May 1987
After I got back from Milwaukee, I began to question whether or not I should keep this baby. With my new job, I didn't know if I would have enough time to take care of him or her. He or she would also grow up without knowing their father. That was, unless, I told Eric about them. After many failed attempts, I got up the nerve to call the Forman's and ask them for Eric's number in Milwaukee.
"Sure honey. It's 414-879-6439, but I should tell you that he's engaged. But remember that you're always welcome here, and I am really sorry that things didn't work out between you and Eric." I wish that I could have told Mrs. Forman that I was pregnant. She would have loved that child to death.
"Me too. Thank you so much Mrs. Forman." Her words had brought tears to my eyes.
I called Eric's, praying that he would answer the phone instead of his fiancée. Unfortunately, that prayer was not answered.
"Hello?" she answered, sounding pissed off.
"Um, hi, is Eric there?" I said nervously.
"That depends. What's your name?" Crap. I knew that she hated my guts and would never in a million years let me talk to Eric.
"This is Donna. Look, I know that you don't like me, but I really need to talk to Eric."
"Well, you can't. He's marring me, and as long as that's happening, you're not allowed to see him or speak to him. If I ever catch you doing either of those things, I swear that I will kill you. So back off bitch, he chose me."
There was a click and dead silence. I made up my mind right then. I had to get an abortion. If Sarah found out that I had gotten pregnant, she would not only kill me, but would probably take the baby and raise it as her own, and I would never want my child to be raised by somebody so cruel. I called Planned Parenthood, and it turned out that the waiting list to get an abortion was almost a month. Dammit. I didn't need time to think about this.
. . .
I awoke to the sound of a car horn screeching below my window. Today was the day of my abortion. I wanted to take a cab to Planned Parenthood to avoid seeing anyone, but ironically 6th avenue was blocked because of a Pro-life parade. I tried to not let them get to me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that getting an abortion was the wrong thing to do.
He or she already had a beating heart. It also might have nerve receptors, so it could feel pain if someone was touching it. It's Eric's baby and the only piece of him that I had left.
On the train, there was an anti-abortion ad across from where I sat. It had an ultrasound picture of a baby and a caption that read "Mothers, behold your son".
I began to cry. I couldn't do it. He or she deserved to have a life, and I knew that I would love this baby. It was made with the only man that I will ever truly love.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Do you need a tissue?" It was a woman with medium length jet black hair. I nodded, unable to speak because I was practically sobbing. She handed me one. "What's wrong?" she asked.
I told about everything: how I was pregnant, how the father was engaged to another girl, how she had basically told me to go screw myself when I tried to contact him again, and how I was on my way to get an abortion.
"I think that you should keep it. I mean, I've only known you for like 2 minutes, you seem like a really awesome person. And even though he's not with you, you love Eric and you'll love this baby because it's his and not just some random guy off the streets." This was some of the best advice I had gotten about anything in my whole life, and I was said to me by somebody that I didn't even know.
"Thank you, you're right. I'm going to keep my baby. Maybe I can ask Planned Parenthood to cancel my abortion and let me get an ultrasound instead."
"Hey, if you want, I can come with you, for moral support,"
"Thanks that would really help me. I'm Donna by the way."
"Jean. It's a pleasure to meet you."
We spent the rest of the train ride talking about ourselves. Jean is a lesbian and lives in Park Slope with her partner Maria. They have a 7 year old daughter that they had adopted from Canada and were currently trying to adopt a boy from Japan.
After what seemed like forever, we arrived at Planned Parenthood.
"Hi, I'm Donna Pinciotti. I'm scheduled to have an abortion at 10:30, but was wondering if I could have an ultrasound instead."
"Yes, that's perfectly fine. Wow, you're the third woman today to do that. That Pro-life rally downtown must really be getting to people." The receptionist handed me some paper work to fill out.
"So, can you find out what the sex of your baby is today?" Jean asked me.
"No, you can't find out until you're about 5 months in," I replied. I may have wanted to get an abortion, but that didn't stop me from reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting".
"Oh, do you want to know?"
"Yeah because it'll help me decide what kind of clothes to buy and names and stuff like that,"
"Miss Pinciotti, are you ready?" the receptionist asked. I took in a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm ready."
Jean held my hand as I watched the screen. There was my baby. He or she looked so beautiful, so happy. I could hear the heart beating. It sounded like a little train racing by.
I started to cry, this time because I was happy. I made a promise right then and there that I would love this kid no matter what they did, and I'm sure that if they ever met Eric that he would love them too.
