The HR Guy, Ralph
At one point in my life, I dreamed of my very own Sharon Stone. No, I wasn't thinking of any famous actress, but just a wonderful woman I've known and worked with for years. My name is Ralph Stone. I'm a friend of Sharon's, but I know Andy too. I work in HR for the LAPD, and I've had that job for over 30 years now. I've worked my way up the chain in my department and manage it now, which is a very large job. I've been asked for years now, when I might retire, and truthfully, I just enjoy my job. I enjoy talking to officers and other colleagues. I enjoy just being at work. I've met some wonderful people there, and Sharon is no exception.
I first met Sharon back when she joined the force. That's right; I've known her that long. I remember even Provenza from that long ago too, even though I never processed his paperwork. I just remember him because he became somewhat the joke of the office. He was constantly updating his beneficiary information with a new wife or a new divorce. Guys like that stick out. Anyway, back to Sharon, I processed all her paperwork when she joined the force. She was lovely, and yes, I remember meeting her way back when because her husband was in law school, while my now ex-wife was working in a firm as a paralegal. That was something we had in common, and we got to talking about that. I remember asking her what brought her to the LAPD. She shrugged and just said, "Money and stability." She told me that things were really tight with her husband in law school, and she had finished college recently. She wanted to attend law school too and was hoping to even go in the evenings once she got established at work. She was young too, just a few years younger than me, so we seemed to click. She was kind, and honestly, something about her, it just made me notice her.
I didn't see much of Sharon for over another year, and when I did, she came back to HR and asked for me. I'd told her during her initial in processing that if she ever needed anything to just see me. She remembered, which was impressive. She came to me, visibly pregnant, and she needed help processing her maternity leave packet. Once again, we found we had more in common. My wife was also pregnant, and as I spoke with Sharon, we found out the due dates were two weeks apart. I got the feeling from her that the baby wasn't exactly planned, not that I would ever have said, "So, baby was a bit of a surprise, huh?" I got that feeling though because she was nervous and very worried about finishing her probationary period with the LAPD. She was worried having the baby would put a lot in jeopardy, and with the level of concern she had, I just had the feeling the baby maybe came earlier in her career than was planned. Still, I spent over an hour with her, talking her through everything, and I remember she seemed much calmer after we finished. I also remember telling her to give me a call after she had the baby, so we could update all her personnel files and beneficiary information.
She called me a couple months later, and I remember smiling when I heard she'd had a baby girl, as my wife and I had welcomed one ourselves just a week earlier. I updated all her information to include Emily in everything, and we even laughed that our girls had similar names; my daughter is Emma. So, it was a nice surprise a couple months later when she returned to work that she stopped by my office to show me a picture of Emily. It was nice to have a friend at work, especially someone going through similar things at home with a newborn. I found a good friend in Sharon, a friend you could talk to easily even with months and months between. After that, I didn't hear from her for a couple years. I saw her, on occasion, in the building, but neither of us ever had time for much more than a smile and a quick greeting. It was just over two years later, I found her back in my office in a similar situation; she was pregnant again and in need of help with her paperwork. By this time, I had been given a promotion and would not technically have been assigned to Sharon's division, but I was happy to help her. It wasn't like we were banned from helping anyone, but I think she appreciated my helping her just as much as I appreciated Sharon trusting me as a friend to make sure her paperwork was done correctly. We spent a long time, that morning, talking and catching up on the girls. I could tell she was a great mom; her face lit up at any mention of Emily. She enjoyed looking at the pictures I had on my desk of Emma. While I had not met Emily, I felt like I knew her, and I think Sharon felt the same way. I remember Sharon had Emily in daycare at her church, while Emma was in daycare at the firm where my ex-wife worked.
Yes, my ex-wife. That happened not too long after all of that. I know because Emma had turned three shortly before my life just fell apart. Emma's daycare had called one afternoon saying she had a fever. Normally, my wife was the first one in line to check on her, seeing as the daycare was at her work, but the daycare had been unable to contact of my wife. So, I left work to get Emma, and I made my way up to her office to let her know that I was taking Emma home. Well, it was the typical, cliché affair. My wife was having an affair with one of the lawyers, and I hate to say that I caught her in the act. That's why she was unable to get Emma. Needless to say, my world fell apart, and I started the process to separate and divorce.
During all this, I remember helping Sharon again with her personnel packet after Ricky was born, but the biggest surprise came another year or so later, just after my divorce had been finalized when she stopped by and asked if she could make additional updates to her paperwork.
"Ralph," I remember hearing her call out my name and smile at me before she cleared her throat, "do you have a minute? I have some HR questions again."
"Your very own HR rep is here and ready to assist," I remember saying to her and smiling up at her. "Please, have a seat."
Sharon nodded and sat. She was usually quiet, direct, but quiet. She sat, folded her hands in her lap, and she looked me in the eye, "I need to make some changes. I would like to remove my husband from as many of the documents as possible, mainly the financial ones, as well as anywhere he is listed as a beneficiary."
I remember looking at her, and I know my face had to show my shock. I could tell she was embarrassed. She was fidgety and looking away. She clearly felt like she had something to be ashamed of just by sitting there in my office. I remember trying to just be professional, knowing that she needed that; she'd come to me in a work capacity.
"Sure, we can do that," I said and started to pull out the paperwork she would need. She surprised me again when she blurted out everything right then.
"I'm filing for a legal separation from my husband. I don't want him to have access to any of my money, here, specifically any sort of benefits should something happen to me. You can make sure of that, right?" Sharon asked, and when I looked at her, I could see the pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I haven't wanted to talk about this with anyone, but I guess here at work, it's different somehow. I feel like you can help me with this. I don't mean to dump on you."
In that moment, I still remember just nodding at her and offering her a sympathetic smile, "You didn't dump on me. Sadly, I just went through much of the same process."
I still remember that day because we spent the next two hours talking. It felt good to talk about my mess, and I think she felt the same way. It felt good to talk to someone about it, someone who wasn't in the middle of it, but someone who understood through a similar experience. She was dealing with two small children, and I remember thinking how hard that must be. I had just Emma, and with our split custody arrangement, I only had her half the time. I think we walked away, that day, both feeling a bit better about our situations and feeling that life wasn't so hopeless. Once again, she was a great friend, and I hope she felt the same. She was removed enough from my mess, she was easy to talk to about everything. I think she felt that same way. By the end of our talk, I had all her paperwork ready to process as well. I feel like if I did anything for her that day, it was that I gave her a sense of relief and peace. She could start to get her life back on track.
Life continued, and I didn't see much of Sharon for awhile. As I said, I ran into her in the building on occasion, but we weren't the kind of friends to go get a drink or a bite to eat. We were more like colleagues who spent time catching up when our paths would cross. I always kept up with the department promotion lists, and I remember seeing her name a few times, both for promotions and then a transfer to FID. I always though of just how tough and honorable she was; Sharon was a good cop who had the respect of many.
Over the years, Sharon held my respect. There was just something about her. I admired how hard she worked. It wasn't easy then to be a woman in the department. Anyone could see that, and to add to it, she was basically a single mom. I think some of my admiration turned to attraction because I still remember a day I ran into her. I had had a very long day at work and just wanted to go home. I was renting an apartment near downtown, really near my ex-wife so that we could easily share custody of Emma. In all this, I have thought of what is best for Emma. I wanted her to have as normal of a childhood as possible. So, after my long day, I just wanted to go home, but it wasn't my week with Emma, so I knew that I didn't have a lot of food in my refrigerator at home. I decided to stop at the local diner for a quick bite to eat before going to the apartment. Now, I lived about 20 minutes from work, and I settled on the diner in my neighborhood. Imagine my surprise to look up from my dinner and see Sharon and her kids walk into the place! I caught her eye just after she got the kids settled in a booth. The kids weren't very old, maybe 7 and 4 or just a bit older, but I caught her eye after she got the kids settled. I watched her order. We both waved, and then I stood to walk over and say hello to her.
"Sharon, it's really nice to see you," I remember saying to her and smiling at the kids and at Sharon. "Wow, at long last-these must be your kids!"
"Ralph, lovely to see you too. Yes," she grinned. Sharon always grinned when talking about her kids. "This is Emily and Ricky, in the flesh. Kids, can you say hi to Mommy's friend from work, Mr. Ralph?"
"Hi, Mr. Ralph," Emily said easily. She didn't even look up from her coloring sheet.
"Hi," Ricky yelled, and I saw Sharon give him a look, one he understood because he quickly looked away. I chuckled.
"Well, it's nice to put names on paper to faces. Do you live around here?" I asked her. I'd never noted her address on her paperwork, and I'd never run into her in the area.
"Oh, no," Sharon shook her head and gestured to Emily, across the table from her. "Emily takes dance right down the street."
It was then I noticed Emily was dressed in a ballerina outfit, whatever the right terminology is for that. Sharon and I spoke for a few more minutes. I explained I lived in the area, and as we were finishing our conversation, I remember deciding to take a chance.
"Say, Sharon," I stammered and tried not to roll my eyes. I hoped that I didn't sound as nervous as I felt. "I know you are very busy with work and these two," I gestured to the kids. "Would you be interested, though, sometime in going out? We could catch a bite to eat that isn't hotdogs or chicken nuggets and maybe even a movie?"
"Oh!" I remember Sharon exclaiming and looking quickly to the kids. Thankfully, I remember the two were very engrossed in their drawings. "Well, ahh," she blushed. I can still see her blushing. "I'm still married."
"Married? Oh, you are? I'm so sorry," I remember shaking my head and raising my hands in defense. "I had no idea. It's been so long. You processed that paperwork now years ago, and I didn't see a ring on your hand right now. I'm really sorry."
"Please, do not worry about it," she gave me a small smile. "My life isn't exactly simple. I am still legally separated and have been for a few years now. It's complicated. My rings," she shrugged and continued, "I wear sometimes. I probably need to wear them more often to avoid confusion."
"I hope this doesn't make work awkward," I remember telling her.
"Nonsense," she shook her head. "I'm quite flattered," she nodded at me. We talked a few more minutes before her food arrived, and then I left her with the kids. She was right; work wasn't awkward. I saw her not long after that when she brought one of her colleagues to me needing some help. My asking her out was not brought up then, and it seemed to be forgotten. I realized, though, that I found her very attractive and wished she was divorced. That day, I noticed she had on her rings; I had no idea how long she hadn't worn them, but they were back on her hand that day.
The years went by, and one day, as I was walking back to the building from my lunch break, I ran into her again. As I've said, we would see each other in the building, and after that diner run-in, I always saw Sharon wearing her rings. This particular day, I know Emma was turning 13 because I had spent my lunch hour going to the jewelry store to buy her a necklace. As I walked back to the office from the jewelry store, I spotted Sharon walking down the street, this time with a man. They were talking and walking, and from where I was, there was no way to avoid her. I hadn't really talked to her in years, and so I really didn't know what to expect.
"Ralph, so nice to see you," she smiled at me as we approached each other.
"Sharon, it's been awhile," I nodded to her.
"Yes, umm, this is Jack," she gestured to him. "He's my, my husband."
"Ahh," I nodded. "Jack, nice to meet you. I work in the building."
"Everyone around here does," Jack lightly chuckled as the two shook hands. "Just trying to sweep my wife off her feet with a surprise lunch," Jack winked at me. I just nodded.
"Well, I need to get going. It was great to see you, Sharon. I am off to buy a necklace for Emma's birthday," I told them.
"Oh, that's right!" Sharon exclaimed and smiled. She turned to Jack, "Ralph's daughter is the same age as Emily. We discovered that long ago." Jack just nodded, and Sharon looked back at me, "I hope she has a great birthday. Emily asked for new ballet shoes for her birthday," she chuckled.
"I hope she has a great birthday too," I nodded. "Nice to see you."
After that, I assumed Sharon was on the in and out with her husband, and I certainly didn't want to figure that out or get in the middle of it. I got a vibe from Jack that day. Maybe I knew he'd been horrible to Sharon, but something just struck me as odd. I didn't see Sharon for a few more years, and then, one day, she called down to my office.
"Could I speak to you about some beneficiary changes, please?" she asked me.
"Sure, do you want to stop by my office? I've been promoted and am now one of the department heads," I told her.
"Oh, congratulations! I'm working my way up FID too. I can stop by, but I was hoping you could make the changes to the paperwork, and then I can just stop by to sign? I'm sorry; I shouldn't be asking you to do this."
"Sharon, I will always help you. What do you need?" I asked her.
"I appreciate it. Emily is now 18. I would like to make sure that there is no clause on my paperwork. She isn't a minor, so I would like to have the paperwork updated to reflect that," she told me.
"Okay, sure, so the rest stays the same?" I asked.
"Correct. My life hasn't changed. The rest stays the same," she told me.
And, that was how I knew she was still legally separated from Jack. I helped her that day, and again, I didn't speak much to her for another seven or eight years. By then, she was running FID, and I was now the head of HR. I was well beyond the basic paperwork, but I didn't hesitate to help her when she emailed me. She actually emailed me to see if I had a suggestion about an HR rep to help her with some changes to her information. In her email, she acknowledged she knew I was in charge and didn't need to be bothered with her "simple" as she put it, paperwork issue. I emailed her back and told her I would always do her paperwork. I invited her to stop by anytime, and then two days later, I found her knocking at my door while my secretary was out to lunch.
"Sharon! It's been a long time," I stood and smiled at her. I gestured for her to enter, and she did. We shook hands, and I nodded for her to sit.
"I need to see about making a change," she told me. "As you know, Emily and Ricky are grown. They are long off my insurance, but I need to see about adding on someone else." I raised my eyebrows at her before she continued. "I've taken in a teenager," she cleared her throat, "Rusty. I know legally I don't have to do anything for him, but he's been with me a few months now. I'd like to see about what can be done for him if something happened to me. I know he'd go back into foster care, but I'd like to at least see if there is a resource or two I could change to leave him enough money to finish school. I know I can do this with my will, but I wanted to check on my death benefits here too."
I smiled and nodded. "Let's see what we can find."
I think my respect for Sharon grew even more that day. I felt like we reconnected. We talked for over an hour, and I learned that she had transferred from FID to Major Crimes. I don't know how I missed that, but she said the transition happened quickly. I'd heard about the issues with Chief Johnson, but honestly, I just hadn't kept tabs on it. So, we talked. We caught up again, with our lives and those of the kids. One critical thing I noticed that day-she wasn't wearing her rings, and at no point, did she mention her husband being involved with Rusty. I didn't want to pry; I didn't pry. I helped her with her question, and after we shared our stories, we went back to our lives.
Imagine my surprise, what, maybe a year or two later, when she called me again, "I am going to adopt Rusty and would like to drop off new paperwork I have. Are you sure you want to process all my paperwork? You're the head of the division!"
"Sharon, we've come this far. I'll be glad to handle it," I told her. Oh, I was so glad too because in that pile of paperwork she brought me, I came across her finalized divorce papers. She had those in there with the paperwork to officially add Rusty as a beneficiary. She'd put a note on all of it that she wanted it all together in case Jack every challenged it should something happen to her. When she stopped back later that afternoon to sign the forms I had drafted, I tried again. It had now been a couple of decades since I'd last asked, and I had hope she would accept.
"Sharon, I have known you a long time. I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I like you a lot and have for a long time. I know you are divorced. Would you now be interested in going out with me?" I asked her.
"Oh," she was bent over the desk, signing the paperwork. She looked up; her eyes met mine, and I saw her bit her lip. "Ralph, it's not that you aren't a wonderful man; you are," she smiled at me. "I think the best thing I can say is that I don't want to mix business and pleasure. I hope that's not a problem."
"No," I replied easily and smiled at her. She was a wonderful person. Even when she was turning me down, I couldn't help but smile. "It's no problem. You've always been extremely professional here."
She nodded, "I know it's not against any rules, but you and I," she shrugged, "I think it's best we stay friends."
"Understood," I smiled. We chatted about her adopting Rusty, and then she left for the day. I ran into her with Rusty in the building not long after that. I could see she loved that kid too. Anyone she loved was lucky to have Sharon. She has always been an amazing person.
Shortly after that, I thought about retiring becauseI had a heart attack. It wasn't a major one, thankfully, but it was still a heart attack. Emma tried to convince me to retire and move closer to her home in Salt Lake City, but I didn't know what I would do without my job. So, I continued to work, and my health improved after I changed up my eating habits and workout routine. My next encounter with Sharon came another year later, almost at Christmas, and I'm surprised it didn't cause another heart attack.
She called to my office again to ask for an HR person to help one of her detectives. I told her to send him my way, and a half hour later, Sharon appeared with him in my office.
"Ralph, it's been a long time," Sharon smiled and walked into the room. She and I shook hands before she turned to introduce me. "If you haven't met before, this is Lieutenant Andy Flynn. I hate to bother you with this paperwork. I know you have a staff for this."
"Always glad to help you, Sharon. Lieutenant Flynn, what can I do for you?" I asked. I had never met him, but I'd heard his name in the building over the years.
"First, it's Andy," he smiled as he and Sharon sat across from my desk. "I've had an accident recently, and now that I'm back at work, I need to update some paperwork myself. Sharon said you were the best."
Hearing him call her Sharon set off one warning sign, but I knew the two worked together. Andy handed me his paperwork, and I briefly glanced at it. "Oh, this is easy. You're updating your power of attorney we keep on file here as well as some beneficiary information, correct?"
"Yeah, that's it," he nodded. I saw him glance to Sharon.
"We are both updating that," Sharon added. "I put my paperwork in there too."
"Yeah, takes a life scare to get you," Andy chuckled lightly.
"Oh, I know," I said. "I had a heart attack awhile back. Trust me."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Sharon frowned. "I hope you are okay now."
"Much better," and I looked to Andy. "I hope you are feeling better, Andy."
"Yeah, much better. Sharon's taken good care of me," he said. At that moment, as he was speaking, I was looking over the paperwork. I don't know why it didn't click until then, but I noticed Andy had listed Sharon, and Sharon had listed Andy for most of the paperwork. I suppose I was still stuck on her comment about mixing work with pleasure, but I looked up and found him looking at her. The look, I just knew. They were together.
"Okay, yes, this will be no problem. Sounds like you are both doing well?" I asked.
Sharon and Andy both stood. She nodded, "Yes, things are improving." We talked another couple minutes before they left, but as they did, I thought about what a lucky man Andy Flynn was. He'd done the impossible, at least to me. He'd attracted the interest of Sharon.
It didn't surprise me at all to hear the two had gotten engaged, and I was very happy to receive a wedding invitation. Sharon has been a good friend over the years. As I look around this church, I know many of the faces, even if not by name, by sight, from work. We were never meant to be a couple. I know that, and I am very happy for her. I've never stalked her, not in the least. That's not what the last three decades have been about, but we've just helped each other along the way. I'm looking forward to seeing her kids, all three of them, as I've heard about them through the years. I'm glad to see Sharon is happy. Since that meeting where I was introduced to Andy, I've run into them in the building. They are always smiling at each other, and I just nodded to myself the first time I saw her walking with another ring on that hand. Sharon Raydor. I'm one of the few who has had the pleasure to have known her a very long time. I am going to joke with her a little when I see her today and tell her that I expect to process her marriage paperwork in the office next week. Knowing Sharon, she won't take much time away from work, even for her own wedding. Yes, this is a good day, a great day. She's found a man, even after the not "mixing business and pleasure" comment. Sometimes, life just surprises you.
