Author's note: Okay, this was my favourite chapter to write. I seriously couldn't stop. And then I realized I had to get up at seven the next morning, I was doomed to a day of constantly falling asleep. But enough about that, reviews always welcome, and appreciated.
Disclaimer: I own the usual nothing. Oh, and I don't own "Spongebob Squarepants" either. I know it doesn't make any sense for me to say right now, but read, and it will.
Author's note 2: I give up, I tried to fall asleep for like two hours—with this story on my mind. I gave into it. I sense coffee in my future. Oh, and this is LONG. Well, it's the longest thing I've written. I wrote it in pieces also, so if it seems a little choppy-ish, that's why.
I was running. I don't know how long I have been. I'm in this endless track that just keeps going and going. Around me I see other runners. At a closer look I see that they're all me—at different ages. I've been running for so long. I can feel the lactic acid building up into my legs. They're cramping. It hurts. I don't know how much longer I can keep going.
I see the finish line. Dad, Jackson, and—Mom? How is she there? I want to go to her. To see her, again. I'm almost there. I need to stay ahead of the others. Even though those others are myself. My chest is hurting. I'm breathing way too hard. The ending is expanding. It's getting farther away. What? I was almost there! I can't do this! It's too hard!
My legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor. All the other bodies of me combined into one, around nine years old. The family all put their arms around each other, and walked away from me. There was a bright flash of light--
I jolted awake in a cold sweat. What was that? And why was Mom there? I haven't seen her since—she died. But I don't want to think about that. I won't think about that. It'll bring back too much.
I glanced at the clock. It was six in the morning. I still had a half hour before my alarm. I flopped down on the mattress. I hope today goes well. And then I remembered, Lilly! I shot out of bed. I can't wait to see her. I scuttled to the shower and peeled off my clothes. The sunburn I had yesterday, was basically gone. The lotion helped. Thank you Lilly!
I took my time in the shower, seeing as I had an extra half hour. After I was done, I blow-dried my hair, leaving it in its natural chestnut curls. I exited the bathroom and opened up my dresser. I had put everything in last night—which took forever. But I needed to have access to all of my clothes, so I could look my best.
And then I went into outfit mode. Would this work? Nah, too dressy. This? Nah, too casual. I held up a blue v-neck. Not bad. What would that go with? I searched more and saw a denim skirt. Oh, perfect! And the final part, white flip flops. Well, that seems school appropriate to me. It was now... seven-thirty. Wow, I guess it's good I got up early.
I went downstairs and ate breakfast. Cereal, the one I got from the store the other day. The box was a little crushed from when it fell. I fell on it a little too. Sorry box. Dad had gone and got more milk too. I found out that when I dropped it, most of it spilled out. Is that low quality cardboard, or what?
The doorbell rang and my heart skipped a beat. Just then, Dad came running down the stairs. "Wait!" He caught up to me, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. "I made you a lunch, your favorite, barbecue chicken sandwich!" I crinkled my nose, maybe when I was five it was my favorite.
"Uh, thanks Dad." I grimaced and grabbed the bag, fast walking to the door. I opened the door to find the girl who I'd been so greatly trying to impress this morning. "Bye Dad!"
I could practically feel his face burrow in confusion. "Don't you need a ride?"
"Na! I'm getting one from a friend, see ya!" And I shut the door. Laying my back against it after. I let out a loud breath of relief. "Shall we?" I smiled at Lilly.
"We shall." She led me to her car. It was a boring gray Honda. Not something I expected from this very energetic girl. We both got in and she started driving. I glanced over at her, Lilly looks so pretty today. Hell, she's looked pretty every time I've seen her. I felt myself blushing. Crap! I hid it by looking out the window.
"So," Lilly started. "I see you showed up today."
"You thought I'd stand you up? I'm shocked!" I faked a hurt face.
She laughed. "No, no. I thought that maybe you'd forget, and then I'd show up and look like an idiot," she admitted.
"Seriously? Aww, I wouldn't do that."
"Well...." she drifted off and glanced over at me. "I see the sunburns almost gone."
"Yup! Thanks for the advice." We paused at a stoplight.
"Want me to crank up the tunes?"
"Hell yes!"
Lilly shuffled the stations. She blew right past rap, which made me smile. Settled for a second on scremo, but then continued. Then she stopped on a station that had an almost pop-ish alternative music feel. "Is this okay?"
"Perfect." We spent almost the rest of the ride in a very comfortable silence. It feels like I've known this girl forever.
We pulled into a parking lot. Oh God I've been so focused on her, that I completely forgot about school. A rush of worry struck me. I'm sure Lilly could see it because she then said, "Don't worry, if anyone tries to give you shit, I'll punch 'em out," she pulled the sleeve of her shirt up showing muscle—well not that much muscle.
I smirked, I definitely didn't need any help in that department. Back home I got in some fights before. It went something like this:
Idiot - 'Stewart! You're such a (insert curse word here) and you should just go die!'
Me: (Smirks.)
Idiot: 'You think you're so cool? Well take this!' (throws mediocre punch)
Me: Catches punch, twists their arm and pushes them to the ground.
Idiot: Tries to get up.
Me: Pushes them down again, and in the process, Idiot hits their head on something, and it knocks them out cold.
It was very amusing watching people try to stand up to me. Hell, I'm no muscle woman, but I can punch, and kick. Although my aim isn't too good.
I believe I must've zoned out, because Lilly was shaking my shoulder. "Uh, Miley?" She waved her hand in front of my face. "Helloo? Earth to Miley?" She then proceeded to do something a little—strange. She started grabbed my chin and mimicked me saying things. "Yes Lilly." She pretended to do my voice. "I know I'm being a little stupid right now by not listening to Lilly and getting out of the damn car."
I snapped out my trance. "Huh, what?" I looked down and saw her hand on my chin. "What the fuck are you doing?" I said with a laugh and pushed her hand off. It left a stinging sensation that I didn't really get.
"Come onnn, we have to go! Do you want to be late for your first day?"
"Yes," I mumbled.
She walked me to the administration office. There was a creepy looking lady with what appeared to be—no, it couldn't, it was a mustache. I held back laughs. Lilly noticed and amusement showed in her eyes. "Hello? Can I help you?" The mustache-lady said with a high droney voice that almost resembled Squidward from "Spongebob Squarepants".
At this point I was almost laughing out loud. I started coughing from holding back my laughter. Lilly took the initiative to speak for me. "Uh, yeah. This is Miley--" and then she blanked out. I just realized I had never told her my last name.
"Miley...what?" Mustache-lady rolled her eyes.
"Stewart. I'm new here, today's my first day," I said, faking cheeriness in my voice.
"Well good for you!" she said sarcastically. I frowned, bitch.
"Yeah. Can I have my schedule?"
"I don't know, can you?"
Oh, my God. What is with this lady? Can't she just give me my damn schedule so I can get on with my life? She is not going to make me play the polite game with the 'may I's?' and 'would you be so kind's?'
"May I please have my schedule?" I grunted out.
She handed it to me. "Yes, yes you may." That is the last time I ever plan on going into the administration office.
The second I walked out of there Lilly started laughing. "Your face!" she managed to say. "It was priceless!"
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
"Okay." Her laughing fit ended. "I'm done. Now lemme see your schedule." Lilly grabbed it out of my hands. I watched her eyes scroll down it. "Well," she started. "We've got Gym, Math, Science, and English together."
I cringed at the gym part. I have bad memories of gym class. Being forced to climb a rope is not something I'd like to re-live. The only thing I was good at was running laps—though I never enjoyed it. All the other sports I failed miserably at. Soccer? Miss the ball every time. Hockey? Let's just say it's possible to hit yourself in the head with your own stick.
Math was never my best subject either. I'm not a number person. I was always jealous of those people who were like human calculators. And Science? Eh, I always thought the experiments were cool, but I never cared for answering the questions about them.
Now, English, that was something I was good at. I loved making short stories, writing poems, all of it. But I liked to do it when I felt like it. Not when some old man who can barely see anymore tells me to. I also hated the formal papers about books and research. If I did them, which was not usual—I did a half-ass job at it. The only problem with my short stories though, is that they had swearing in them. And I totally wasn't sent to the principals office for writing those words, nope. Not. At. All.
Lilly and I were walking to—I have no idea, when I spotted some guy with long-ish shaggy brown hair. Lilly stopped in front of him and pointed to me. "Oliver, this is Miley. Miley, this is Oliver," she said almost smugly. Sounding somewhat proud to know us both.
"Hey Oliver." I waved awkwardly.
"Sup, Miley." He did a weird head nod thing. Interesting.
"Uh, nothing much," I responded, yet Oliver didn't. An immense awkward pause followed. Both of us looked anywhere but at each other, while Lilly, was staring at us with amusement. Oliver may have cool shaggy hair, but he's definitely not a charmer.
The loud and obnoxious bell saved us. I silently sighed of relief. Lilly went to show me to my first class—any guesses what it is? It's lovely gym! Joy to the world...
The locker room was weird, and...uncomfortable. The 'supervisor' in the locker room (which I just think is really creepy) threw gym clothes to me—which smelled dirty. Ew.
Today's sport of choice? Dodgeball! Or better known as: All-the-boys-run-and-kill-each-other-while-the-girls-just-stand-around-and-talk ball. Well, except for Lilly, she...was hard to describe. One minute she was pegging people, the next, yelling at the girls to get their foot out of their ass and play. What did I do? I quietly excused myself to the bathroom, which didn't smell any better than the gym clothes I was wearing at the moment. I just kinda hung out there. Eventually I hard a bunch of girls talking, and one in particular, yelling. Lilly, I snickered.
I uneventfully entered the locker room again and changed into my normal clothes. I had no idea what to do with the gym crap. Should I give it back to the supervisor? Or just burn it? I set the clothes down on a bench. They won't notice. I went over to where Lilly was. "You played quite a game."
She gave me a thumbs up. "You know it! God, all the girls here are such babies! Getting hit in the face is not a big deal, it happens to me all the time!"
I didn't say anything, why disagree with her? I decided to change the subject as we were walking to our regular lockers. "Don't you think having a 'supervisor' in the locker rooms is kinda creepy? Because supervise means to watch...so are they supposed to watch us, you know, getting changed?" I frowned.
Lilly giggled. "No, silly! They're just there to make sure that no fights happen. I heard a few years ago, some girl got so mad over loosing a game, that she punched another girl out! Isn't that awesome?" What? How is that awesome? Okay...yeah, it is.
"What did the other girl do?"
"She got up, and a full fledged catfight broke out!" Lilly is so enthusiastic. "Eventually the principal came, but when he tried to interfere, one of the girls punched him! Greatest story of all time."
I nodded my head and opened my lock. "Lilly, where's my next class?"
She looked down at my schedule. "Oh, don't worry, you have it with me."
That entire class I felt my eyes drifting to Lilly, who was sitting a few desks in front of me. I gave up with trying to resist. I just stared at her back. I was creeping myself out.
Time flew by until lunch. Where I sat with Oliver, Lilly, and some other kids who I didn't know. No one's come up to me, or said anything about my accent. I swear, it's like Lilly told everyone, and threatened them not to say anything. Just when I thought I was in the clear, some guy came up to me.
"Hey," he said, and then did a hair flip thing. "I'm Jake Ryan."
"Uh, hey," I answered, though it sounded more like a question.
"Oh, southern girl, that's sexy, I like it."
What? Seriously, what? Well, he heard the accent. "Cool," I responded coldly.
"So." He put his hand on our table dramatically. "I was wondering. Would you like to go out tonight?"
No. No! Not at all. Leave me alone! "No, that's okay."
He looked shooken up, but quickly regained his composure. "Are you sure? I'm captain of the basketball team."
"Positive." I grinned.
"Oh." He sounded pissed. "Whatever. Bye."
A moment passed by, Lilly and Oliver were staring at me incredulously. "You just turned down Jake Ryan, he's like, the most popular guy in school!" Lilly said and gave me a high five. Oliver didn't say anything, just looked at me.
"Yeah, well he seemed like an asshole."
"He is," Oliver said. "He's played more girls than I can count."
"Wow," we finished our lunches and headed to our next classes. Which consisted of me creepily staring at Lilly, and getting lost. Then, the bell rang. School was out, day one of...a high number, complete.
Lilly and Oliver walked up to me. "Hey," Lilly started. "Do you wanna go to the beach after school, maybe learn to surf a little?"
I don't think I should try it yet, maybe just watch. "Um, could I watch instead?"
"Sure," Oliver said. "Hey I'm gonna go start the car, see you in a few."
Lilly continued. "Surfings really fun. You should try it sometime."
"I will, I will," I reassured her. Will I go in the water today? "Should I wear my bikini?" I thought out loud.
Lilly blushed. "Uh-um," she stuttered. "Whatever you want, Miles." I smiled at the new nickname.
I remember I left a bikini on the table back home. Well it's on the way to the beach. They won't mind. "Let's go." I pointed to the car.
The ride back was nice. We stopped off at my house and I got my bikini. I don't know where I'm going to put it on. I wish I thought of that before...
I found some port-a-potty thing. I cringed. Do I really want to do this? Just try, a part of me said. The other was saying hell no! I pushed my stubbornness aside and got changed in the chamber of doom, putting my clothes over my bikini.
I stepped outside and saw Lilly and Oliver surfing. It looked alright. I watched them for a little while. But I mostly concentrated on Lilly. I just couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from her. The way she moved so—almost gracefully. I have no idea how long I was watching her. Time just stood still for a while. She came off the water a few times. But I was too awestruck to say anything other than 'Your awesome!' and 'Wow!' Some other words that came to mind--but were not said were 'You're hot.' And that one, I didn't quite get, so I pushed it aside.
Oliver had to get home, and Lilly had to drive him. I said goodbye to Oliver and Lilly (reluctantly). I shuffled to the front door, my head in the clouds.
"Dad I'm home!" I yelled out while slamming the door. I saw him hunched over the table, he was shaking a little. "Dad?" I said a little quieter. I walked over to him and saw him holding a picture of Mom in his hands. I stiffened. We hadn't talked about Mom since she died. This....would be awkward. I placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me and quickly looked down, wiping his eyes. His hair fell in his face.
He cleared his throat. "Uh, hey Miles, how was school?" Dad got up and walked over to the sink, turning on the water and splashing his face with water. Why is he trying to hide his emotions from me?
I'll just go along with this conversation for now.
"Fine, I watched my friends Lilly and Oliver surf after school today. It looks interesting, I want to learn," the word 'friends' was ringing in my ears. Were they friends, or just nice acquaintances? I certainly want Lilly to be my friend, Oliver, well—sure, why not.
"Well that's nice." He cleared his throat again. "So what do you want for dinner?"
I was still very distracted. "Anything is fine." He suddenly turned around, his eyes red. I jumped back, taken by surprise. His face was of confusion. Do I really disagree with him that much? He nodded his head slightly and began to walk up the stairs. I eyed the picture on the table. Mom passed away when I was ten years old. I was close to her, she was the only one who really understood me. And when she passed away, I felt like I had no one. I started lashing out at Dad and Jackson because they couldn't be what Mom was to me. We went from a happy family, to a distressed, broken up family.
At first, I was extremely sad. I wouldn't leave my room, and I could tell that Jackson and dad were worried. But I didn't care, I just wanted Mom back. I wanted her to hold me in her arms and call me her little girl. I wanted to talk to her about my problems, and help me. That's all I wanted. But she would never come back. I would never see her again. It hurt so badly, the sense of loss. I felt like there was a hole in my heart. I would spend days just crying. It didn't even seem like Dad was as sad as I was, but I was in my room the whole time, how would I know?
I suddenly felt something wet on my thigh. I reached up and touched my cheek, I—was crying. I haven't done that since, well since I fell and broke my arm when I was twelve. It feels weird crying. It was coming back, the pain. I let six years of held emotion pour into my system. It feels like someone just took a chunk out of me. It hurts—it hurts so bad.
I don't think I can take this all at once. It's making me ache and cry. I was breathing hard and began crying more heavily. I was sobbing so hard I was shaking. I had sunken to the floor, my head in my knees. I called out for her, "Mom!" I yelled. "I-I can't take this!" I cried for a few more minutes. I needed someone. "Dad! Jackson! Lilly..." My voice died out at that last part.
Dad came running down the stairs, saw the picture of mom and pulled me into a tight embrace. I cried into his chest. "I miss her! I miss her so much!" I shouted. Everything was hitting me, and it was hitting hard. Even at the funeral, it wasn't like this. When I saw her last in that coffin, she looked so...peaceful. We all held each other, Dad, Jackson, and I. But this time, even more is broken, and I am the cause! I ruined everything!
"Make it stop, Daddy," I whispered to him. "It hurts too much!" I sobbed for a few more minutes. Emptying myself until nothing else came out—just strangled sobs. I quieted down and lifted my head from his chest. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"It's okay Miles, you're okay," he said.
"But it's not, I've—I've hurt both of you. You and Jackson, I've been so mean!" Tears welled up in my eyes again. "I'm a terrible daughter!" I started crying again, burying my head in his chest.
"Shh," he said. "No you're not, Miley. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I didn't know how to help you, I-I should have done more."
"No! It's my fault, everything is my fault! Mom dying, and our family splitting up! Everything..."
"Don't ever think that! Mom dying wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault..." he drifted off.
"But if I wasn't born, she might not have gotten cancer. I never should have been born, all I've done is ruin everything."
"Miley, you being born was one of the happiest moments of my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything."
That meant a lot. "Really, Dad?"
"Really."
I felt the need to say something I hadn't in a very long time. "I love you, Daddy."
He smiled at me. "I love you too, Miles."
Awwww, father-daughter moment.
What'd ya think? I wasn't sure about the whole thing with the Mom part. I was afraid it was too early in the story, but I needed Miley to make amends with her father...soo yeah.
