And I'm thinking of what Sarah said…
That "Love is watching someone die…"
I was just listening to that and I thought, hey, what the heck? Might as well put it in.
So who's gonna watch you die?
"Jasper, I'm so sorry," Alice said to me after school that day for the billionth time. "I had no idea. If I had known, you know I would've taken you away from there today."
"Of course you would have," I said. "I don't question that at all, Alice. And it's okay – everyone's alive."
"But what if they weren't?" my sweetheart asked worriedly. "What if you slipped? It would be all my fault."
"No, Alice, it would have been my fault. I would have been the one to slip; I would have been the one to kill her. I would be responsible. Not you." It really peeved me that my family thought I couldn't handle myself, and though I hardly could at times, I wasn't a newborn. I wasn't out of control completely. It was just harder for me; that's all.
"But if I just could have seen it coming –"
"But you didn't," I interrupted her before she could blame herself more. "It was a chance decision. There's nothing any of us could do."
"I just feel so guilty," Alice said sadly.
"Don't," I whispered softly as I kissed her tenderly on her lips. It wasn't long before Alice and I were making out fiercely, joined together as one.
Emmett, being Emmett, happily took on the task of keeping track of everyone's sex life. So far, nobody had beaten his and Rosalie's record, and Emmett loved to boast. But I'd never been a competition kind of guy, and so I was just glad to have Alice in my arms.
Emmett cleared his throat loudly from behind us. We broke away quickly, and I spun around to face him irritably. "Not to interrupt you lovey-doveys, but don't you think you guys can wait until we get home?" he asked like only Emmett could. "I mean, I know you've waited so long already, but…"
I scowled. "We can't all be as big as King Kong, Emmett," I said snippily, took Alice's hand, and together we began to run at full speed back to the house to finish what we started.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
"She invited me to her house," I said quietly to Alice as dawn began to approach.
"Who?"
Vampires tended to get easily distracted, and it had taken all afternoon and night to remember. It had been so nice spending time with Alice. But I did have things to deal with, important things.
"Evadne," I told my beautiful girl. "She invited me to her house and told me to think about it."
"But you can't do that!" Alice gasped worriedly. "What if you –"
"Kill her?" I finished for her. "Now, Alice. Why would I do that?" My attempt at humor was weak, and Alice was too worried to smile. "I want to go," I said seriously instead. "If I can learn control…"
I didn't finish the sentence. I didn't have to. If I could learn control, I wouldn't be known as the creepy guy anymore. I could be normal, or as normal as a vampire could be. I wouldn't be accused as emo, called Captain Hook behind my back (according to Edward), and best of all, my family wouldn't have to worry about me so much.
"It's risky," Alice said quietly.
"I know," I sighed. "But I can handle it. I promise. You'd be able to tell if I couldn't, right?"
"I don't see anything," she admitted. "I guess it's because you haven't decided whether to kill her yet, or Evadne hasn't decided what to do with you while you're over at her house…"
"Don't worry, Alice," I reassured her. "I'll be fine. Just fine."
I knew Alice deeply doubted that, as did I, but she shut her mouth and continued to kiss me, as if that would change my mind.
It is rated T, you know. Besides, that's what vampires are known for. Or at least, the Cullen vampires…
If you don't like it, imagine something else.
By the way, the song I was talking about before was called What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie.
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