I widen my eyes in sudden realization. Me, Eric Theodore Cartman, the one who tried to exterminate the Jewish culture, is in love with a Jew! I look down at the boy in my lap and gently sit him in the snow, before getting up, and running for my life. I don't know if I can do this! It's hard enough to be gay and accept it, but gay for Kahl, I don't know! I start to shake. Why, out of everyone I could be gay for, why Kahl. Why not Stan, or Craig, or even Tweek! I begin to look back at the Jew as he tails me.
"Eric! Where the hell are you going!" I look back at him. I look at him teary eyed and plead for him to leave me alone. He looks me in the eyes and his eyes show shock.
"Eric..." He says, walking up to me. I back up a few steps.
"Kahl! Stay away from me!" I scream, running toward the only place I know he wont find me, my old house. Of course it is empty, but it holds a sort of comfort I can't find anywhere else. It also has the one thing I need in it. I walk inside, out of breath, and begin to go to the bathroom wall. I break the surface and find my gun. I smile, loading the pistol, before I walk back outside. I shove the gun in my pocket and begin walking over to Kenny's house. I knock on the door.
"Y-yes?" A drunken Stuart asks. I smile politely.
"May I speak to Ken?" I ask. He nods, stumbling out of my way. I walk upstairs to the boy's room, gun in hand, ready to shoot.
"Ken..." I say, whispering.
"Yeah Cartman?" He says. I point to the window. He sighs and we walk outside.
"Let me guess, you want to kill me?" He says. I sigh and nod. He backs up and I take out my gun. That's when Butters runs into the picture.
"Eric! Don't!" He yells. I glare at him.
"Butters..." I say, menacingly. He quivers, fidgeting with his shirt. I sigh and try again.
"Butters!" I yell loudly. He yelps. I smile. He snuggles into Kenny.
"Please don't let him shoot you Ken..." Butters cries into Kenny's chest.
"It's okay Butters." Kenny says. Ken kisses Butters firmly of the lips. "Now go Butterball." He says.
"Butters, I have to shoot him." I say after Kenny. He sighs and moves out of the way.
"Thank you Butters." I bring the gun out and point it to Kenneth's head and pull the trigger, not expecting the blonde boy to push Ken out of the way, and get shot.
"Shit!" I scream. No matter how gay Butters was, I would always care for the fragile boy. He screamed. I ran over to the shaking boy and lifted him with ease.
"Butters, I told you not to interfere." I said, carrying him to Ken's old truck. Kenny gladly hurried off to the hospital with the blonde. I sighed and walked back to my 'home'. As soon as I opened the door, Kahl hugged me tightly.
"I-I heard a gunshot... I t-thought you were d-dead..." The Jew sobbed into me. I shushed the crying boy.
"I didn't get shot Jew. You should go upstairs and go to bed." I said, voice sounding partially annoyed, when in all reality I was beaming inside. He nodded and walked upstairs. When I was sure he was in his room I sighed and sunk onto the couch.
"What the fuck am I going to do..." I questioned myself. I let out a sob and buried my face into the couch. Whoever said I was emotionless was wrong because the realization of my love ripped me in half. Sometimes I feel it would be easier if I didn't have emotions, or if I was dead. I thought back to my knife in my backpack upstairs.
"No." I said to myself. I promised I would give that up. I opened up the fridge and looked inside. I found what I was looking for easily. I took out a beer and sighed as the cool liquid went burning sweetly down my throat. I heard footsteps behind me as the smaller Canadian child came up behind me. He was around 12 now. I smiled and greeted him as sweetly as possible.
"Hi little Canadian Jew." I said, he rolled his eyes.
"Throw me one of those." I looked at him.
"No." He began to snicker.
"I'll just have to tell Sheila..." He says. I huff, and give him the beer. He smiles and we sit on the couch. Six beers later I was spilling.
"So... so I-I'm gay." I say. He nods, looking me in the eyes.
"Who do you like?" The somewhat sober Ike asks.
"K-Kahl... that Jew-Fag." I say. He smiles happily at this discovery.
"So, when are you going to stick it in him?" Ike asks. I laugh rather loudly.
"N-Never! T-t-t-the Jew don't like me that way." He frowns. He begins going to the kitchen to throw away our beer bottles.
"Well, talk to me again sometime if you have problems Nazi-Fag..." Ike says. I nod drunkenly and walk upstairs into Kahl's room.
"J-Jew." I said. He looked up tiredly and noticed I was drunk.
"Holy shit Cartman! You need sleep." He said. I nodded slowly. He opened his covers. I smiled and snuggled into bed with him.
"Night Kahl..." I said, drifting off. I wrapped my arms around him and he fell asleep in my embrace.
"Night Eric." I felt a warmness on my forehead and I fell asleep. I heard voices around me. I opened my eyes slightly and saw Ike talking to Kahl.
"He was up with me all night. We drank together. He is a truthful drunk."
"Why were you up drinking!" My head stung as he yelled.
"Hey..." I say, feeling like shit. I roll up my sleeves to scratch my arms.
"Holy shit!" Kahl screams.
"What?" I say, but soon realize my sleeve is up. I sigh.
"Oh... that..." I sigh.
"Yes that! What the FUCK is wrong with you? What the HELL is THAT?" I wince at the anger in his eyes.
"Nothing..." I whisper, ashamed.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NOTHING!" He screams. I wince and back away from the angry boy.
"It's nothing..." I say. He looks like he is going to explode.
"ERIC!" He screams. I sob loudly. He looks at me and his eyes soften as he notices how broken I am. He looks me over and sits next to me.
"Kahl... like I said before... THIS-" I say, pointing to my arm. "Is NOTHING of your concern!" I scream in his face. He sighs and looks at me.
"Eric, the hell it isn't! It is my business if you are doing it in my house!" I sigh.
"I never did it at your house KAHL!" I yell, getting up. "AND LIKE HELL IF I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU!" I run to the bedroom and grab my old switchblade. It's his fault I am going back to this! I drag the blade into my skin and wince. I feel it open two old scars. I smile as the blood drips down my arm. Maybe I am a psychotic bitch, but right now, I don't give a fuck. I smile as I repeat the action, twice as hard as normal, I feel myself passing out. I smile. Kahl runs in and grabs my arm, holding my blanket over it to stop the bleeding. I quiver and begin crying, dropping the knife. I am so confused, so much is going on in my life. What the hell is wrong with me! I shouldn't be here, crying like a baby with blood running down my arm, I should be well put together. I should be smiling, torturing my Jew, not madly in love with him! I look Kahl in the eyes and see he is crying.
"J-Jew... what the fuck is wrong with me? I honestly don't know anymore..." I sigh and take my arm out of the blanket, walking into the bathroom to bandage the bloody mess. I sob and sink to the floor. Kahl comes in seconds later and cradles me.
"Shh... its okay Eric..." He says. I smile and look up at him.
"Maybe we can be friends, Jew." I said. He returns my soft smile.
"Maybe we can..." He says, continuing to hug me. We sit there like that for god knows how long. We just sat there and talked about nothing. At one point of time I think we even talked about Stan. We both sigh, content with how our relationship is being.
"Aren't we going to come out of the bathroom?" He asks.
"Nah, why should we. It's comfortable in here." I respond. He smiles, happy with my response, as we enjoy eachothers company. I really do love Kahl sometimes. He can go from angry to happy in a spit second. He sighs and looks at my arm. I look at him.
"It's okay Jew." I say, he looks at me.
"No it's not okay Eric. It could get infected." I chuckle.
"Leave it to the Jew to be worried about my health..." I say, trailing off.
"Hey! I just worry about you sometimes!" I smile brightly at the boy. At least he admits that.
"Well, who says I didn't worry about you?" I ask. He sighs, shaking his head. I laugh as his hat falls off.
"That hair!" I scream out in laughter. He puts his hat back on quickly, blushing. I smile once again. Why am I so happy around him.
"Eric, you need to respect my hair." He says. I grin.
"And you need to respect my authoritah!" I yell. We both break out into laughter at this. I hear Ike walk in.
"Hey fags. Mom sent me to tell you dinner was done!" Ike says. I smile lightly and we walk downstairs together. I make sure I look presentable before sitting at the large table. I look at what we are having.
"What are those?" I ask, pointing to the circle food in front of me. Sheila smiles.
"Those are Latkes." I look at them, confused.
"What are they, potato pancakes?" I ask. She smiles brightly.
"Exactly." I look at it and lift it to my lips, taking a bite out of the foreign food. I smile. Its not that bad.
"These are good Sheila." I say. She smiles lightheartedly at me. I continue to eat the Latkes. As soon as dinner is over me and Kahl walk back upstairs. Kahl sits down on his bed with me.
"How do you feel about me?" I ask. He widens his eyes and blushes.
"I feel for you like a friend, of course, why would you ask Eric?" He says rushed.
"One, because you started to call me Eric. Two, because you blush around me." He smiles and throws a pencil at me.
"How do you feel about me Eric?" I widen my eyes. I think about what I should say. Maybe he does like me and won't admit it. Then he would be hurt if I denied him. On the other hand maybe he doesn't like me and if I said the truth he would murder me. I sigh. Decisions are so hard. I look Kahl in the eyes.
"Do you want the truth?" I ask. He nods. Face looking at me in great concentration. I look up at him, feeling like my heart is in my throat.
"Well, I think I love you."
