Ghosts
Chapter Four
AN: Although this is now AU, I will try to incorporate what I can from current episodes. This chapter may contain mild spoilers up to "Torn" but please bear in mind it is still AU. Some of the character relationships may no longer be in sync.
Kara surveyed the pilot's rec room. Another cylon raider party had found the fleet that day; another firefight Kara had missed out on. A gaggle of pilots were celebrating their kills, most of them already too drunk to stand. It was another test. Another smile to paste on her face, another public display of how well adjusted she could be for the powers that be.
She needed to fly.
Sharon and Helo sat together at an otherwise empty table, sickeningly sweet expressions on their faces. She headed towards them. She was here to make an appearance. She figured the fewer people she interacted with the better…less chance that she might put someone's eyes out.
"Mind if I join you?" She was already seated before she even bothered to ask. Her eyes were still surveying the room.
"Hey, Kara." Helo was hesitant but his smile was genuine.
Sharon's smile was also hesitant, but held something more. It was almost hopeful. The two women had not exactly had the easiest relationship. Kara flashed a smile back, though hers came off more like a snarl. Here she was sitting across a table from a frakking cylon, a cylon who Adama trusted enough to let fly. Meanwhile she wasn't even allowed on the hangar deck. What was the universe coming to, anyway?
"I hear they kicked some cylon ass out there today. Guess they didn't need me as much as I thought they did." She tried to make this sound as light hearted as possible, but even she could hear the bitter note in her voice.
"They all came home. That makes it a good day." Karl Agathon always tried to find the bright side to every situation. Suddenly Kara realized how much she had missed him. The realization surprised her. "You know they need you, Starbuck, you don't have to question that!"
"Have they given you any idea about how long they're going to keep you grounded, Starbuck?" Sharon's face was open, and Kara heard no hint of sarcasm or barb in her voice. Still, she kept her eyes on Helo, barely acknowledging the woman.
"They want me to 'deal' with what happened on New Caprica. When I do that to their satisfaction, I get my wings back." Kara reached for the bottle in the middle of the table. "Hey, you got enough here for me to have a taste?"
Helo was faster than she was, and was pouring her a drink before she'd even finished the question.
"Thanks. The thing is, I don't know what they expect me to do? I've put it behind me, for frak sakes. I'm trying to move on, but they won't let me. They ground me, but I'm stuck on this ship like a frakking prisoner. How exactly is that supposed to help the situation?" She sucked back the clear liquid, enjoying the burn it left as it travelled down her throat and warmed her belly.
Sharon shifted in her seat and coughed quietly. "Well, if you are interested, I'm doing a supply run in the morning, I could ask to have you along as my security detail. People aren't always as happy to see me as you'd think." She said this with a quiet laugh. "It would get you out of here for a few hours, anyway."
Kara studied her for a moment, and the table was quiet. It was a raptor, not a viper, and she wouldn't be the one doing the flying, but she'd be getting away from all the scrutiny. That would make having to put up with the company worth it.
"Yeah, Ok…" She held her glass out, ready for another, "Sure, I'm in."
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The raptor was docked at the Geminon Traveller, unloading medical supplies. Sharon was on the deck going over the cargo she was going to be loading onto the raptor. Her new call sign was Athena. Kara said it out loud a couple of times, letting it roll off of her tongue. Not for the first time today, she found herself thinking how ironic it was that a cylon was now a full-fledged Lieutenant in the Colonial Fleet.
"How quickly they forget!" she muttered. She wasn't going to complain, though. Sharon had gotten her off of Galactica, which is more than she'd been able to do for herself. Still, she wasn't about to turn her back on the toaster anytime soon.
She was sitting in the raptor's pilot chair, her feet up on the console, biting her nails. They had three more ships to get to before they had to head back. By her calculations, she'd be able to stretch this out until this evening. It was almost like a vacation. If this went well, if she behaved, maybe she could turn this into a regular gig until they let her get back in the vipers. She could handle that. She wasn't serving any real purpose in her current state.
A sudden bright light flooded the cargo deck. Kara snapped to attention, squinting against the light. It faded almost as quickly as it had come, in time for Kara to see the figure standing in the cargo bay doors. It was only a brief glimpse, as he turned and disappeared into the corridor, but it was long enough.
"Oh my Gods!" Her voice cracked as she spoke. She scrambled out of the raptor, pulling her sidearm from its holster.
"Starbuck! What the frak is going on?" Sharon started towards her, her voice raised. Activity in the cargo bay came to a halt, and all eyes were on Kara.
"It was a cylon! A frakking cylon! He was standing right there!" She was running now, almost to the corridor. "It was him!"
"Starbuck, wait!"
She ignored the flurry of activity behind her, ignored Sharon's cries. She knew what she'd seen and he wasn't going to get away from her. She'd tear this ship apart if she had to. She ran through the corridor with her sidearm in hand.
And there he was.
Leoben.
He'd turned down a corridor that ended abruptly. He had nowhere to go. She came up behind him as he turned to face her. He was smiling that same frakking smile. She levelled the weapon, pointed it directly at his forehead.
"How the hell did you get on this ship? How could they not recognize you, you mother frakker!" She was shouting, spit flying out her mouth and hitting his face.
"I've been waiting for you, Kara." His smile never faltered.
"Starbuck, no! Put down your weapon!" Sharon's voice was panicked as she came up behind her. Glancing over her shoulders she saw more than seven men, all with weapons drawn and pointed squarely at her.
"You idiots! He's a cylon! How could you not have noticed him, how could you not have recognized him? He's been right here under your frakking noses!"
"Sir, lower your weapon!" The man directly to her right had the barrel of his weapon now pressed against the back of her head. She closed her eyes, silently cursing their stupidity. She cocked her gun, and prepared to take the shot.
As her finger began to tighten on the trigger, she opened her eyes and all at once the universe shifted right in front of her eyes. The man standing at the other end of her weapon was a pale, shaky boy, not more than twenty years old, if that. Leoben was gone. As her mind tried to wrap itself around that fact, the man behind her lowered the butt of his weapon on her skull.
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"I don't know what happened, Sir. She went crazy, took off running. They had to knock her out to stop her from shooting that poor kid."
Sharon's voice was shaking, and seemed to be coming from very far away. Kara didn't even try to open her eyes, knowing the effort was probably going to cause her more pain than it would be worth. And when she opened them there would be questions. She wasn't ready for that yet.
It was Admiral Adama's voice she heard next, and she cursed silently. So much for showing him how well she was handling everything.
"What the hell set her off?" His voice was controlled.
"She was screaming about the kid being a cylon."
"Well, is he a cylon? What do we know about this 'kid'?"
Another voice, one she couldn't place, answered the question. "No sir. His name is Jonah Wiles. I've known him for most of his life, knew his parents back on Geminon. He's no more a toaster than I am."
"Sharon? Do you have anything to add?"
"He's not a cylon, Sir."
Well, Kara thought, she'd know.
She stayed still until she'd heard their footsteps walking away. Then she braved the pain and opened her eyes. She was in sickbay, on Galactica. She must have been unconscious for a while if they managed to get her all the way back here before she'd woken up.
She didn't understand what had happened. She'd seen Leoben. There was no doubt in her mind about that. He'd spoken to her. And then he'd just been gone. So did that make him a ghost, or did it make her insane? Or was the truth some mixture of the two?
She tried to sit up, and immediately regretted it. It felt like someone had driven a spike through the back of her head. Falling back against the pillow, she took a ragged breath.
"Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer," she whispered. "I think I might be losing my mind. Or not. Either way I'm in trouble. Please… help me."
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She lies flat, staring up at familiar constellations. There is something inside of her, pushing her to start moving, but she ignores it. She is tired. She wants to rest.
The thunder is faint here, but the sound persists. It is not too late. She just needs to move.
She is not in the grove. She is not even in the forest. There are no trees here, no soft sounds of leaves rustling. Here it is hard and cold. Her body begins to ache from the cold as she lies there. Sitting up she looks around, and realizes she is not alone.
Dozens of faces watch her from the shadows. She is in some type of courtyard, and the faces peer in at her from behind walls and from behind columns. Dozens of pairs of sharp eyes all focussed on her.
"Please, help me." Her voice is hoarse. They don't even blink.
"Kara." The name is followed by a giggle. Turning, she sees Kasey standing alone near a doorway.
"I don't understand, Kace…I don't know what you need from me?" The child raises her small hand and beckons Kara to follow her. Then she backs up into the doorway.
Kara's steps are hesitant. She can see the young girl's face, smiling and hopeful. She follows her through the doorway, and finds herself on a stone balcony. She feels this place could have been magnificent, if it wasn't so sad.
Looking out, off of the balcony, Kara's breath is taken away by the sheer size of what she is seeing. It is a city, so vast that she cannot see the end of it. But it is unlike any city she has seen before. Though light is low, and night still envelopes them, she can feel the emptiness of what is before her.
"Where are they?" She looks down at the child. Tears stream down Kasey's face, and she is inconsolable. Kara picks her up, tries to soothe her, holding the small head against her shoulder. "Hush, baby. I'm here."
As she holds the child, she begins to feel the heat radiating from her small body. Kara kneels, laying Kasey on the ground in front of her. She is soaking wet, and her eyes are rolled back so that only the whites are showing.
"Kasey, honey, wake up!" The girl is convulsing now, and Kara turns back towards the courtyard in panic.
"Somebody, please, talk to me. She is sick... she needs help! I don't know what to do for her!" They all stare at her, unmoved.
Then the chanting begins, this time coming at her from all directions. That song. That same frakking song. She wants to scream at them, wants them to listen to her, but the song confuses her mind. She looks behind her, but Kasey is gone.
"Stop! Stop singing!" She runs to the centre of the yard. Folded neatly on the ground is her flight suit with her helmet perched on top of the pile.
"Do you think…" the voices blend, their harmony resonates through the stone yard. "That you could ever…"
"I'm not leaving her here!" She screams wildly. "Bring her back, I'm not going to leave here without her!"
"Through all eternity…."
Why does she know this frakking song? She gathers up the flight suit, holding it tight to her chest as she'd been holding Kasey only moments earlier. It is important that she take the suit.
"Find out the generation…."
"I'm coming, Kasey! I'm coming back for you!" She is sobbing now, the voices so loud that her head throbs in agony. She needs to go. She needs to leave this place now. This knowledge is absolute and the urgency is unmistakeable. "I promise I'll be back. I won't leave you, baby."
"Where Gods began to be."
Her eyes flutter open, and it takes her a moment to remember where she is. Still on Galactica, still in sickbay. The lights are low, and the curtain around her bed has been pulled closed. It must be late.
For a few moments she thinks she is alone, and allows her mind to replay the dream over and over, trying to make sense of it. How can one dream of something one has never seen. She'd never seen a city like that, and she'd been to almost all of the Thirteen Colonies.
Her breath catches in her throat as she feels a warm hand cover hers.
"Nice of you to join us, Kara. I was starting to get worried."
Turning her head, she tries to reconcile these words with the face staring back at her, sitting at her bedside and holding her frakking hand.
Lee.
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A/N: OK…so the song itself is borrowed. It is a Mormon Hymn written by William W Phelps, called "If you could hie to Kolob."
