Due to the broken test chamber and Chell's detour, the trio was locked in their living area. And man, were they bored.
They were currently sitting in the kitchen. Wheatley, for some reason, was looking through a random cookbook to kill time.
"I HAVE AN IDEAAAA!" He suddenly yelled, jumping up and accidentally throwing the cookbook. It landed on the table with a loud slap, then slipped off onto the floor.
Chell, who had apparently been half-asleep, stared at the book blankly and muttered, "What…?"
"I… have found… the answer!" Wheatley replied mysteriously, "To our boredom, I mean."
"Anything to kill time," Glados muttered, standing up, "What is it moron?"
Wheatley picked up the book, flipped to a page, and shoved it in her face. "WE SHALL MAKE A CAKE!"
Glados slapped the book away from her. " A what?"
"Yeah! A cake!" Chell said excitedly, suddenly full of energy. She turned to Glados, "You've always promised cake!"
"The cake was just a motivational tool," Glados replied seriously, "There was never a cake."
"I know, that's why we should make one!" Chell went on.
"I think we have all of the ingredients, too," Wheatley prompted.
Glados face palmed. She had a distinct feeling that this wouldn't go well. She's been right for the last two chapters, after all.
"Fine. Just don't expect me to help," Glados said, sitting back down.
This should be interesting, both Glados and GLaDOS thought.
"Oookay, the first ingredient is, 'one 18.25 ounce packaged chocolate cake mix'!" Wheatley began.
"Check," Chell replied, placing a bag of cake mix on the table.
"Next, 'one can prepared coconut pecan frosting', and then, '3/4 cup vegetable oil'" he continued.
"Check, check," Chell replied again, placing the ingredients with the cake mix.
Wheatley read on as Chell gathered the supplies, "4 large eggs, 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, ¾ cup butter or margarine, 1 and 2/3 cups granulated sugar, 2 cups all purpose flour…"
"Is that it?" Chell asked when he stopped.
Wheatley frowned slightly at the book. "No…" he replied, "It's just that next it says, 'don't forget garnishes such as fish shaped crackers, fish shaped candies, fish shaped solid waste'…"
"Well, we don't want 'solid waste' in the cake, fish shaped or not," Chell remarked.
Wheatley looked over the ingredients that they already had. "Should we just leave it at that, then?"
"I guess so," she answered. She got out a hand mixer as Wheatley put the ingredients in a large bowl.
"Alright! Can we start mixing?" Chell asked excitedly, holding the mixer like a weapon and grinning evilly.
"Yes! Yes, just be careful with that!" Wheatley answered nervously.
Wisely, he and Glados took a step back as Chell stuck the mixer in the bowl and turned it on, not noticing that it was set on 'high'. It whirled to life, sending various substances splattering all around the room.
"Ack! Turn it off! Turn it off!" Wheatley shrieked in panic, with his hands in front of his face. After a moment, Chell turned it off and flicked a drop of partially mixed substances off her face.
"Well… that was amusing," Chell commented, gazing calmly at the mess.
Glados, shaking substances out of her hair, walked over to her and yanked the mixer out of her hand. "This is why I don't trust you with anything," she hissed in annoyance. After all, who was going to clean this up?
Wheatley looked at the gooey brown substance in the bowl. "I guess if we take a spoon and stir a bit, it should be fine…" He did not want to use that thing again. After stirring, they poured whatever-the-heck was in the bowl into a cake pan and placed it in the oven, setting it as the cookbook instructed.
Ding!
An hour later, the trio cautiously opened the oven door as if it contained the plague. Maybe it did.
At first, it looked like it came out right, with a rich, warm brown color. However, when they took it out, it was a different story. It wiggled like Jell-O, and appeared to be liquid. Wheatley stuck a spoon in it and scooped some out. It stuck to the spoon for a moment, before peeling off and plopping into the pan.
"I might not be as… scientifically inclined as you guys, but I don't think it's supposed to do that…" Wheatley suggested slowly.
"I agree," Glados said, reluctant to agree with a moron, "That is not cake. I don't know what it is…"
"There's a weird smell coming off of it…" Chell said, feeling sick. "Wait, did you put in the right amounts of each ingredient, or did you just throw it all in?"
"Uhh, of course I put in the right amounts!" Wheatley replied indignantly. He held up a tablespoon, "This is a teaspoon, right?"
"Of course," Glados sighed knowingly.
"Sh-should we ask for permission to go to the incinerator?" Wheatley asked nervously.
"No," GLaDOS immediately answered. Her camera was still trying to flick splattered substances off its lens.
"It's too solid to pour down the drain," Glados speculated.
"There are trash bags under the sink," Chell suggested, "We could put it somewhere until we can incinerate it…"
"Alright. That's… better than nothing," Wheatley agreed, pulling out a trash bag. They poured/dumped the weird substance into the bag and left it in the corner.
"So… Should we try again?" Chell suggested innocently. She and Wheatley's eyes met, and mischievous smiles spread across their faces. Glados face palmed again.
Several tries, a bit of cake expertise from Glados, and at least 7 hours of fail cakes later, they… had… done it!
Or so it seemed. It certainly looked like a cake, unlike the last 5 attempts.
"Someone has to try it," Glados commented. So far, this cake's physical features matched that of a normal cake. The question now was if it was edible.
Wheatley, of course, was the one to stick a fork in it and take a bite. He chewed slowly, and his pupils dilated. "Whoa…" he muttered, "This is… BLOODY EXCELLENT! HAHAHAHAHAAA!" He hastily cut himself a piece and began wolfing it down.
Chell looked at Glados suspiciously, "You didn't… slip anything in there, did you?"
"No," Glados calmly replied, "But I did notice that moron add a rather large amount of sugar."
Chell rolled her eyes and cut herself a piece. After a few bites, a wild grin spread across her face. "OMIGWADWEDIDIT!" She said loudly.
"IKNOWRIIIIGHT?" Wheatley yelled in reply, his cake finished. He jumped up and down in front of Glados, "COMEONYOUHAVETOTRYTHISSS!"
"After seeing the way you two are behaving, I think not," Glados replied, keeping her cool.
"OHCOMEOOOONN!" Wheatley pleaded, jumping up and down and waving his arms with a whacked-by-a-hammer grin.
"No," she replied simply, getting a little nervous. She was, after all, locked in an area with a moron and a lunatic who were both high on sugar.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chell laughed, running laps around the table faster than Glados had ever seen a human, even when trying to dodge turret fire.
"OMIGAWD!" Wheatley suddenly yelled, "I KNOW WHAT WE MUST DOOO!"
"WHAT?" Chell yelled, jumping over the table to him.
"WE… SHOULD HAVE… GUMMIE BEARS!" Wheatley said, as serious as possible as one could be on a sugar high.
"YESSS! GUMMIE BEARS!" Chell agreed, bouncing around, "NO, NO, WE SHOULD HAVE… OREOS! MILK'S FAVORITE COOKIE! OREOOOOOOS!"
"YES! OREOS!" Wheatley replied excitedly, "NO, no, no," he said, suddenly quiet, "We… should have… MORE CAAAAAKE!" He yelped with excitement.
"Oh, no," Glados said, grabbing the cake and running to the door. Luckily, GLaDOS opened the door to allow her to pass, but couldn't shut it in time to prevent Chell and Wheatley from escaping as well. She immediately threw the cake into the nearest abyss, hoping that they wouldn't try to go after it. Fortunately, they had already forgotten about the cake and had other ideas.
"OMIGAWD, WHEATLEY, WE SHOULD GO TO THE SURFACE!" Chell suggested enthusiastically.
"YEEAAHHHH! WE SHOULD GO TO THE SURFACE… AND BREAKDAAAANCE!" Wheatley yelled happily in reply.
Before Glados could tell them how stupid that idea was, the lunatics were running/skipping/hopping away at superhuman speed.
She followed them to an open room, not far from GLaDOS's chamber. Wheatley hopped up to her as Chell ran straight at the wall, ran up it for a ways before back flipping onto the floor.
"GLADOOOS! Glados, Glados," Wheatley said, getting softer to a whisper.
"What?" she asked, in a very bad mood.
"Can you hear it?" he asked quietly.
"Hear what?"
"Can you hear it in the ceiling?" Both of them looked up, and only saw the ceiling.
"Do you mean GLaDOS?" Glados asked.
"NOOO!" he answered loudly, "Can you hear it, the bird?" he asked fearfully.
Glados rolled her eyes, looking annoyed even though she was thinking, I am not afraid of birds, I am not afraid of birds!
Besides, there weren't any birds around. Or were there… in the ceiling?
"GUYS GUYS GUYS!" Chell called, running up to them and almost crashing into Glados, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO? WE SHOULD GO THE HERRR CHAMBER!"
"WE CAN GO THERE AND BREAKDANCE!" Wheatley agreed.
"WITH GUMMIE BEARS!" Chell went on, extremely hyper. The two sped off towards the AI's chamber with Glados at their heels, or at least she would be if they weren't in overdrive.
Glados caught up to them as they were literally bouncing off the walls in GLaDOS's chamber and the AI's threats of neurotoxin and incinerators having no effect at all.
"Oh, good, you've finally showed up," GLaDOS commented, not bothering to keep the aggravation out of her voice.
Before Glados could respond, Chell ran between the two. "GLaDOS! Glados! GLaDOS…" she said, looking from one to the other as if she wasn't sure which one she was talking to.
"WHAT?" they both replied irritably. Chell was about to say something, but collapsed.
"TEEHEEHEEHEE!" Wheatley laughed before collapsing as well. For a moment there was silence.
"It's about time they crashed…" Glados muttered.
"Interesting results…" GLaDOS said, as if she had already calmed down. Yeah, as if. Using panels, she tossed Chell and Wheatley into a random relaxation vault that quickly moved out of the chamber. "Now that that's taken care of, you can return to the living area and clean up that mess," GLaDOS ordered sweetly.
Glados sighed, knowing that this would happen, and left the chamber.
