Chapter 4
GH The Nurses Hub - 3 weeks later
Elizabeth was finding it hard to concentrate on work, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. The last few weeks had taken it's toll on her, Lucky and their marriage. They were barely hanging on by a thread. She had taken on a second job, thanks to Patrick, to help pay Lucky's medical bills because he wouldn't let Nikolas help them. Now Lucky was pushing his physical therapy in order to get back to work. He was in constant pain and denial and the only way he seemed able to cope was to take it out on Elizabeth. He took every opportunity to make sure she was aware that he held her responsible for everything that was wrong with his life. She was holding him back from his recovery, or she was treating him like a child or she wasn't supporting him. Everything was her fault. They fought constantly and it was beginning to affect Cameron, which was unacceptable. Oh and of course, despite the fact that Patrick had come to their financial rescue and arranged the second job, Lucky had begun to accuse her of having an affair with Patrick, not just an infatuation. She could always safely assure him she had no emotional attachment to Patrick. But each time she said the words that little voice inside her head reminded her that she was cheating emotionally on Lucky. Not with Patrick but with Jason. She wondered if God was punishing her for that? But Jason had become her rock and safe haven from the daily grind of being Mrs Lucky Spencer and she wasn't giving him up. She cared too much. God she was a miserable wife, why did Jason even like her? A dull ache was forming in her temple, threatening to explode in to a full blown migraine. She needed a Cameron cuddle to ease her emotional pain that was for sure. But it was nap time at the daycare so she would just have to ignore the headache that was threatening. Jason! If a Cameron cuddle wasn't possible, a visit from Jason would always do the trick too. She had seen him many times over the last few weeks. He came to the hospital often or always seemed to appear in the park or at the docks when she had gone there for air or a chance to think without Lucky constantly berating her. She kept hoping Jason would offer to take her for a ride on his bike, but it never seemed to come up. Instead he would curve an arm around her shoulders and offer his own shoulder to lean on for a few minutes. Whenever she asked about him though, he always changed the subject or made an excuse to leave. She was startled from her thoughts by a familiar voice
"Elizabeth?" Jason called her.
She looked up with a welcoming smile, amused that the object of her thoughts had materialized suddenly. She moved around the desk and headed straight for the hug she knew he'd offer. "Jason! How did you know I was thinking about you and wishing you'd visit me?"
"I didn't…I just needed to see you. You look…whipped. Is it Lucky?" he smiled enveloping her in his arms.
"Yes…but please don't let me talk about it. I'm so tired of it…and if I have to talk about it or think about it anymore I'll dissolve into a puddle at your feet." she warned, only half jokingly.
"ooookay then…well we won't talk about it. Can you take a break and get a coffee with me?" he asked.
"If you can get that girl to take a break Mr Morgan I'd be eternally grateful. No further than the cafeteria though." Epiphany interrupted before Elizabeth could say No.
"Do you mind?" Elizabeth questioned, hint of pleading in her voice.
"Let's go" he replied.
Jason turned Elizabeth towards the elevator moving behind her to place a hand on both shoulders and start massaging. Elizabeth sighed relaxing at his firm touch and momentarily wishing it could be more. Not for the first time Jason thought to himself, that Lucky was a moron. That he could treat Elizabeth the way he did was inexcusable to Jason. He knew the guy was injured and in pain, but to put his pride above Elizabeth's happiness and well being was just, well, wrong. He touched her because he needed the physical connection. It was so weird. He felt better then he had in weeks when he touched her, but his life was a mess. What was even weirder was that he hadn't had a nightmare since he'd saved Elizabeth from Manny. Logically he thought that the incident with Manny should have made his nightmares worse, not caused them to disappear. He was still dreaming, which in itself was strange considering his brain injury was supposed to render him incapable of dreams, but his dreams were in no way unpleasant. In fact they were down right erotic and every single one of them had Elizabeth in the lead role. Maybe his nightmares had been his subconscious warning him about the danger Manny posed. But what did that say about his erotic dreams? With Elizabeth taking the staring role in them, what did it mean?
He felt closer to her now than he had in a long time, since the first time he was shot. He was patiently biding his time for Elizabeth to realize that Lucky wasn't her future. Jason had decided to be honest with himself and what he really wanted, and the truth was Jason wanted his chance with her again. He'd been the one to save her from Manny, so he deserved another shot at making her happy. Right? He wanted the opportunity to prove he was the man for her. He hadn't confided in Elizabeth about Sam or the move he'd made yet. But he would when the time was right. When she was ready to hear that he was in love with her, as much as he'd ever been. He brought his mind back to the present and sat her down while he went to purchase a hot chocolate for her and a black coffee for himself.
"SO if we aren't going to talk about you know who what are we going to talk about?" he enquired.
"You" she shot back immediately "every time I ask about you and how things are you change the subject." She accused lightly.
"No I don't" he lied.
"Jason" she stated with that warning tone "if we are going to be friends it has to be an equal opportunity friendship. I'm just as interested in you as you are in me." she told him.
Jason decided to throw her the sexiest smile he could muster up and focused his eyes right into hers.
"Somehow I don't quite think that's true" he muttered under his breath. "Ok. Well Sonny still hasn't given Emily up. That scares me still. But I'm totally in charge now, I've completely neutralized Sonny within the business and no one will deal with him." He paused to see her reaction and when there was no notable change in her demeanor continued. "I hate running the business but I do it because I have no choice. Sonny seems to be handling it but I'm not sure." he paused thinking "I've noticed a change in him that scares me. I think he's slipping, and I think Emily has noticed it to, but when I ask her she denies it. I guess she doesn't trust me anymore than I trust her at this point."
"Oh Jason." She sighed placing a hand in his, so he could hold hers firmly "I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation she's been pretty short with me too. It seems if I can't support her relationship, she is hell bent on shutting me out. I wish I could do something about it, but honestly my focus is elsewhere at the moment." Elizabeth shook her head with worry.
"and it should be. You leave Emily to me. How's Cam?" he asked concerned, his thumb absently rubbing over her knuckles.
"He's staying at Grams at the moment. Lucky and I fight constantly and I don't want Cam to see it. Lucky is furious with me over it too." She informed him, taking comfort from his firm grasp.
Jason slammed the table with his free hand "God damn it Lucky is a jerk." He roared.
"JASON" Elizabeth jumped shocked at his anger.
"I'm sorry but he is. I don't like how he is treating you" he told her trying to calm himself.
"News flash Jason I don't like it either. But we weren't going to talk about it. How's Sam?"
"She's Sam. What can I say?" he muttered distractedly. Was it time to tell her everything? He wondered.
"Have things settled down?" she asked.
NO it wasn't time "No…I don't really want to talk about it. "
Elizabeth's cell phone started to ring and she glanced at the caller id and sighed as she answered it. "Lucky?"
"Where are you? With Drake?"
"NO! and I'm hanging up" she ground back at him, ending the call and switching the cell phone off. "God! I need to get back to work."
"Elizabeth?" Jason asked, concern etched on his face.
"No Jason it's alright I've got to go back."
"What time do you finish? I'll come back and take you for a ride on my bike." He offered.
"Oh God Jason you don't know how much I've wished you'd do that, but as soon as I finish my shift I have to go to my private nursing job." She admitted.
"You've taken a second job?" he asked astounded. Wasn't it enough she worked full time, looked after a toddler and that looser she was married too? "What the?" her roared.
"Please don't say anything. Just promise me you won't be a stranger" Elizabeth begged.
"Never" he vowed "I promise. "
Elizabeth reached up and quickly kissed him on the cheek in thanks before heading back towards the elevator. That guy really is a dick, Jason thought.
Elizabeth had only been back at the nurses station a short time when Carly stepped out of the elevator, spotted Elizabeth and approached her with her arms folded.
"Where's Jason?"
"Well hello to you too" Elizabeth replied sweetly. "and I don't know. The last I saw of him was in the cafeteria."
"When?"
"About 10minutes ago." Elizabeth replied starting to worry. "What's wrong?"
"You know I've been doing everything I can to put a stop to this war between Jason and Sonny over Emily. But I can't reach anyone. SO you need to step up Missy and make Emily give Sonny up." Carly sniped.
"I tried and she isn't happy with me now." Elizabeth replied evenly.
"Well you claim to be Jason's friend convince him to let them be." Carly bit back.
"Wait I'm Jason's friend? Are you kidding me?" Elizabeth ground out in exasperation. "At various times you've accused me of stalking Jason, imposing on Jason and using Jason. Now you expect me to believe that you accept we have a friendship and want me to use that friendship and help you out. How convenient for you! God you are the definition of selfish and unbelievable." Elizabeth was amazed at her audacity.
"Look I don't like this friendship you have with Jason but I'll do anything to stop this war." Carly bit back.
"Well how about this, be the friend you claim to be to Jason and butt the hell out" Elizabeth warned.
"You bitch" Carly snapped.
"NO that would be you." Elizabeth snorted "I have heard the same old tune from you for years. You and Jason are best friends and you are the only one who gets him. Well guess what? From where I sit, Jason may be YOUR best friend, but you are certainly not his. You are the one constantly running to him, imposing on him, using him. If he doesn't want to listen to you then I'm not going to ask him to. Now if you don't have hospital business I suggest you leave."
"Or I will call hospital security" Epiphany interjected.
"WHAT?" Carly snapped turning exasperated eyes toward Epiphany.
"You are a nuisance and you are disrupting the medical staff. Now leave or I won't call security I'll remove you myself." Epiphany threatened with a smile.
"Alright alright." She held hands of surrender up to Epiphany and then turned accusing eyes towards Elizabeth "Jason left 10minutes ago?"
Elizabeth nodded and Carly turned and headed towards the elevator.
"Thanks Epiphany" Elizabeth sighed
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Elizabeth had an hour to kill before she had to go to her private nursing job. She had bought herself a hot chocolate and muffin from Kelly's and she was heading to the docks for some fresh air. As she came to the steps she spotted Sam sitting on the bench. Elizabeth hesitated and turned to avoid Sam.
Hearing the footsteps Sam called out to her. "Elizabeth! Hi come join me."
"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked hesitantly. "You kind of looked like you wanted some solitude"
"No. Have you seen Jason?" Sam asked.
"Ahh yeah" Elizabeth stammered, first Carly now Sam? "he was at the hospital today and stopped to see how Lucky was doing."
"OH"
"Carly was looking for him too." Elizabeth added, not really knowing why.
"Yeah we've both been pretty worried about him" Sam replied.
"Why? He seems fine to me." Elizabeth asked in curiosity "I mean he said running the business is not really his thing but he feels it's necessary. I can't say that I blame him. I've spoken to Emily a few times and she's just blinded by love and refusing to see Jason's side."
"So you agree with Jason?" Sam asked suddenly.
"Well I didn't in the beginning but Jason explained it to me and then I spoke to Emily and she scared the hell out of me. So I tried to talk to her again. Jason can't talk to her he gets to emotional about it. The fact that Emily won't listen or believe in him has shattered Jason." Elizabeth rambled.
"hmmm..You seem to know a lot about it. Jason confides in you right?" Sam replied.
"Yeah well we've been friends a long long time" Elizabeth told her, starting to wonder if Sam was fishing for information.
"You dated too right?" she queried softly.
"ummm…Yeah I think I told you that before." Elizabeth told her.
"Yeah I think Jason mentioned it too." Sam clarified.
"He did?" Elizabeth asked surprised.
"Yeah…Jason's really mad at me, about a lot of things. I made a huge mistake when I wouldn't let Justus get Jason out of jail after the attempt on Sonny and Emily" Sam confessed.
"Why would you do that?" Elizabeth was astounded at Sam's confession.
"He was so mad I thought he needed to cool down. I was scared he'd hurt Sonny and then regret it." Sam's tone was defensive and Elizabeth wondered how many times Sam had said the same to Jason in defending herself.
"Wow that would have infuriated Jason." Elizabeth told her.
"Yeah..things aren't going to well with us at the moment." Sam sighed softly.
"Sam I don't think I'm the person you should be talking to" Elizabeth told her, the discomfort she felt apparent.
"Well I can't talk to Carly she'd just gloat." Sam stated.
"You should be talking to Jason" Elizabeth muttered as she made a move to stand up again. But Sam's firm hand on her arm stopped her.
"Elizabeth I don't know where the hell he is…" Sam whined.
Elizabeth was shocked to say the least, and thankful when her cell began to rin. Elizabeth excused herself and stepped away to take the call in private. This time Sam didn't stop her.
"Hello?"
"Elizabeth. it's Sonny I hate to bother you but I need to contact Jason. I know you two are friends and still close, so I thought I'd try you..actually Carly tells me she thinks you know where he is."
"Well I don't at this very minute. I already told Carly that. But I did see him earlier today."
"I thought he may have left town." Sonny replied.
"Well he never mentioned it" she told him.
"No I don't mean in the future I mean he's been missing for the best part of a week. He won't answer his cell and I was concerned about the business and not being able to contact him I thought he might be having problems with the other families or…" Sonny was rambling, something she hadn't heard Sonny do, except over Carly's miscarriage and Jason's gunshot wound many years ago.
Elizabeth was concerned enough to interrupt him. "Sonny you know he doesn't tell me about the business"
"OH yeah right um so you've seen him then?" he muttered.
"Well he's been to the hospital nearly every day Sonny…so he's been in town the whole time." She replied.
"Is he sick?" his tone sounded slightly hopeful, and Elizabeth felt her stomach lurch in reaction.
"No of course not" Elizabeth snapped
"He took my business you know." His tone was casual but there was an unnerving edge to it that made Elizabeth's skin crawl.
"Yes I know. I know things aren't good for you and Jason" she told him calmly.
"He's trying to ruin my relationship with Emily. I won't let that happen." He warned.
"He's scared for Emily the same way you were scared for Courtney." She soothed.
"Scared for who?" Sonny muttered distractedly.
"Sonny are you alright?" She queried, her concern seeping through her tone. It seemed to get through to him.
"Oh Emily. Yeah I know. OK..well next time you see him will you tell him to contact me urgently." He replied, his tone changing yet again.
"Sure" she replied but it was to dead air. Sonny had already hung up the phone. She hung up and looked at the phone in shock. Sonny sounded so weird like he was drugged or something. She approached Sam again. Sam hadn't mentioned that Jason had been missing.
"Sam when was the last time you saw Jason?" she asked curiously.
"When was the last time you saw him?" she snapped in accusation.
Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. She hadn't been wrong, Sam was fishing for information.
"Carly warned me not to underestimate you. Are you trying to cause problems for me and Jason?" Sam sniped.
"Get over yourself Sam. I don't need to cause problems you're obviously stupid enough to do that for yourself. When I'm with Jason he rarely brings you up." She informed her impatiently.
"Nice. Carly said your true colors would come out. You aren't protecting him from me you know..he needs me, he loves me" Sam spat.
Elizabeth thought "I don't need this right now" rolling her eyes glancing up to silently pray for strength. As she did her eyes skimmed the window of her old studio apartment and the movement at the window distracted her.
"I'm sure he does Sam but if you'll excuse me I have a job to get to." Elizabeth took her opportunity to leave. What was going on with Jason? Why would he disappear from the fab three's life for a week but remain in hers. There was someone in her old studio apartment watching her. Could it be Jason?
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Elizabeth's second job had dragged. Something had drawn her to her old studio building earlier in the day and she wasn't quite sure what, until she saw that movement in the window. Elizabeth was convinced it was Jason. But what was he doing there and why was he hiding out from Carly and Sam? After she left her second job she went to visit Cameron. She hated leaving him with her Grandmother, but at home with Lucky was no place for a small boy to be. She had intended to go home after visiting Cam but curiosity had got the better of her. After tucking Cam into his bed at Grams, Elizabeth had hurried over to the studio building and raced up the stairs and knocked on her old door.
From behind the closed door she heard Jason say her name. "Elizabeth?" The door opened and Jason reached for her hand pulling her through the door.
"Jason are you alright? What are you doing here? Sonny, Carly and Sam are all looking for you." She asked in concern.
"I know I needed to escape for a while." He told her, excited that she'd found him and that they were together again in her old studio.
"To my old studio? It's so small Jason." Elizabeth wondered out loud, in confusion.
"It's big enough." He assured her. "At least it was big enough for us. It's quiet and I was happy here. No pressure no expectations, I like it. It reminds me of you and when we lived here together. "
Elizabeth smiled at the memories. "You were shot Jason and not a very good patient."
"I was too a good patient" he denied.
"Uhah" her tone was light. She liked the fact that he had escaped here and the reason was because of his memories of them here together.
"I ate all my soup and besides if I was difficult it was because I was in pain. But I was still happy here with you." he clarified. He reached out to hold her hand, turning it over in his so he could massage the palm with his thumb.
"I was happy too. Scared to death you'd die on me, but happy otherwise." She smiled at the memories.
"What about the second time I stayed here?" he questioned.
"Oh well that time I was happy and confused." She confessed.
"I was never confused when I stayed here. I always knew what I wanted." He stated.
"But you weren't happy?" Elizabeth questioned, already knowing the answer but wanting him to admit it and blame her.
"No, not all the time. When it was just us I was happy." He told her.
"I hurt you." She stated sadly.
"Yes. When you wouldn't let what was happening between us just happen naturally, yes I was hurt. When you kept shoving Lucky in my face I was hurt. Then when you wouldn't leave with me, I didn't think anything could hurt that bad." He admitted, wanting her to understand how he felt then so it would make it more believable to hear how he felt now. "I thought about you while I was away. I thought about you the whole time. You are part of the reason I came back. I wanted to know how things had turned out with you and Lucky. Then at Kelly's that day when I came to see you, when you told me it was over with you and Lucky. I felt bad for your pain, but I was happy he was out of your life."
As he spoke he slowly moved closer so that by the time he'd finished his breath stirred the fine tendrils of hair framing her face. His hand moved to smooth them. He was so close he could have kissed her and he did. Softly on the lips, and hers parted in response. It was quick but sweet.
"Then you said you needed me and brought me up to this studio and seduced me." He watched the slight blush tinge her cheek and smiled "Man I had never been so happy. I think this is my favorite place on earth." He flashed her his sexiest smile and she responded by moving slightly closer herself.
"I was horrible to you that day. I jumped on you and then I backed out." She told him with regret.
"You weren't horrible to me. I wanted you Elizabeth, but to hear you say you wanted us making love to mean more than just a way to get back at Lucky. Well any disappointment I had momentarily felt was gone…kaput. You wanted more from me. That was the best thing I'd heard in a long, long time." He told her reassuringly.
"Jason I've got to go" Elizabeth muttered, she could feel herself giving in to his closeness and wishing that kiss had lasted longer.
"But you'll come back?" he demanded.
She smiled "Yes. When I can. Is your where abouts to be kept a secret?" she asked.
"Yes" he stated simply, no explanation offered.
"Even from Sam?" she clarified.
"Especially from Sam. We broke up but she won't accept it. She found her birth mother and thinks my feelings changed because of who she is. But that had nothing to do with it. We've been over a long time. But I loved her so I just kept hanging in there hoping the feeling would come back. I just worry about her that's all." He paused not wanting to talk about Sam "How's Lucky?"
"He's the reason I have to be going. He doesn't know about the second job, he'll be calling any minute to see where I am. OH and by the way he's no longer convinced I'm just infatuated with Patrick Drake, now he's convinced I'm involved in a full blown affair with him." She laughed half heartedly.
"YOU? God what drug is Lucky on? Man he should know better." Jason stated in amazement.
"What did you say?" Elizabeth asked in a daze.
"huh?" Jason queried
"You said "what drug is Lucky on?" something clicked in Elizabeth's brain. A reason for the change in Lucky.
"It was a joke Elizabeth" Jason apologized
"I know it was..but NO Lucky wouldn't still be taking those pain pills would he? He needs a prescription for them and I filled the last one for him weeks ago." She countered out loud.
"Well then it must be something else." Jason offered.
"Yeah…I got to go..Thanks Jason." She replied, thinking that maybe it was exactly what Jason had joked about.
"I didn't do anything" Jason replied in confusion.
"Yeah you did. You always do." she replied with emotion, as she stepped forward and he wrapped his arms around her. She reached up to put her arms around his neck. She thought he was going to kiss her on the cheek, but instead he aimed for her lips and moved slowly toward her. She could have avoided it but she didn't want to. She let him kiss her. Their lips opened and the kiss deepened. Elizabeth knew she was being selfish but she needed Jason to kiss her. It was so long since she had felt anything remotely like love and affection from Lucky. She craved Jason's affection, she always had.
Jason broke off the kiss his forehead resting against hers "Elizabeth you shouldn't let me kiss you like that unless you mean it." He told her breathless.
"I know I'm selfish but I wanted it." She replied just as breathless.
She stepped back and headed for the door. She didn't wait to see Jason's reaction. If she had she would have seen the smile plastered over Jason's entire face, his eyes were bright and he felt better and more hopeful than he had in a long time.
