sat up straight and looked at her. "But I don't see why that's any of your business."

Her lips trembled as she spoke. "It helps to be able to share your problems with—"

"You've already asked me plenty of questions and I've given you a sufficient amount of answers. You needn't know more." He got up to make his way over to the cell door and she felt herself panic as she thought of ways to get him to stay. To stop him from leaving. She felt she was too close to finding what she needed to be able to escape now to let him go.

"Why can't you tell me this? You've given me plenty of answers to my questions before. Why not this one? Is it something—"

"YOU ARE MY PRISONER!" he bellowed. "Do not think that you have a right to information! I've only told you what you know because I didn't haven't had anything better to do lately! You are gaining any special treatment but do not think that you mean anything to me!"

His reaction hadn't been unanticipated but Winry still felt shock to see him seething with anger. Her fists clench and she shifted involuntarily. She swallowed and tried breathing. He loomed over staring her straight in the eye. She felt him waiting for her to say something, for her to open her trap and make the situation much worse than it already was. She had been hoping he would be willing to tell her, but he obviously didn't want to share whatever dark secret he kept buried so deeply within him.

Seeing she wasn't going to say anything, Envy turned to leave for second time, only to find himself stopped again. As he was leaving Winry had grabbed his hand in a brash attempt to hold him back. Her grip was loose and didn't put too much pressure on his hand, but was firm as well as receptive. He had a snarl on his face as he turned around, he looked as though he were ready to bite her hand off to make her stop.

"I don't know, what this person did to you, and even though you won't tell me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry whatever happened to you and made you feel this way did and," she felt her voice falter. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't really think there was anything else she could say. She looked up at him to see his eyes having glazed over when she had started talking. The snarl he wore before when he turned around had disappeared, a good sign, she hoped. "I'm sorry."

He looked at her, but she felt at the same time he wasn't. His eyes had glazed over and she saw a lost look in his eye. His mouth was opened slightly and his hand felt completely slack in hers. If he hadn't been standing she would've wondered if she had killed him. He stumbled over towards her before seating himself next to her, in a complete daze.

He blinked a few times, what she had said to him finally having registered in his brain. He seemed completely at loss for words, for only one made its way out of his mouth: "Why?"

Her words, having a desired effect on the sin, she decided not to use them to answer him. Instead she did the one thing that would permanently seal her fate. She slid her arm behind his neck to the shoulder opposite to her and pulled him towards her. Her left hand still held his, and she felt the muscles in his hand tighten as she came closer. She kissed the sin on the lips and felt his muscles go slack before he seemingly gained a great amount of confidence and they regained their strength. The kissed for a long time, but as the kiss slowly became more heated and confident rather than gentle and tentative, he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down on the cot. The look in his eyes one she had never seen before, and she could slowly see parts of his loneliness disappearing and being replaced with this knew emotion.

-X-

When it was over, Winry lay her head down on Envy's chest and sighed. Envy was thrown back against the pillows, one arm slung back around his head and one around Winry. They rested there for a moment, relinquishing what had happened, but as seconds dragged to minutes, Winry looked up to see if there was something wrong with Envy. He was unusually quiet, she had figured he would've have said something, but Envy had the tendency to talk when you least wanted to hear it and stay quiet when you wanted a response.

When she looked over at him, he had a blank, mildly contemplative, expression on his face. He looked strangely uncomfortable, as if there was something weighting down on him, or like there was an itch on his back he couldn't reach. "Envy?" she whispered tentatively as she kissed his chest.

His eyes shifted her way, but his body did not move. She felt his fingers curl from where they rested on her back. She moved her hand his naked chest to bear down on as she lifted her body slightly off of his to try and get a better look at him. She tried again, "Envy?"

This time she got a response. Envy's grip around her tightened and he pulled her closer towards himself. He rolled his torso upwards and his other hand pulled her chin closer towards him. He examined her face, for what she didn't and didn't think she would ever know, but she let him examine her, being a good and unmoving for him. His eyes held and emotion she had yet to have seen, which was odd and annoying to her, since she had believed she had known everything and figured out nearly everything about him. She had already figured out that the one from earlier had been lust. She could see how observant he was being, and she could see that he was looking for something within her, but there was something in his eyes she could quite put her finger on. But when he seemed to have found what he was looking for, she saw the muscles in face relax and he pulled her chin towards him and kissed her on the lips.

The kiss was slow and gentle, and felt nice and calm. It almost felt like some kind of a reassurance. But for what she didn't feel she could understand, and if she could, at the moment she didn't feel she wanted to. She had been the one to start the first kiss, but after it seemed he learned he could and that it felt good, he had constantly been pulling her lips back towards his. She rarely got to finish whatever else she was kissing or fondling because of him. But, not that she minded, soft lips felt better to her that rough skin did.

She closed her eyes, but when the kiss ended, she opened hers only to see him with his eyes still closed. He opened them for a moment, looking at her before pulling her down towards the bed with him, before closing them again. And so did she as she tried to ignore the pained feeling in her chest telling her this was all wrong.

-X-

It seemed that after that there was less talking involved in their time together. She knew she was unable to ask as many questions as she had in the past, for Envy had managed to find a very skillful way to shut her up. There were words that could be shared between the two, but it was always swallowed up by lust in the heat of the moment. But there was some part of it, and Winry didn't know which, but she knew that there was something defiantly wrong. Not that the fact that she was having sex with the man whom had locked her up and just a few months ago beaten her had been ignored. Neither has the fact that he was a non-human create she until recently hadn't even known had existed. Nope, she had gone over that one too. But one day, it finally came to her, Envy sometimes would make a game of sometimes playing her in different forms. (Playing consisted of foreplay and teasing her brusquely before reversing back to his for penetration of her body. In some ways she enjoyed this, it allowed her some kind of release she wasn't yet wise enough to understand, but she also hated it, because she knew it was sick and twisted and yet she was enjoying it.) And that's what got her.

Most of the time they were just images of men she found attractive. Some even contained kinks of hers she hadn't even known she had had till he pointed out her delighted response to them. But one day, he said he wanted to try something and he made her close her eyes and wait to see who he would turn into. She hadn't been expecting anyone she knew, much less for Edward Elric to suddenly be in front of her.

She felt her breath catch in her throat and her heart skip a beat. She felt something inside her soul twist when he kissed her.

Envy didn't show if he noticed anything wrong and very willingly took her in that form. She wondered how he failed to notice how she trembled in Ed's arms and how much more responsive she was to this form. Either he didn't notice or he chose not to notice; she didn't know which of the two options made her feel worse. She didn't feel the same way as she had with Envy when she had Ed's eyes to look at while being kissed. There was something else to it. It's not like she didn't enjoy how she felt in Envy's arms, but with Ed, or at least his form she felt there was more substance. There was something more raw and powerful scratching against her heart every time she thought of him that made her eyes water and her stomach twist every single time.

-X-

One morning—she knew it was morning for she was always fed an oatmeal like substance with banana for breakfast—he came to her cell in a bitter and foul mood. But she had not heard fighting before so she had no idea why he would be of such low spirits. He was silent for a long time but eventually he spoke up. As she was eating her food, he told her.

"My master no longer has any use for you."

She nearly choked on her food. She chewed slowly, making sure she had grinded everything correctly before swallowing. "What does that mean?"

"It means she no longer has any use for you."

She narrowed her question. "Does this mean she is going to kill me?"

"No." He straightened his jaw and licked his lips. He studied her, and out of nervousness caused by his strong penetrating gaze, she ate spoonful of her food. "Could you promise me something?"

She tensed. It was never a very good sign when someone asked for you to promise you would do something before they told you what it is. It always meant they were going to ask something for you that you wouldn't necessarily like. She decided to take a gamble and ask what that thing was. "What kind of promise?"

His eyes narrowed with slight distaste at having been questioned, but didn't say anything against it. "Could you promise to do something?"

She defiantly felt several reasons to say no pop up into her head. The most prominent idea of hers being that she didn't want to have to end up having to kill his master for him, or anything of such matter, but from the way he was looking at her she felt those thoughts drain right out of her. No, he didn't want her to kill for him; he wanted something much more important from her. "I promise," spilled from her mouth before she even had a chance to confirm her decision in her head.

He had been standing in front of her, and now moved and put his hand on his hip. He had an unsettled frown on his face. "If I were to let you go—" Winry felt her blood rush as she thought of him letting her go, a tingling shot up her spine and made the hairs on the back of her head stand up as she thought of home, and of returning to Ed and Al. "—would you promise not to tell anyone about your time here and…" He breathed before continuing, "Would you promise to come and see me for one night a week?"

The question barely even registered in her head, all she was paying attention to was the fact that she could go home soon. She tried not to look too eager when giving her response. "Yes, yes I can do that," she said nodding her head.

-X-

She was given the details later. She would stay all through Thursday and would be able to leave Friday morning before dawn. He gave her the number and a key to the apartment he owned. If she had something important coming up and she could not avoid it being scheduled on either Thursday, she could leave him a note a few days prior giving when she could come later that week. All in all it was a very generous deal, but she couldn't help thinking that that was dangerous. He was her captor, she should hate him, despise him, but she didn't. She slept with him, but she knew she did not love him. And that's what she feared, he might grow attached to her, and he might start to control her life. Her greatest fear is that she will not be able to ever escape him, even though that had been the original plan in the first place.

-X-

He took her to the outskirts of Dublith blindfolded. She walked for a very long time, so she couldn't even be sure that where she had been held captive had been in Dublith. Envy appeared in the form of a young gentleman and escorted her to the train station, where she would catch a train to Central. He had already contacted the Elric brothers, they would meet her at the train station in Central. He spoke to them in an anonymous voice over the phone.

Winry had been held captive in the same outfit she had worn the day they had captured her and was only permitted to bathe every once in a while, handing her a bucket of water, a washcloth, and a bar of soap and was told to do the best she could. But this was only once in a while, and since they had arrived a few hours before the train would depart, Envy rented a hotel room for which she could use a shower to clean herself up with. She had blood stains near her crouch area due to her horrible menstrual cycle and dirt in every single crevasse of her body.

While she had bathed Envy had gone out and bought her some suitable clothes to wear. He seemed to be trying to erase any sign of her having been mistreated . It was quite nice, after so long, to be treated to the luxury of a shower and clean clothes. Winry swore she would never again take anything for granted.

Envy had seemed out for place throughout all of this. He seemed as if he wanted to talk and say something to her, but didn't know where to start. When he returned to the hotel room she had waited inside the bathroom with a towel for her clothes. He quickly pulled her out and they had a fast and heavy round of sex before she had shower again to get the smell of sex off of her, before their train arrived.

He returned to the form of the tall blonde gentleman when they left the hotel. He had captured her in late spring; as Winry looked around outside, she saw the leaves on the trees having already changed color, some even having fallen to the ground. She chose not to comment to Envy on this, after everything that had happened, and that had yet to happen, it didn't seem very appropriate.

At the train station he handed her a ticket just as the conductor was shouting last calls for boarding. They stood still, facing each other for what could be considered to them, a long time. Eventually, at the conductor's warning, Envy leaned over, whispered "Don't forget your promise," in her ear before pecking her on the cheek. He turned around and left, blending in perfectly with the swarm of people so well, that after ten feet, she could no longer see him.

-X-

The train ride felt slow and agonizing. Winry sat at the edge of her seat, watching the outside scenery from her window, waiting expectantly to see the familiar sight of Central city's high-towering buildings in the distance. When it all finally came into view, she felt her breath catch in her throat. Tears bloomed in her eyes, waiting to be shed, making Central city look blurrier than it had in the distance. She pushed them down, hoping that when she finally saw Ed and Al again she could look strong and healthy. She knew how much Ed hated to see her cry and she didn't want him thinking that it was because of the abuses she suffered and for him to go on blaming himself. No, she was just so happy to be back.

-X-

It was hard for her to locate them in the crowd, there were so many people, and she couldn't seem to find Al's suit of armor in the crowd, which she found particular. As she made her way through the crowd, she heard two voices calling her name, two very familiar voices calling her name. She felt her throat tighten. "Ed? Al?" was all that she could manage to croak.

She expected to see a giant suit of armor lumbering towards her, but she found none. Instead she saw Ed coming towards her first, and a young man who looked to be about Ed's age with almost the same features, just rounder with darker coloring running and swerving people to get to her. The tears she had blinked back on the train ride arose once again and this time, she let the fall. "Al?" she managed a broken cry.

Alphonse's smiled widened and as Ed approached her, he slowed down to a stop. Al kept running towards her till he was embracing her. "It's so good to see you again Winry," he whispered into her shoulder, where his head was buried. He looked up into her eyes and she almost began bawling. "I missed you. We both did."

She wrapped her arms around Al. "I missed you too. I'm so glad you managed to get your body back."

They both let go of each other and Winry smiled at Ed, who managed a weak and embarrassed smile in return before she hugged him. "I'm also glad to see you, Ed."

Ed awkwardly put his arms around her and she felt the cool metal of his right palm against her back. He hadn't managed to get his arm back. "I missed you too," he mumbled.

She withdrew herself from his embrace, but held onto his forearm. He held her elbow. "You didn't get your arm back, what about your leg?"

Ed smiled and shook his head. His smile, it reached his eyes, but it felt as if he were trying to say something more, but couldn't. "It's okay."

"But now Ed and I are going to look for ways to get his limbs back too. We've been looking into Cretan alchemy but—"

"—but we were looking for you instead." Ed's eyes held worry and concern as well as a twinge of guilt. Winry felt her mouth go dry as she looked into his eyes and saw months of him searching and worrying, him and Al crying themselves to sleep and blaming themselves for the disappearance of their friend.

She didn't know what to say in return. What could she possibly say, sorry? It wasn't her fault for getting captured. There were words that could have been used to sooth his soul, but Winry couldn't think of any. She had been too terrified herself of everything that had happened, being kept down in that cell trying to figure out a way to trick the monster keeping her captive, fearing every day that he would somehow guess her game and beat her. For him to be so unspeakably angry that she…well she just couldn't picture it. She wouldn't let herself think of such things.

But what had been really fucking terrifying had been the thought of pitying the creature. That had been a horrible thought, feeling bad for her captor. But it was unavoidable. She couldn't stop it. And now she wasn't even really free yet. She was still tied to him.

She just put her arms around him in return. She didn't know what else she could do, and she knew she would have to fix this situation by herself. "I…" she tried.

"Sssh. It's all going to be okay now, Winry." Those words nearly made her burst into tears, and she felt Alphonse come up and hug her from behind.

-X-

Ed and Al were incredibly sweet to her from then on, and made sure to include her in everything. She knew more about alchemy and their current plans as well as their old ones than she ever had. Ed even hadn't been picking as many fights and wasn't yelling as much as he used to.

It all felt like a dream come true.

The only question she held was why they had yet to ask her any questions on where she had been and what happened to her. When she had returned to the hotel suite they'd be staying in she had expected to be bombarded with questions and for her to have to squirm and wiggle her way out of giving them answers. But the brothers had been oddly silent about what had happened. Sometimes when she did certain things, like the time she had been so excited about eating the food presented to her that by most peoples standards would be plain and in need of flavoring, or how she flinches and looked upwards every time she heard a loud noise, more specifically something crash and break. They would always look at her with sad, miserable, guilty eyes then, but the only comments made would be to remind her that better more luxurious food existed and to sooth her racing heart.

This lack of them needing to find out made her wonder what terrible thing happened on their part for them to already understand what she went through.

-X-

She was always on time and punctual to her meeting with Envy every week. Now that they no longer had every sparing minute of the day together, things were different. They both acted like they barely knew each other, which they did, but before they were able to delude themselves into thinking that they knew everything and were close. They talked less because of this, most of their visits solely consisted of sex. From the moment she walked in the door and from the few minutes before she left they had sex. And that was it.

And the more the weeks that past she found herself dulling at the thought of having to go see him became less and less a noble act that she would have to accept and more something she had dug herself into that she was beginning to grow older and would not be able to live the rest of her life with. Also with the less time spent with him, became blurrier to her vision than it had before when she had been spending enough time with him to see the sorrow. With no real answer to why he had been lonely and so miserable looking, she began to question whether or not her pity had been valid or not. And her doubts could have been that now that she had been reunited with her loved ones and her old life, she could reminiscence on what he had taken away from her.

-X-

"Before I was set free," she started nervously, "I was told the person in charge of the person holding me captive no longer need me."

The three of them, Ed, Al, and Winry had been having breakfast in a quiet silence that had been only been broken once when Alphonse mentioned something of the brother's research Winry couldn't quite understand. Winry had been itching at a particular question that had come to mind yesterday afternoon. After rethinking her theory, she decided that it might just be safe to ask the brothers.

"Would you two have had anything to do with that?"

Ed and Al both gave her blank looks, which told her that they knew nothing of what she was asking them. Ed put down the coffee cup he had been holding and periodically sipping. "We were never even informed who your captor was. We were contacted by someone, about your ransom, and we had our guesses that the homunculi were behind it, but we were never really informed for anything."

"We were told that "she" wanted us to create a philosopher's stone for her, just as the homunculi had asked of us, but there was only one female homunculus out of the ones that we had met, and she didn't appear to be the leader. This gave us doubts as to whether we were contacted by the homunculi or by someone else," Alphonse continued, painting a bigger picture of the position the brothers had been in.

"They wanted you to create a philosopher's stone as a…" She couldn't find the nerve within herself to complete the sentence.

"Ransom," Alphonse finished for her.

She felt her mouth go dry and her palms begin to sweat. "I didn't, you didn't do, their made of," so many different thoughts, and scenarios, and questions that to came her mind that she couldn't put them all into words, just mish-mashed phrases that didn't go together, but the Elrics were still able to decode.

"We didn't pay the ransom, if that's what you're afraid of. We already told you that we never met your captor," Ed fidgeted under her gaze and turned his head to look out the hotel room window. "We couldn't do that. We already told you what the main ingredient for a philosopher's stone is and we just couldn't…" Ed looked over at Alphonse, who had the same expression as Ed, like a child who felt ashamed of having to tell their parent they couldn't do something because they were afraid of it.

"I'm glad you didn't, I'm not worth it," Their expression changed to one that showed themselves wanting to speak up, wanting to say that she would've been worth it. But that would've been a lie, because she hadn't been, that much was obvious to all three of them. "And I don't think I could go on living knowing that people died to be able to save me, one tiny insignificant person."

"You're not insignificant Winry," Alphonse said. "But," he treaded slowly and carefully, "thousands of people would've died, and that would just have been too…selfish."

"I know, and I'm glad you didn't." She smiled at the brothers and they—Alphonse and Winry and later encourage to follow, Ed-all got up and hugged over the table, which resulted in Ed accidentally knocking his coffee all over himself when he went to sit down. That caused him to curse and yelp and Winry and Alphonse to laugh, which help dissolve the tension that had still been left in the air.

-X-

Her visits with Envy slowly became more against her will as she spent more time with the Elrics, with one of them in particular. Edward had always been the harder to get along with out of the two, he could be rude and cruel, firing mean comments about her being an automail junkie and having no sex appeal. And despite the fact that she had been repeatedly told by Pinako that he only said such things because he didn't know how to act around the opposite gender and was probably harboring some sort of crush on her, she still sometimes felt hurt by the things he would say to her. There were sometimes he would notice he had hurt her feelings and would mumble a simple, "Sorry", under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear it. It always managed to lighten her mood to hear him apologize, because she always knew he meant it and that it wasn't just something he felt forced to do but something he wanted to do.

Even since she had gotten back he had treated her with more respect than she had believe possible from the older Elric, and was more gentle and didn't explode upon contact. Immediately. Of course they still spat poison at each other, because it honestly wouldn't be them if they didn't and also because of the fact that they simply weren't quiet people.

She had always (maybe, kinda, sorta) liked Edward in a different way that she had liked Alphonse. Ed yelled, so she never felt bad yelling back. She could be as loud as she wanted around him. Ed was harder to get along with or to get to agree with you on some things, which presented her with a challenge, which she loved. There was a certain glint in Ed's eye that Alphonse didn't have, a glint that let you know he was a bit of a wild card, which let on a kind of danger to being around him, which could be thrilling. But the biggest difference was that Al treated her like a girl, not that Ed didn't, he did, but he didn't expect that she should be dainty or refined like Al did. With Ed he could still be the same brat who ran around Risenbool with two boys, who alternated between dresses and overalls and never cared about being 'careful' when wearing her dresses and skirts. She felt with Al she had to be calmer and not yell and throw out curses. Al needed someone more lady-like, and she didn't know what the hell Ed wanted, but she knew she felt more herself around him. Al was safe, and comparatively, Ed wasn't.

And the closer she got with Ed and the more time she spent with him, the more she felt guilty for sleeping with Envy and the more her secret began to weigh her down. She wanted to say to herself that the reason she had been sleeping with him was because she had pitied him and because she wanted to use his loneliness to manipulate him and have him set her free. And while both of those reasons were true, so was the fact that she had enjoyed what she had shared with him and for a long time had looked forward to repeating the acts. But as she realized that she was falling in love with Edward, she felt dirty for thinking of such things and soiled, for having committed them. She felt for what she had done she didn't deserve Edward.

These thoughts began to plague her mind as she visited Envy, but for the time being, she hadn't seen that he noticed her distress.

-X-

There were things that could've been said between her and Envy, but most of the time they were lost when Envy began kissing her. They had done everything so many times before that there was nothing left for them to learn about each other's bodies and how they would react. She knew him like the back of her hand.

They still talked, though, never about why she was captured. That was never mentioned, it was almost as if it had never even happened. If he seemed upset about something, she would ask him what happened. Sometimes he answered, and sometimes he kissed her to shut her up. She knew she shouldn't, but as much as she felt hurt by the fact that she had been his hostage, she still pitied him, and could see a lost look in his eye every time she left the following day. He was still lonely, and even though she hated herself for it, and felt she should hate him for holding her prisoner, every time she saw the loneliness begin to creep back into his eyes, she felt her heart melt despite herself. And for a few seconds she would remember why she pitied him, before returning home to Edward and forgetting it all over again.

She was never able to learn more about him, by talking to him, everything else she learned was from the Elrics. And she never mentioned to him her current life. Those topics were about parts of themselves that they were both alien to them, therefore there was an unspoken understanding that such topics were forbidden. But she eventually had to mention it.

"Envy?" The sin who lay next to her had been curling her hair around his finger while he lay on the bed next to her. He tilted his head slightly in her direction to show that he was listening. "My home's in Risenbool and I'm going to need to be returning there sometime soon, Ed and Al have been talking about it and my Grandma brings it up a lot in our calls. What do you want to do about our deal then? I can't just hop on a train every week without them suspecting something. Right now Ed and Al are working on their research, so they either haven't noticed me leaving or haven't had any care to ask." They probably think I'm going off to visit Gracia or Lieutenant Hawkeye, Winry thought miserably. Ed gave her an odd look the third time she had left the house, as if she wondered where she was going, but had never asked her about it, so she didn't give an answer. But even though they allowed her enough freedom to visit Envy, they would not allow her to leave on a train alone, and since they personally wanted to escort her, for fear of the dangers lurking which had already made themselves present.

Envy didn't look too pensive when answering; he just continued to twirl her hair around his finger. "Are there any hotels or anything of such value in Risenbool?"

"There's a small two room inn near the train station."

"Then we'll figure something out, just tell me when you're leaving," he said before moving closer and tugging at her lower lip with his teeth. She complied and opened her mouth to greet his tongue. She could feel him smile in satisfaction into the kiss.

There being an inn in Risenbool didn't solve half the problem. Once they got there, the Elrics would no longer have their noses shoved in their books and would actually notice her absence on every Thursday. Her grandmother might not with all the late night work she does on her automail, but she knew the Elrics would notice something was up. And if she were to be discovered, her grandmother doesn't know Envy so she wouldn't know the full extent of the horror of finding out her granddaughter is sleeping with him like the Elric brothers would if they discovered her.

She didn't voice these fears and problems out loud to Envy though, for she didn't believe he would want to hear it. He would probably just tell her that it's her problem and to deal with it. She felt trapped between what she had to do and what she wanted to do, but she left Envy distract her from those thoughts for the time being.

-X-

Once she decided to finally come out and ask him what would've happened to her if she hadn't agreed to this deal with him. Envy smiled cruelly when she asked her question and hissed dangerously in her ear something that would repeat itself in her head on her entire walk home.

"I would've killed you."

-X-

The momentary thought of what would happen if she were to just skip a visit with Envy came to mind the next morning at breakfast, but she decided to ignore it. It would be a stupid idea, she didn't want to anger Envy—for she already knew what hell that could be—and she wasn't sure he didn't know where she was currently residing with the Elric brothers and wouldn't come hunt her down. Or even, God forbid, hurt the Elrics instead of her. That would hurt her more than any punch to the cheek, and she instantly decided that she would try to eliminate any chance of the Elric brother's encountering Envy.

But a part of her knew she was being illogical. He wouldn't hurt her, he would kill her, just as he said he was supposed to do before.

-X-

She didn't normally spend a lot of time alone with the older Elric brother, normally Alphonse would also be there or they would just have short interactions. Sometimes she could have spent longer with him, but she usually fled the scene, due to awkward happenings between her and Ed, but also there was her secret of sleeping with Envy, which she always saw clearly and looking at her with resentment every time she looked Ed in the eyes. It was hard. And she began to hate herself for it the closer she got with him.

One day, Alphonse stepped out for the day to visit with some fellow alchemist colleges for the day. Alphonse had explained what it was for to her, but all she was certain about was that it was to help them with some research on botanic-alchemy Alphonse had been helping them with. Alphonse had asked for Ed to come along with him, but Ed had said he'd rather spend a week alone with Major Armstrong than spend an afternoon with some plant-alchemy freaks. Alphonse had frowned in disapproval but then brightened and said that it was good Ed wasn't going, someone needed to keep Winry company.

Ed simply snarled and said that that wasn't the reason why he was staying while Alphonse raised his eyebrow suggestively at his older brother while chuckling. Winry felt out of place there, Alphonse hinting towards them being together and Edward so openly denying feeling any attraction towards her, and her, so desperately in love with him. It was awkward being caught in the middle of the two brothers bickering, but even more so over whether the boy she loved was also interested in her, which he would angrily deny no, getting all red in the face from yelling.

When Alphonse left, the two didn't do anything of importance. Ed pulled out a book and Winry also pulled one out, while at the same time wishing she could return to Risenbool soon, so that she would be able to begin working on her automail again. Every once in a while Winry would make a small comment to Ed, hoping to initiate a conversation, but to no luck he would only give short one-word responses before resuming to read.

It wasn't until later that they found a reason to talk, there was no food for them to make dinner with. There were two options for eating, buying groceries or eating out, but Central on a Saturday night almost guaranteed having to wait a long time before being seated, so eating out was out ruled by the two.

It was easier to talk when out on the street than a home. The ever-changing outside always gave her something to comment to Ed about, and this time they could sometimes drag out into conversations. They both picked out enough food to sustain the three of them for a while and Ed was at the cash register paying for the food. (Winry didn't have money to pay for anything herself, so she swore that once she began making money again, she would repay the Elrics.) While Ed did this, Winry found her vision straying and her eyes wandering around the room until they landed on Ed. Well, his arm to be more precise. He had on his usual attire, save for the coat, which covered his automail pretty well within his long sleeve shirt and gloves. But she could still see the slightest bit of metal where the gloves and the sleeve of his shirt don't quite meet.

There was something about seeing his automail that reminded her of the expression he wore when he told her he had not yet regained his body, bittersweet, happy, but with slight regret. She could all of the sudden see Edward and Alphonse putting their fists together and getting all excited over a new lead to getting their bodies back. And she then realized that every time Ed spoke of getting their bodies back, he had spoken of Alphonse's. He had been lying. He didn't quite care for his as much, so he let it go and only got Alphonse's body. She wondered if now he really was studying to get his body back or if he was doing something else.

That selflessness made her feel heat prickling at the bottoms of her eyes and before she could even think to stop it, she had tears streaming down her face. Cursing at her weakness, Winry rapidly wiped the tears from her face, but not before Ed had seen them.

"Winry?" He had had a bag to carry extended in her direction and she took it from his grasp and hurried outside in embarrassment. Ed followed closely behind her. "Winry!"

She didn't go very far, just outside the store to the front of the next building. She had turned her body towards the brick, not wanting anyone else to see her, since was still trying her best to push back her tears. Crying in public was something Winry Rockbell did not do, and she simply hated crying in front of Ed. Good reason or not she always felt like such a… female around him. She hated being so weak compared to him. She could hear the heavy footstep of his automail leg and his lighter human one slowing down as he approached her. She didn't turn to face him due embarrassment. Her hair blocked Ed from seeing her face. Edward laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Winry, what's the matter?"

She tried to wipe away as much evidence of her tears as possible with her hands. "I…" she turned and saw the people passing on the street, some looking at the two, which only made her more embarrassed. "I'll tell you when we get back."

She guessed that it was because he was in the middle of a moment in which female hormones were at their strongest that he wordlessly agreed.

-X-

It was hard trying to explain to Ed how she felt, without feeling she was suddenly giving him credit she didn't give often enough, for most of the time she was cursing over broken automail.

From the moment the door closed and Ed set his bags down in the tiny kitchen, she could feel how anxious and how awkward he was feeling. She hadn't sensed it before, she was too busy walking farther ahead of him, trying to be as far away as possible without coming across as rude.

"Nothing happened to me," she decided that such opening would be the best for a situation like this one. "I was just thinking and…" She rocked on her feet slightly, staring downwards at her feet. Her bottom lip curled inwards as she tried to but her thoughts into words.

"Thinking of what?" Ed asked.

Her eyes fluttered upwards to look at him, but quickly moved back down under the intensity of his gaze. "It's just Al got his body back but you didn't get yours and I—"

"Winry," he began softly, "It's just an arm and a leg, not an entire body like him. I'm fine the way I am."

Her head shot up to face him. "But you deserve to have your body back too."

Having no response for her statement, he switched the conversation back to her. "Why are you crying about this?"

She inhaled and her chest and shoulders rose. "Because you're my best friend and I care about you."

He gave her a funny smile, one that had two different tones to it: you're such an idiot and you're so endearing. He blushed and then looked away. "Thank you," he mumbled.

She felt herself sigh with relief as he turned to unpack their groceries.

-X-

Dinner was quiet, but yet she didn't feel as awkward as she had before, having gotten her feelings out and off of her chest. Edward did begin to give her this strange look though, which bothered her. It was as if he was trying to study and figure something out, which made her more uncomfortable as the night progressed. Later when washing their dishes and the pots and pans used to provide their meal, Edward spoke up.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm not going to die, I don't plan to die. I'd don't want you being afraid for me, I've let you do that long enough now." He had been looking at the plate he had been drying, but now he turned to face her. "I'm sorry I let you down. But don't cry for me, I have both you and Alphonse back in one piece, I couldn't be happier. I don't need a new arm and leg when I have the best automail mechanic in the world who can provide even better."

Winry felt her throat tighten and tears beginning to rise in her eyes. And she felt her stomach drop as she thought of the lie she was living, seeing Envy in the shadows. She felt her temperature rise and her palms begin the sweat as she stared up into his gaze. She held the plate she had been scrubbing with less strength than before. "I'm sorry," she whispered for probably a different reason than he believed.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." He set the plate that had still been in his hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She felt her entire body go completely weak under the touch. She very carefully placed the plate she had been holding on the counter before the weakness in her muscles made her drop it. Her arms dangled uselessly at her sides; she wanted to put them around him so much.

"I missed you so much Winry. You could possibly imagine how much. I was so worried." She could hear his voice crack as he said the last word.

"Ed," she managed to croak. She felt so close to tears.

He withdrew from the hug to look into her eyes, but still held her close to him, as if he didn't she would disappear. "I," his voice cracked. He tried again. "I missed you so much, and I was so worried and I think that made me realize something. I think love you Winry," he said before he kissed her.

Winry felt as if her brain had melted and her heart had collapsed in on itself. He squeezed her tightly against him, her shoulder aching slightly from the force. Winry in turn felt herself wiggling her arms free to wrap them around his torso. He was kissing her with him nose squished against his, but she didn't mind, even though it made breathing through her nose harder. She loved how it felt as if it was something awkward and dorky only Ed would do.

But as much as she was enjoying herself, she felt as if she were forgetting something, but dismissed the feeling and just allowed herself to simply enjoy the moment as she felt, somehow under all that guilt, she deserved.

-X-

Everything always felt so simple and right with Ed. She had known him for so long, and it was a warming feeling to see him acting nervous and embarrassed around her. Yet at the same time she felt him unsure of how to act after he had kissed her and confessed, she could still tell he meant it, and he wasn't going to back down on being with her. He really wanted things to work between them. It felt so nice to be involved in such an innocent relationship. No touching, nothing of any sexual act, just Ed blushing and fumbling awkwardly as he kissed her.

They spent the rest of the night talking and kissing, it felt just as it had when they were children, before Ed's mother died and he hit puberty, save for the kissing part. It felt like an intimacy far greater than sex. Sex could be done by any two individuals, without any care for where they end up later. She and Ed spent the night together kissing and sometimes whispering sweet nothings and recounting old memories of when they were younger to each other. That to her felt like it had much greater substance than sex could even have.

But the entire time she couldn't shake the feeling that she was forgetting something important, that there was something she need to do. And as she fell asleep on the couch curled in Ed's arms, the feeling refused to go away, even though she was sure she wasn't forgetting anything.

-X-

What she was forgetting came to her late at night. She woke with an abrupt start, jostling Ed, who was sleeping right beside her.

"Shit!" she cursed.

She ran to get her shoes and get out the door, not needing to change clothes since she had just fallen asleep in her dress, rather than nightwear. Inconveniently the first and closest pair of shoes she was able to find was a pair of slightly heeled boots. She didn't think much of them though, she wasn't ungraceful, and she was in such hurry that she couldn't make herself find another pair.

"Where are you going Winry?"

She turned around to find Ed right behind her. His eyes were narrowed and she could tell he was suspecting something dangerously wrong.

She shook her head. "I have to go," was all she said before tearing out the door and down the stairs to leave the hotel.

Ed followed behind her quickly, seemly determined to stop her and wrench a truth out of her she would never be able to tell. He yelled her name repeatedly on his way down the stairs, but she just ignored him and continued on, cursing herself for being such an idiot and getting herself into this mess.

She had been so distracted, she had forgotten her appointment with Envy.

-X-

"Winry please stop!" Ed yelled from behind her. He wasn't too far behind her, the heels of her shoes prevented her from running very fast, but the adrenaline currently coursing through her veins allowed her to actually stay ahead of him, since he was running bare footed, but she knew she would have to lose him soon or he would catch up to her. He had been learning to running for much longer than she had.

And she didn't want him to encounter Envy or even find out where she was heading anyways.

She wasn't too far from her and Envy's meeting place, just another two blocks before she'd be at the shabby old apartment building. The apartment was located on a rougher side of the city than where she usually went, which she feared would already have Ed more suspicious of where she was headed.

His footsteps got louder behind her and before she could speed up to get away, he pulled on her wrist and pulled her into an empty alleyway to her right. She gave a yelp and tripped—nearly fell—but his grip went from to her forearms and steadied her.

"What do you think you're doing Winry?" he asked, almost yelled.

She grimaced and turned her head away, determined not to look him in the eye. "Ed you don't understand, I have to go. Let me go, please."

Ed's grip on her only tightened. "Tell me Winry: Where do you have to go?"

She felt herself instinctively turn to face him and was overwhelmed by the amount of worry she saw in his eyes. Guilt flooded over her worry of being killed so fast she felt her stomach lurch; she suddenly felt as if she were going to vomit. Her stiff muscles weakened under him.

"Please tell me Winry. I'm worried about you. What are you doing out here that scares you so much? If you don't tell me I can't help you, and I want to help you." His hands upon feeling less resistance coming from her, slipped upwards to cup her face and he kissed her very lightly on the lips. "Tell me Winry."

She squinted her eyes closed at his feathery kiss, wanting nothing more to avoid him for the growing fear in her stomach. She had to leave, get out, distract Ed, get to Envy, but now she wasn't sure she would know how to do that. She pulled free of Ed's grip and tried moving in the other direction, moving only forty feet away from him, only a few seconds after he had just been holding her, looking right into her eyes, before she turned back to face him when he called her name.

What played out before her eyes seemingly happened in slow motion. Ed hadn't been the one to call her, Envy had his hand clamped on Ed's mouth. Once he saw he had her attention, he took a knife and sliced right through the middle of Edward's torso. Blood splattered wildly, as if wanting to cover everything around him and quickly as it could. Ed fell to the floor like a rag doll, dead within seconds. Winry felt her entire body burn as she thought he had just been holding her against him a minute ago, but now he lay dead on the ground. Her throat burned and she wanted to scream, but she couldn't hear anything come out.

"Why?" Envy had said but she wondered why he was the one asking her that. He was completely apathetic towards having just killed Edward in cold-blood.

Winry backed away as Envy made his way towards her. His arm had shifted into a very large very menacing looking blade, which she had already seen had the capability of slicing a human being in half. She tried to think of someway to escape, or something she could say that would make his intent less murderous, but all she could think of was Edward and how quickly he had been sliced right in two, right before her eyes.

"You vile human. Did you really think you could escape me? And to think I thought you were different, but in reality, you humans are all the same.

"You created this mess," when she looked up into his eyes she could see the rage burning so brightly and the bloodlust in his crooked smile. "And I'm going to be the one to clean it up."

Her back hit a wall behind her and she raised her palms to try and brace herself against it, but she was sweating so badly it felt as if the gripping brick wall was slipping right out of her grasp. She vaguely wondered how many times he had cornered her up against a wall. She had been in the position of prey so many times, she wondered how she had ever found the nerve to pity him. The moment he killed Ed all thoughts of pitying him flew out the window, and with her back pressed against this wall as she expected death, she couldn't seem to summon any other thought than how demonic this monster finally looked before her. How in the world had that been something she missed?

Her knees were shaking, and she felt all the muscles in her body were completely limp, useless if she somehow devised a way out. Envy began slowly closing in on her and her eyes drifted towards Edward, looking at her friend, whom she would soon be following. Bile rose in her throat.

Envy followed her line of vision. "Look at the mess you made, you got his blood everywhere." He smiled cruelly, but his lips reversed back to a thin line so fast it was almost comical. Maybe some other time she would've noticed.

He stood right in front of her and she lifted one arm and crossed it over her chest, a very flimsy mean of self-defense. Three blood stained fingers came up and gripped her chin, pulling it upwards for him to study her face, just as he had so many times before. Blood smeared on her face right where he touched her. They stood so close, she could hear the Ed's blood dripping off of the blade which was a simple transmutation of Envy's arm.

Red sparks suddenly flew across the knife and it reduced in size, till the metal only took up what she believed Envy's hand would be. His eyes never moved from her face as he lifted his arm, pulling his elbow farther away from his body, preparing for a powerful strike. She felt her heart beat faster and her eyes glaze over.

"It's such a shame, pretty faces like yours are found quite often, but a kind heart like the one you were rumored to have are hard to come across. But I guess even people like you can chose who to show that compassion too." He smile bitterly. "I guess it was too much to ask for for that kindness to be showed to me."

She felt as if she were dreaming, and her body could barely come up with a coherent thought. The last she managed was to shut her eyes before his knife—his hand—plummeted straight into her heart.

End.

A/N: I will soon post a link on my profile to all art inspirations for my fics, which will be found in a folder in my favorites on dA. The one for this piece will be titled "What A Pretty Face".