My endless gratitude goes to the fabulous bloodofbeckie, my beta, who was pulling her hair out with all the demands of her incredibly busy life, yet was able to, once again, always be there for me and save my butt.
Thank you, mybrandofheroin, my grandbeta for all of your support and endless patience dealing with and listening to my constant needs and incessant whining. You are very special.
Many thanks go to purelyamuse, who forced me to rewrite all my goofs and incorporate her ideas, regardless of my bitching and moaning.
As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, I am merely a lowly parasite living vicariously with her characters.
The "I Know I'm Not Your Mother But…" Section
Just a note to those of you who may be under 18 and illegally reading this story; you are aware that the FBI has direct access to all readers of stories rated NC-17. They are authorized to track and incarcerate anyone who is underage and has illegally obtained and/or read this material. I just wanted you to be aware of what is coming your way when you are hauled off to the pokey under the eyes of your horrified family members and found guilty of a sex crime. Thank you.
Chapter 4 "I Should Be Canonized"
JPOV
It seemed like an endless drive to Charlie's house. Embry tore into the driveway and flew around to help me get Bella out of the car. I would have been grateful, but I knew his major concern was Ethel's interior, not the well being of the precious bundle in my arms.
"Made it!" Embry grinned.
I threw him a nasty look. "Just go on home, Embry. And hey, do you think for once you could keep your big trap shut about this?"
"Yeah, right," he snorted as he started to walk towards the woods. "Good luck, Jake. Hey, do you need any help getting her out of her clothes?" he taunted, laughing as he reached the tree line, well out of my reach.
I flipped him off as I grabbed some of my clothes out of Ethel and carried Bella into the house.
"Jakey," Bella moaned. Jesus, what now?
"Yes, honey?"
"I think I need another drink."
"No, baby. You've had plenty, believe me." I carried her up to her room so we'd be close to the toilet.
"I don't feel so good, Jacob," she whimpered.
"I know, sweetheart. Listen, let's get you out of your dress so we won't mess it up, okay?" This was going to be a freaking nightmare.
"Mmmm, you wanna take off my dress?" she giggled. Obviously, this idea wasn't upsetting her in the least.
"Yes, honey. If you get sick, you don't want to have it on, do you?"
"Nooooo, Jake. Take it off. Take it off! Take it allllllll off!" she slurred, laughing as she threw her arms around like that burlesque stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. Good Lord. I sat her on the edge of her bed. She flopped over, nose-diving for the floor as I caught her and laid her on her side. I got to her shoes first. Those sexy little sandals were so tiny in my hands. I slipped them off and rubbed her little feet.
She moaned, "Mmmm, Jacob, that feels soooo good. Keep going." Man, could I keep going! I rubbed her tiny arches as I sat her feet on my knees noticing that her little toenails were painted a ruby red. Who knew feet could be such a turn on?
I kissed one and picked up the other because it just looked good enough to eat. I kissed it and opened my mouth to graze my teeth along the side. Okay, so I knew I shouldn't have done it, but Jesus, I'd had a constant hard on for this girl for four years. For the first time, I was taking her clothes off. So what if she was drunker than a prom queen at an after-party? I could control myself, couldn't I?
I knelt on the bed over her body and found the zipper on her dress. I exhaled sharply and unzipped her. Hell on toast! The only other thing she was wearing was a pair of tiny little black lace panties. That was it.
I couldn't take my eyes off her nearly naked body and the vast expanse of Bella skin before me. Her beautiful back had been exposed by that fucking dress before, but now it was covered in nothing but waves of mahogany hair. Her tiny waist curved down to the finest ass I'd ever seen. The panties clung to sleek cheeks, which peeked out of the high cut sides. I made myself close my mouth. I would get a grip.
She had fallen over on to her chest, which was a good thing. I couldn't take looking at her breasts, I really couldn't. It was bad enough that I was going to have to touch her in order to undress her. I took a deep breath as I enfolded her tiny shoulders in my hands and smoothed the delicate straps down her arms.
I was able to gently extricate her arms and pull the dress down to her waist, but was left with the dilemma of how to remove it without touching her hips and stomach or tearing the fabric; it was impossible. I gingerly cradled her lower body in my arms and slipped the dress off.
My hands seemed to have a will of their own as they lingered on the silky cream of her stomach and thighs. I closed my eyes as I realized the fine-grained skin of her belly felt like the velvet covering a flawless, ripe peach. Fuck me! My hands were shaking by the time I got that damned dress off of her.
Okay, so self-control wasn't working. Think like a paramedic, Jake. This is nothing but the business of helping Bella, nothing else! I made myself focus and felt better. I looked around and found a huge t-shirt of mine she must use to sleep in. I decided it was smart to keep her chest down as I slid the t-shirt on her. I was able to complete this torment without seeing or feeling her breasts, thank God.
"Jake," she mumbled, her face in her bedspread.
"Yes, baby?"
"I think I'm gonna get sick," she moaned.
I'd been waiting for this. I hoisted her up carefully and rushed to the toilet, just in time. She started heaving and emptied her stomach right when we got there. I was thrilled to see her get rid of all of that god-awful rez moonshine and as I moved forward to flush the toilet, she leaned back. Before I could get to her, her poor stomach heaved once more, pouring out the last of its contents down the front of her shirt, all in her hair.
"Jake!" she wailed.
"It's okay, sweetheart. See, you got all of that crap out of you. You're going to feel lots better soon." I leaned her against the wall and while she was stationary, I quickly stripped off my clothes down to my boxers.
I sat her on the counter and filled a cup of water for her. "Rinse your mouth out, honey," I instructed. She followed my orders like a little child. I poured some mouthwash in her cup. "Okay, Bella, don't swallow this." As she awkwardly swirled it around her mouth again and again, I hid my smile. She was just so damned cute. I gently instructed her to spit it out and she did as I told her and then rested her forehead in the center of my chest.
"Alright, baby doll, we're going to get you in the shower and get all this mess off you." I stripped off her soiled shirt trying desperately not to think of what I'd uncovered. I carried her to the stall and turned on the water, warming it up. Her little face was ghostly white and she clung tightly to my neck.
"I feel awful," she gasped.
"I know you do. You'll feel so much better when we get you bathed," I promised her.
"Mmmm-hmmm."
I tested the water. It was strong and warm. I carried her in and let the stream pour down her back before carefully turning her into the jets. She pressed her head against my shoulder and seemed to revel in the cleansing spray. I tried to concentrate on her face and not let my gaze drift down to her arching back, but it was hopeless.
She groaned as she thrust her chest forward, trying to catch every drop of liquid on her gleaming skin. I literally gasped, actually shocked, as I took in Bella in all her glory. Her breasts were perfect, firm mounds topped with the sweetest bubble-gum pink nipples imaginable. The water sluiced down her skin, highlighting every move she made. The picture exceeded every erotic fantasy I'd ever had of her and in four years, I'd been very imaginative.
I tried standing her up on her feet so I could get her bathed as quickly as possible. She crumpled into my neck and those succulent breasts crushed against my chest. My body was so sensitized, I could feel every contour of her nipples as they teased my skin. Holy Mother of Jesus, how in the hell was I going to do this without attacking her?
"Bells, Bella honey, can you stand?"
"Idonthinso," she mumbled in my chest. I didn't think so either.
"Okay, baby, I'm going to sit you down on the floor and clean you up." I propped her up in the corner of the shower against the tile walls as I searched for soap and shampoo. She immediately slid to her side when I had my back turned. Sighing, I crouched over her and set her upright.
"Jake, what are you doing?" she mumbled.
"I'm going to wash you, honey, and get that stuff off of you."
"Jake, do you want me?" she whispered, her hand creeping up my thigh.
Cha-rist! Not this again. It was bad enough when she had her clothes on, I didn't know if I could take it with her practically naked in front of me, touching me. I could already smell her arousal.
"Yes, sweetheart, but let's get the puke off of you first." Maybe that would cool her ardor. In all honesty, it didn't cool mine. I could care less what she was covered in; I loved her and absolutely lusted for her. How pathetic was I? Drunk, almost passed out, and partially covered in vomit; I wanted her so bad I was afraid to touch her.
I started lathering the soap between my hands. Damn! Where was a washcloth? I really shouldn't touch that luscious skin with my bare hands. It would be much safer for both of us to have something between my soapy fingers and her wet body. God. Could anyone invent a torment worse than this? My erection felt like it was going to burst through the seams of my boxers and my hands were shaking so hard I didn't know how I was going to get through this frigging torture of Tantalus.
I wanted to bury my fingers in Bella. I wanted to palm and lick those sweet breasts and nipples. I wanted to rip off her panties, run my fingers in her delicious folds, put my head between her legs and drink the sweetest juice I'd ever smelled - God, how was I going to get a hold of myself? Yeah, that was a great question. Maybe I could just whank off here in front of Bella. I put my head down and whipped myself with my thoughts.
Bella needs you, you horny sack of shit. She needs you to help her, not lust over her and certainly not to rape her. You'd kill anyone having the thoughts you're having. Now get your shit together and get on with it!
I inhaled sharply and shook my head to clear it. I slipped behind her and pulled her between my legs. Since I didn't trust myself to clean her with my hands, I used the cake of soap to wash her. I tried to ignore the beauty under my fingers as I gently slid the soap over her breasts and down to her legs.
She started rubbing against me and moaned as I cleaned her. She was clearly starting to feel a little better. This was not good news for my peace of mind.
"Now, Jake?" she asked as she stretched her back and raised her arms over her head to grasp my neck behind her. "Do you want me now?" she whispered. Her breasts arched into my hands. I gasped for air frantically. Shit! Shit! Shit! What the hell was I going to do? I couldn't just run out of the shower and leave her. My mind was becoming blank as blood deserted my brain and pounded to my groin.
She slowly rolled over and faced me. She stared into my eyes as she draped her arms over my shoulders and then she deliberately straddled my lap, causing my erection to literally burst through the opening in my wet boxers. My raging hard on should have terrified her. I mean it was so enormous it scared the shit out of me.
Slowly, leisurely, she slid her black silk crotch along the naked length of my cock as her eyes locked onto mine. I lost myself in those huge, chocolate eyes as my hands slid down her waist and cupped the luscious cheeks of her ass. The scent of her arousal filled my nostrils in the steamy little shower. I could smell as well as feel the thick, warm juice flow from her core, soaking her panties with her fluids.
She rubbed those firm breasts against my chest and I could feel her pink nipples harden. Her lips skimmed up my neck to my ear and then she delicately nibbled down my jaw line until she reached my lips. Her eyes focused on mine as she slowly leaned into me and deliberately licked my lips.
"I want you, Jake, right now." She centered herself over my erection. I could feel everything through the thin, wet silk.
Bella kissed me softly and slipped her tongue in my mouth as she lowered herself so just the tip of my length entered her. The delicate fabric of her underwear clung to me as I felt my cock invading the hot, wet walls of her core. She gently ground herself clockwise on me as her tongue simulated the same actions. HOLY FUCK!!! Just the thinnest strip of silk separated me from the heaven I'd been fantasizing about for four torturous, fuckless years. I tried to keep my hips from bucking into her. I'd never wanted anything more than to rip off those damned panties and shove myself to the hilt in her sweet, tight passage.
I reached down to the liquid petals between her legs and shoved the offending silk to the side. She groaned and quickly resumed her torment, actually sliding her glorious, hot vagina down on my aching cock. Now there was nothing between us. I'd never felt anything remotely like it in my life. She was so wet, so hot, and so tight as she slowly slid down another inch of my throbbing member. The smell of her blood hit me in the face as I tore through her hymen. Holy Fucking Christ!
JAKE! SHE'S DRUNK! SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! YOU CANNOT DO THIS!!! I screamed at myself.
We had reached the point of no return. With a shaking hand, I stretched forward and turned the shower to cold. Ice-cold water poured over our heads and down our bodies. I was desperate. It was my only hope.
"JAKE!" she screeched. "It's freezing!" She jumped off me in her shock and I groaned in pain, feeling as if she'd ripped part of my soul from me. I drew in a deep breath.
"I know baby, but we both needed it. Now, you're going to turn around and behave and I'm going to shampoo your hair. But if you don't keep your hands and, uh, everything else to yourself, we're both going to get the ice shower, okay?"
"ALL RIGHT, Jake, just turn the warm water back on! Holy Crow!" She shivered as she turned around. I reached over, my hand still shaking, and adjusted the faucet. Thank God for that cold water. I'd been a goner…ice-cold water could do a number on a raging hard on. Trying to distract myself, I grabbed her shampoo and went to work on her thick hair, carefully scrubbing it and kneading her scalp. She sunk back into me and gradually relaxed as I worked in the shampoo. I could feel her breathing steady and deepen. I methodically massaged her head until I could tell she had drifted off to sleep.
My groin still throbbed but I was able to take calming breaths as I rinsed and conditioned her hair. I held my breath as I stripped off her panties and washed her sweet arousal off from between her legs. I didn't think I could stay in the same room with her with that smell. It was driving me insane.
As I sat behind her, I washed myself as well and did so reluctantly. I loved being covered in her essence and fluids, in fact being coated in part of her. I felt a possessive, feral heat rush through me at the thought that I'd been the first man to enter her, the only man to be in her. My jaws clenched. It was almost impossible to keep myself in check. I wanted desperately to lick her sweet, torn flesh, to taste every part of her, to taste everything I had done to her, to soothe any pain I caused. Fuck!
I lifted her out of the shower, dried her and brushed her hair as I tried to calm my raging lust, thinking of the sweet girl in my arms. She was going to feel like boiled crap in the morning. I didn't know what was going to be worse for her, her hangover or her memories. Hopefully, she wouldn't forget it all. I smiled and kissed her head. I seemed to have awakened a sleeping tiger with Operation Amy.
After I'd dried her hair as well as I could and laid her on her bed, I searched for thick, covering clothes for Bella. I found some granny panties, an old cotton bra, a heavy undershirt and the ugliest flannel pajamas I'd ever seen in my life. I bundled her up as heavily as possible because I wasn't about to take any more chances. She'd scared the ever-living shit out of me and tested my will power beyond all bounds. There was no way I could take any more. If she pulled that act on me while I was asleep, I'd be dead meat. I'd be in her to the hilt before either of us would know what had happened.
I thought it was in both of our best interests for me to relieve myself of the wood I still sported before I crawled into bed with Bella. I got back in the shower and sat down in our corner and relived the last few minutes.
This time, in my mind, I wouldn't stop Bella. She would climb on my lap and sink down on my cock sheathing it with the filmy, wet silk of her underpants. I would rip off those fucking panties and shove Bella roughly down to the hilt of my huge erection. I gripped myself as I remembered her heat, and her tight, wet pussy. Reality had been so beyond any fantasy I could have had. I imagined how I would thrust up in her, balance her on my tip and then slam her down again and again on my iron hard cock, as I would rock her sweet hips. And she would grip me so sweetly and tightly in that wet glove that seemed to be made just for me, for my cock. She was mine.
I imagined how I would churn in her, as I raised my hips, how I would feel her passage grip me. Her breasts would bounce and her pink nipples would trace patterns on my chest. I would cup those beautiful breasts and suck them as I fucked her so hard, she'd throw her head back and scream my name. I would feel her little channel grip my cock as she came. She would shutter and convulse. Her passage would clinch me again and again, clinging to me, milking me as I poured into her.
I spewed all over myself. I didn't think I'd ever stop coming; I had never come so hard in my life. But I'd had the real thing, for once. Never again did I just have to imagine what it felt like and smelled like to be in Bella; I'd been there. It was the sweetest place on earth and I'd get there again. I'd relive my shower fantasy, but next time for real.
I did feel some relief. Maybe I could get through the next hours of torture. I cleaned myself up and threw on all the clothes I'd brought in from the car. We were both going to cook in the layers of clothes I'd covered us in but we obviously couldn't sleep together without clothes, lots and lots of clothes. I didn't trust her, or myself. I didn't care what I had to wear; after what we'd been through, I wasn't about to give up this chance to hold Bella all night. I raised her window and let the cold February air pour in. I clamored into bed and reached over to snuggle Bella next to me. She smiled in her sleep and whispered, "I love you, Jacob." It had been one hell of a night.
Chapter End Notes:
What do you think is going to happen between Bella and Jake in the morning? Any thoughts? It's already written so I'm just wondering what you think will occur next. Of course, I'm never above shamelessly pilfering your great ideas.
Canonize
To declare a person to be a saint
To define someone as a saint
Accorded sacrosanct standing
Canonization
The final step in the process towards sainthood. Before a person is canonized, the Church must determine that God has worked a miracle through an individual's intercession.
/Archives/History
I've been informed that several explicit stories have been booted off of fanfic. Should this happen to "How to Seduce a Werewolf", you can find it at Twilighted(dot)net under the same title and author name.
